Author's note: hey fellas, guess who's back again. I do apologize for the long wait, so much shit happened when I was abroad but now, I'm back (I literally tried offing myself but I'm slowly doing better). I was looking through my drafts and realized I still had few that needed to be completed. They're currently in the process of being written, so I'll probably be updating here and there. Lowkey this might be ass because it's been a while since I last posted LMAO. Thank you all for still sticking around and supporting me.
summary: a surprise reunion with Anakin brings back a bitter and solemn memory.
“I thought you said there was only 20 of them!” Ashoka shouted over the distant explosions and blaster fire, while deflecting the shots with her lightsabers.
“Oops, I miscalculated!” Anakin who was ahead of his padawan, responds smugly, also deflecting blaster shots with his lightsaber as he slowly walks forwards towards the battle driods, firing at him and his troops.
“General! We have to fall back! There’s too many of them! We can’t hold them off any longer.” Rex exclaims as he catches up to the sandy hair Jedi Knight, while firing at the battle droids.
“No! We’re almost there! Keep pushing!” Anakin responds, taking off and diving forward to the next set of barricades, hoping to push closer to the droids.
Ashoka and Rex run over to the other set of the barricades across from where Anakin was, their backs pressed against the cold duracrete, avoiding the blaster shots.
As Anakin peaked over the barricade, he got a glimpse of a cloaked figure, standing menacingly in the doorway, behind where the droids had been appearing from.
Your lightsaber emits its blue hue, the battle droids that stood in front of you turned around at the sound of the saber's ignition, now aiming their blasters at you.
“Blast he-“ before the battle droid could finish, you had sliced its arms and head off in one motion. The other droids watched in horror and backed away, however, you were more agile than those clankers. One by one, you took down the remaining droids that stood between you and Anakin's troops.
The two Jedi and Captain watch you in awe before joining back into the fight, firing at any remaining battle droids. Anakin was stunned, he wasn’t made aware of another Jedi being in this mission. Anakin couldn’t make out your face, since it was hidden by the hood of your blue cloak. However when you turned around, he saw a familiar triangle insignia in gold on your cloak, flashing at him.
Anakin choked out your name, it was you. Ashoka and Rex raised their brows, looking at each other before back to the both of you.
“Not the time for a reunion, we have to stop Grevious!" You shout before turning back around the direction you had appeared from. Without another thought, Anakin had darted after you, along with Ashoka and Rex trailing behind him.
"What a surprise to see you here. A heads up would have been nice!" Anakin shouted, catching up to you.
"Well, surprise!! Now come on! Before-." You responded but your words died down as you and Anakin had stopped in your tracks, reaching a dead end. You could have sworn this was where Grevious was located. You look down at the ground, seeing the locator you had just put on him on the ground beeping and flashing.
"Damn it." You whisper to yourself, picking up the locator. "He can't be far from here." You said, before running through the corridor to your right, focused on your mission to stop the General.
"What if he already left!?" Anakin responds, trailing behind once again.
"He couldn't have gone far! I was able to stop him until I heard you make your entrance!" You point out at the Jedi Knight, slightly frustrated that they have given their position away.
You had just snuck onto the ship unsuspectingly; you were about to confront Grevious until Anakin and his troops decided to announce their presence on the ship with the help of explosives. They were supposed to cross paths with you at some point, however it was supposed to be discrete.
"Oh well...You gotta go out with a bang ya know?!" Anakin chuckled nervously. You couldn't help but roll your eyes and let out a snicker at his response. His humor hadn't really change the last time you talked to him. But from a maturity and physical standpoint, there was a drastic difference from the Anakin you knew grew up with and the Anakin you were with right now.
After running down a long corridor that had large windows overlooking the vast space, you stopped in your tracks after seeing a ship take off.
"Fuck." You whisper under your breath, catching a glimpse of that clanker on his ship, before it jumped into light speed. "Just when I almost had him."
Anakin looked over to you, afraid that you were upset at him, but decided to give rid of that thought. "We still have the rest of his fleet here. Let's go find the others and finish the rest of."
You nodded in response, the both of you locating his padawan and troops to finish the mission.
-
"Commander Y/N, a pleasure to see you, after all these years." Master Yoda said, bowing his head down at you.
"It has been far too long Master Jedi." You respond, bowing at the Grand Master Jedi. The Jedi council were relieved to see their former Jedi once again.
"You seem on edge my padawan. What seems to be the matter?" Obi-Wan looks over to his former padawan, noticing him gnawing the bottom of his lips.
"It's nothing master, just deep in thought." Anakin responded, continuing to avoid his Master's gaze, while keeping his focus forward.
"Deep in thought? Hmm, rarely do you ever think." Obi-Wan poked at him.
"Hey...I can think for myself, sometimes." Anakin crossed his arms defensively, turning to look at his Master now.
"I assume perhaps a return of a former colleague has stir something in you hmm?" Obi-Wan brought up, stroking his beard. Knowing the cause of his padawan's uneasiness was because you were here. After getting a lead to General Grevious's location, Chancellor Palpatine had personally reached out to you to help aid the Jedi, knowing that they need your expertise to crack down on the droid.
You had matured the past few years, no longer did you have that playful attitude to you anymore. You had become more serious, straightforward with everything and everyone, you knew what you wanted and how you would get it.
Anakin and Obi-Wan continued to observe you from afar. You were immersed in a conversation with the Rex and Cody. The Captain and the Commander, enthralled by the way you spoke. The way you carried yourself, the confidence you had displayed.
Something inside Anakin was telling him to say something to you. He felt like he had to at least acknowledge you after what happened during the mission, but what would he even say to you after all these years?
Anakin's eyes couldn't help but wander down to your left arm. Your black gloves were out of sight, displaying the gold and sliver durasteel that had made up your arm. His mind couldn't help but remind him of the painful memory on how you achieved your metal arm.
-
"Let go!" You exclaimed, holding the end of the rope as you dangled over a 200 foot drop.
"NO! I'm not leaving without you!" Anakin shouted, continuing to pull the rope up.
"Anakin, they're coming!" You looked over your shoulder, as numerous of Dugs began to file underneath you, waiting for you to drop to your death.
You felt the rope tug you up further, when you looked back down again, you noticed the leader of the pack winding up its shield. Your eyes widen, knowing what was to come of you.
"Anakin!" You shouted, but he was too concentrated in pulling you up to safety. "ANAKIN!" Finally shaking him out of his thoughts, Anakin stopped tugging on the rope and was met with your fear-filled eyes. He looked past you, seeing how there more and more creatures filing underneath you, realizing what was about to happen.
Suddenly, the had rope felt lighter, the tension created was gone. Your eyes widen as you let out a blood curdling scream as pain shot up throughout the left side of your body. Anakin falls back on his rear. After quickly processing what had happened, he runs over to the edge cliff with his hand out, hoping the force would float you up to him. But your connection wasn't there, he was filled with too much fear. He could no longer feel your signature as it descended further and further away from him.
You look at Anakin one last time, closing your eyes, waiting for your body to hit the ground. Anakin shouted for you, he couldn't see your body as numerous of Dugs begun surrounding it. He had let out a booming cry in agony. How could he let this happen? Why wasn't he strong enough to save you? He couldn't help but blame himself.
-
Obi-Wan cleared his throat out loud, sensing that his padawan's distress. Anakin shook himself out of his thoughts, before looking at his master before looking back at your metallic arm that was adored with gold and silver plating.
It taken the Jedi five months to find you, and when they did, you were in a comatose state, your left arm was amputated and wrapped in gauze. Upon your return to the temple, you were constantly soaked in the bacta tank, to help you heal faster.
Guilt began to eat the Jedi Council for sending you on that assignment. However, the guilt began to eat Anakin more as he could have done more to prevent your injury. Shortly after regaining your consciousness, the council had made the decision to have you dismissed. You were devastated, disappointed, and angry at the council’s decision, especially when you didn't have a say in it, but you knew why they had done it. In fact, after soaking in your misery and grieving at loss of your arm and no longer being a Jedi for months, you were quite glad the Jedi had dismissed you.
The Jedi had some beliefs that you couldn't align yourself with. They were against attachments, and this was your opportunity to have those feelings without the Jedi code weighing on your conscience. The older you got, the thought of having a significant other and having a family begun to weigh on your mind.
However, you knew you couldn't achieve that with a certain Jedi with the attachment you had for him. The very Jedi who is determined to bring balance to the force. Ever since he had joined the Jedi, you grew fond of him. However, you always felt you both were different in your own ways. The way you both thought and acted differently around each other, you could have sworn you wouldn't get along, but that didn’t stop you guys from becoming good friends.
You had always wondered if he had felt something for you selfishly. You couldn’t read his mind, and even if you did, that would be wrong of you.
Bail Organa had reached out to you shortly after your dismissal from the council, wanting you to become his commanding officer for Alderaan’s army. He still saw that fire into your eyes, you wanted to contrite to fight and protect, and that you still had that tenacity within you. When the Clone Wars had broke out, you were the perfect person form the bridge of commanding the clones, the Jedi, and the Republic.
-
"Hey." Anakin said softly, standing next to you. You were in the midst of taking a sip of your wine when he appeared.
“Hey there Skywalker.” You respond, glancing over at him before looking back at the beautiful skyline of Coruscant.
Anakin winced at the name, never did you call him that unless you were being serious. He immediately got the impression you didn’t want to talk to him for long.
“How have you been?” He cleared his throat, hoping that doing small talk would burst into a conversation with you, before you could dismiss him.
“Everything has been wonderful I’d say…Its been a bit hectic because, well, you know, the war and all…” You respond, taking another sip of your wine, making sure to savor the taste. “And what about you Chosen one?” You poked at him.
“Just the same old, same old. Obi-Wan still nagging at every little thing I do, even as a Jedi Knight.” Anakin jokes, scratching the back of his neck, hoping that you would find it amusing, to which you did with a confirming chuckle.
“I see you have a padawan now.” You piqued, swirling your glass as turned your head around, looking across the room where Ashoka was in deep conversation with Masters Mundi and Plo Koon.
“Oh snips? She’s been a wonderful apprentice. She takes after me you know." Anakin's follow yours, looking proudly at his apprientence from afar, like a proud father. Ashoka takes notice and waves back at Anakin.
“Oh I know alright, especially with the explosions on the ship earlier.” You snort at him, poking fun at him at the several explosions that had occurred on the mission. Which gave away their position, allowing Grievous to flee and you to find them.
