BEE WHAT OTHER 16 HAUNTED ITEMS DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR DOMICILE?????
there are a lot bc the gravel road i live on is, like, as i’ve shared on this blog before, objectively haunted.
here’s a short list, in no particular order, of haunted items in my home:
ventriloquist dummy, clearly made before either of my parents were born. we just found it in the basement one day, and we were like, yeah, sure, that sounds about fucking right
the entire basement bathroom gives off such an aura that my chronic-pained, constantly lazy self, will fucking run up a flight of stairs to Not Use It. i think i’ve seen god in that bathroom. it wasn’t fun.
plastic blue bowl in my grandmother’s room gives off an energy i don’t trust
el toro of love -- an animatronic toy valentine’s day present from february 14th, 2007. has spoken only in static since february 15th, 2007. he spoke fine on the 14th, though
roulette table in my dad’s office where the ball has been stuck at 17 for 6 years
toy woodpecker. we don’t know where we got it. the dog found it, somewhere, and absolutely 100% believes it is a real bird. treats it like it’s a new, fresh bird every time. current theory: multiple bird ghosts.
we have 17 non-functioning lightsabers in the guest room.
we have 19 non-functioning lightsabers in the guest room
we have 47 non-fuctioning light sabers in the guest room
(we have given all but two of them to my uncle, because we did know we had amassed so many from my dad’s work events)
super smash bros melee disk that i bought at a record shop that has only ever loaded on thursdays
coffee toffee, my childhood teddy bear, who has seen, uh, some shit
coconut with “L U V” written on it in hot pink. no other decoration
clogs? where did we get child’s clogs?
2008 election themed scratch n’ sniff book (lots of bill clinton jokes) that i can’t find anywhere online
ramones record with a little bit of “free to be you and me” mixed into the middle of blitzkrieg bop
cardboard austin powers (of course)
glossy printed picture of frederic chopin with hearts around his head that my computer recognized at one point as having seven different faces
seven pocket knives, each one older and harder to source than the last