#alwaysadri1

[alwaysadri1]

I love you

I’m scared

You fell asleep and i went through your phone

When i ask you will you deny it?

Long lost exs

I can’t fathom those texts

I’ve been cherishing this love

And i don’t think you care

Maybe this is more than i can bare

Together or not

It hurts

Maybe I’ll be the villain because i saw it on your phone

I fought silent battles

Are you going to go and tattle

[alwaysadri1]

I hide it all

And share too much

My heart has the zoomies

But only for you

You were my religion

And now you’re an unholy ghost

Begged and bargained

Even after all the charades

This time to forget

Let it all go

Leaving on her tippy toes

Taking the facade

Focused on loyalty

Never from you

[alwaysadri1]

Their words haunt my thoughts

All i see is slithering shame

My name lies in the dirt

It was never a relationship

Can’t be in two

This is your karma

You’ve done this to yourself

Never been so depressed

Am i even existing?

Left to die in this room

Shared spaces

Saving faces

[alwaysadri1]

You’re an unstoppable bane of existence

Lightning bugs glow

Hidden in cars

The forbidden lives inside the lost

Burying the fate

When you told me to knock on heavens gate

Your paintings were all reused but i didn’t know you would never put me in your portrait

You told me we would end up together

Saw me in your future

Ultimatums faded with every sorry

We kept making love stories

Never kept the date of what could be

Constant doubts of you and me

A bigger hit with every doubt

Our setting wasn’t right for a marriage

Because you were pushing baby carriages with someone else

Locking me in the dark

Leading me on in such a foolish way

I forgave you each time for the magnetic vacation

You would have sold me off to mark

Dropping me off at the train station you didn’t pick me up from

Canceled hotel reservations

Revealed the biggest lie weeks before

That was almost when you tore my heart completely

You still had a few wounds left to fix

Mixing up a few more potions to hurt me

Seasons fade crackling cold and sizzling summers

New states but there were still heartbreaks

The day after 25 i couldn’t take your slithering vibe

I got drunk and revealed all my truths

So much vulnerability

The game you played left me with so much shame

The pain was unbearable

Even after i still cared

[alwaysadri1]

Met you and felt a glow

Maybe we could just flow in a forbidden orbit

Dark hair

Septum in your nose

Maybe some tattoos

I would love to know

Checking for your light

Did you make it home safe

Sometimes i walk my dog in hopes of running into you

You knocked on my door

And i hope it’s from you

Just maybe you felt it too

[alwaysadri1]

Your ghost never found its way into my apartment

I know it stung when i found someone new

He took me on a trip to Palm Springs

Leaving behind our tangled strings

I moved past the wreckage

Not even giving it a second more

You thought those words would hurt

It only showed who you really were

Honesty isn’t in your blood line

You were already buried in my backyard

No more summer chances i was securely fastened into his dances

I didn’t know death rattled that’s why i stayed so long

I couldn’t hear the rattle through all your lies

The rattle aged with me

He appeared and six months later there was color in my face again

[alwaysadri1]

I forgot what being in love felt like. It’s been a long time. I talked to some guys but they didn’t go anywhere. I just need you here. Can you blame me? You’re my favorite drug. I want your initial around my neck. I think we’re doing this right. You’ve got me in sight. What if all i need is us? You give me butterflies and i see us when i look at the sky.

[alwaysadri1]

I want to shout from the rooftops that you are mine, but you aren’t. You have commitment issues and won’t discuss them with me. You come over everyday and say i miss you. We aren’t seeing other people but im falling in love with you. I don’t want you to do this to me.