#amonsasa

[amoneki-ramblings]

In the Amon stays in CCG AU Shironeki will get jealous with Haise because Haise gets to talk/work/eat with Amon and he doesn't??? 😭😭 Guy be sitting in a chair chanting "it should have been me"

WAIT THIS IS SO FUNNY?? I also spent way too much time on this um?? Enjoy

[simplychemistry-blog]

thanks to ishida my boys finally talked they should’ve shook hands so now amon and kaneki got rid of their unresolved emotional tension they should've hugged they spoke on equal terms as beautiful living creatures of the earth they could've kissed just a few more steps towards friendship a make-out session wouldn't have killed anyone and then who knows dammit why is eyefucking the only thing canon about them i can only hope 

[amoneki-ramblings]

Also, your 'Amon stays in the CCG and works with Haise' AU is fantastic and should have been canon. Poor Amon misses Eyepatch terribly (he still has QUESTIONS damnit!) but doesn't want to get Haise (or Akira) in trouble, so he can't really say much, but he and Haise get suspicious of the CCG being corrupted. They investigate together, but they have to be discreet and they HATE IT, the CCG is supposed to represent justice! Inner!Kaneki drops hints and nags Haise in the background constantly.

YESSSSS GOD AMON AND HAISE NOT INTERACTING IN :RE WAS SUCH A MISSED OPPORTUNITY TO ME I WAS SO GENUINELY SURPRISED WHEN THEY NEVER DID

In the context of my AU I think Amon would feel so let down by the emergence of the Quinx project. He's spent all this time investigating the CCG's suspicious sides and almost uncovered what they were really aiming to do and then it just gets. Announced, just like that. That they're putting ghoul organs in people to use as weapons. It feels wrong. Everything clicks terribly into place. But he can't say anything. And Eyepatch is gone already (or so he Thinks) It all feels anti-climatic, somehow.

Then he meets this new investigator, who shakes his hand and greets him cheerily. He's being mentored by Akira. They are to treat him as a human unless he loses control, to which they'll treat him as a ghoul. It's Eyepatch. It's Haise Sasaki. Amon has to stomach the thought of both working with him and potentially having to "erase" him if he remembers who he is. He likes Haise, even if he's different from Eyepatch, but Haise might not be around forever, for one reason or another. He's never had to kill a co-worker or friend before. (I think, similar to Akira in canon :re Amon would be assigned a big role in leading squads when the CCG has to keep Haise under control. It only makes sense, he's done significant damage to him before, in half-kakuja form no less, and managed to escape this guy even without a weapon. And he's also like, one of the Only Guys who has ever killed a ghoul with his bare hands before.) Still though, the thought of killing Haise, whether it be with a quinque through the heart or the snap of a neck, is nauseating.

The CCG higher-ups are suspicious, obviously, because Amon is the only one who truly knows Everything about Eyepatch, and he might screw with Haise's memories. They're keeping an eye on him and make sure they don't get too close, unless Amon needs to confront Haise, since Haise, even when losing control, just can't seem to hurt him. Not really at least (if it ever does happen he feels So Guilty) ((Also sidenote but Haise probably visibly winces when he first meets Amon. His head hurts and he's not sure why. He feels melancholic and he doesn't know why. He feels a flood of relief. But he doesn't know why. He likes Amon a lot and wants to get to know him. The white-haired ghoul in his head seems particularly fixated on him, won't stop looking at him. Haise somehow knew Amon's name before he was even told what it was. He surmises that it's just because Amon is so well-known in general. (He knows, deep down, that it might be more than just that)))

Haise has small recollections of memories, but he can't tell anyone, obviously. Sometimes he has nightmares of flower fields and battles under the rain. When he and Amon get closer he tells him a little about them. "It's probably nothing" he laughs, unsure, but Amon knows what they really mean. He sees Eyepatch in Haise and it hurts terribly. He fears the chance that he'll never get to ask the questions he had, almost as much as he fears the chance that one day he suddenly will. The answers he's wanted for so long are so close that they are literally standing right next to him, yet they're so far.