Anakin chuckles at your words, causing you to smile. It has been far too long since you both had a moment like this, even with the small bit of tension, you both couldn't help but to feel at ease now.
“Does this mean you’re a master now?” You asked, your gaze meeting his. Anakin had forgotten to breathe in the moment, remembering where you were both are, Anakin shook his head at your question.
“N-no…Um, they didn’t grant me the rank of master.” He mustered out, sounding disappointed.
You choked on your wine mid-sip, causing you to choke and Anakin to panic. He makes his way closer to you, patting your back and rubbing it, hoping it’ll ease you until you had stopped your coughing fit.
“What do you mean they didn’t grant you the rank of master?!?” Accidentally slamming your glass of wine a bit too harshly on the table infront of you. The sound of the glass and the tone of your voice caused several guests around you to look at the both of you with concern. Anakin puts a finger up to his lips, trying to hush you. “What do you mean they didn’t grant you the rank of master?!” You repeat, but in a more hush tone, furrowing your eyebrows.
“Let’s chat about this in more private matter shall we?.” Anakin responds, a bit nervous. You both make your way into the elevator, finding yourselves in an unoccupied dimly lit living space. Anakin takes a seat on the couch, patting the spot next to him for you to sit down. You’re quick to sit next to him, leaving some space in-between.
“The Jedi Council said I wasn’t ready yet. At least to take the trails…until I have matured and I have become less reckless, they’ll reconsider their decision.” Anakin huffed, upset at the memory. You put a hand on his shoulder, rubbing it for comfort.
“Oh Anakin…” You began, your voice was soft now. “Sometimes the council makes very questionable decisions…and this, is one of them.”
“No, no, they’re right. I have been become too reckless, angry at times for my own good.”
You were in slight shock at the revelation. Anakin was never an angry person. You know he could be reckless at times, especially when you were both young, but for him to be angry? It was perhaps the last emotion you would even associate him with.
“And what might be the cause of your anger Ani?” The nickname shook him out of his thoughts. The main source of his anger, came from those creatures who took your arm, who almost killed you, who took you away from him at one fateful day. That day had scarred the both you deeply, resulting a drastic change in the dynamic of your relationship.
“It was those damn creatures…The creatures who had harmed you, the ones who almost killed you. The ones who almost took you away from me.” Anakin gritted through his teeth, the anger seething within him as he recalled the painful memory. The great deal of pain they had put you through still angered him through his core. He never told anyone, but after you were discovered, Anakin had paid a personal visit to the Dugs. The need for vengeance consumed him, and in this act, Anakin had slaughtered the entirety of the group in one evening.
"Anakin...I understand your anger, but I'm still here." You scoot closer to him, your hand finding their way to his hand that was on his thigh, interlacing your organic hand with his. Anakin looked down at your intertwined fingers, the feeling he had suppressed for you all those years ago began flooding into his mind.
"Still, you could have died that day. If only I was strong enough to pull you up, you wouldn't be like this." Gesturing at your metal arm. Your gaze follows his gesture, you sigh to yourself, having to live with the burden of having to perform maintenance on your arm from time to time.
"If only I could have stopped Dooku in time." You said, looking at Anakin's gloved hand. The hand that Count Dooku had sliced off in the midst of the duel on Geonosis.
"This isn't about me, it's about you..." Anakin said softly, his finger pushing your chin up to make eye contact with him.
"it's exactly the same thing Anakin...If I had arrived sooner, I could have prevented it." You spoke softly, gazing into his eyes. His expression was unreadable as you scanned over his facial features.
You both were silent, maker, you both held your breaths, waiting for the next move. You began to feel the anxiety crawling through you. A dreaded thought had made its way to your head, reminding you that the was potentially your last mission with the Jedi before you were sent across the star system on your next mission for a long time.
"Anakin" You spoke up, looking away. Anakin was still looking at you, but when he noticed the change in your behavior, he was filled with concern.
"What is it?"
"It was nice to see you again, really." You give him small smile. Deep down, you had hoped this wouldn't be the last time you see him. Perhaps if you could convince Bail to have you work alongside the Jedi more often, hoping you would to get to see Anakin more often.
"It was nice to see you again as well...You become more beautiful." You suck in a breath before slowly releasing it.
"Really? You think I'm beautiful?"
"I've always thought that since the day I met you." Anakin was looking into your eyes now, you couldn't help but feel your heart skip a beat. "You were, and still are just a beautiful as I remember."
You were stunned. You weren't sure what to say. The feelings that you had for Anakin, the feelings that you had buried deep down began to resurface.
"I...I should go." You mustered out, standing up abruptly and making your way to the elevator. Anakin was slightly hurt at your action, but wasn't going to let you go just yet. He stood up as well, grabbing your wrist, making you turn around to face him again.
"Don't go. Please." Anakin whispered, his voice pleading for you to stay. Anakin rested his forehead on yours, his large hands now holding both of your arms that rested on your sides. You close your eyes, afraid that if you looked into his eyes you would just melt away.
"That's all I needed to hear Anakin.." You whisper to him, tilting your head to the side as you lean in closer to him. Anakin realizing what you were doing, cupped your cheek, closing the gap between the both of you.
His lips were soft. He was gentle with the kiss, but as you both continued on, he couldn't help but become more passionate, forcing his lips and body onto yours.
"Anakin.." You breathe out, gasping for air. You rest your forehead on his once again.
"Yes my Angel?" He responses, also catching his breath.
"You have no idea how long I wanted you." Causing him to chuckle.
"You have no idea how long I've waited to tell you."
Hey Moll! Can I request NSFW prompt 10 and 15 (for Anakin Skywalker, if you write for him?
One Night
Pairing: Anakin Skywalker x fem!reader
Fandom: Star Wars
Warnings: NSFW, smut
Word Count: 828
A/N: Hello lovely! Of course you can! I hope you enjoy it and that it's something of what you wanted. I truly appreciate all the support and love! Thank you so much for this request. Anyways, feedback is always welcome and encouraged!
Summary: Anakin and you swear that the kiss that leads to more, will only be one night.
(gif not mine!)
"Just once," You mumbled against Anakin's lips as you fumbled to close the door behind you, "Just one time and never again."
Anakin nodded, his hands trailing your body before finally grabbing under your thighs and lifting you effortlessly, "Mhm. Mhm. No talking about it, just one night. Got it."
"One night."
Your voice was muffled by Anakin's lips attaching to yours once more. You wrapped your legs around his waist and groaned softly at the feeling of his erection pressing against your clothed heat. Both of you worked quickly to get the other's tops off while maintaining the make-out. Anakin groaned loudly as you rubbed down against him.
"God, (y/n), you'll be the death of me," Anakin mumbled, moving down your neck, nipping and licking as he went.
"Wanna bet?"
Anakin chuckled at your challenge, walking over to the bed and dropping you on it. You smiled as he tugged off your pants, a hungry look filling his eyes. You beckoned him, and the sandy-blonde-haired boy crawled up you quickly, his eyes ravishing you laying out for him like you were.
"One night," Anakin sighed, kissing his way up your chest.
You nodded, "Just one. So you better show me what you got, Ani."
He kissed your lips fiercely, mushing them together as he pushed down his pants. Anakin smiled as he pulled away and watched your shocked reaction as you took in the size of him. Anakin knew he was larger than average and took pride in flaunting it.
"I don't wanna break you," Anakin smirked, rubbing his tip between your folds as you gasped.
You grabbed onto Anakin's shoulders, your eyes locking with his as you spoke, "Don't be gentle."
Without another word, Anakin slammed himself into you, filling you up entirely with ease. He thrust into you quickly and mercilessly, setting a quick, hard pace that had you moaning loudly. You knew you were in too deep that even if the two of you managed to keep this as a one-time thing, the memories wouldn't be.
The two of you molded together perfectly, like two halves finally becoming whole after years apart. There had always been sexual tension between the both of you, but you had never expected anything to actually come of it. He was a Jedi Knight, and you were a Jedi Master, something he envied you for greatly.
If this was the last time... if this was the only time you ever got with Anakin, it still wouldn't change anything. You knew it was too late. The moment your lips had first connected in the training room you'd been left alone in, you knew it. No kiss would ever be the same. No sex would ever compare. Nobody's touch would ever affect you the way Anakin did, and Anakin's touch would never be innocent like it once was.
Moans and whines fell from your lips as Anakin pounded in and out of you, hitting your g-spot each and every single time. Your nails dug into his shoulders, leaving crescent moon marks in their wake. How could sex be so overwhelmingly amazing? Was it breaking the rules? Or possibly the built-up sexual tension?
A dark, betraying part of your mind couldn't help but think that this would be nice. Being with Anakin like this, whenever you pleased, a relationship with the slightly older Jedi Knight. You let your eyes flutter shut, trying to block out your emotions and just enjoy Anakin. All six foot six of him setting your body on fire in ways that nobody else had ever managed to.
His hand snaked down between your two bodies, finding a way to your clit and immediately rubbing. You cried out at the sensation, seeing stars in your vision as your orgasm slammed into you. Anakin groaned at the feeling of you clenching around him, trying to milk him of his own juices. It wasn't much longer until Anakin was moaning and releasing himself inside you, using his arm to prevent him from collapsing on you.
"Fuck," Anakin groaned.
"Wow," you breathed out, watching Anakin carefully.
He dropped himself beside you, laying on his side as he caught his breath. You both lay in silence for multiple minutes, your eyes locked with one another as you focused on calming your racing heartbeats. While your heart was calming down, your mind was speeding up as the realization of everything dawned upon you. There was no coming back anymore.
"So..." You started softly.
A small smile came to Anakin's lips as he looked at you, "This is more than one night."
Heat flooded your cheeks as Anakin leaned in, kissing you deeply and immediately getting a response. You melted into the kiss, cursing yourself for allowing Anakin to be entirely correct. There had always been something more between the two of you, and as dangerous and bad as it was, there was no way that Anakin and you could ever be just one might.
One of his arms finds its way tucked across your waist and into the sheets below, and you relish the feeling of his stubble rubbing against your neck a little; the rise and fall of his chest, the warmth of his freckled hands in comparison to the coolness of the sheets and how he looks more at peace without his glasses on.
Eventually, morning would come. His nose would be tangled in your hair, and his arms still wrapped around your waist protectively; the sun peaking through the impossible slits in the blinds.
Summary: The reader is a hard worker. However when she develops feelings for a Jedi, she realizes just how else shares those feelings for him.
