After over a month of being weirdly unwilling to look at source code, I had a possible breakthrough today: while testing a new alpha version of JMonkeyEngine, I ran one of my old apps and it crashed unexpectedly. (Tbh, I rarely *expect* my apps to crash.)
I dutifully filed an issue at GitHub, and in the process got curious about what had triggered the crash. It turned out to be an old bug, not a regression. Before I knew it, I dug into the source code, identified the root cause, and coded a possible fix.
The bug is in old code that's seldom used, so not very important in itself. The exciting news is that it got me looking at (and writing) code again. And it wasn't painful or weird or anything. So maybe my weird malady is gradually coming to an end.