“Alright, so a space werewolf, a Roman Catholic Cardinal, and a Decepticon Communications Officer all walk into a bar...”
New art meme idea for cool kids, from a cool kid (me). Draw your OC, (or AU design, or fursona, etc.) with characters that inspired their design or that you associate with them.
On the left is @bettsplendens’s Alzu, the flirty space werewolf? mercenary? (no one really knows what he is or what he does for a living). His expression and coloration are based off an Italian Wolf, and I mostly played his design by the ear (his should be longer) as he doesn’t really have a fixed design that I know of. He’s a charming and sweet dude with far too many teeth.
Center is my own design for Soundwave from Transformers Prime as a canine, A.K.A. Soundsnoot. He is mostly Belgian Groenendael with a whole mess of sighthound breeds mixed in. He is my best boy and the love of my life and so much fun to draw~! Sometimes he and Alzu’s paths cross and they go on dates, but he mostly sticks to himself and observes whatever’s going on at the moment.
On the right is @canisalbus‘s Machete. Boy howdy was this dude a big influence on the design of Soundsnoot. What an icon. I have no words for just how beautiful this man is. Also how much of a neurotic trash fire of a person he is. That too. In the (paraphrased) words of his creator, “Machete should not be in charge of anything, but someone put him there”.
Better stop flirting with the pretty sighthounds and put some pants on at least, Alzu, you godless heathen. Soundsnoot doesn’t mind, but Cardinal Machete might turn you over to the Inquisition where even you can’t charm your way out of.
Alzu gets drunk. And chatty. No warnings for anything other than drunkenness and Alzu being slightly lewd.
“Yer tasty.”
Almul was reasonably certain that they were, in fact, not tasty. Alzu’s approval was probably at least mostly due to the fact that he was drunk. Very drunk, evidently, and gnawing lightly on Almul’s helm. Which was confusing, and kind of hot and damp, but not really objectionable. Almost cute, actually, and-
Almul squeaked lightly as Alzu licked at their face, then sighed and leaned away slightly, staring up at their lap full of Lyca. Okay, definitely cute. But- maybe not good for public? Almul hadn’t seen Alzu drunk before, they weren’t certain if he was going to get loud or otherwise troublesome, so it was probably a good plan to leave. Good thing Alzu was already all gathered up- all that Almul had to do was wrap their arms more securely around him, supporting his butt (which was made difficult by that rapidly wagging tail) and holding his lithe frame close so he couldn’t fall off. Alzu was obliging enough, content to lean his head over Almul’s shoulder and nibble on various parts of his back, so all Almul had to do was start walking. The benefits of having paid for one’s alcohol in advance.
Once outside the bar, Almul shifted Alzu up a bit higher, slinging him over one shoulder for easier carrying, and warbled in complaint when Alzu started to gnaw on their cape. Not that it hurt, they just didn’t like the tugging sensation very much, and they could do without drool inside the material. Or drool anywhere, but at least on the outside of them it was easy to clean off.
Alzu gnawed lightly at various parts of Almul for most of the walk, chewing on their shoulder for the most part, and occasionally paused the chewing to aim a saucy grin at anyone who caught his attention. Also things like “hey, gorgeous, you’n’me’n that hot stuff next t’ ya” now and then, most of which was ignored. Someone did take the opportunity to smack Alzu’s rear as they walked by, but Almul recognized them as someone Alzu had played with before, so they just chirped in response. That wasn’t a threat- not with someone who knew that Alzu enjoyed that sort of thing. Which he clearly did, as his response to the smack was an even wider grin and a short bark.
Almul didn’t stop for interactions, though, they wanted to get to someplace quiet. Just in case Alzu got feisty in one way or another. Because- what was Alzu going to do? Flirt with everyone more thoroughly and then seduce someone into bed? Alzu didn’t like when drunk people were being hit on, and Almul had some understanding of why, so… probably shouldn’t let Alzu hit on people further than comments. And, hm- drunk people lost their inhibitions, right? What if Alzu decided to start grinding on Almul? Because Almul wouldn’t really mind that, in fact it would probably be enjoyable, but it didn’t seem appropriate for anywhere in public.
