#amienough

[themanicroom]

I feel jealousy over characters in movies, books, and tv shows. I know it's not real, it's a script, but damn.

I have always been the hopeless romantic in my relationships.

I just for once, want to be spoiled by a surprise trip, a cute little thing from the store that made them think of me, a conversation about goals in life, some sort of evidence that they want to build and invest in our future.

Anything.

[kveiktirinnimer]

Basta poco per essere felici. You are my happiest place. #couple #couplestravel #couplegoals #hands #mountains #collieuganei #parcocollieuganei #veneto #montevenda #inlove #happiness #myperson #hopetobeenough #amienough #iloveyou #cool #peace #🙆 #❤️ #pridemonth (presso Monte Venda) https://www.instagram.com/p/BzWUvIMIqLx/?igshid=he4v6e0xe28m

[onkrispybopper]

So I read the book thief yesterday (and holy shit do I have stuff to say about that /pos)

And uh

I was listening to Tomcat Disposables by will wood

And

My brain went

What if we think about this song as a metaphor for having to hide our Judaism

OKAY GUESS ILL FUCKING CRY AGAIN

And then it went

Yk the line "is there cheese in the Great beyond"? Do that as a metaphor for wondeing if anyone will miss you if you die

Get me out of here I hate is (/j)

WHY DOES MY BRAIN DO THIS WITH SONGS SOMETIMES

[onkrispybopper]

I'm so tired

I told him "I want to help, but I don't want to ask by myself" and he took that as "I dont want to be here anymore" and now he's upset.

I just...

Why don't you listen to what I actually say?

Sure, it doesn't help that I'm not good at talking sometimes, but I never said I wanted to leave.

And now you're upset, and I feel like a horrible person.

I'm sorry

I don't know what I did to be this kind of bad person that makes people upset, but I'm sorry

I didn't mean to do something bad

...

Maybe if I wasnt this person, you would like me better

Because I'm the type to hurt you, even when I don't mean to

Whi can I become to be better?

[onkrispybopper]

...

We're friends still

I got on a call with them

I wanted to do the doomsekkar boss fight in phighting on call

It took me 30 minutes, and I played a bit more after that

They said they had a fun game they wanted to play with me

Or rather, it's a single player game, so they would play and I would watch

...

They played for 4-5 hours

I don't...

It was supposed to be my thing...

I asked them towards the end

"Hey, it's getting late, can I play something?"

They said "sure, after I finish this"

...

They never ended up finishing it before I had to go

...

Why?

Why did you steal the spotlight from me?

You're the one person I can reliably talk to

Why would you do this?

I know it wasnt supposed to make me feel bad but...

It was my thing

Please let me have something

I...

I'm so tired

Is our friendship healthy?

It has to be, right?

At least for Celeste

She always talks about hiw much fun she has talking to you

I thought that if I could do something like that, we could be friends too

But

That didn't happen

You just got distracted, right?

Just got carried away and didn't have a good stopping point, right?

You didnt...

It want to make me feel bad on purpose...

...right?

...

You know I have athazagoraphobia

You know my biggest fear is being ignored/replaced

Why?

Why did you take the spotlight?

Are you going to leave once you realize we don't have the same friendship you do with celsete?

Please dont

It would break her, more than she already is

Why do I bother asking?

Not like you're going to see this anyways

...

Why cant we be friends?

I'm not Celeste

I'm not nearly as socially adept as her

But I have good things about me too!

I like playing games, and mysteries, and stories

I'm pretty good at finding puzzles, or making jokes (I think)

Why don't you like me like you like Celeste?

Why cant you see we're not the same person?

"[Real name]" doesn't exist. There isn't one single "us" to be friends with

...

You texted us while we were writing this

You apologized

...

I said it was alright

Is it?

I'm not sure.

I

I think I may be broken

And no amount of friendship will be enough to fix it

But it's alright

It's not your fault anyways

Not your fault I'm quiet, and blend in with the background

[onkrispybopper]

God, I just...

Everything I get a discord notification I check

Just in case

Hoping

That maybe...

Maybe

It will be you

And it never is

I miss you

[onkrispybopper]

I can still hear your voice

I can still hear our conversations, lauging over the most absurd stuff in class, not caring if we fail

...

I wish I could hear it in person, just one more time

Why am I crying?

I thought I was over it

Guess im not

I miss you

It's only been a few days, and I see you tomorrow, but I miss you

Please don't leave me like this again

I don't think I could take it if you did

[onkrispybopper]

When you feel so alone you make a discord server where you just pretend you have friends and rp a normal discord server-

This is just sad-