Top 5... moments Cas regretted his life decisions. And/Or 5 Pray4Sam / destiel are doing their thing again moments.
(ask me my top 5 anything spn)
1. When he and Dean go after those Gog and Magog guys (I think that’s what they’re called??) in 13x14 and Dean says maybe he got the words wrong in his native language and also won’t stop cracking jokes in this very serious situation.
2. Any time he interacted with Crowley in season 6, both because Crowley is very difficult to deal with but also for more serious reasons of guilt and shame.
3. On that note, when Dean confronts him in 6x20 and begs him to tell him he’s not working with Crowley oh boy this is getting serious, I wanna go back to the jokey examples.
4. When they’re meeting Ishim in that diner in 12x10 and Cas tells Sam and Dean to wait outside and of course they disobey him immediately. You can tell Cas is seriously considering whether it’s possible to divorce to someone he ain’t even married to there.
5. The moment in 5x22 after he throws a Molotov cocktail at Michael and Lucifer is like “Did you just Molotov my brother with holy fire?” and he goes “Uh...... no?” (This leads to him getting immediately exploded to bits so you know what, fair enough).
I'm sure your askbox is flooded, but I did have one 15x13 thing that I'm confused on (and, no, it's not the Impala driving...). If the cosmic entity warding boost was temporary/ineffective/clearly didn't work on Billie (or did it???) And Jack is meant to be hiding out NOT using his powers for fear of Chuck seeing it. And Chuck can look in on the bunker at any time to check to see if Sam and Dean are there/if Sam has a manbun... then why couldn't he see Jack there or see him pull Cas's grace out?
Hi hi! I hope you’re holding up well :)
The ask box it’s too bad, actually. Typical bucklemming >.>
I’m not entirely sure what the cosmic entity warding boost would do. I don’t think it would work on Billie. I mean, reapers can get anywhere. Otherwise people inside the bunker would be effectively immortal. Ooh... the bunker would be like a Faerie Mound... inside humans would be untouched by death, but the moment they ventured outside again... so yeah, I don’t think they can truly bar Death that way.
We were told the warding boost was temporary, but we weren’t told how long it would be for. A day? A month? The rest of the season until the critical moment they dramatically fail? We have to assume they were still active if Cas asked Jack to use his power.
We also know, per Billie in addition to the fact they witnessed the destruction of AU!Sam and Dean’s universe in the opening scene, that Chuck is world-hopping-and-popping at the moment, and not actively focused on *this* universe. We don’t even know if Chuck realized an alternate Sam and Dean slipped out of their world. And the fact they were “trapped between worlds” in the bunker before they used Cas’s grace to open a rift into that between place to pull them out kinda makes me think Chuck missed them...
In the episode, Jack even brought up the point that Chuck isn’t actively paying attention to the still-- after Cas’s escapades in the empty. If anything, I think Chuck would’ve noticed Jack using the Occultum, you know? That... was quite the magical blast (it blew away a couple of Hellhounds in a blast of power). I also think the instant Chuck is done with the other universes, Billie will be on the spot to warn them that Chuck has returned, too.
The show has given us plausible reason for Chuck not keeping a close eye on this universe, for Jack being able to use a minor magical power-- especially one directly connected to the Empty, which is also a dimension we have been told Chuck has no power over, and especially within the cosmically warded bunker (since we have no evidence that that warding has stopped working). And especially when it was Cas’s life force being affected/manipulated, since we know Chuck (and pretty much all the other cosmic entities outside of the Empty) don’t seem to notice Cas at all... He’s our wild card, and the show keeps hammering on that point.
Chuck can look in on the bunker, but I’m not sure he actually is. We’ve seen how he goes all one-track mind once he’s made a plan for himself. Gosh he’s really like Sam this way, isn’t he? He’s decided those other universes don’t spark joy, and is dismantling them one by one. He’s put all his attention into that project, not even realizing the Winchesters (and Jack!) are setting up a plan to use against him yet.
In a lot of ways, what we witnessed in this episode was TFW actively working within the limited number of choices they have available to them. All of their options have potential downfalls, but they also have a priority mission to help Jack prepare to face Chuck. Billie keeps pushing the importance of Jack being ready, the urgency to complete this mission to find the Occultum in this case.