As things move forward they definitely try to investigate and figure out the CCG's corrupt system together. But they have to be careful, on the outside co-workers (including Akira) make comments about how close they are and what a good team they make but within the inner-workings of the CCG they have their careful eyes on them. Maybe Akira's a little weary about it, tells Amon as such sometime and Amon says he knows (but there are things he can't tell even her.) Maybe one time Haise and Amon talk briefly, maybe after or during Haise losing control of himself and he says something and it sounds hauntingly like Eyepatch. Haise had looked at him differently during that moment. His voice sounded different. It was pained, but not in the physical sense. Maybe it wasn't Haise at all, actually.

Haise has a dream once about a man shouting asking him if he really is just a ghoul. Somehow he doesn't feel like it's for him. (But surely it means something to Kaneki Ken). Maybe, like in that comic I drew, Kaneki is incredibly relieved that Amon is alive, but also terribly jealous that all he can do is watch from the shadows LOL

Ough sorry I got SO carried away I've just been meaning to list out some of the details of my AU thoughts for AGES this has been living rent free in my mind for MONTHS it's one of my favorite thoughts Ever

It's insane, how many parallels are setup between Kaneki/Haise and Amon, yet Haise and Amon never meet once, even though Amon is foreshadowed constantly during :re. To be fair there is so much going on in :re already but still, man. Man,

[amoneki-ramblings]

some random doodles that have been sitting on my computer 👍

[amoneki-ramblings]

iirc you’re more into angst, but Haise would attempt to make Amon doughnuts, wouldn’t he? :0 He’d be a good critic too

YEAHHHHHHHHH I think it would be something Haise would pick up pretty fast (but maybe he would have Amon try his first few attempts and they'd be. Well. Amon says they're good at least but when Haise tried giving Juuzou some he visibly Paled)

Amon would probably just try to be Nice at first until Haise gets a More Reliable Taste-Tester, and then once he starts making donuts that are Pretty Good Actually Amon would give him more constructive criticism to refine them

He thinks that it's very touching that Haise would go out of his way to do something like this, despite the fact that he can't even enjoy the things he makes (All the donut making also certainly would help Haise later with the Quinx Squad, although they are left wondering why he makes donuts so often.... And why they're so sweet)

[amoneki-ramblings]

Now that I think about it, in your AmonSasa comics (I LOVE them btw, they are adorable), Amon still has both arms... BUT consider the additional angst if Amon survived but lost his arm? On one hand Kaneki is so relieved Amon is alive, but on the other hand oH No I CuT His ARM OFF! Poor Sasaki has no idea why he simultaneously feels this amount of relief and guilt towards this investigator he just met, oh no, why is he crying, this is so embarrassing... And Amon is just frozen, processing it all.

YEAHHHH When I originally drew the comic I think it slipped my mind, admittedly lol, but I've actually thought about it a lot it

I think, similar to other CCG members that had lost limbs in the Owl Operation (Juuzou, Kuroiwa), Amon would eventually be fitted with a prosthetic. Ooh, maybe when Haise and Amon first meet they shake hands, but when their hands meet and Haise stares down at them his face inexplicably falls. The inexplicable feeling of relief he'd felt (so much that he could almost cry) is suddenly swept up and replaced by guilt (also so much that he could also cry, Kaneki's putting Haise through a rollercoaster).

I'd imagine that Akira's definitely there too, and she asks Haise what's wrong, and oh, god, is he crying? He's holding Amon's hand in a death grip, Amon can't really pull away, but that probably doesn't matter since he's frozen in place anyway. On one hand oh god Haise might know something, or maybe he's making him remember, this is what the CCG was so worried about, and Akira's concerned and maybe she and Amon glance at each other worriedly, and Haise's confused but he's also shaking, it's a Mess of a "reunion"/"meeting".

Haise shakes it off, somehow, and decides to hang around with Amon for a lot of the day. When they're alone he apologizes profusely, says that he doesn't know what came over him, and Amon doesn't really know what to say, if there's anything he can say, poor guy probably just has to do his best to awkwardly reassure him LOL.