Anakin Skywalker Masterlist
"There's no way he likes me!" You chided. "Have you seen him with Padme? The man literally beams."
Y/B/F, scoffed. "You've got it wrong. That's how he is when he's with you."
You shook your head while rolling your eyes. "Right, because I'm some beautiful-looking Galactic senator that can offer him the entire galaxy." A quiet snort escaped from you.
"Come on. Y/N." They groaned. "Don't be like that-"
"Be like what?" You questioned. "I'm the help. What could he quite possibly see in me that he doesn't see in her?"
Y/B/F let out a defeated sigh, as they began walking down the corridor towards the area in which they could get their job started.
"My point exactly." You huffed, turning on your heel readying to go in the opposite direction.
As you walked down the corridor, you could sense someone following you. Hiding behind one of the pillars, you awaited the being. Once they were within arms reach, you grabbed them before pushing them up against the wall, pressing your chest firm against theirs while your forearm was securely anchored along their chest.
The sound of Anakin's chuckle filled your ears.
Removing yourself from the close proximity between you and Anakin, you sent a playful smack to his arm, causing him to flinch at your unsuspecting reaction.
"Ani!" You hissed. "You nearly scared me half to death!"
A toothy grin made its way along the seams of Anakin's lips. "Sorry, Y/N." He chuckled. "I couldn't resist."
Rolling your eyes, you let out a frustrated sigh, before resuming your trek down the hall, readying yourself for the day's tasks.
"Wait!"
Scoffing you shook your head, not bothering to slow in pace.
A firm hand gently wrapped around your wrist preventing you from moving any further. Twirling you around, you were chest to chest with Anakin once again.
"C-Can I see you after work?" He questioned tilting his head slightly, as a rosy tint made its way upon his cheeks.
Gazing intently at his features, you had quickly fallen under his lovestruck spell. Nearly giving in to his request, Padme rounded the corner quickly joining you and Anakin.
"Ani, is everything all right?" She questioned with false concern.
Returning to reality, you took a step back attempting to put as much space as you could between you and Anakin.
Padme, sent a glare your way, before quickly softening her features to gaze at Anakin angelically. All the while, his eyes not bothering to look anywhere but your face, attempting to gauge your thoughts and feelings.
"Huh? Oh, uh, yeah, yeah, everything's-"
"Y/N!" Your boss's booming voice sounded from behind you. "There you are! You're late!"
Turning on your heel, you hadn't bothered saying anything to either of them.
"Wait!"
Anakin attempted to follow you however, Padme had other thoughts. Her hand quickly found home on his firm chest gently pushing him back allowing her to step in front of him obstructing his attempted movements to get to you.
"No, Ani." Padme's sweet voice sounded. "Let her go, we have things to do."
Frowning, you felt tears forming in your eyes. Shaking your head slightly, you attempted to push them back. As you were about to enter your place of work, you heard Padme speak one last jab at you, making sure you heard it.
"You know how right I am for you." She spoke almost as if she was trying to place him under a spell. "There's no need for a peasant when you could have a senator."
Your heart dropped into your stomach, as tears quickly reformed in your eyes threatening to fall.
---
Sighing, you tossed and turned as you couldn't find a comfortable position in bed. Throwing the blankets off, you let out a frustrated huff as you made your way towards your door. If you couldn't sleep, you were at least going to attempt to tire yourself out.
Opening the door, you glided into a firm chest that felt much like walking into a wall. Letting out a surprised yelp, you felt yourself sway slightly. Their hands jolting out steadying you.
Glancing up, you were greeted with Anakin's glistening eyes.
"Are you alright?" He questioned his features etched with concern.
Nodding you hummed in response.
"Can we talk?" He offered a weak smile.
"I...I don't think Padme would like that." You frowned, attempting to take a step back.
His grasp tightening but not hurtful. Anakin kept you in place not allowing you to move away from him.
"Please." His voice sounding desperate as he pleaded with you.
Letting out a defeated sigh, you nodded before leading him into your quarters.
"What is it you-"
Before you could finish your sentence, Anakin's warm hands cradled your face angling it upward allowing him to gently nudge your nose with his.
"Can I-"
Butterflies erupted in your stomach as the Jedi was pressing his chest firm against yours. "Yes." You breathed, closing your eyes.
The feeling of soft lips upon yours overwhelmed you. It was a gentle chaste kiss. Simply stating his feelings for you.
Pulling back, Anakin rested his forehead against yours.
"Wait." You breathed, squeezing your eyelids. "What about Padme-"
"Padme has feelings for me, yes." He sighed, as his hands anchored themselves along your waist.
"But you," He started with a grin. "You have me until every last star in the galaxy dies, you have me."
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you’re breaking my heart | anakin skywalker x reader | 4/3 [alt. ending]
a/n: this alternate ending had been tempting for me to write to begin with, but i wanted to stick with the request given to me. however, due to an additional request given to me many months ago by pparkerssweetheart to make an alternate ending, i decided to go through with it. it takes place after part two (replacing the original third part.) And yeah, I could’ve broken this into two, but that would just be more confusing with the original third part and this being an alternate ending.
summary: in this alternate ending, we find that the reader is tempted by more than her fears, but also by the voice of a dark seducer. will she choose to overcome her pain or give in to her jealous anger?
disclaimer: some of the lines towards the end of this are directly from the film’s script and belong to Lucasfilm/Disney.
warnings: anger, mild violence, sad panakin anakin :(
word count: 7.8k (woowee)
music: The Immolation Scene by John Williams (sit down and cry with me)
PART 1 || PART 2 || PART 3 (original ending)
Sheev Palpatine gazed out of the large window in his elaborate Chancellor’s suite and set his calculating gaze upon the rushing traffic that blazed in currents of noise and glinting metal. His advisor was seated in one of the soft seats on the other side of his wide desk, reading off grievances and compliances expressed from other cabinet members of the Galactic Republic. But Palpatine couldn’t have been more disinterested in the qualms of the Senate - or more distracted from them.
In this moment, he was caught up in a sudden dip in the careful balance of the Force he had felt moments prior.
“Supreme Chancellor, what would you have us tell the cabinet advisors? Many of them are expressing displeasure with your decision to postpone the meeting of treaties in the coming week. Some of them have conveyed concern towards your intentions to sway the vote. Shall I make arrangements to meet-“ The advisor trailed off into silence when the Chancellor held up his hand to summon him to hush.
“Do what you must to silence their complaints.” With a dismissive nod and wave of his open palm, Palpatine watched as his advisor left his suite and the doors shut behind him. He turned then to his chair and placed himself primly in its dark cushions with a curious smirk on his aging features.
Normally, he was careful to uphold his peaceable demeanor as Chancellor, but he could spare no time in this instance. Something, or someone, had set a disturbance in motion across the energy of the Force.
It had been weak at first, like a small ripple at the edge of a still pond. But as ripples often go, though small they may begin, they expand and spread until the stillness of the water is disturbed and put out of balance until it laps the shore, unsettling the fine dust and crumbling rock at its edge. This shift was beginning to feel much the same.
He had felt something peculiar, something swelling and festering; anger founded in the loss of love – of rejection.
Palpatine pulled the hood of his robe over his head until it shrouded over his eyes and blocked the light from his vision. He silenced every sensation around him, channeling every thought towards this growing darkness. His eyes morphed beneath the shadow of his robe until they burned with a bright red and yellow glow. His skin aged as he grappled the tether of the Force’s energy and clung to it with a dominating presence until he felt its source within his grasp.
The source was close; not close in the sense of distance, but in the sense of knowing.
Palpatine recognized this energy, this internally pure soul – for he had known her for some time. Not personally, not like he had begun to know Anakin, but in passing, enough to identify her.
“Not as strong as Anakin,” his smirk grew into a wide sneer as he pressed the tips of his fingers to each other, “but she would make a perfect pawn in ensuring his turn to the Dark Side.”
“(Y/n)!” The voice of the man who had brought Anakin to Coruscant many moons ago echoed in your ears with stern allocation. Qui-Gon Jinn was calling to you. “You mustn’t give in to your anger! Do not trust your feelings; they will betray you!”
Your gaze fell to your hands as his voice faded almost as quickly as it had come. They were clasped tightly onto the hilt of your glowing saber, trembling with unadulterated adrenaline. “My feelings?” you whispered, “I mustn’t trust my feelings…”
You lowered the saber and took in a deep breath, closing your eyes to the flickering light of the blade and the temptation that came with it. Your thumb caressed the switch as you evened your intake of air and envisioned the path ahead of you; calm and illumined. The anger began to dissipate at its very edges, sifting away like sand falling through the cracks on one’s fingers.
The warming temperature of your skin began to cool as you identified the displacement of your emotions and began to organize your thoughts. You felt the faintest sense of peace as you willingly attempted to assuage the darkness from-
“NO!” A dark, sinister voice boomed from the recesses of your mind and yanked you from your meditation. Your eyes opened wide from the shock of such a gruff voice. It was raspy and foreign, but it felt familiar somehow, as if it were the culmination of every dark deed ever done, of every stray thought that had ever tempted you. Its origin seemed to pull from the hidden corners deep within you where you had locked away every ounce of anger and hurt and every inclination to the Dark you had ever felt. “Use your anger! Let it fuel your power!”
“Power?” You murmured. You were suddenly inquisitive of the idea of strength and its potential remedy to the hollowing expanse of your suffering.
“Yes! You have been betrayed by your closest ally and friend; the one whom you love. Do you truly think that recessing how he hurt you will resolve the rejection you feel?”
But Anakin is my friend! He didn’t mean to hurt me.
He doesn’t know that I love him.
“But love is a weakness, is it not? Look where it has gotten you; rejected and overcome with pain, left with only ruin and misfortune. Even in his ignorance, he forsook you. What does that prove to you about the ways of Jedi? What protection has the Force given you so far?”
“Trust in the Force, (Y/n), and it will guide you. Do not give in to your hate! Your hope is stronger than your anger! You have life outside of this feeling of loss. Do not allow your mind to be seduced!”
The calm and assertive tone in which Qui-Gon spoke to you pulled you back into the beckoning folds of the Light. You didn’t want to be seduced, nor did you want to become weak and unable to control your own feelings. Was this not what you had pledged your life to?
Denying the Darkness and identifying her as the seductress she was, ensnaring strong minds in their weakest moments? You didn’t want that fate to become yours, did you?