Once they were in private, that changed. A quiet patch of woodland, out of easy earshot of everyone- this would work. Chirruping softly, Almul set Alzu down and sat down next to him, waiting to see what would happen- and was immediately pounced on again.
Yep, they’d expected this. All right, fine by them, might be interest-
No grinding? Also interesting, though a different kind. What was Alzu up to, then, if not-
Puzzled, Almul wriggled until they got comfortable on their back, chirping occasionally in gentle protest if Alzu stepped too hard on any particular spot. So… what was he up to?
Alzu shifted around for a minute or two, trying to get comfortable, then flopped gently against Almul’s side and propped himself up enough to grin down at the other. “Yer cute. Real cute, know that? Lookit- cutie. Cutie li’l. Yeeeah- cute. Lemme nuzz’l.” he muttered, then attempted to nuzzle at Almul’s face. Since Almul had more empty space than face at the moment, it didn’t do much- he just ended up with part of his face inside Almul’s helm, which earned a pouty whine and a sulky expression. Which was rather hard for Almul to see until they pushed Alzu’s face away.
Cute?
Almul murred softly, intrigued, but dismissed the comment. Alzu was drunk, after all, and drunk people said silly things. And they really had no complaints about their appearance, but they weren’t cute. You couldn’t be cute without a face. Also, they were made of metal and fire, so… not cute, no.
Then again, Alzu had called a dragon cute, so… his standards were different. All the same, Almul shook their helm slightly and chuckled, a visible signal of their dismissal. Nope.
“Yeeeah. Cute cute. An’ yer a smart- learnin’ stuff all good. An’ a strong, yeah- an’ real brave. If I were you, I’d’a wann’ move t’ where there ain’t any humans ever. You? Yer walkin’ ‘roun’ wi’ all th’ humans. Real good, yeah- brave. A good’n.” Alzu purred, tail waving, and kneaded his hands firmly on Almul’s frame as he snuggled into the other’s shoulder. “Yeah… warm. Good’n. Good, good.”
Doing his level best to hug Almul despite them being on the floor, Alzu squirmed happily and pushed his face into Almul’s frame, gradually settling against them until he could get comfortable lying still. “How of’n’m I gonn’ have t’ say tha’? I wan’ y’ t’ hear.”
Oh, well- they weren’t so sure about all that. The first couple of points, maybe, but- brave? No, that was silly. They kept having nightmares, for goodness’ sake, had still barely gotten over that happening often. Yeah, definitely drunk talk. It… felt nice, though, even if… a lot of it might not really be true. Heh.
Okay, they could… they could enjoy this, as much as they would get of it, right? No harm. Just… talk, that was all. Just… talk.
Alzu must have noticed their disbelief, though, because he grumbled softly before bapping Almul lightly in the helm with one hand. “Hey. Yer a good’n. Brave’n good. Shoosh’n, you. Shoosh. You a good. An’ I got no- no words, bu’ you a good. Y’ hear’n? Yeah.”
Clumsily attempting to gather Almul’s entire frame into his arms, Alzu snuggled up close and purred, nuzzling into their throat as much as he could with such a long snout. “Good’n. You’s a good, Almul. Yah. Good’n. Lookit- I luv ya, hear? Yeah- luv ya. Sweet li’l. All cudd’l.”
…what? Yeah, okay, Alzu was- was very drunk, and-
And still talking, not giving Almul any time to think, to dismiss anything-
“Good’n warm, a li’l sweet’n. I gotcha. Good’n, luv ya. An’ I- lookit, ah’m drunk. So you- you ‘mind me, an’ then ‘ll tell y’ again, yeah?” Alzu murred, then opened his mouth and fit it lightly around Almul’s throat before slowly moving up to grip their helm. Shaking his head slowly back and forth, he rocked Almul’s helm in a gentle, affectionate, very drooly gesture, then finally let go and settled again. “Good ‘un.”