Haise probably plays it off casually from there, but he still feels a strange pinch of guilt when he looks at Amon's shoulder, or his arm. Kaneki no doubt feels awful about it, maybe one time Haise apologizes about it (for it?) to Amon. Amon is confused (and worried, about his memories) and Haise snaps out of it and says that he's not really sure why he apologized. Amon feels compelled to think that it wasn't Haise that apologized, but he also doesn't want to think about it.

Oh also some additional thoughts with Haise and Akira (First of all sidenote, someone mentioned in a reply that they were wondering if Sasaki would be mentored with Amon or Akira, I imagine he would still be paired with Akira, for a variety of reasons. Like I said while the CCG thinks Amon would be useful for 'extermination' operations, they aren't very comfortable about him and Haise getting too close, also I feel like since Amon would be promoted (he was promoted to First Class I think? in canon after his 'death') he would be busy with operations for higher ranking investigators, and Akira herself was specifically chosen in canon because of her ability to comfort Haise)

That said I think Akira, already weary, would try to keep the slight fiasco of Amon and Haise's first meeting out of discussion if possible, but one day Haise can't help but ask her about what happened to Amon's arm. Akira probably doesn't know what to answer, maybe keeps it vague, then Haise asks if it's similar to Investigator Juuzou, who lost his leg in the Owl Operation, and she has to swiftly shut him down before he can press further. It's not much, but it's a piece of a clue, something that must connect Haise and Kaneki.

Maybe Haise tries asking Kaneki about it once, though the answer isn't too different from what he says in canon ('It's my fault').

Sorry my brain runs on angst can you tell LOL, Amonhaise can be so silly but they can also be such a somber mess under the right circumstances. I think Haise would be confused and lost about it and how it makes him feel, but it would eventually become a massive tell towards his past. Ough thank you again for the banger ask :pray:

[amoneki-ramblings]

How do you see Sasaki’s first chat with Donato going down now that Amon’s present?

Ooh okay I have a few thoughts about this (I wrote a response for this earlier and then tumblr didn't save the draft *explodes*):

First of all Amon would obviously be super weary of Haise talking to Donato in the first place. He doesn't like the sound or idea of it at all. He's likely already certain that the "Alice" that Donato alluded to all that time ago was Kaneki/Haise, and look where it's gotten him now (wading into dangerous waters about CCG corruption, or really just. Everything about him and 'Eyepatch' in general), and there's no reason to believe he can't cause equal trouble with whatever he tells Haise. He absolutely knows things he Shouldn't, and that's dangerous.

Haise isn't so concerned, however. Donato seems... nice? In his weird, unconventional Donato-way. Donato speaks to him in a very friendly manner, and hears him out (in canon he says "You always help organize my thoughts. I appreciate it..."), obviously with Amon's disdain towards him he didn't really mean to have his guard so low like that, but it ends up happening away, because Donato seems to like Haise and having these conversations to kill the time. And at least he's more helpful about passing on information to Haise anyway. (He also probably occasionally prods Haise for info on how Amon's doing too LOL)

Regarding the fact that Amon was raised by Donato, now that gets complicated. Haise knows, obviously, and he wants to know more, but he likely thinks it both isn't his place to ask more about it and just, is hesitant to for a multitude of reasons. Asking Donato probably feels a bit like an invasion of privacy (if he did ask though, Donato would probably laugh about Amon as a kid, like about his sweet tooth), and obviously that would be a super touchy subject to ask Amon about. Honestly discussion about Donato between them is probably pretty strange in general, considering they both clearly have contrasting feelings about the man (and they're both complicated in their own ways (though Amon's are obviously moreso)). They probably try to keep it professional, discussion just the intel/info that he can give on cases, though maybe a few times Haise asks how Donato is like to other people, or something equally general (since asking why Amon has such disdain for him would be too obvious, and asking about his past upfront would be too direct).

