#romance repulsion

[twacn]

Okay actually, while I'm thinking about it, folks who experience romance repulsion, what is the main feeling you would describe romance repulsion as?

Romance repulsion feels most like:

Literal nausea

Spiraling

Frustration

Confusion

Guilt

Grossness

Detachment

Anger

Fear

Issolation/feeling other-ed

Sadness

Something else?

Voting ended onSep 13, 2024

At least for me I feel some combination of these things, but there is a clear winner in what it feels most-like. Please leave in the tags any specifics you can, I haven't ever actually heard people describe romance repulsion (or what specifically triggers it! Now that I'm thinking about it, please also add when you seem to feel it) and I'd love to feel less alone in a very specific feeling

[aro-culture-is]

Aro culture is getting grossed out when the words attractive/attracted are mentioned anywhere -_-

.

[rawpastas]

My reaction to romance is either "AWWW THATS BEAUTIFUL OMLLLL I LOVE THAT!!!!"

Or "if you mention THAT one more time I will fucking strangle you i swear to the gods"

[pusong-mangga]

we really truly need more kind and loving and benevolent and sweet and compassionate and happy-go-lucky and optimistic and idealistic and principled and trustworthy characters who are unabashedly romance-repulsed, whose romance repulsion isn't just brought up for gags

[platoniromantic-feelings]

I think one of the things that give me the 'ick' about romance is the way people describe it as involuntary. People who fall in love portray it as this involuntary urge to be close to the object of their desire, to kiss them, to be near them all the time, et cetera.

I didn't consciously decide to desire chocolate, books, tea, the company of my friends, or any of the other things that please me, so I suppose my desire for those things is also involuntary, but I do have some control over how much I allow those things to dominate my life, and if I didn't — if I became addicted to chocolate, for example — everyone would acknowledge that as a negative thing and agree that I should strive to break my addiction. The way people talk and act about romance makes it sound like they have no choice: their love and desire for their beloveds take over their minds and they just can't help themselves: they are besotted, addicted, and consumed, and often they don't even notice what they are sacrificing (other relationships, hobbies, sleep, et cetera) in their obsession.

Is that healthy? Should we view that as a positive or sweet or cute thing? Is it harmless?

Romance is typically held up as the highest good for any person, and yet this is just one of several things about romance that make me feel queasy and alarmed because they sound so dang unhealthy.

[sagegreenyaps]

Me, holding a microphone up to all the people who equate being sex-repulsed with being a puritan: Um, okay, and how do you feel about romance-repulsed people?

[aromanticduck]

Realising I might be more romance-repulsed than I thought. When I was trying to search for that 'I know this and I love you' meme, instead of just showing the Parks and Rec scene, the search results jumpscared me with page titles like 'romantic memes to send to your partner' and 'deep love quotes' and I actually said 'ew' out loud.

[rickybutlersays]

for those who may want it,

some tv shows for people who are romance or sex repulsed;

• monty pythons flying circus

• star trek the original series

• star trek the animated series

• the thick of it

• red dwarf (first few seasons definitely)

• the mighty boosh

(I go back to these shows all the time as I feel safe watching them as someone who is sex and romance repulsed)