You felt the core of your being begin to tear in opposite directions, plagued by the fear of failure and the hunger for your hurt and anger to be realized. You wanted to be good, to instill peace and hope in world you lived in and in the hearts of the beings you encountered – but what of the raging storm that had begun to defile your spirit and strip it of its natural desire for the Light?
How were you supposed to find solace when you could tell no one of the forbidden attachment you had clutched onto your entire life?
“What can you trust, if not your own feelings?”
That gravelly tone pierced your soul as they entered your thoughts. A sudden wave of doubt and stunned realization flooded your mind, unfurling a torrent of destruction and unkempt emotions. You felt the edges of your very existence, the laws and codes upon which you were trained, begin to fray at the edge like a splitting rope.
Your yell pierced the air with an aggressive strain as you twisted your body on one foot, pirouetting gracefully on your toes. With every ounce of anger and brokenness you could project, you brought your weapon down with you. The glowing blade of your saber flashed as it made contact with the wide column to your right, singeing its minerals and splitting it in half. Quickly, you jutted to the side and turned on your heel, bearing your saber down once more through the column on your left.
You watched as the upper portion of the columns slid forward until the weight of their momentum tipped them into a horizontal position, sending them both crashing into the railing of the balcony. Small chards of marble and stone scattered around your feet. The left column was only seconds behind the first you had cut down. The massive columns plummeted dozens of feet into the waters of the lake that framed the palace courtyard below.
As they broke through the surface of the freshwater below, those once calm waters reacted violently, spraying in every direction with harsh motion. Mist sprayed the edge of your balcony and dotted your toes with its moisture. The carefully crafted railing that had been crushed under the column began to crumble further as some of its debris followed the columns into the water and was swiftly followed by a substantial portion of the balcony floor itself.
You steadied your balance as it crumbled away and what remained of the balcony split in thick cracks like a lake of splintered ice. With widening eyes, you glanced down at the destruction you had caused. A distorted feeling of guilt and shame welled within you. The thrill of aggression and released tension began to wither as the shame of it sunk into your bones.
Beneath your heaving chest, your lungs panicked for air, demanding that you settle the adrenaline racing through your blood – but you couldn’t stop. And although its indulgence filled you with a dense feeling of sickness, you craved more. It was like the tempting flavor of those sweet pastries you would convince Anakin to conceal in your robes after evening meals as children.
The moment you had tasted one during dessert, you needed as many as you could to fulfill your craving for them into the night. You would stuff your faces full of the delicacies in the hours after your masters had left you to retire to their own quarters for the night, expecting you both to be asleep, when in fact you were running through the courtyards and finding glowing insects beneath stepping stones marked for meditation, dipping your dusty toes in the cool fountain water, and allowing Anakin to teach you some of the games he and his young friends from Tatooine would often play.
Those memories, those precious pieces of your life, no longer comforted you to remember.
They hurt. They ached.
They set your veins ablaze with a wild rage you had never felt before.
And with it came an avalanche of guilt.
You saber hummed maliciously at your side – its sound seemed no longer harmonious with your being. You could sense its energy had shifted ever-so-slightly. Whether by truth or imagination, you felt that your wrath had tinted its blue glow. The shift was blind to the eye, but you could sense it. Small and tiny it may have been, the fragment your dark will had forced upon the kyber crystal in your weapon, but significant enough to be felt.
How could one act of defiance and aggression cause such a shift?
“Yes! Feel the power grow within you! Let your anger fulfill your yearning for vengeance!”
The voice returned with a malicious pleasure in his speech. It sent shivers through your body.
You had done something to please the darkness within you - and you hated it.
You yearned to hear Qui-Gon’s voice once more, but it did not come. You had shut him out with your act of self-satisfaction. Fear twisted inside of you, knotting your nerves and thoughts together in chaotic disarray.
“Vengeance? I don’t want vengeance!” You spoke aloud, feeling as though the voice were no longer in your head, but surrounding you. You felt a dark presence draw nearer, but you did not want it. You didn’t want any of this. “I just want him to love me! I don’t want to lose him!”
“Power is the only path you have left! You have already given in. There is no going back.”
“No! I can fix this! I can enter the trials!”
“The trials? You think subjecting yourself to those pitiful tests the Jedi keep would secure your place in the Light after this? You think they would let you?”
“I didn’t hurt anyone. I can pay for the damages!”
“Have you forgotten the hurt you inflicted on him?”
You swallowed hard as you remembered the hurt expression that had come across Anakin’s features with perfect clarity. You had hurt someone. You had hurt Anakin.
“I-I can still undo this,”
His cruel laughter echoed in your ears.
“You can’t undo a lifetime of rebellion.”
There it was. That was why your unkempt temper had caused such a change, even in just one act of frustration and violence. You had been rebelling against the code your entire life. You hadn’t been without Anakin since you were a child - and the attachment, the devotion of feeling and companionship, had been there every day since.
“I can learn to let go.”
“Then you are satisfied to lose him! To watch him pledge his life to another! All while knowing your devotion meant nothing to him.”
“N-no-”
“You will watch him slip away before your eyes and into the arms of another. He will embark in a life you will never be a part of. And when his children are born, you will grieve every day knowing you did not carry them, that the blood that flows in their veins will not be yours,”
“That’s not true-“
“You will live your life in regret and anguish, watching from afar! From here, your paths diverge forever,”
“No! I can’t lose him,” tears spilled from your eyes as you clutched your stomach and knelt to the ground, weakened by your sorrows, your saber distinguishing as it clattered to the ground, “I can’t lose Anakin!”
“Then seize your anger and control your own path! This is the only way to ensure that your paths remain forged of the same destiny. This is the choice you must make.”
“But is it right choice?”
“It is the only choice.”
Silence fell as you felt the overwhelming weight of every fear, every regret, and every tender affection you had ever felt for Anakin.
A lifetime of friendship and love that all amounted to nothing. He was in love with Padmé, the girl queen who had managed to meet him only days before you, and had somehow managed to enrapture his young heart within that precious time. All before you had even had a chance; before you had been able to exchange that first inquisitive glance, before you had been asked to make him feel welcome, before he had become your one and only attachment and your fondest hope. Before he had become everything you had ever wanted, all wrapped up in one beautiful person.
And now you would spend your life missing him, waiting and hoping, wishing and regretting.
Unless you took your destiny into your own hands and swallowed it whole - devouring its tethering pull and reining it back with your own desires.
You could have Anakin. You could have a life together.
But at what cost?
A sob escaped your lips as your torment multiplied. You felt disgusting. You had given in so easily. What did that say about your strength? Your power?
This wasn’t the code and the life you had so learned to love, and yet this attachment, this now-growing resentment, had tainted your view of it in a matter of seconds. The dark was just as seductive as your masters had told you, if not more when attached so personally to you.
Your breathing shallowed and quickened as you pressed your hands to the cool marble floor. The drops of your tears plodded heavily by your fingers, as if they weighed a great deal. In a way, they did. In them was every emotion you had bottled up, every longing hope, every twinge of hurt, and the drowning feeling of rejection.
You yanked your gaze up from the blurred marble when an urgent communion of voices echoed suddenly from the courtyard below. You heard their urgent questions and envisioned their conflicted stares and pointing fingers.
It would only be minutes before the royal security forces arrived in droves to inspect what had been done – and even less for the visiting company of Jedi to arrive, the company in which your Master was a part of.
Another curt release of your weeping leapt in a quiet cry from your body as you pictured Mace Windu’s thwarted expression when he would see the destruction you had caused so willingly. He would be disappointed with you for your failure to resist the temptation and recognize the seduction as it came to you. He had been a hard master and a determined instructor, and often times knew little of expressing empathy, but you desired to please him in your path to follow the Light. Your bond, though rocky from the start, was significant to both of you.
He was your master, your teacher, your example.
How would this make him feel? Would it hurt him? Would he mourn your failure?
“Is someone up there?!” One of the voices from below shouted and interrupted your flow of thought and grief.
Were you supposed to answer? Did they know you were there?
“Hello! Is anyone hurt?”
Did you dare attempt to conceal yourself and recede back into your quarters? Were you to hide yourself away until they realized who had done it?
You sucked in your breath and stood slowly, cowering enough to not be seen from the crowd that congregated below. You gazed down at your saber from where it had landed, unsure of whether to take it up or leave it where it rested.
“Take it. You may need to defend yourself against the Jedi.”
Without thinking, you snatched up the weapon and turned quickly into your quarters. You hurried around and fumbled through your drawers, gathering a satchel full of necessities. Quickly, you latched your belt back around your waste and picked your robe up from the floor, as well as the boots you had thrown haphazardly across the room. You slipped into them, tightened the satchel across your body, and twisted the knob of the door that led into the corridor.
You halted there – the door cracked just enough to let warm light from the marble-clad hall shine in a streak across the leather of your boots. You sucked in a tight breath. Your eyes fell to the saber in your hand that you had been persuaded to take with you.
To do what? To hurt the people you loved?
To defend yourself against whom – Anakin?
Master Windu? Master Kenobi? Padmé’s royal guards?
You had never felt so confused in your life – or so alone.
What am I doing?
Your thumb grazed over the bolts and subtle grain in the metallic material of the hilt as a thousand fears roamed freely in your mind. Doubt seemed apart of you now. Had your failure been imminent since the day you had welcomed the boy from Tatooine into the temple?
“A lifetime of rebellion”, the voice had said.
That didn’t only mean one thing. It meant a lifetime of white lies denying any and all attachment; it meant that each day you stepped out against the code when you put Anakin before your every thought and action; it meant that your path hadn’t been true. You couldn’t be a Jedi now; not after your love for Anakin had woven itself into your very fiber. You couldn’t separate yourself from that now, from him - not for anything, even if you tried.
And did you even want to try?
The sinister voice you heard was right; there was no going back from this.
You hadn’t just decimated a portion of the palace out of sheer anger – you had spent every day of your life loving someone you were forbidden to attach yourself to and acting on that emotion.
And to think Anakin might still want you? To risk so much for such slim hopes? He had already pledged his heart to Padmé Amidala. There was no room in his heart for you…so what was left?
Your grasp tightened around the knob and you pulled the door open. Your boots fell silently in the hall as you fled to the stairs, hoping to escape before anyone saw you. It may have been cowardly of you, but you didn’t care anymore. You were afraid - and running seemed the only solution.
Anakin was halfway through his second helping of dessert when the wide doors of the dining hall swung open and a small group of the palace guard came into view. The captain who stood ahead of their troop, one which he recognized, scanned the room briefly before his eyes settled on Obi-Wan and Mace Windu. Anakin swiped his lips clean of crème and watched with curiosity as his Master’s posture stiffened.
