#ally tips

[wakewithgiggli]

Being an Ally (from UC Davis)

Expanding Your Allyship   Many folks are interested in learning more about how to practice allyship.  In particular, our campus community ha

[quietb00m]

Idk who needs 2 hear thissss

But "ally" isn't a title or state of being that u call yurself, in fact the power to call you that is outside your control- it's in the control of the folks u help

In other words

"Ally" is something marginalized ppl begin to recognize you as, over time, based on your actions. You behavior will let people in need of help know that you're one of the "safe" ones, who are lending a hand to the fight. Aka, an ally

[disaster-trash]

pro tip on being a good friend/ally

dead naming someone is not the same as a nickname!!!

let’s say your friend sam came out nb and they’re calling you a dumb nick name like “bread stick” as a joke, you don’t deadname them and say “ok andrew”

thats actually offensive and makes you a horrible friend :)

[earthmoonlotus]

Sincere white advocates for POC expressly resist being labeled as such. They acknowledge their own privilege & power in the conversation and are very sensitive to try NOT to call public attention to themselves for their work, instead pointing attention towards POC.  Sincere white advocates for POC don’t feel threatened when they see that elevating POC may result in a loss of their own control. They gladly and quietly subsume themselves and find ways to hand over their power and privilege to those whose voices have been marginalized.

Helen Lee

[full text here]

[arokaladin]

as an aroace my boundaries re: what sexual activity I’m comfortable hearing about or seeing have occasionally been disrespected but nowhere near as often as my romantic boundaries of similar nature/intensity have been. It’s actually far more likely for people who know I’m aroace to disrespect my agency as an asexual by assuming I have certain boundaries re: sexual content that I don’t and not bothering to ask, than it is for them to carelessly set off my sex repulsion. While this is patronising and shitty, it pales compared to how bad it feels to have my romance repulsion ignored and frequently set off even by the same people. Plus in general, having boundaries regarding sex is socially acceptable in a way that having them regarding romance definitely isn’t, and you’re much, much less likely to be forced to view sexual content on the day to day than you are to be forced to view romantic content, which happens constantly. Basically what I’m saying is it’s time for people to start respecting romance repulsion. You don’t get to pick and choose which boundaries are valid.

[thatfuckinaro]

hey @ aro community,,,, ima make a kinda aro ally 101 youtube video just basically subtweeting in video form a buncha peeps with platforms... so if y’all have any ideas on other things i should mention pleaaase hmu! what i have rn is: * LISTEN TO US

* dont use amatanormative language (“just friends”)

* dont misuse and misatribute out terms (queerplatonic)

* dont FUCKING act like shitterdale is ok

* if you’re just talking about aces, dont say you’re talking about us. and mentioning aros for like 3 seconds in a normal length video about asexuality or anything else doesnt count. We get talked about little enough, you dont need to trick us into consuming your content.

* use the words ace, aroace, aspec, and aro appropriately. Dont say ‘aroace’ if you mean ‘aspec’ or ‘aro and/or ace’ (if it can apply to peeps who are only one). Dont say aspec if what you’re saying only applies to one or the other. dont use ace to mean aspec or aro. it doesnt include us. etc

* GIVE US A PLATFORM. talk about what we say, retweet it, repost it on different platforms with credit. And no, i dont mean only when you’re making a big long video about us (though more of those would be great)

[thatfuckinaro]

tweeted this- figured its worth reposting here

[arokaladin]

Media with aro characters shipping their romo friends are just so weird, like, all my friends come to me for relationship advice (which tbh feels like common sense that they already know minus emotions) and the first thing I say is always "Okay, but *why* are you dating this person?? You love them? Sounds fake but okay?? We're still intent on the dating? Okay, here's what I think." Give me judgey aros who have No Idea why their friends are being so WEIRD but they love them so they accept it.

yeah people who write aros as massive real life shippers have obviously never met a real aro in their life and don’t care to lmao. we’re nothing but plot devices to them and its ugly.