Sam: Let’s go then!Jack: Wait, what if Chuck checks in on us, sees what we’re doing? Isn’t it... pretty much... over?Sam: Yeah, it would be.Dean: Uh, I have a dumb idea... If Chuck comes back to check in on us, he’s gonna look for us here, in the bunker.Sam: We don’t know that.Dean: Well, we don’t not know that.
And yeah, it’s a bit silly, and contrived, but it doesn’t blatantly defy anything that’s already been established. And we know TFW MUST find a way to get the Occultum, which even Billie can’t see the location of. The only person in existence, alive or dead, who even knew the location was apparently Ruby. Why didn’t Cas ask Billie to travel to the Empty and ask Ruby herself? We just don’t know. See... a bit silly and contrived... but thematically still on point in every other way:
Cas and his belief that he must be “useful” at all cost-- which was highlighted with that “I got the info, am I still an idiot?” scene, with Dean frustrated and telling him he sure was... because that’s their core character issue between them and has been all season. It feels like a progression toward understanding between them. But in this case, risking himself to go to the singular place where he personally was most at risk in order to get the information they needed was the choice he made for himself.
Acting on that choice also brought him in direct confrontation with the Empty Entity, confirming that his deal with the empty is still in force, and reminding us of the conditions of the deal-- Cas’s happiness being the trigger
The direct parallel between Cas’s current lack of perfect happiness despite Jack even getting his soul back in this episode-- and Jack finally experiencing the profound suffering of truly feeling what he’d done, the emotional hurt he’d caused the people he cared about most-- but also echoing what Cas once told Sam (lol also in a bucklemming episode, 10.03-- they’re a bit ott and contrived, but heck they’re thematically consistent), that only humans can experience true joy or such profound sadness, and it took Jack having his soul restored to actually feel it, after trying to work through what he was supposed to feel on an intellectual level with Cas earlier in the episode.
The fact that Chuck doesn’t know what’s written in his own book in Billie’s library, the fact that Sam, Dean, and Jack are tied to his fate and Cas still feels like the wild card-- pointed out by the Empty that he’s not part of the plan and yet he keeps coming through with these sorts of things that literally nobody else could’ve chosen to do-- and yet Cas seems to be outside of Chuck’s personal observational radar... Cas was in nearly every image in 15.12 while Chuck went on and on about “Sam and Dean,” and yet didn’t even rate a mention by Chuck, as if Chuck couldn’t even see him sitting there. And I think this is gonna prove to be critical by the end, whether Chuck is simply dismissing Cas as relevant or important, or if he legitimately can’t even see Cas sitting there for some reason. Either way, I think that was the point here. Even when delivered in slightly stumbly bucklemming fashion compared to the subtlety of bobo or meredith or dabb... they are still trying to convey the same advancement of the themes...
Lol, this is why I am willing to backflip through bucklemming canon. If we can get past the moments of wtf, there is actual substance and continuity to be found. I mean, I hate the fact we have to shovel our way through stuff to find the continuity like this, but it is there. Their problem isn’t in the core themes, but in the execution.
And for them, this episode was pretty damn good... Even Mr. Mittens liked it, and was surprised when I told him it was the deadly duo. He was like, “wow for them that was better than usual,” which is honestly a rousing endorsement of the episode overall. :P
natmoose replied to your post “I actually have no idea what’s the plot of The Boys is, but if it’s...”
I am watching it right now and it's definitely quite dark and definitely anti!superhero. It's interesting so far
amirosebooks replied to your post “I actually have no idea what’s the plot of The Boys is, but if it’s...”
It’s super good but definitely check trigger warnings before you dive in
st-eve-barnes replied to your post “I actually have no idea what’s the plot of The Boys is, but if it’s...”
Absolutely loved it! Such a great and different take on the superhero genre, it was quite satisfying to watch after my disappointment with Marvel last year. And Karl Urban as Billy Butcher is everything! :)
👍🏽
Definitely something I’ll need to sink my teeth into, if nothing out of spite ;)
Thoughts on whether Dean and Cas ever get “mistaken” for a couple on a hunt (maybe by an old widow who tells Dean her husband used to look at her the way Cas looks at him) and how Dean would react (if it was just him and said widow/no one to perform for).
