You don't really notice how autistic you are when you're trapped in someone's basement. ...Or before that, I guess, when I was a chronically-online hermit. But I'm weirdly good at it? Guess it comes from kissing up to Strade to stay alive, maybe. Or I've just always been a people-pleaser. But masking at work is easier for me than some of the others. Smiling, making nice with customers while inside wanting to rip my skin off at the feel of their voices on my skin. Faking it to make it.
I miss my ears. The body can move our ears each independently of the other which is nice, it helps, but isn't the same.
...And of course some random person screams at me out their car window as they speed by. I hate that I can't keep my body from reacting, from flinching. I understand why it happens but it still sucks. Some of the others can keep the body still, keep walking like we didn't hear them. Just wish I could too. Least I' almost back to the room now. I dunno why I wanted to write this out.