Oh.
Almul’s hands skittered uncertainly across Alzu’s back, then they wrapped their arms around him and hugged, tight, staring up at-
Okay, so he was drunk, but he sounded sincere. Looked it, too. Ears up, eyes wide, tail waving, not giving any sign that he was lying or- or anything.
Goodness.
Alzu meant that. All of it.
What… what were they supposed to do with that?
Almul had… absolutely no idea. Less than no idea. So they just… didn’t do anything, not really, other than staring at Alzu. For… probably two minutes, at least, during which time he got comfy and started to doze off.
Eventually, Almul raised one hand and stroked down Alzu’s head, then curled fully into him and snuggled into his throat. Chirping quiet sounds, they stroked his back and sides, as much as they could reach, trying to figure out the odd fluttering in their chest that was not coming from any part of them, then…
They couldn’t speak. Never had been able to, as far as they knew. But… they could try some other things.
They didn’t know exactly where Alzu’s heart was, but they put their hand firmly over what was probably about the right spot, squeezing gently at the thick fur there, and crooned the most affectionate sound they could manage with a throat made of metal shards.
Alzu and Almul inspect a corpse, Almul takes out some frustration on said corpse. Warning: messy. Descriptions of a corpse being messily taken apart and inspected. Also- it’s not technically cannibalism because they aren’t the same species, but Alzu is an opportunistic carnivore faced with a body made of meat. His response is unsurprising.
“What- you wanna know why that works?”
Alzu kicked lightly at the corpse of someone who had formerly been a rather nasty rapist, turning the body over to look down at the severely burned face. “Yeah, actually- not a bad question. See- clearly dead, but you only burned ‘is face. Got all choke-y, though. Bet he couldn’t breathe, but- yeah, might as well, let’s figure ‘er out. Gonn’ make a mess o’ the guy anyway, may as well learn.”
Hefting the corpse, Alzu tossed it over one shoulder and set off, tail wagging slightly as he watched Almul following. Almul got an energy boost from being near something that was dying, so they were now trotting happily, almost seeming to whistle as thin lines of smoke wafted up from their frame. If Alzu were to open Almul’s chest, their life-flame would be visible and burning bright.
Once they were well away from the road, Alzu dropped the corpse and pulled a large hunting knife from its spot alongside his pack, crouching to inspect it. “A’ight- let’s see if I can open this wi’out makin’ a mess.”
Almul sat down nearby and rested both hands on the ground, watching intently as fragile human hide parted under the knife, and didn’t bother trying to hide their satisfaction at the noise it made. Ugh- smooth skin. They had nothing against humans, really, but the squishy things still had such an awful texture. And, after so long feeling that inside them, unable to see properly or focus on anything else, there was something viscerally satisfying about watching-
Wait, now… it didn’t have to just be watching. Rumbling softly, Almul reached out with one hand and slowly dragged it down the man’s leg, watching the cloth part, then repeated the motion- this time tearing through skin. And he was right- it was satisfying. So very, very satisfying. Enough that he repeated the motion, then again- with both hands this time, clawtips sharp as possible, ripping pale skin to shreds. Then further through skin, into and through muscle, shredding in further until the still blood started to cake their hands-
“Woah, hey- Almul, you wanna mess ‘im up, I got no complaints, bu’ you might be gettin’ kinda- hey now, easy, shh. Catharsis is all well an’ good, jus’ no good makin’ yerself more upset while ya do it. Easy- shift t’ th’ other leg now, gonn’ get blood all up in yer hands. Yeah? There we go.” Alzu purred, pausing in his careful parting of the skin and muscle to watch Almul for a moment. “Tha’s better.”