They very much do get mistaken for it sometimes. And at first, he just kinda shrugs it off and just says thank you or something vague and change the subject fast or something. But as time has gone on, and it’s happened a little more and more here and there, and it starts to sit in the back of his head and the question forms “why do people keep thinking this”. The comment again comes a couple years later from another older woman who says that same exact line, and it really sticks with him this time. He knew that Cas stared sometimes and it could be awkward but he for the first time wondered what a lovey-dovey couple would look at each other like. The picture in his head matches up with some of the looks he catches Cas in. It freaks him out a little, only sparking some questions about himself that he’s kept pretty pushed down over the years, and he just says “Thank you” as a response to her and walks away. But naturally, as the years went on, in the happenstance that those remarks happened again, he got a little less scared of it and actually developed like a daydream about it. What if they were. What would happen? What if they were two average people living average lives in an average town? He’s not sure when it happened, the switch over to the daydream instead of the panic, but it happened anyway and he couldn’t put it back in the box. And finally, let’s call this post-season 15, when everything’s settled, he’s able to say “Thank you” sincerely because he does know exactly the look the old widow would be talking about because he sees it every morning, afternoon, and night. It isn’t panic, and it isn’t a daydream anymore. Their situation is real and tangible and it makes him happy knowing that even when he’s not paying attention, he’s look at like that. He does the same thing. It’s hard to take your eyes off each other when you finally give yourself permission to look. [doing this thing]
For the ask game: I can picture the scene with Cas's mom on the stairs from la hantise and a bunch of Cas and Dean in the kitchen. I freaking LOVE how you've made the kitchen such an important place for them in this fic as it is in the bunker.
Specifically the scene on the stairs where Dean is having a nightmare and Cas is trying to get to him but... mom.
y e a h that scene was SO vivid in my head so i’m glad it got stuck in your head, too. and... you’re a GENIUS... i didn’t even think of the kitchen that way. but it’s the heart of the home for them because dean made it that way. dang. you’re smarter than i am. :p
what scene do you remember from my fics?la hantise
If you’re still up for prompts: “You’re lucky you’re cute.”
#84 - “You’re lucky you’re cute.”
Cas finds Dean in the garage, his footsteps following the beat of the music currently blasting from the wireless speakers Dean installed a few months ago.
He’s bent in half when Cas rounds the corner, his upper body deep in the trunk of the car. Cas is so busy staring at the strip of Dean’s skin where the back of his shirt has ridden up—and trying his absolute hardest to not let his gaze travel further—that it takes him a moment to figure out what’s wrong with this picture.
“Is that my car?”
Dean smacks his head on the trunk, a string of curses falling from his mouth. “Dammit, Cas. What did I say about creeping up on people?”
Cas wants to say that Dean was too busy shaking his ass and singing his heart out to have heard him whether he’d bothered to announce himself or not. But of course—
“My apologies, Dean. I didn’t mean to startle you.”
Dean waves a hand at him, turning to dig in the toolbox on the bench next to him.
“What are you doing?” Cas asks, the picture of Dean covered in grease, wearing shorts, and bopping his head to the music filtering throughout the room, one that he’s finding hard to process. Dean is in his element here, and Cas almost regrets disturbing him, the happiness radiating off the man both foreign and yet entirely, wholesomely overdue.
“What does it look like I’m doing?”
“It looks like you’re doing your best Danny Zuko impression.”
Dean’s laughter echoes around the garage, and it’s the best thing Cas has heard since he fell.
“Cas, I know I’ve said this before—but don’t ever change.”
Cas rolls his eyes, walking further up to the Continental so he can rest his hip against the door. “I’ll try my hardest not to.”
“Good.”
The word is wrapped in a layer of smug satisfaction that makes Cas’ stomach flip. Shaking it off, he leans down to look at what Dean is doing.
“Is that—”
“You bet your ass it is,” Dean cuts in, glancing up and grinning at him.
Cas stares down at the custom weapons deck Dean is currently installing into the trunk of the Continental. It’s not dissimilar to the one in the Impala, and Cas can already see a hollow that would be perfect for his angel blade. He’d discovered fairly quickly that hiding things up the sleeve of his trenchcoat didn’t work as well as it did back when he still had his Grace. He smiles fondly at the memory—Dean had laughed then, too. But something about Dean’s laughter always fills him with warmth, and somehow he knows that even when Dean is laughing at him, he’s not really laughing at him.
