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seen from China

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I'm alive for other people, truth is I couldn't care less if I died. I'm only here so I can hopefully make other people's lives better.
I wish my mom could see me now. I think she'd be so proud of me. I was talking to my dad today about her and everything that's been happening within the last few weeks and he said she'd definitely be so proud of me. 😭 Like I started tearing up over Skype and had to apologize (which my dad of course said it's good to cry sometimes). Idk, it'd just be cool to hear her actually say it and tell me I'm doing okay. I miss her, but I know she's watching me and smiling.
I want to die 💖
God... I hate how I always like people who are taken... one day I'll find someone who isn't.
I’m restarting my blog. I’ve moved to https://spood-beest.tumblr.com/
I want to just die. I'm so tired.. I feel like I'm falling apart.
I've done a pretty good job on fucking my life up this week. I feel dead and I wish I could just fade from existence right now.