“This can’t be good,” Obi-Wan mumbled, dotting his beard with his napkin. He pulled his long legs from under the table and over the wooden bench seats, preparing to stand. Mace Windu followed his gaze and stood with a stern gaze fixated on the approaching guards.
“Master Kenobi, Master Windu,” the captain bowed briefly, “there has been an incident in the southern wing of the palace. Senator Amidala has requested your presence immediately.”
“What sort of incident?”
“Part of the palace has been destroyed, sir.”
Obi-Wan and Mace Windu exchanged perturbed glances.
“Destroyed? Are we under attack?” Anakin interjected.
“Hold on, Anakin,” Obi-Wan cautioned, “Let’s not jump to conclusions.”
“It would be best if you just followed us, sir, all three of you.”
Anakin followed a step behind his master and listened intently to the stray details that were being subtly exchanged between the captain and the Jedi masters. He was never one to pay much mind to detail or direction, but he thought the southern wing of the palace might be were his and the other padawans’ quarters were located, including yours.
Obi-Wan’s concerned tone worried Anakin – his master was never one to get unnecessarily excited about things. He wondered if this incident might have anything to do with the disturbance he had sensed during the main course of his meal. Anxious haste quickened his steps as concern for you plagued his young mind.
The voice of Padmé Amidala drew the attention of all three Jedi who had come promptly to the gardens below the southern wing. She quickened her pace to approach them as they drew nearer, picking up her satin skirts to step over the rubble. Shock and confusion were evident in her features, as well as a certain twinge of anger. Who would have done such a thing?
Anakin swallowed hard as he took in the scene before him. The balcony above them, which had crumbled under the impact of the falling columns – which were now half-sunken into the lake’s shallow bank waters - had crushed the greenery of the courtyard and littered stone path at his feet. Puddles of water had begun to drown some of delicate plant life and some flowers had been robbed of their pedals from the sharp spray of water.
“Senator, do we know what caused this destruction?” Obi-Wan crossed his arms, gesturing with an upturned palm towards the sight in front of him.
“There’s still speculation about what happened, but we’re almost sure that someone intentionally compromised the integrity of the columns up there,” Padmé pointed to the balcony that had crumbled into the gardens.
“You mean someone did all of this,” Anakin’s gaze fell over the mess of water and marble rubble around him, “on purpose?”
“Do you have someone in mind?”
“That’s why you’re here,” Padmé’s expression became grim, “I need you all to look at something.”
Anakin nudged pebbles of polished marble into the grass with his boot as he followed closely behind Obi-Wan. Something felt familiar about this area; almost like an imprint of some kind. They each followed Padmé through the open corridor and up the same set of stairs you had fled through a half hour prior, though none of them knew so. When they approached the hall of rooms that was known to house several padawans that frequented Naboo alongside their masters, they each felt unease at what Padmé was about to show them.
Her nimble fingers grasped the knob of one of the doors she approached – and Anakin’s heart dropped. He recognized that door – the one he had followed you through on numerous accounts in the last few months, the one you often hid behind when you felt insecure, the one he knew the grainy pattern of well.
He said nothing as Padmé opened the door and led them inside, hoping beyond all reason that he was wrong. When he stepped through and laid his eyes on the subtle disarray you had left in your panicked escape, he was sure.
Obi-Wan’s stern gaze fell upon the clothes that hung out of open drawers, the untouched bed, and the closet that had been ransacked by the looks of it. Mace Windu followed his friend’s thoughtful gaze with a frown of disapproval at what he saw.
He promptly followed Padmé through the sheer curtains that billowed and out onto what remained of the balcony. It was evident that Mace did not feel what Obi-Wan did – a familiar impression, like he knew someone here, but couldn’t quiet pin the sensation to a name. He kept his observation to himself as he followed his fellow Jedi outside.
Anakin stopped by the white ochre dresser and pulled out one of your tabards you had left behind. Beneath it, he saw one of your old scarves folded neatly. He recognized the subtle pattern of green flora embroidered along pale blue stripes. It was something he had given you nearly seven years earlier from a market on another planet. He marveled at the memories that flooded his min. You had kept it all these years…
Anakin stared at the cloth in his hands as he neared the balcony where Obi-Wan’s voice mingled with Mace Windu’s as they spoke to Padmé.
“Look at these scorch marks,” Obi-Wan was saying, tracing his hand along the perfect cut along the stump of marble.
“The mark of a lightsaber, by the looks of it.” Mace Windu speculated.
“These are (Y/n)’s quarters,” Anakin breathed. Obi-Wan stopped where stood and turned to face his padawan with a questioning expression. Mace Windu bore a look of stern frustration.
“What?”
“Why didn’t you say something before?”
“I had to be sure, but I’ve been in here with her before,” Anakin’s thumb traced over the thread in the scarf, “And I found this in one of the drawers.” He handed the delicate piece of fabric to Obi-Wan, who inspected it with careful contemplation. He looked to Anakin for an explanation.
“I gave it to her during my fourth year as a padawan, when we went to the markets in the lower levels of Coruscant for the first time. I had no idea she kept it this long.”
Obi-Wan could sense the confused pain emanating from his padawan. It brought a sad smile to the man’s features as he handed Anakin the scarf and laid a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “We’ll get to the bottom of this, Anakin. I’m sure there’s a reason for all of this.”
“I, for one, plan to have a talk with my padawan. I apologize, Senator, for the destruction she seems to have caused here today,” Mace Windu’s gruff tone made Padmé feel guilty. She had no intention in blaming you of all people, knowing what Anakin had told her about you being a tender person – especially when they hadn’t any solid proof that it had been you rather than an outside party. “I just don’t understand this! It doesn’t make any sense.”
“We don’t know if it was (Y/n), Master Windu,” Obi-Wan corrected politely, “It could have been an attack for all we know. Has anyone seen her?”
“No one made mention of her when they told the royal guard of the incident.” Padmé added.
“Then we must remain neutral in our accusations before pinning any blame on the girl.”
“Skywalker, would you mind having a look around the palace grounds for my padawan? I don’t feel like being patient for answers today.”
Anakin glanced to Obi-Wan for approval, who nodded promptly. “Go ahead, Anakin. See what you can find out.”
Your heart pounded in your chest as you peered around the corner into the main hangar of the Naboo palace. The place was nearly empty, with only a couple of service droids hunched over engines and huddled by work benches, pittering away at parts and projects. With a deep breath, you straightened your posture and entered the hangar, clutching your satchel to your side. You desperately hoped you were asked no questions by any droids roaming around – you had never been skilled in the art of hurried lies.
You glanced around the hangar in search of a suitable ship while maintaining your most inconspicuous mannerisms. Being a padawan meant you did not have a ship of your own, especially not while visiting another planet. There were starfighters available at home on Coruscant for training maneuvers, and you had flown your share of them in excursions, but you had never had a ship of your own.
Quickly enough, you spotted a small freighter docked in the rear stalls. There were no droids hovering about it and no crew members meddling around inside by the looks of it. It would be perfect for you to get away in – it was small enough to be piloted easily on your own, but there would be ample space inside to make a temporary living space out of.
You skipped a few steps as you quickened your pace, hoping to avoid contact with any curious droids. When you made it to then ship, you went to work on the security panel and bypassed its basic controls with a swipe of your hand, which released the ship’s ramp. While it slowly descended to the ground, you glanced over your shoulder worriedly.
When the ramp clanked onto the ground, you quickly ascended it and made your way to the cockpit. It was big enough for two co-pilots, if you crammed one into the passenger’s stool. The rest of the ship consisted of narrow corridors and two small compartments made for sleeping bunks and storage.
There was little else apart from paneling and hidden hatches for large cargo and canister hauls. The small capacity of the hip made you feel a little less guilty about stealing it.
Less guilty? I’m stealing a ship! How can I be okay with this!? You sucked in a shaky breath, Because my fears are outweighing my conscience.
You dropped your satchel and robe onto the stool and sat in the cockpit, rummaging around the controls to get familiar with them. You glanced out of the main viewport and felt a thrill of relief to find that no one had noticed your boarding – and if they had, they simply didn’t bother to check you for credentials. You flipped switches and listened as the engine warmed itself in the belly of the ship.
While the compressors and internal environment of the ship balanced itself for space travel, you went out into the corridor and began checking for cargo. You may have been desperate enough – afraid enough – to steal a small ship, but you didn’t feel as well about taking someone’s possessions with you.
You had unloaded three large crates of cargo, labeled in various garb, and were sliding down the last tray of tall canisters when a voice echoed across the hangar and sent a sharp twinge of alert through your body. “(Y/n)!”
Anakin.
No! He wasn’t supposed to follow you!
You were supposed to get away before anyone was able to see you – or stop you.
Your eyes met his as he ran towards you with confusion laced in his countenance. You wanted to run up the ramp and lock the hatch, start the engine and get moving. But your body stood still as a tree, unmoving and stiff. You felt like a creature trapped in the lights of a transporter; too stunned to bolt for safety.
"What happened back there!? Are you alright?”
They saw the balcony. They saw my quarters.
You looked behind Anakin to see if your masters were also in pursuit, but found no sign of commotion. When you looked back at him, he was close enough to notice the frantic trembling of your fingertips. You watched as his line of vision strayed from yours and landed on the cargo in front of you. His ears strained to pick up on the low hum of the engine.
“What are you doing?”
“I-…” You swallowed hard.
“Are we going somewhere?”
Oh, Ani.
“No, Anakin, I-I… I have to leave. By myself.”
“Where are you going? Back to Coruscant? What about Master Windu? I don’t think he knows about this! He doesn’t even know where you are, (Y/n). He sent me to look for you!”
“No, Anakin, I’m not going back,”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m not going back to the Order.”
“What?”
You both studied each other’s gaze for a lingering moment. You could sense the deep chasm of hurt you were inflicting upon his heart. It pulsed like an open wound. But what were you supposed to do? There was no going back; there was no fixing what had been done. Didn’t he understand that? And what of your feelings? Couldn’t he feel how much he had broken your heart by shoving your feelings aside as if they were merely ornamental?
“I don’t belong with the Jedi anymore,”
“What!? What do you me- No, no, we can help you, (Y/n),” he drew nearer, making strides towards the cargo you stood behind, “I can help you. Did someone hurt you? Is someone forcing you to do this?”