“Why are you doing this?” Cas asks, and Dean blushes, looking away.
“You’re human now, Cas. You can’t rely on your Grace as a weapon anymore. I know Sammy’s been teaching you how to shoot a gun.”
Dean’s hedging, and truthfully, for all his skills as a hunter, and for all the masks he can wear and the lies he can tell, Cas has always been able to tell when he’s keeping something back.
“So why can’t I just keep my gun in the Impala?”
“Because.” Dean sighs, reaching for his phone so he can lower the volume of the music. “You’re a hunter, you’re gonna be hunting with us now.” There’s a pause as Dean looks up at Cas, question in his eyes, and Cas nods hurriedly, baffled that Dean could think for a moment that he would rather be doing anything else. “Right. So. Any hunter worth his weight knows you gotta have a good weapons store hidden in the trunk.”
“Dean, I don’t understand…”
Dean huffs, shutting the trunk with a snap and turning so he can lean back on it. Cas stares at his profile, admiring the lean length of it propped up against his car. Yes, he thinks, soaking it in. This is good.
“I figured since things have calmed down now, what with most of the fallen angels being rounded up, we could take a little road trip. Go find your Grace.” Dean looks hesitant, and Cas aches to reach for him, to tell him how fast his heart is beating at the implication of those words.
“And you’d leave Sam the Impala?” Cas says it like it’s just a small thing, but it’s not, and they both know it.
Dean looks torn, but only for a second, shrugging it off as though he’s already had this conversation with himself at least a few times. “Yeah,” he nods once, sharply, before relaxing into a fond smile. “The damn Moose is way too big for anything the Men of Letters have got stashed in here, anyway.”
Cas lets that sink in for a while, watching as Dean picks up a wrench and starts turning it over in his hands. Evidently the silence is too much for Dean.
“Look. The world isn’t ending—
“For the moment.” Cas cuts in, eyebrow raised and a small smile tugging at his lips.
“—there isn’t some big bad evil after us right now—”
“That we know of.”
“—and yeah, okay, you lost your Grace, but we’ll get it back—”
“So you keep saying.”
“—and—wait, what is that supposed to mean?” Dean whirls to face him, but Cas is too busy biting his lip to hold back his laughter to answer. Apparently Dean’s happiness has been wearing off on him.
Dean chuckles, shaking his head and pointing the wrench at him. “You know, you’re lucky you’re cute, Cas.”
Cas beams.
“You think I’m cute?”
Dean rolls his eyes and pops the trunk back open—weird, meaningful, unexpected conversation apparently over.
“Get outta here, asshole.” Cas turns to leave, making it halfway across the garage with butterflies trembling so hard in his stomach he’s practically bursting with it, this foreign sense of giddiness taking over him. “Oh and Cas?” Cas stops and looks back over his shoulder at Dean leaning with his palms braced on the back of the Lincoln. They stare at each for a moment, Dean’s eyes searching Cas’ face. Whatever he’s looking for, he apparently finds. “You know maybe, maybe we only need to get one room while we’re away.”
Cas’ breath catches in his throat, and he reminds himself that he does actually have to keep breathing now. Dean looks hesitant again, but this time, he keeps Cas’ gaze, a steely determination shining in his eyes.
“I’d like that, Dean.” Cas replies eventually, the words quiet, far quieter than the pounding of his heart, far quieter than the words that are banging against the walls of his head. “I’d like that a lot.”
Dean nods, satisfied. “Good.”
Cas stares at Dean a while longer, wanting to immortalise this moment, praying to a God he lost faith in long ago that Dean will get to continue being this happy. And then, realising that now he can be the one responsible for Dean’s happiness, he turns and leaves the room.
deancaswc: @hamburgergod vs. @amirosebooks
Prompt: “I would be lucky to even have a chance with you.”
Pairing (s): Dean/Cas
Word Count: 1.8k
Rating: General
Tags/Triggers: canon compliant, fluff, jukebox
Summary: Dean learns, with gentle nudging from Cas, to pursue what he wants.
[AO3]
“Aw, sweetheart.” Dean moaned. “God damn, you’re beautiful. I would be lucky to even have a chance with you.”
