#anakin pls

[forcearama]

I was thinking about how funny it would be if, as I've joked before, Anakin was Extremely Online and spent a ton of time on an R2 Unit Hobbyist Forum or something. Like obviously Obi-Wan and Padme and Ahsoka etc all know he's super into tricking out his astromech, but they don't realize he's got this whole other life that no one else knows about and he's like, sneaking away to go to conventions and meetups. And on the flip side, none of his online friends know he's a Jedi, they just know him as radakin12345 or whatever. Maybe he gives them a fake "real" name when he meets his internet friends in person so that they won't be able to find out who he really is. (Everyone's always kind of concerned for his well-being because half the time when he finally joins them at the bar at the hotel they're all staying at for this year's con, he looks like he just came off of a battlefield, for God's sake.)

I felt like this would be humorous until I considered the aftermath of Anakin's fall, because maybe he just totally drops off the face of the universe then and stops responding to DMs and emails and his fanzine stops publishing new issues. All of his friends think he's either decided he hates them, or he's died, and they have no way to confirm anything one way or another. Like, somebody probably eventually starts a Radakin12345 Memorial Thread or something. 😢 But then I realized that I have no reason to suspect that Anakin wouldn't just keep right on posting even when he's Darth Vader (I mean, Artoo might be gone, but he's got a whole warehouse full of other droids to work on, and also this is an excellent way to keep an eye out for a particular blue astromech maybe showing up in buy/sell/trade threads.) So now the idea that a bunch of clueless internet nerds are, unbeknownst to them, friends with one of the most terrifying beings in the entirely galaxy is making me laugh.

(They all wonder why he suddenly decided not to come to any more in-person gatherings, though. Anakin claims the conventions have just gotten "too commercial" for his tastes. It used to be about the droid-building, man. 😂)

[doesntlikesand]

       “I can assure you that I’ve been flying since I could walk.” Anakin assures the girl as he gripped the yoke and pushed forwards. The speeder sped up. “Though whether or not I can FLY doesn’t really answer your question of if this is actually LEGAL or not.” He said biting his lip.

    “I’m sure we’ll be fine.”  

| @starnamedlyra​ sc |

[angelrinisadork]

Ahsoka: That one looks hungry!

Anakin: Nah, it’s just smiling at ya.

[twentyoneeightysevena]

obi-wan: might i remind you this was not your mission?

anakin: you might *ends transmission*

[forcearama]

Common Knowledge

Anakin: [getting ready to leave for a mission] Well, we’re just about ready to head out. Tell Ahsoka to meet me at the hangar. See you in a few weeks, Master. Obi-Wan: [casually, as he continues to read something] All right, may the Force be with you, Anakin. Love you. [turns the page in his book]  Anakin: [stops halfway through the doorway] [walks back into the room, stunned] ...I. Obi-Wan: [looking up over his reading glasses] Forget something? Anakin: [wide-eyed, staring] I. You. Obi-Wan: [concerned] Are you all right? Are you hurt? Anakin: You. You said. Obi-Wan: [furrowing his brow, standing up and reaching for Anakin’s forehead] I said what? You look flushed, Anakin, what in blazes is the matter all of a sudden? Anakin: [sounding almost hysterical] Y-you said. [points accusingly] You said, “love you!” Just -- just like that. [lowering his voice] You said you love me. Obi-Wan: [baffled] ...yes? Anakin: [grabbing him by the shoulders] It’s OK, Master, your secret is safe with me. I’m not upset. Don’t freak out or anything. Obi-Wan: [deeply confused] “Freak out”? I...and why would you be upset about that? Anakin if you’re just acting strangely to try and get out of this mission, I’m sorry, but I won’t be able to get you out of having to -- Anakin: [whispering, gently touching Obi-Wan’s face] I’ll never tell a soul. Obi-Wan: [making a face] Never tell a soul what, exactly? Anakin: What you said, obviously. To me. About, y’know...[muttering] loving me. Obi-Wan: I...you certainly don’t have to, but I hardly think it's classified information. Anakin: [scoffs] What? Are you kidding me? But why didn’t you ever say anything?! Obi-Wan: I didn’t think it wasn’t being said! Certainly others have commented about it. Anakin: Wh -- wait, are you saying other people knew, but not me?! Ahsoka: [walking in with her duffel bag] Other people know what? Anakin: Snips, does Obi-Wan love me? Ahsoka: [cracks up] Oh yeah right, gee I wonder, Master. Anakin: [frowns] Ahsoka: [sobers] Oh my gods, were you serious?! Uh, he literally packed your bags for you this morning. [gestures at Anakin’s hand] I already know he made you that to-go caf with that gross sweet syrup you like in it. And he faked that knee injury that one time so you guys wouldn’t have to go on a mission during the finale of your dumb soap opera. He’s always doing stuff like that. Obi-Wan: [hands Ahsoka a paper bag] Here’s some lunch for the trip, by the way, young one. Ahsoka: [pecks him on the cheek] Thanks. [looks back at Anakin] I mean, he takes care of everyone but there’s no way you didn’t notice that he takes care of you the most. Obi-Wan: That reminds me, Anakin, you should probably take your fleece-lined cloak on this trip. It’s winter where you’re going and I know how you hate the cold. [starts putting it on him] Anakin: [furious while still allowing himself to be dressed] You mean this whole time I’ve just been going about my business and Obi-Wan’s loved me -- loved me best -- and everyone knew but me?! Ahsoka: I guess? Obi-Wan: [smoothing out Anakin’s robe] It appears that may have been the case. Anakin: [still miffed] Oh, this is some -- [grabs his comm and punches in a number] Padme. Hey. Does Obi-Wan love me? Padme: [laughter heard over the line] Ohh, Ani, very funny. [pause] Wait. Are you serious?