“No, Anakin! Stay back!” You hold your hand up, stopping him short with your sudden change in tone. His expression mimicked the one he had donned in the hall earlier that evening, when you had done the very same thing. The sting of tears pricked your glistening eyes.
“Did you destroy the balcony?”
You didn’t expect him to ask the question you so feared. The discomfort in your chest swelled as the air felt thinner. Your silence gave Anakin the answer he sought.
“Why?” He breathed.
“I’m not who you all think I am. I’ve been lying to myself for years, Anakin, to everyone!” Your chest heaved beneath your tabard, “Don’t you see? I’m not good anymore!”
“What are you talking about? I’ve known you all my life!”
“Then how could you not know that I loved you!?”
The tension snapped between you in that moment. Silence descended into the air as he struggled to take in your confession and everything that came with it. You felt a sense of relief, having finally been honest with someone other than yourself, but his shock brought a new wave of worry upon you, as well as a certain sense of frustration.
Anakin blinked through his thoughts as they raced in his mind. He repeated your words over a dozen times in his head.
You loved him?
His tongue moistened his lips as his brows drew together and his heartbeat quickened within him - every memory he had with you illuminated with a different color, as if it was blossoming into its full bloom. It was as if, in a mere moment, everything clicked for Anakin.
Your reaction to his confessing his love for Padmé, how it had been entirely out of character; the disturbance he had felt during his meal and the destruction he had found in your quarters; how you had never been able to be close friends with Padmé since your arrival to Naboo; everything.
A lifetime of things, of glances and smiles, of friendship and loyalty – it all made sense.
“(Y/n), please, don’t leave,” Anakin swallowed his tears as he stepped forward and reached out his hand for yours, “I’m sorry. I didn’t- I didn’t know. I thought-”
“Don’t follow me Anakin,” your voice broke as you attempted to assert your anger, “I need to go. I don’t want to do this anymore.”
“You’re just going to leave? After everything? After what you just told me?”
“Yes, Anakin, I am! I’ve spent my entire life loving you! I’ve lived every day in rebellion to a code that was meant to be my very vow and I’ve broken it a thousand times for you!” Your tears spilled freely down your reddening cheeks. “And you never even knew.”
And you didn’t say it back.
Anakin’s ignorance made you furious with him now. You had given him everything, including subconsciously risking your path as a Jedi, and he had never noticed your turmoil about the matter or the sacrifices you had made along the way. How could he have not known? And why had you spent a lifetime loving a ghost?
“But I need you, (Y/n)! I need you here with me!”
“You don’t need me anymore, Anakin,” You turned halfway to the ramp and glanced at the ground, feeling desperately hopeless, “You have Padmé.”
Anakin watched powerlessly as you boarded the ramp, and, in a panic of broken feelings, rushed to your side. When you felt his fingers graze your arm to stop you, you instinctively yanked yourself back and struck your hand forward. Anakin’s body was hurled back into the cargo with harsh momentum. You heard the cargo clatter to the floor and the gathering sounds of alarmed droid speech, but you couldn’t move. You were frozen in shock yet again, staring at your outstretched hand.
In all your efforts to protect him, you had hurt him more than ever.
You took a tentative step toward his groaning body, but halted suddenly when a drowning swell of terror enveloped you. Turning on your heel, you shoved the tray of canisters down the last rut to mobilize the extension cables. They clinked against each other and toppled over, but you couldn’t stop to pick them up.
You bolted back up the ramp and smashed the bright orange button on the control panel, pulling the ramp up and locking it. The echo of your boots on the metal floor of the corridor made your senses clam up. You were overstimulated in every sense of the word.
In just a few seconds, you had the ship prepared for flight, and careened the vessel out of the large stall door behind it. Through the viewport, you could see Anakin get to his feet warily, watching helplessly as you made your escape. You locked eyes for a lingering moment before the freighter gained traction and your guidance led the vessel into the open blue skies. The last Anakin had seen of you that day was the brief streak of blue in the atmosphere left behind from your jump to hyperspace.
Three years later…
“You are on this council, but we do not grant you the rank of Master.”
“What?” Anakin’s gaze followed the line of Jedi seated around him until he landed on Obi-Wan, who seemed slightly unsettled himself, “How can you do this? This is outrageous. It’s unfair! How can you be on the council and not be a Master?!”
“Take a seat, young Skywalker.” Mace Windu commanded. There was a sternness in his gaze that made Anakin uncomfortable – it was the same gaze he had worn on the day he had informed Master Windu of your fleeing. It was a gaze that Anakin felt blamed him.
“Forgive me, Master.” Anakin bowed before he turned and took his seat beside Obi-Wan, who shook his head in quiet disapproval. Anakin ran his hands along his thighs – a habit he had developed in moments of acute adrenaline. He kept his tongue still until the session was concluded; biting his remarks and his plea for equal rank.
However, when Anakin trailed closely behind Obi-Wan as they left the meeting chamber, his tongue could not be stilled any longer.
“What kind of nonsense is this? Put me on the council and not make me a Master? It’s never been done in the history of the Jedi! It’s insulting!”
“Oh, calm down, Anakin! You have been given a great honor,” Obi-Wan chided, “To be on the council at your age; it’s never happened before!”
Anakin’s nostrils flared and his frustration swelled and evened with an uneven current within him. Obi-Wan stopped beside him, pulling his padawan’s attention close to him.
“The fact of the matter is the council does not believe you have fully recovered from the emotional shock of (Y/n)’s disappearance. You were close friends, perhaps closer than Master Windu and I should have allowed,”
Anakin looked at his Master and wondered if he knew what you had told him that day in the hanger, but he had never told a soul about what had been said that day. Did Obi-Wan and the others know you had loved him all those years? Or did he simply mean the attachment of friendship between young companions?
“But you needed someone your age to help you adapt to this way of life, of that I am sure. But I do not think you have yet let go of that attachment, Anakin, even as her friend. She’s not coming back – it is only hindering you from your path. We mustn’t hold on to things like this. It is not the Jedi way.”
“You think so little of my ability to stay loyal to the code? It’s nice to know that the council enjoys their gossip rather than directly discussing the matter.”
“Anakin! That’s not what –“
“(Y/n) has nothing to do with this. I forgot about her a long time ago, just as the rest of you should.” Anakin turned and resumed his steps along the red carpet of the temple foyer.
He couldn’t believe this! The council would rather discuss such intimate matters behind his back rather than address them directly?! What other secrets were they keeping from him?
“Anakin,” Obi-Wan took large strides to catch up to his padawan, “We are concerned for your wellbeing! This is not an attack on your nobility or your strength! It is merely a matter that must be considered before you are granted more responsibility. We must be sure you are ready!”
“If you and the rest of the council would stop deciding things for me and stop treating me like a child, you would understand that I want nothing more than to follow the code!”
“And what of the Chancellor, Anakin?”
Anakin listened as his Master relayed the plan that the Jedi council wished for him to carry out. He was to stay close to the Chancellor, despite the council’s wary mistrust of him, and spy on him from an intimate distance. He couldn’t believe his ears – or the same familiar feelings of distrust and confusion that followed such a request.
“You wanted to see me, Chancellor?”
Anakin knelt by Chancellor Palpatine’s seat in his box seat at the Galaxies Opera House, where an entrancing display of ballet was being portrayed in “Squid Lake”. The Chancellor, he knew, often enjoyed the theater arts. Anakin watched for a moment as orbs of water floated about the room in a slow, rhythmic motion.
Soon, he was alone there with him, listening intently to the words that Palpatine had to offer. In minutes, he found himself doubting not only the Council and his own Master, but the Jedi as a whole. Were they really all that noble?
“I have to admit, my trust in them has been shaken.”
“Why?” Palpatine’s eyes landed on Anakin’s face, studying his tormented expression with a hidden sense of satisfaction, “They asked you to something that made you feel dishonest, didn’t they?”
Anakin lifted his eyes to meet his for a brief moment. His shame told him everything he needed to know. Still, he pressed.
“They asked you to spy on me, didn’t they?”
He watched as Anakin shifted uncomfortable in his seat, trying to decide on a response that would not betray his superiors, but also remain honest.
“I don’t, uh- I don’t know what to say.”
“Remember back to your early teachings; all who gain power are afraid to lose it.”
“The Jedi use their power for good.”
“Good is a point of view, Anakin,” Palpatine turned his gaze back to the performance, “Think back on your dear friend, what was her name?”
“(Y/n)?” Anakin breathed. He was surprised that the Chancellor had thought to bring you up – he hadn’t been very privy to you while you had been present alongside Master Windu, at least not in any way that was obvious.
“Ah, yes,” the cunning man nodded, “She was a fine padawan from what I knew of her. She was the one that welcomed you on your first arrival to Coruscant, was she not? Mm, it’s a shame that her own Master and the code meant to keep her safe was the very thing that drove her away. You see, Anakin, the Jedi believe what they will of good and evil. But even your friend, as devoted as she was, could not find in herself to abandon her own morals to adhere to their demands. Maybe she knew something we do not, hm? Perhaps that Jedi are not so different from the Sith and their quest for greater power,”
“Oh, well, no matter,” Palpatine concluded, knowing full well that it mattered a great deal to Anakin, “Have you ever heard of the tragedy of Darth Plageus the Wise?”
That night, Anakin sank into the cushions of the sofa late that evening in the lounge of his and Padmé’s shared chambers, suddenly overwhelmed by the tragic turn of events that had tainted the last few years of his life. How was it that he had come to feel overwhelmed with the same sense of abandonment and distrust as he had when you had left him.
Somewhere between the chaos that ravaged his mind, he felt Padmé's gentle hand came to rest on his shoulder as her weight dipped in the cushion next to him. Her thumb caressed the woven stitching of his dark tabard in an attempt to soothe him. He wanted to find comfort in her touch, but something about it made his skin prickle with annoyance.
His own reaction confused him - usually, the touch of his wife comforted him and brought him an overwhelming sense of peace. It had always been that way with Padmé. But now, after everything they had been through since your disappearance, there was something Anakin could no longer hide away within himself.
You had broken his heart.
And he wished that it was your touch grazing his shoulder.
He wished it had been you all along.
P.S. My dear readers, I didn’t want to part ways on a sad note! I know this was a sad one, but please don’t give in to the dark side of real life! You deserve joy, love, and happiness. We are not our mistakes. We have a choice to let ourselves heal and embark on our passions and purposes in life. If one dream doesn’t work, whether it be a thing or a person, that’s okay. Who says we’re only allowed one dream?