“Dean,” said Sam. “Stop fondling the glass and let’s go.”
“I am not—”
“You were,” Cas said.
“Wha—No I wasn’t!” Dean gave a tattering huff as Sam and Cas walked away. “Guys, come on!”
Dean wistfully looked back at the beautiful figure of a jukebox displayed at the front of the store, searing her image into his eyes for just a little longer before he hurried to catch up with them.
Dean knew it was Cas that was walking towards him while he himself was under the Impala, giving her a good ol’ tune up. Dude really had to get better looking shoes than those fugly expensive pair of Blundstones.
Cas stopped beside him and nudged one of his legs with a foot. “If you wanted it so much, why didn’t you buy it?”
“Buy what?”
“The jukebox.”
Dean’s hand stalled for a moment. “I mean, where would we even put her? She’s too big.”
“We have enough space in the bunker.”
“Well, who knows whether I could actually set that thing up to work? I could be pouring money down the drain for nothing.”
“I’m sure you’d learn.”
“Jeez, thanks for the vote of confidence.” Dean rolled out from underneath the car and wiped down the wrench he was holding. “We don’t really need a jukebox. We already got a record player and Sam’s shitty ass iPod speakers.”
“Dean. You’re making excuses.”
“I—” Dean flushed. “I’m not! I’m just trying to be realistic here.”
Cas raised an eyebrow with a Look and Dean fidgeted with the wrench in hand, avoiding his piercing all-too-knowing eyes.
“Look, it’s not like I’m actually gonna go out and buy this thing.”
“Why not?”
“Because… Because! You just don’t go out and buy something like that. And it’s not good to have real thoughts like ‘oh where would I put her’ or ‘how many songs could she hold’ or whatever when I’m not even gonna buy her.”
Cas gave him a skeptical look.
“That’s just how humans work,” he added.
Cas narrowed his eyes further but he usually never argued when Dean pulled the ‘humans just do things this way’ card. It was a dick move but Dean just wanted Cas to get off his dick. Figuratively. Obviously.
But for some reason, Cas was just as persistent to see this argument to the end this time around. “Dean, you don’t need to hold yourself back on every thing you want.”
“I’m not!”
“You are. There was the jukebox, then the suit of medieval armour you were fond of, and that food processor that seemed to get you going for a while.”
Dean rubbed his cheek with a sigh only to remember the grease on his hands and grimaced at the tart sticky pull on his face. He had half a mind to joke ‘now look what you’ve done’ but he didn’t say that. He shrugged. Under the buzz of the brightly lit garage lights, there were no secrets he could hide. “It’s just what I’m used to, I guess.”
“To what?”
Dean’s hands were filthy. “When I want something, and I mean really want something, it’s… I try not to think about it too much.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t know. I just never have.” Dean took a daring glance up at Cas. He gulped. “If I think about it too much then my head climbs up and up and up… and I end up with huge expectations. Usually don’t work out so well. My own damn fault,” he said with a tight smile.
Cas’s face fell and along with it, Dean’s heart to his stomach. Why couldn’t Cas ever laugh these things off? Always so god damn sincere. “Dean, you’re still allowed to want things.”
Bold of Cas to say something like that, the pinnacle of what Dean—
Dean waved the thought away, and he was about to wave Cas off with a flippant comment when Cas stepped right into his space just then, close enough for Dean to see the deeper lines on Cas’s face that had developed over the years. He raised a hand over to Dean’s cheek and for that second Dean sucked in a breath and held it, his heart beating in his ears. Cas gently wiped off the grease that was streaked across his face.
“If you ever change your mind,” Cas said ever so softly, “about the jukebox or anything else, I promise I’ll come with you.”
Dean stayed like that, frozen with Cas’s palm warm against his cheek.
“Okay?”
He nodded. “Okay,” he added just for good measures.
Cas flashed a brief smile and he slipped away out of the garage, every step he took against the concrete floor simultaneous with Dean’s heartbeat.
Dean stood there uselessly for a while longer, taking a moment to thumb over the spot on his face.
Still warm.
It took Dean a month or two to think it over, to really think it over and go through every reason on why he shouldn’t buy this jukebox only for Cas’s words to echo back to him. It took him a while longer to actually muster up the courage to knock on Cas’s door. But he did eventually knock on his door, and when he did, Cas was there on his feet, ready to kick back in the passenger seat on their drive to the store where they saw the jukebox.