[forcearama]

I love how a recurring theme of the prequels is someone sort of warily noting that Anakin might have some issues with letting go and Anakin’s like WHAT NUH UH NO I DON’T while doing stuff like vowing to never let anything happen to Ahsoka for any reason whatsoever or stalking Padme at work or getting Obi-Wan’s name tattooed over his heart or whatever.

Mace: It’s just that we’re simply concerned that Anakin may have some issues dealing with his attachments. Obi-Wan: Oh, I don’t think his issues are quite that bad -- Anakin: [scowling, sitting on the floor in front of Obi-Wan’s council chair and clinging to his leg] Yeah, I’M FINE.

[forcearama]

Conundrum

Obi-Wan: ...and that’s why we must always aim to make choices that do the most possible good for the galaxy. That we always try to protect as many of those who need it as we can. That is part of our job as Jedi. Even if sometimes those choices will be very difficult, and not every decision will come without personal cost. We must accept that reality. Anakin: [blinks] OK but like...yeah, uh, of course. Obviously. I know that. Obi-Wan: You do understand what I mean, yes? Anakin: Yeah it’s just...like... Obi-Wan: I am simply saying that, for example, if faced with a choice between, say, saving my life, and saving a number of families with innocent children trapped in a burning building, you should aim to save the families, and not me, even though you and I care about one another. Even if that might be a terribly hard choice to make. Anakin: [widening his eyes in poorly-concealed terror] ...oh...kay. S-sure. I understand. Obi-Wan: [unconvinced] ...you seem unsettled. Anakin: Well yeah it’s just...I mean, what if I could save you all? Obi-Wan: Ah, see, that’s just the thing, in the real world that may not always be possible, and in this example you can’t -- Anakin: -- why not? How big is this burning building? How many trapped families are we talking about? Are you in the building too? Why -- why can’t you at least TRY to get to a window, Master? You’d just give up, just like that?! When I’m out there doing all I can to save you?! I can grab you while I’m carrying out some of the smaller children! Obi-Wan: Anakin, the point of the example is that you would have to accept that I may not survive, but you would still need to do the right -- Anakin: What in the Sith hells were you even doing in this building in the first place, Master?! Why wasn’t I with you? You -- you went into a building that’s on fire by yourself?! Why didn’t you bring me along? I can’t believe you would...I mean, if you’re dying in a burning building I’m supposed to be with you! Who set this fire? Were they trying to target you? Who would do that?! [clenching his fist as he talks] Ohhhh I’d make them pay, Master, you better believe -- Obi-Wan: [pinching the bridge of his nose] Stars, Anakin, it’s just a hypothetical situation meant to help you understand the -- Anakin: And what do you mean that “in the real world” I might not be able to save you all, anyways?! You seriously think I couldn’t rescue you AND a bunch of stupid families from a Force-damned burning building?! Me?! Obi-Wan: [exasperated] Well I hardly think it’s fair to presume the families are stupid, Anakin, and at any rate that’s not an attitude that is becoming of a Jedi -- Anakin: Pfft. This whole thing is so dumb. As if I couldn’t do it. I could carry you and all of those helpless losers out of that place in five minutes flat. Hmm? You seriously think I couldn’t?! Kriff, Master, I’ll prove it right now! [hoists Obi-Wan over his shoulder and attempts to pick up an armchair at the same time] Obi-Wan: Anakin for Force’s sake put me down this minute -- Anakin: Watch this, I can probably grab the sofa too. Obi-Wan: Anakin!

[forcearama]

The fact that Dramatic Bullshit Manor exists, and that Vader is over there, far away from the core of the galaxy/the major goings-on of the Empire (occasionally) AND that while he’s there he has time to do stuff like soak in a bacta tank and spend days searching for the key to resurrecting the dead for the seventy-billionth time seems to imply that Anakin gets, like, vacation time? I mean even if we presume that he CAN be contacted while he’s out, remember how Krennic had to haul his ass all the way out to Mustafar just to have a 15-minute 1x1 with him? I love the idea that Anakin may have been on PTO at the time and that’s why Krennic couldn’t just set up a Teams meeting or a Zoom call or @ mention Vader on the Imperial Senior Leadership Team Slack channel and ask to speak in private or whatever. Because when Vader takes vacation, he really likes to unplug, you know? His notifications are off on his phone, his out-of-office message goes up and everything. You wanna talk to him, you’re gonna have to physically show up at his door. Which is in the OUTER RIM.

Those must be generally really good times for every other Imperial employee who has to regularly interact with him, though. People probably plan their own vacation time specifically to NOT coincide with Anakin’s because those couple of weeks are the best weeks of the damn year. And sure, you probably wouldn’t necessarily assume someone at his level would be permitted to take a whole lot of time off given the ongoing turmoil and all, but also even Sheev surely has his limits. 100% would not judge him for being like “work-life balance is, uh, super important, Lord Vader, yeah that’s it, you take some time and unwind by ruminating on your greatest failures in a terrifying lava castle” just so he can get a couple weeks of peace. 

Once Vader’s back, though, it’s probably a thousand times worse: he’s got all kinds of pent-up rage because he hasn’t choked anyone in weeks, he’s spent almost all of his time off crying about Obi-Wan and failing to make a Zombie Padme yet again, AND he wants to talk at length about whatever he binge-watched while he was gone and you’d better HOPE you had the same take on the romantic pairings in it that he did or there’s gonna be trouble.