Don’t let the words of a dark seducer sway your place in the world to instill goodness and peace. Do your part to heal the world in a way only you can. At the end of the day, this is just a story and is written for entertainment purposes, and it doesn’t reflect on you or me personally in a condemning fashion.
In fact, we can take from these sad turns in storytelling narratives and glimpse into a future in which we allow our enemy to overcome us and trick us into believing we’re too far gone!
But there is always a second chance for a sincere heart and often times more chances than that. Never listen to the voices that tell you you’ve gone too far to rescue. We can make our own choices and find healing and spread love. I find that healing in my faith in Jesus, so perhaps you can find it too. <3
P.P.S. Some fluffy Anakin fics are coming to make up for this one (not immediately, but as soon as I get some Anakin inspo), don’t worry!
Wouldn’t Change A Thing (Modern Anakin x Reader) Pt.1
This is my new Anakin Skywalker x Reader series! I hope y’all like it!
Also, this format was very much inspired by @teaspacebar‘s Ben Solo x Reader series called I See You. Go check it out because it’s amazing. Why are you here? Read her story. Mine sucks.
Anyway, this one is kinda short, but I hope you enjoy it.
Do I Know You? - Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker x Reader {Part. I}
a/n: an alternate universe/timeline!au fic! this is the first part, the second part is in the works!
summary: Where Darth Vader is sent on a mission and finds himself traveling through another timeline and meets another version of you where you aren't dead.
part II: Do I Know You? II
"I am going to have a few words with you once I get back Sheev..." Vader thought to himself. His large frame was trapped in a tiny capsule that was rapidly moving downwards onto the surface of Tatooine.
His master had sent him to retrieve the Death Star plans on a rebel ship when all of sudden, the rebels managed to crowd him into this tiny capsule and drop him out of the ship.
There was a faint beeping heard below him. He looked down at his hand and noticed a device strapped on the back of his hand. Those damn rebels. Vader toyed with the device, hoping to shut off the beeping, but the beeping increased and flashed the words on the device:
Coruscant, 20 BBY
"Huh?" He thought to himself once again, what could this possibly mean? The light above him began flashing red. Out of the small window of the capsule, the dark space soon turned into a blue clouded sky. The Sith Lord let out a sign of frustration, how the hell did I get into this position?
The capsule came to an abrupt stop when it had landed on the ground, sending the Sith Lord face forward into the door. Vader groaned to himself. The door slid open, revealing a dark alleyway, similar to the alleyways in the Underworld in Coruscant.
Vader walked out of the capsule, turning around to admire the machine that the rebels had managed to squeeze him in. Interesting... The Sith Lord thought to himself before making his way towards the dimly lit streets of Coruscant.
The people off the streets eyed the tall, towering figure as Vader strolled along the sidewalks of the Underworld.
"Do you want to buy some deathsticks?" A Rodian man said as he approached the tall dark figure with death sticks in his hands. To which Vader took a step back and eyed the man.
"No..." He let out, debating on whether to take the deathsticks or not. This day was already terrible as is with how everything had gone.
"Are you sure? You'll have a great time-" Vader raise his hand, force choking the reptilian humanoid.
"I would rather not you pest. Now, you will go home and rethink your life."
"I-I will to go home and rethink my life." The man nodded up and down. Vader released his grasp, allowing the Rodian to scramble away from him.
There was whispering and murmurs from other onlookers, witnessing what the Sith Lord just did.
"Did he just use the force?"
"You saw that right?
"Do you think he's one of those Jedi?"
The Sith Lord looked around the people who backed away from him. Pathetic, he thought. He needed to find Palpatine and tell him that mission was a failure, the rebels had gotten away, and he was unable to get the plans. Meaning, that there will be a severe punishment waiting for him once he returns to his Master.
Vader walked into the nearest club and approached the Twi'lek bartender, hoping to find a speeder or station to get him out of here.
"Where is there nearest station? I need to get to the Emperor. 5127th level." Vader said to Twi'lek man who had just gotten done serving a drink to a customer.
"Emperor? Where on Hoth did you come from? Do you mean the Chancellor?" The man questioned, throwing his towel over his shoulder.
Vader sat in brief silence, thinking to himself, Chancellor? He could have sworn Sheev didn't go by that name anymore.
"Y-Yes, the Chancellor...Do you know where I can find him." Vader finally let out, after moments of awkward silence.
"Well, you won't have much of chance finding her. She's either too busy in her office or helping the people clear the debris that was left from the Clone Wars ever since the previous Chancellor was killed."
"She...? How strange." Vader said to himself. "And remind me, what is the name of the Chancellor is again?"
"Kriff dude, did your head get smack with a bunch of Ewoks throwin' rocks at it?" The man questioned, now cleaning cups with his towel.
Vader sat in silence again, staring down at the man. Debating on whether he should have killed his man sooner, or wait until he got a response. Luckily, he chose the latter.
"Chancellor Y/N L/N is her name. She was the former Senator of Naboo before she was elected right after Chancellor Palpatine's death. There's rumors that she had a fling with a Jedi Knight, by the name of Anakin Skywalker-"
"Tell me. Where is she." Vader said, his tone revealing his impatience.
"Woah woah, don't you want me to finish telling-"
"Where is the nearest station. I will find her myself." He stated.
"O-okay fine. The nearest station is quite a distance. But we do have this old speeder at the back of-"
Before the bartender could finish, Vader had already made his way out of the club and around to the back to the speeder. Chancellor Y/N? It couldn't be possible. You were dead, but he needed to see it for himself.
-
"Your Majesty, do you think-"
"Who cares, she has already told you how she felt-"
"Oh I wasn't talking to you-"
The doors of my office slide open, revealing Obi-Wan with a tray that had two cups on it. I smiled at him, to which he returned. But that smile soon turned into concern as he looked over at my two handmaidens who were having a little dispute.
"Are they still fighting about it?" Obi-Wan said, approaching me and handing me a cup of warm tea.
"Yes, yes they are." I responded, sipping and savoring the earthy taste of the tea.
"Chancellor! Chancellor!" A voice from outside my office called. I looked up at Obi-Wan who looked down at me. The doors to my office slid open, revealing Cal?
"Cal? What's the matter?" I said, now standing up from my chair and making my way towards him.
"T-There's. there's someone looking for you. We don't know who o-or what their name is." He breathed out, trying to catch his breath. "I'm just gonna take a seat here." before plopping himself on the loveseat.
"Astra, could you grab Cal a glass of water please?" Both my handmaidens stopped their bickering and turned to look at me.
"Y-yes of course your Majesty." Astra bowed, both handmaidens leaving the three of us in my office. I turned back to Cal with concern.
"Cal, take a moment to catch your breath. Now, what is this you heard of someone needing me?" I asked him, taking a seat next to him on the loveseat, my hand resting on his shoulder.
"Of course Chancellor. There are talks in the Underworld, that there is this dark figure, who I think is a force-user, is looking for you... I don't know if he's from another planet or something, but there's something off about that thing." Cal spoke, still breathless from running to get to my office.
"Thing?" I furrowed my eyebrows at his words. I looked up at Obi-Wan who was standing next to Cal, caressing his beard in thought.
"Well, it could be a droid of some sort. The thing sounds mechanical." Cal continued, gnawing at his lips nervously.
"Interesting Cal, do we perhaps have another other information of the individual?" Obi-Wan inquired.
"N-No Master, but I felt this dark energy from him. Almost as if it was evil, pure evil." Cal responded. He pulled out his holoprojector, showing footage of a tall dark mysterious figure force choking an innocent bystander.
Obi-Wan and I looked at each other before looking back at the hologram.
"He doesn't look like he would be friendly. Perhaps we may need to take action and find what this individual wants to do with you." Obi-Wan said, still stroking his beard. I thought to myself. How strange, what could I have possibly done that I was involved with this individual?
"We may need to tighten up security among the people and the rest of the sovereign powers. I don't want to draw too much attention to this. I already have much going on. Perhaps I'll bring this up to the Jedi council tomorrow morning and see what they think." I said sighing to myself, as I walked over to the large window that overlooked beautiful skies of Coruscant.
Obi-Wan nodded in agreement, Cal sat there looking between us.
-
The skies of Coruscant were pitch black, but littered with stars in the sky. The Sith Lord arrived at the small landing pad with his airspeeder, just outside of a familiar penthouse. The penthouses and apartments in Coruscant were always open air. Since they were high up in the skies, the only way to get in was with an airspeeder or the elevators to the buildings. So it was fairly easy for Vader to walk into your penthouse without needing to break a sweat.
The Sith Lord made his way into the penthouse. The lights of every room were turned off, except for one. Light faintly emitted from a set of closed doors, assuming that was your room, Vader made a beeline towards your bedroom doors.
Even with his ultraviolet and infrared vision, it was still limited to where Vader missed the Jedi that was hidden behind one of the large pillars of the penthouse.
"You're not welcomed here. You are trespassing a politician's home and I advise you to leave this instant." A familiar voice spoke up.
"I will not leave until I see her, the Chancellor." The Sith Lord turned around, but did not see anyone behind him. Vader turned back around only to be met with Obi-Wan with his hand on the hilt of lightsaber.
"M-Master..." Vader let out, only for Obi-Wan to quirk an eyebrow at him.
"Do we know each other?" Obi-Wan responded, his hand still resting upon his saber.
"Master, it's me... Anakin Skywalker." Vader spoke out to his former Master.
"Foolish nonsense, Anakin Skywalker is dead." Obi-Wan stated.
Both the Sith Lord and Master Jedi eyed each other, waiting on who would make the first move. After moments of deafening silence, Vader took off his helmet. Revealing his burnt, scarred face, and yellow Sith eyes. Obi-Wan watch him in disbelief, taking a step back from the Sith.
"Obi? Obi-Wan are you there? Who are you talking to in there?" Your voice was muffled on the other side of your door. Anakin's desperate eyes darted over to Obi-Wan and to your door, hoping he'll say something.
"Y-yes Y/N! No worries, it was just a false alarm! It was just a hawk-bat!" Obi-Wan shouted.
"If you say so Obi. I'm heading to bed now!" You shouted in response. The light emitting from your bedroom doors shut off, leaving the entirety of the penthouse dark and only for the Coruscant moonlight to shine through the large windows.
