⏳ ⏳ ⏳
For every “⏳” I receive, my muse will openly talk about a bit of their backstory.
“I don’t know what you want me to tell you. I don’t have some sad, sobby backstory that’s going to make you feel bad for me. And I don’t know what you already know, that I wouldn’t want you to know. So, fuck me, I guess?”
“I got really lucky finding this body. I’d taken over this shut in’s life before, and I just, I couldn’t go back there. I - ah, fuck - the phrase I liked that was I’d been gestating a little something, and it didn’t work out. Like, I had everything all set up and ready, I had a name ready, but, I don’t know. I’m just ... incapable of creating new life - but somehow I was able to grow something inside of me for months, and I had the full experience of feeling and seeing it all come out of me. I just, freaked out. I drove up to Whale Pond, and just kind of... found a nice spot in the woods to bury everything that came out. I just, wanted her to be somewhere beautiful and peaceful. I just feel bad, that I couldn’t keep her in me as long as she needed to be in there. And I’m mad. Mostly at myself, but at everyone else, because everyone else gets to fuck and make babies like it’s nothing, and I can’t even get one.”
“I’m not forgetting Abezethibou. I could never do that. Trust me, I’ve tried. I know he’s not technically mine by blood, but at a certain point, it doesn’t matter. I know Agrat went around telling everyone he was mine, so that’s good enough. I still don’t appreciate being her little backup plan for when she was tired of playing Mommy, but that shouldn’t be a surprise for anyone who has spent more than half an hour with her. Absolutely no sense of responsibility. I’m not going to air all the dirty laundry I have, but she left me with a really emotionally stunted kid, because she has no actual ability to connect with anyone above a superficial level, and she thought a baby was some kind of accessory or attention-gimmick.”
“And that’s my beef with her. You fucked up a perfectly good kid, and you don’t even care? I had to tell her he was gone, and all I get is a little ‘Oh.’ Oh, you know what else she said ‘I thought you would have done a better job’. And honestly, I should have been allowed to kill her for that, and whoever pried me off of her should be fired.”
“Anyway, where did I start? This body? Lucia is still here. I hear her sometimes. Been a lot quieter since I killed her boyfriend. She used to have enough fight in her to get the arm back and try to choke me, but that jokes on her. That’s just arousing. She really hates me dying her hair, and I can’t wait to hear her freak out when I get her stupid tattoos covered up. I’m just thinking ‘what’s going to upset her that’s also really ‘me’?’ And that’s what’s taken so long.”