He had to crack the ribcage rather carefully to get to the lungs intact, but it worked, though he had to pull a few large chunks of rib out. And, of course, pop them into his mouth to chew on. “Now-“ *crunch* “-what we have here arrrre- lookit, tha’s a heart, you know ‘bout them. Now, these’re lungs. You also know ‘bout them, yeah? We got heart here- pushes blood ‘round. Lungs, they get air in ‘em. People really need air in ‘em or they die, you figured tha’ out. This, here- diaphragm. Real strong hunk o’ muscle. This- pretty sure it pulls down an’ helps open th’ lungs. Ain’t no good for eatin’, not bad fer jus’ chewin’ on. Anyway- lungs. They got air in ‘em. All th’ way up- that’s th’ windpipe. Gonn’ cut that through, an’-“
A few deft cuts and nicks with his claws, and he lifted the lungs out of the human’s chest, splaying them grotesquely across the relatively intact stomach. The hunting knife, next- slicing down the windpipe, then into and across one of the lungs. When he spread them open, thick burns were revealed all down the windpipe and into the lungs, scorching them almost beyond recognition. “Well. There’s yer problem.”
Pausing to point out the issue, Alzu aimed a tongue-lolling grin at Almul, prodding at a particularly bad spot. “Lookit this mess, Almul- that ain’t good! Okay, look- I dunno how lungs really work, but I doubt they can do it when they’re all burnt up. Tha’s why ‘e’s dead. You gotta have lungs t’ be a workin’ human, an’ they gotta work, an’ you made ‘is lungs not work. Nasty. But- mmph-“
Clearly he had to see what those tasted like. And they fit in his mouth in two nice bites.
“-like a lotta nasty things, tasty.”
Almul had mostly been ignoring Alzu’s work in favor of clawing up the corpse’s other leg, stripping long ribbons of skin free and hissing in satisfaction with every long stroke, but they stopped to look the organ over before Alzu, once again, ate their anatomy lesson. Chirping quietly, they shook their head and flicked both hands, peeling loose the bits of gore, and leaned over to look down at the exposed organs. Humans were complicated. What did all this do, again? They only knew about the bits that could make someone dead if you damaged them right. So, making the noise that they’d established with Alzu as meaning “please explain”, they indicated something that was in the “this will eventually kill someone but not right away” section, wanting to know what some of those things did.
“Wha? Ah- let’s see. Okay. That, there, tha’s a liver. Real tasty, lotsa meaty flavor. Not certain wha’ it does, bu’ I know people who drink a lot got real messed-up ones, an’ there’s some diseases that’ll do it. Makes people ge’ yellow eyes, an’ they get real sick when they got messed-up livers, so I think it does somethin’ like blood-cleanin’? Now- this, in here, dunno. Uh- tha’ thing? Tha’s a kidney. Lookit- you follow th’ string down, goes t’ the bladder. Tha’s where piss stays. I figure kidneys’re wha’ make it. Dunno why, sorry, y’d need a doctor. Uh- you punch someone in their back, o’r th’ kidneys, they start screamin’. Don’ taste good, either. Now- I am gonn’ eat this liver.”
Alzu then proceeded to eat the liver, tail wagging vigorously, before just driving both hands into the corpse’s innards and ripping. Standard contract deal- make a horrific mess of someone’s innards, hang them up as a warning, write whatever they did on something nearby.
In this case, a cliff.
Almul sat back and watched, fascinated as always by the way flesh tore under proper force, and kneaded their claws in the leaf litter to clean the worst of the blood away. As Alzu continued to work, they edged over and grabbed the pack, pulling out a length of rope, and fastened it around the corpse’s ankles. The knot was not neat, they were still learning how all that worked, but it held well enough, and they had the end of the rope in their hands as Alzu stood up.
“Yeah- there we go, yer learnin’ how ta make knots.” Alzu declared, tail waving a bit harder, and hoisted the corpse in both hands so that the end of the rope could be tossed over the branch. A quick pull and another knot later, and the corpse was suspended from the tree by both ankles and one arm- thoroughly undignified, plus it showed off all the damage. Alzu padded over to the cliff nearby for just long enough to paint “RAPIST” in messy letters across it, using the blood all over his hands, then shook himself and scooped the pack up as he padded away. “Startin’ ta leak gut contents everywhere. C’mon- let’s get a river.”