Obi-Wan shook his head and sighed to himself. "You have some nerve for showing up here. And to say that you are Anakin Skywalker? Ludicrous." He spat at Vader.
authors note: y'all can't stop me from writing unburnt/vader fics
summary: your husband, Lord Vader, is awfully cold towards you. Until one day, he begins to open up to you
"Let me into your heart..." You begged to your husband, whose backside faced you. His large frame faced the large window to your shared bedroom. "Can't you see my devotion to you? How much I-"
"Silence!" Vader barked, already growing annoyed at your words. You quickly shut yourself up, furrowing your eyebrows in frustration at him now. It had been 6 months since you had wed the Emperor's right hand man. From the start of the marriage, you had been nothing but a loyal wife who cared for him, despite him not showing his feelings for you in return.
As a former princess, your parents had stressed that you needed to learn how to be the ideal wife for your future husband ever since you were young. They had enrolled you into sewing classes and medical classes, believing that these traits would serve you well. Your mother had taught you to cook as well. She had always said that the fastest way to a man's heart was his stomach, and that meant that you had a cook a feast fit for king, and in this case, it was your husband, Lord Vader.
The efforts you had went through to show Vader your faithfulness to him were tiresome. At first, you had convinced yourself he just didn't know how to express his feelings towards you, but you were delusional. You now beginning to think he simply wasn't interested in you, but you wouldn't give up on him, and you didn't know why.
Even if you felt lonely, you knew the purpose of your marriage was to serve the Sith Lord, and only him. At times, you find had yourself missing your parents, your people, and being on a physical planet. You hated living on the Death Star, the grey interior sucked the life out of you. It didn't help that you could only stare into the dark and vast universe that had surrounded you.
-
Vader had sensed that you had been feeling distressed and had offered you a getaway in one of the luxurious penthouses on Coruscant, to which you happily took him on that offer, hoping that he would also join you the duration you were there. Unfortunately, he would only be there for a few days before the Emperor had requested his presence in the outer rim territories.
On the second night of your luxurious stay at the large penthouse, you began to do one of the many activities that helped you ease your mind: cooking. The two guards whom you had gave the task to retrieve your groceries had returned. Vader had entrusted them to look after you while he was gone for the time being.
After putting the groceries in their rightful place, you began prepping the ingredients for some bivoli tempari with a side of calamari chowder. Cooking was an escape for you; you didn't have to worry about anyone or anything else as you let your mind and hands wander, it felt like second nature to you.
The oven beeps, telling you that the bivoli tempari had finished baking. You finished setting the utensils on the table for you and the two guards, you thought that they could accompany you and that they would probably enjoy this meal better than the cafeteria food on the Death Star. They were a bit hesitant at first, perhaps worried that Darth Vader could walk in at any given moment, knowing that he wouldn't like the idea of his guards getting close to his wife.
To your surprise, the two guards were very easy to talk to. You discovered that their names were Knox and Adam, both very simple men who had the goal to fulfill their duty and were passionate about the Empire. You began to feel at ease, feeling more comfortable in the penthouse after having dinner with the two soldiers.
-
On the fifth day of your stay, Vader had surprised you by showing up two days earlier than his expected date. The doors to the elevator revealed a Vader in critical condition, you rush over to him, dragging him into the living room to patch him up. This wasn't the first time you had to patch him up. There were times your husband would come into your chambers injured after a mission. Other times he would wake you up to help him put on a batch patch on his back, but this time, he needed more than that. What felt natural to you, you began strip him of his black clad armor to get to the wounds.
"The...The helmet." He said weakly, his modulated breathing was hitched. Your eyes widen at his request, you had never seen him without his helmet before. Your hands were shaky as they slowly made their way to undoing the outer shell of the helmet, lifting it up from the neck gaiter.
"Maker..." You whispered under your breath, eyes widening at how gorgeous the man that sat in front of you was. His yellow colored eyes met your e/c orbs. His sandy curls were damp from the sweat he accumulated during combat. Your husband's hitched breathing brought you back to reality as you began to analyze his body from injuries.
He had a large gash on his left shoulder and ribs. You run into the kitchen to retrieve your medical box, now opening it on the table you began to work on him right away.
The atmosphere between the both of you was silent, but tense. Not a single word was muttered, other than Vader's occasional hisses of pain when you applied some bacta ointment on his wounds. An hour had passed while you had patched your husband up, without thinking, your e/c orbs met his as you cup his cheek with your hand.
"I'll make some soup to make you feel better hun." You kissed his forehead before walking back into the kitchen. It was in your nature to be nuturing, it was perhaps one of your best attributes that many people loved about you. For Vader, he hated it. He hated how caring you were, despite all the things he had put you through, you were forgiving and still cared for him. He felt he didn't deserve the woman like you.
Vader remained on the couch, his hands in his head, still stunned at what you did. It was the first time you had touched him, the first time you kissed him in way that made the butterflies in his stomach flutter.
A feminine hum shook him out of his thoughts, when he turned around, he was met with your backside torwards him. You were swaying your hips, as you hummed along to one of your favorite artists, Kuma Marden.
Vader couldn’t help but stare in awe, the corner of his mouth twitching into a small smile at you immersed into the music as you cooked. He didn't know what overcame him, but he knew he couldn't just sit there helplessly as you cooked.
“Allow me to help you my dear.” Your eye slightly widen at his suggestion, before you quickly nodded at him. Vader raises his hand toward the cupboards where the silverware and plates were. Using the force, Vader motioned the now, floating utensils and plates into the direction of the dinner table. You chuckled at Vader’s helpfulness as he carefully set the table with the use of the force.
“Take a seat darling, dinner is almost ready.” Your soft, yet gentle voice rung through his ears. With a screech from the chair, Vader plopped himself down in the chair that was head of the table. You made your way over to him, holding bowl containing some sort of stew that was steaming hot. Vader’s stomach rumbled at the sight of the bowl in front of him. It had been years since he had last seen something this appetizing.
With his hunger gnawing at him, Vader dug into the hearty stew. Glancing over at your husband, you couldn’t help but smile at his hastiness, before returning your focus on layering some jogan fruit on the purple-filled tart. The sound of the spoon hitting the table had made you nervous. “What’s wrong? Do you not like it dear?” You stopped in your tracks, whipping your head where your husband sat, growing nervous at his response.
"This is...This is very delicious my dear." He uttered out before digging back in. You let out a sigh of relief, smiling to yourself, content that you were able to satisfy your husband. What you didn't know, memories had began flooding into Vader's mind. The stew you had made had a familiar taste, if not the exact same taste of a soup his mother had made for him when he was a youngling.
"Well, make sure you leave some room for dessert then honey." You reply, slicing a piece of the jogan tart and plating for him. You place the plate in front of him. Realizing your husband was still shirtless, you go fetch one of his black robes that hung in the closet in the bedroom.
You had just missed the look on his face. Vader loved jogan fruit, and for it to be in tart form? Even better. He began scarfing down the dessert the moment you had turned your back.
Returning to the dining room, you see Vader washing away the plates he had just finished eating off from. Noticing you out the corner of his eye, he turned off the sink, wiping his hands dry on one of kitchen towels. You make your way over to him, helping him put on his black robe. He turns around to face you, allowing you to tie his robe altogether.
Sensing his gaze on you, you look up to him and give him a small smile before walking away to finish cleaning up, not giving him the chance to thank you for the dinner. Vader stood there, slightly hurt at your action.
The both you spent your evening winding down separately from each other. He could swear you were force sensitive or something, especially whenever he walked into a room you were in, you were quick to pardon yourself into a different room. He was getting just a tad bit annoyed, was he really that awful to stare at? Was he really that intimidating for you to be around?
He had found you in bed, sitting against the headboard, reading away at one of your books. Vader removes his robe and throws it on the vanity chair, leaving himself shirtless. Still immersed in your book, you feel the bed dip next to you, as your husband lets out a sigh of content after getting into a comfortable position.
For once, you sensed that your husband was finally opening up to you. Never did you ever see his face before going to bed or waking up. He had always made sure you didn't catch a glimpse of his actual face, maybe he was afraid of what your reaction would be.
You could feel his eyes burning through your skull. Beginning to feel uncomfortable under his gaze, you decided to speak up.
"How was your day hun?" Attempting to ease the awkwardness that had formed between the both of you. He didn’t respond, but you felt him grab your right hand that had been resting on your side. He began tracing your palm of your hand with his metal pointer finger, making you look over at him.
Now that he had your attention, your eyes lock on each other, your breath hitches at his intense yellow eyes.
"Sometimes I don't appreciate you enough my darling." He whispered to you. You were taken aback at his words, never did he speak such words to you, or just speak to you in general.
"Those rebels really got you messed up today don't they?" You poke at him, recalling that his physical state a couple of hours ago. Vader chuckled at your words.
"You could think that...But I mean it, really." His sincerity showing through.
You shut your book and place on the nightstand, unsure what to say to him. You couldn't run away from him this time.
"Perhaps you should get some rest." You suggest, wanting to avoid where the conversation was leading to. Turning off the lamp, you lay down on your side, your back facing him now.
Vader was starting to grow upset at your dismissive behavior, but he knew why you were acting this way. He had realize how cold he had been to you since the start of your arranged relationship. He never wanted this, but of course the Emperor had forced this upon him. He knew one day you would be collateral damage if something were to go wrong.
The past few months, Vader had been dealing with some inner turmoil. Conflicted with the idea of falling in love, the idea of falling in love with you. But now, he was desperate for your attention, deprived of it. Without thinking, Vader moved closer to you, wrapping his arms around your waist.
At first, he could feel how tense you were, but you soon relaxed in the comfort of his large, strong arms. Your heart was beating fast against your ribcage. Vader was never physical with you, but you couldn't help but enjoy this very moment. Everything you had wanted to him to do, you were given it tonight. You knew it would take time for him to come around. Realizing your actions may have been hurtful to him, you turn around and face him.
“Perhaps I was too little rude to you.” You whisper to him. Your hand cupping his cheek.
“You don’t need to apologize for anything.” He cupped your cheek, his thumb gentle grazing the bottom of your lip. “May I?”
“Y-you may.” You breathlessly let out. His lips finding its way to yours.
His lips were soft against your plush lips. You pull away from him, trying to process what had happened. You rest your forehead on his, trying to catch your breath.
“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting you to do that.” You murmur, now resting your head on his chest, your arms snaking around his torso, tightly embracing him.
Vader couldn’t help smile to himself at your words. As you began to slip into your slumber, he couldn’t help but comb his fingers through your hair before dozing off himself. Perhaps he should keep you around longer.
