#almostdoctor

[dr-sweetnlowe]

Due to the changes made to our schedules because of the coronavirus, I just had my last patient in the University of Illinois Veterinary Teaching Hospital....unless I get called in again between now and 8pm... I belong to the anesthesia service until 8pm when my on call shift ends. I had just thrown in a load of laundry when I got a call from one of the interns on ER telling me that there was a ferret that we needed to do an exploratory surgery on. We suspected maybe some kind of obstruction/foreign body. It was my first time anesthetizing a ferret, first time (successfully) intubating a ferret, and my last time working on a live patient in this hospital. Unfortunately due to the poor prognosis once they got inside the abdomen we had to euthanize the ferret. As much as I would have loved for her to make it and I could have my last case be a success, it was in her best interest. It’s been a wild ride so far and even more wild recently. My last 6 weeks (starting two weeks from now) are still up in the air so stay tuned for that. . . . . . . . . . . #dogtoremilytobe #vetstudent #vetmed #almostdoctor #61days #lastcase #emilyout #uiucvetmed (at University of Illinois College of Veterinary Medicine) https://www.instagram.com/p/B9w_mQQlKPL/?igshid=1epf65z0nt7q2

[allthingsinfectious]

Wrinkles in my well loved bed. #nightynight #nearlymd #almostdoctor #subinternship #day9of31 (at Chicago, Illinois)

[allthingsinfectious]

Different side. #latergram #subinternship #nearlymd #almostdoctor #day7of31 (at West Side, Chicago)

[allthingsinfectious]

Long days. #almostdoctor #nearlymd #subintern #day2of31 #iraglass (at Chicago, Illinois)

[restauratricedanime]

Hello Sweetie. #almostdoctor #riversong #doctorwho #tesi #limed #bluetardis #whovian #whovianandproud #superproud #mybaby

[girlchildinafrica]

my first ever stethoscope ! raspeberry littman classic ll s.e with gold sunshine eartubes and a rainbow chestpiece :) #medstudent #stethoscope #raspberry #almostdoctor #gold #rainbow #awesome #medschool #paediatric #cardiac #surgeon #medschoolgunning #soexcited #happy #omg #capetown #southafrica #matie

[zuwatisbubbles]

Cycle of Nerves.

"Give me gist", Momma says.

"Tell me what's been happening with you." "Seems like I'm the only one always telling you interesting things." She adds. 

"Nothing's happening. I just have to go through the 60 journals I've been asked to read. Shuffling between home, school and the store for food is all I do." I respond. 

It's the same every time. Before she goes on to tell me some interesting story about one or more of her estranged siblings. While I'm on the other end of the line hmmm-ing or rolling over from laughing so hard.  

If I ever told her that I cry sometimes. Simply because I'm scared I'm in the wrong place, she wouldn't understand or agree with me. She has her own sometimes interesting, other times infuriating ideas about everything. She would try to talk me out of my feelings and say that I need to look at the big picture. I know she only wants the best for me.

INDEPENDENCE. Hell! I want that too. 

However, what happens to the nagging feeling? The reminder that things could be entirely different. Better? 

I want more. I crave excitement, maybe a bit of drama too. 

But hey! Careful what you wish for, no?

I am excited at the prospects of getting my doctorate in a couple of years, not forgetting that it's going to take a lot of work. I don't know that I am willing or ready for that level of stress. 

Then again, I've come so far. Achieved a lot. So much that I forget how proud I ought to be of myself until she reminds me. 

And I'm back where I started. I can handle it. I always find a way around these things.