Churring in agreement, Almul followed Alzu and snagged a cloth from the pack to clean their hands off, quiet and satisfied. Okay. That… that had felt nice.
Maybe they could do this with the next target. It wasn’t as if the average rapist deserved any respect, after all- might as well use them for something helpful.
Slightly over a thousand words of Alzu waking up with a boner and using it as a teaching opportunity for a living suit of armor. No warnings, there’s just a werewolf jerking off for an audience of one. A knot is present but is not put to proper use due to lack of somewhere to put it.
I don’t know, it’s past midnight and I thought this might be cute.
“Nnh- hm, eh, Almul. ‘Lo. ‘s up?”
Alzu panted a lazy grin up at the suit of armor sitting on his legs, head lolling to the side, then blinked and glanced down at his crotch. “Ah. ‘s me. I’m up.” He cackled, tail wagging absently as he got a look at his own crotch, and glanced up at Almul after a moment. “Eh- oh, right. Ya ain’t got tha’, wouldn’- yeah, m’kay, y’ wann’ see?”
Almul had already been tugging on Alzu’s waistband with a clawtip, and they responded to the question by nodding and pulling a bit harder. Clearly, something was going on, and they wanted to know what. There was, what- okay, right, people had things in their pants, but- this was something a bit more than usual, wasn’t it?
“Yeah- a’ight. ‘ere- okay. So- I tol’ ya ‘bout masturbatin’, yeah? M’kay- that iiis-“
Alzu wriggled around until he was comfortable on his back again, now with Almul sitting between his legs, and worked his shorts down off of his hips until Almul could see properly. “Yeah. Tha’ is wha’ we call an erection. Mos’ people jus’ say ‘boner’, though, slang term’n’all. So- ‘ere. Real careful, ya got sharp bits, bu’ touch.”
Well.
Almul tilted their head to the side, slowly reaching out with one hand, and pressed the side of their finger against the tip of Alzu’s shaft- trying to touch without bringing any sharp bits too close. They didn’t like the texture, though, and withdrew with an unhappy squawk of metal on metal. Too smooth, no thank you- too much like the sort of skin they didn’t like.
“Ah, eh- yeah, ‘s all- ain’t got fur there. Sorry. Bu’, tha’ aside- ya wanna demonstration? Yeah?” Alzu rumbled, tail thumping happily, and slowly wrapped a hand around his cock. He’d explained sex to Almul earlier, as much as possible without overwhelming them, but- nothing better than a practical demonstration. “M’kay. So- sometimes this ‘appens. People wi’ bits jus’ wake up wi’ their bits goin’. Sometimes it’s cos’a sexy dreams, sometimes cos’a nothin’. Me, t’day, nothin’. Jus’woke up like this. Sit back- ya watch.”
Hey, he didn’t have anything to do right now, he could indulge. Especially since it would be educational for his very curious friend.
Tail waving softly, Alzu grinned up at Almul, offering a good look at his body language, then ran a fingertip softly over the six narrow slits at the very tip of his cock. “Now… these’re only on th’ Lyca. Lookit- drip slick stuff, see? ‘Cos it ain’t any fun I’ everythin’s dry, y’gotta have slippery, so. ‘s usually th’ females o’ whatever species tha’ got the slippery, bu’ Lyca, ‘s both. So- rub m’self real soft an’ gentle ‘till th’ drippin’ gets down further, rub th’ slick ‘round a bit. Then, mmr- then th’ fun happens.”
Alzu stroked lightly at his own length for a minute or two, enough time to demonstrate that the dripping from the slits increased greatly as his arousal built, then quickly slid a hand around himself to spread the lube before squeezing around his shaft.
