Last week was the worst day of my life. I had never felt so disrespected than last Tuesday. I was hurt, neglected, left alone, and I broke down and cried in front of everyone. My snot ran down my face as I continued to cry. I was embarrassed as the people stared at me, but at the same time I didn't care. All I cared about at that moment was that I was hurt. I'm still hurt because of it even today. I'm hurt to the point I fear Tuesdays the most now. I wonder if I can ever recover from this. My mood is not well. My life is not well. Even my outside environment is not well. I know that for such a weak person, I am strong. Sometimes I think to myself, "why haven't I given up yet despite everything that has happened to me", and rather think that I am too weak to end myself, I think that I am too strong to end myself. Although my heart hurts, although my mind is weary, my body and such has gone into "auto-drive" and is dragging me by the foot to get me through life as if to say, "I know things are tough for you, but I am here for you to help you move through life while you face these hardships. You can do this." . . . And I want to thank myself so badly for being able to pull me along when I really just want to sleep in bed all day and do nothing. That is why I am strong. For such a weak person, I am strong. Now. . . Regarding M. I now know you read my diary. It was a possibility that I accepted when I first made my blog public, so this you actually reading it did not come off as a surprise to me. I am fine with that, but to say this blog is filled with hateful content towards you is wrong. This blog is filled with my thoughts about my recovery and strength. In fact, there is only one post in which I truly express briefly my disscontempt for you. Please do not take my safe haven and make it out to be a hate blog. This is my diary to which I openly allowed anyone to view.