“Someone probably already bought her,” Dean said mostly to himself on their way over.
“It might still be there,” replied Cas anyway, ever the optimist.
“Dude, did you even see her? She was fucking gorgeous. You’d have to be a fool to pass up on her.”
Cas gave him another Look and this time, Dean couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah, alright. Whatever, dude. I was a fool.”
“At least you know now,” said Cas.
In a way, Dean was sure it didn’t even matter if the jukebox was gone or not. Well, maybe it did, but Dean felt… light. Like he could achieve anything he put his mind to. It was the most free he’d felt in years and the whole drive over to the store, Dean only hoped to god that he wasn’t too late in making this choice.
Maybe Chuck was listening though he doubted it, or maybe the universe was finally granting him one thing in his life that he wanted, but the jukebox was still sitting neatly in the display as if she’d been waiting for him to take her home the whole time. It only took a few minutes and a pair of shaky hands to purchase her, a few more to load her up in the car, and there Dean was, driving back home with something he chose for himself. Not for Sam, not for dad, not even for mom, but just. For him.
“Where will you put it?” Cas asked.
Dean tapped his thumbs on the wheel to no particular rhythm. He grinned. “I have a place in mind.”
Cas helped him to carry her over as Dean explained.
“Sam doesn’t know about this place yet. Actually, you’re the first person in here so hey, welcome to the uh… the Cave. Dean Cave? I still have to work on the name.”
Dean flicked on the lights and stationed the jukebox to the side where she fit in perfectly while Cas looked around the room. Dean didn’t have much in here with only band posters and album covers adoring the walls, but the jukebox made for a pretty sight in the otherwise empty room.
“When did you…?”
Dean shrugged. “I always wanted a room like this, to sort of hang back with a beer and play pool or whatever. It’s not much and I don’t have a lot to fill up the space right now, but I just… went for it anyway. And hey.” Dean chuckled. “Turns out, acting out on what I want is a lot more exciting than just thinking about it.”
Cas smiled all soft and knowing and this time, Dean didn’t ignore the flutter that came from the sight. He did fumble with the quarters but nobody could fault him for that. “Anyway, let’s give ‘er a whirl.”
The previous owner sure had some good taste and Dean recognized a number of songs. He picked whatever first song he was familiar with, which happened to be Entre Nous by Rush. As soon as he plugged the number in, the electric piano and the beats of the drum and the guitar filled the room along with Dean’s heart, and Dean was just glad that they decided to do this whole ordeal while Sam was out.
“Pretty good, right?”
Cas grinned and nodded, walking towards him to peer over his shoulders. “I know that one,” he said, pointing out Ramble On. Dean had put it into Cas’s Zeppelin tape. “Play that one next.”
Dean nodded, his lips so much drier than it was moments ago as he queued up the song. For a while they stood side by side with their shoulders snug against each other, letting the music wash over them. Entre Nous faded away. For all he’d done for it, Dean hoped that the universe was ready to grant him one more thing. “Hey, Cas?”
Cas was so god damn close to his face that Dean could practically count every one of his eyelashes. “Mm?”
“Thanks for... well. You know.” And Dean leaned over and gave him a light kiss on the cheek.
With almost comical timing, Ramble On started playing as Cas slowly turned his head, wide-eyed as he registered what’d just happened and… and a smile spread slowly over his lips and he leaned forward slightly, leaving just enough space for Dean to come forward and accept should he choose.
Dean licked his dry, dry lips, with Robert Plant cooing softly in the background. It was almost time for the chorus.
And this time, with their hand linked over the jukebox, Dean leaned over and kissed Cas properly. Cas’s arm wrapped around his waist and pulled them closer, deepening the kiss with another breath taken between them. Dean only realized he’d closed his eyes when he opened them again, and Cas was grinning at him with his lips red and sweet from their kisses.
“Did that meet your expectations?” Cas asked.
Dean blinked, and huffed even as his face grew hotter to match the shade of Cas’s lips. He nodded, hoping that his grin was as bright as Cas’s. “Yeah,” he said. “Yeah.”
And he was sure, as they kissed again, that the universe had nothing to do with it at all, but it’d been just them all along.