As for Haise and Donato's conversations: Since Amon is here now, Donato obviously doesn't need to tell Haise to seek out a certain ghoul or anything. However, I think he would still be somewhat cryptic about it. Maybe he would hint that the "key" to his memories is much, much closer than he may think. That it's sitting within arm's reach, really, if he so chooses to pick it up and actually try and find out what was in his past. He would probably feed hints that point towards Amon, but leave it up to Haise himself to actually ask/remember anything, he's probably not just gonna spell it out for him. Maybe one day Haise recounts all the inexplicable feelings from his first encounter with Amon to Donato. Maybe Donato tells Haise that Amon may be more important to him than he realizes. Maybe he tells him that it's about time that he tries to figure out why.

[amoneki-ramblings]

You know what will be fun when Amon and Sasaki get to hang out as colleagues? Sparring sessions! Because, even if Sasaki doesn't remember ever fighting Amon, his body definitely does, and even though the prosthetic throws him off (maybe he feels too guilty to fight properly at first, and Amon and Akira tell him off for letting his guard down), he and Amon quickly fall into a pattern, and it feels disturbingly natural to read each other's movements. Sasaki doesn't understand why (Amon does or highly suspects), but in contrast to everyone else's instinctual fear of Sasaki when he fights, facing Amon as an equal feels amazing, and it gets even better when they learn to fight as a team. (It also leads to plenty of UST between them, to Amon's eternal mortification, Sasaki's confused embarassment and secret delight, and Kaneki is EXTREMELY conflicted about all this and increasingly jealous.) Akira also feels a complicated mix of wariness (the higher ups like the teamwork but they won't appreciate it if it becomes anything intimate, NO OFFICE ROMANCE WITH THE HALF-GHOUL!), slight jealousy (from her lingering feelings for Amon combined with a growing protectiveness of Sasaki; she tries to repress both feelings) and reluctant amusement (they are both DORKS it's hilarious to watch and they give her so much teasing material, it would be a shame not to use it).

YEAH ALL OF THIS,

Haise probably holds back a bit at first (almost as if he's scared of... something (losing control, like Kaneki was, like Kaneki did)), but like you said he would definitely be told off for it. It's equal parts kinda frightening and impressive to see how in-sync he and Amon seem to be though, whether they're sparrings against each other or fighting as a team. They turn out pretty evenly in terms of who wins, and they coordinate almost scarily well, especially with how they're capable of covering the others' weak points (while it's debatable how many opportunities they do get to fight together specifically, I'd like to think that they've practically saved the other more than once, lol)

Maybe Arima comments on it offhandedly once whlie he and Haise are sparring, to which Haise doesn't really know what to say, he just kinda laughs it off and is like "Yeah, it is strange isn't it?" (Meanwhile, in the background: This is all the more reason why Amon has such an important role in leading the squad if Haise does lose control. This is also all the more reason why it's important that they don't get too close. They make an impressively efficient team and it's quite morale boosting to see how they fight in all honesty, but they're also keeping an eye on them)

Also YEAH they're so awkward at times definitely I think both Akira and Juuzou would poke at them (mostly Amon. Poor guy) for it a lot (I think Juuzou in general takes a lot of enjoyment out of All of this. Especially because HE KNOWS, He knows who Haise is and was also there when Amon let him go at Kanou's Lab when he was Eyepatch, He Knows Everything (and he probably elbows Amon about it a lot (bro has to take a lot of shit for this can you tell LMAO), Amon would probably offer him more of Haise's donuts so he won't try and start rumors or cause trouble about it, though that doesn't stop him from giving Amon "I Know What You Are" looks or saying things that make him want to sink through the Floor), they're both like peak office entertainment to him. Akira, like you said, shares some of that amusement too, she's just far more cautious and weary, and conflicts with some of her other personal feelings. I can imagine a scenario with Juuzou saying something along the linss of "Sasaki and Amon are growing awfully close lately, huh?" and Akira nodding along, with a very subtle grimace)

And then there's poor Kaneki in the background of everything, watching from the shadows, there's probably too many emotions going on for this man to name at this point HAHA