Sherlock can't hate Mary because how can he hate someone who loves John? John deserves all the love in the world. But out of the two people who love John, he chose Mary, not Sherlock.And maybe Sherlock thinks it's okay, it's better this way because maybe Mary is better for John, safer, maybe John can have a life he deserves, a life Sherlock could never give John. (Had Mary shot John instead of Sherlock, Sherlock would have killed her right there on the spot. But she didn't, she shot him instead and that's okay, because it's her John chose, not Sherlock. Sherlock is not enough, Sherlock left John and in a way made John chose Mary and it's all his fault anyways. He should have done better,been better, he deserved that bullet.) But in this moment, when John asks "Why is she like that? She isn't supposed to be like that" Sherlock's heart breaks into so many tiny pieces, and he regret, regrets so much. Because no, Mary isn't better for John, he, Sherlock is better for John but it's too late, it's too damn late because JOHN CHOSE MARY instead and there is nothing Sherlock can do.