Intrigued, Almul settled a bit to watch, listening intently as Alzu’s breathing sped up. It almost sounded like distress, but Alzu had his tongue lolling and the rest of his face relaxed, so he clearly wasn’t upset or in pain. Excited, then. Which fit, from what they’d been told about how this sort of thing worked. But- the fluid was interesting. Not a good texture, but- good to look at. Shiny. Shame it was more like skin than Almul liked, or they would have been much more interested in touching.
As Alzu’s breathing sped further, Almul leaned in further to watch until they were just about looking down at him, watching his hands and the shiny fluid between his fingers. Interesting sight, very interesting sounds- quiet moans, whines, noises they’d never heard from Alzu before.
Alzu didn’t bother to take his time once he saw that Almul was fully intrigued. He rocked his hips nice and slowly, thrust up into his hand, paused to rub around the tip of his cock now and then, and that was it. As his arousal built, he added in the occasional squeeze around his knot, tilting his head to look up at his companion. “Yeah- th’ knot’s made t’ lock in, so- only does its thing if th’ dick thinks there’s somethin’ ‘round all o’ it tha’s worth knottin’ in. Gotta –hhah- fool ‘im.”
Hindpaws twitching lightly, Alzu aimed a happy grin up at his observer, shamelessly showing himself off.
When he came, it was with a soft, panting whine, tail thumping furiously on the ground, and he tightened one hand firmly around his knot.
He was awake now, and it was a very nice awakening.
Almul chirped quietly in interest and reached, rubbing a fingertip through the silvery fluid spattered lightly up Alzu’s stomach, then lifted that hand to taste. Interesting. And- the sounds, also interesting. Really, this whole thing was very interesting, and they rather wanted to see what happened when two people got up to this sort of thing. It wasn’t as if Almul could get involved. Nor did they want to, urgh. fluids everywhere and fur-less bits, but maybe they could watch? Did people do that sometimes?
Alzu propped himself up on his elbows for long enough to lick his own stomach clean, “Yeah- c’mere. Now ‘s f’ warm.” Alzu declared, reaching up to pull Almul down for snuggles, then grinned and glanced down at himself. “Lookit. Usually- th’ whole thing goes back all soft, like here, bu’ I got a knot an’ that part stays all hard f’ awhile. Tha’ expands, see? Wants t’ be locked inside. So- gotta sit f’ a li’l while, be comfy, ‘cos pants ain’t gonna fit real good yet.”
Okay. Almul allowed themselves to be pulled down to cuddle alongside Alzu, happy to share the warmth of their life-flame, and slowly reached to touch again- this time on the knot. Now that they were prepared, it wasn’t actually as bad as they had thought at first. Strange, slick, but hard underneath and not quite the texture of skin. Not that they were going to get grabby, these parts were delicate and Almul was not made for delicate. So they settled in, flopped on top of Alzu, and relaxed, resigning themselves to a bit more rest before Alzu wanted to get up and eat something.
been really into making a scifi story recently. it inspired me to draw for the first time in like a year or smth. hi. alzu species. basically unicorn aliens. individual frames under read more
My first time stop at #Alzu Petroport N4 on my trip to #krugerNationalPark and what a lovely view from the top of the hill! #TheLifesWay #Photoyatra #Johannesburg #SouthAfrica #AashishRaiJain #Blogger #vLogger #WalkingwithCamera #photographerwithpassion #instagrammer #7yearsofthelifesway #BlogAnniversary #7thanniversary #TheLifesWayTravels #TheLifesWayReviews #AndroidLover #SmartphoneCamera #mobilePhotography #Clouds #Naturelover #WalkingLover #Funwithfriends #WeekendTrip (at ALZU Petroport N4) https://www.instagram.com/p/B7bTv-rJRTs/?igshid=2uplj5t8wh3y
This area, in general, came recommended by the sister’s friends for a stop on our way back to Jozi.
Having had dined at Nando’s the previous night, the husband took the call to eat at The Waffle Cafe instead. Those two looked like the only places with vegetarian options.
Funnily enough, nobody was as hungry or didn’t care to eat, so we shared two waffles, one savoury and one sweet, two milkshakes.
