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So… while sick yesterday I forgot to officially call out of work, only texting my boss that I might miss work the next day, on Wednesday.

But like… I never officially called out.

She doesn’t seem mad at me… but I definitely fucked up a little.

Oops.

I’ll do better next time!

#girl failure #more girl less failure #transfem #trans girl #dyke #trans woman #working #autistic #sick #life is fucking up #and learning

my uni introduction to 18th-19th c british literature was taught by a prof who is firmly from the edward said school of thought, so now i literally can't look at 18th-19th c british lit without going "🔍🔍🔍 I SMELL OCCIDENTALISM-ORIENTALISM"

#chelle.txt #sowwy that this is the only thing i feel confident talking about in my essays </3 #actually no i am not sorry. i love edward said and i love my old prof #i have two of my prof's essays printed and i just keep them in my school bag for strength and fortitude #and learning #and referencing #yayy

I’m actually finding myself growing very far detached from pointless gossip and hate. And I mean this not really in the fandom sense that stuff can breed conversation and I don’t really mind it, and I also know how to step back if I feel like it’s consuming me.

But I’m talking about ppl who really just haven’t grown as a person. Like it’s exhausting being around ppl who only ever got something negative to say about themselves or about somebody else. Like ppl who don’t do nothing to them, aren’t even really in their lives. Ppl tbh don’t know, and just making assumptions and judging them based off the little knowledge they actually have.

Like I’ve set a boundary where I don’t want to entertain the gossip. Unless it’s privy to me and is something that will affect me or someone I care about, I don’t see a reason to talk about it. People who come from a place of entitlement, who think they are owed something. Ppl who are only ever nice to certain ppl but mean to everyone else. And if they are talking about this person to you they likely are probably doing the same with someone else about me. Like it’s actually really sad that you can’t have a conversation with someone without it being about judging or talking about how someone else is living their life like what does it matter??

Idk, it’s just the vibes I was getting at work too with my first time like if I don’t join in and gossip with everyone else they start to shut you out or make you feel like you’re weird cuz you don’t wanna dig into it. LIKE I LOVE CHISME I mean I’ll be so for real but I don’t like being in a position where I feel like I have judge or make fun of someone I don’t even know. Especially because I’m not better than anyone else to be talking like that. Like idk, it’s something that’s been eating at me cuz it’s hard to escape it in real life? I kind of just change the subject or even just ask why it’s important that we discuss this.

#ooc. // 𝐛𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐝𝐢𝐚 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐬 #like even with my siblings it’s getting too much #like I told myself I wasn’t gonna involve myself I. my parents marriage #and it’s a topic they all love to talk about #now when it’s brought up I just start shutting it down #it is what it is cuz I literally just can’t with it anymore #none of them are ever gonna change and I don’t wanna stay stuck #I want more for myself than all that #like I know I probably sound like a hater all th time lmao #but I’m really not #I just am still growing #and learning #and not letting shit slide anymore #and honestly the way that helps me to grow is to talk about it #even if no one’s really listening it helps me

I love being a tiny human on a big earth under a big sky. I love being alive to learn and create. The world is full of stars for me to draw constellations with. I'm going to drink in every moment of it. peace and love

#my posts #I need to escape so bad #society why #like I literally get why #but :/#I don't want to need money #what I need is rest #and learning #and creating #and conversing #realm #fav

Theory: Macaque is partly the reason Wukong sucks at communicating with MK

Don't get me wrong, the Monkey King just straight up sucks at talking things out, but I don't think Macaque helped.

We don't know how long they knew each other before the Brotherhood but we can assume it was long before that point. He almost seems to be a relationship that mimics not just friendship but an informal mentee-mentor one as well.

Wukong is a natural leader, loud and charismatic where Macaque clearly is confident but prefers to be his 'shadow'.

He's more like a right hand monkey to Wukong, but their relationship isn't necessarily defined in that way, or at all. The two have no trouble speaking their minds or messing around so there is definitely a mutual respect. Wukong doesn't necessarily listen to Macaque, though this doesn't seem to really upset him, nor does it seem to bother him that Wukong treats him as something like a younger brother (or whatever) where he expects him to just always be there and to go along with his wild plan of the day.

If you look at it as a Mentor/Mentee situation, their fight might look a little different relating to modern day.

Macaque finally breaks and now that Wukong HAS to listen, he tells him exactly how he screwed up, not with the Jade Emp fight but with him, specifically. Wukong is angry too, but once Macaque leaves, his anger doesn't seem to linger.

I think he listened, and we can tell in modern day. And not necessarily in a good way. Wukong withholds a lot from MK. He doesn't treat MK as an equal until the end of S4. He holds him at bay, and focuses on their mentor/mentee and friendship relationship. Macaque had made him realize that he'd ignored his best friend's 'military' guidance because he'd taken his friendship for granted rather than seeing him as his right hand man. Wukong doesn't want to hear that from MK, wants him to remain MKs hero rather than equal that he would have to listen to, because he failed so badly with Macaque and can't really open himself up to that kind of potential to fail so badly again. He was afraid MK might turn on him or fail him like Macaque did, and he might get MK hurt by not letting him help.

However - when MK and Macaque retrieve Wukong from the scroll, the two have their little non-verbal exchange and after that point Wukong changes his angle on teamwork. His guilty conscious probably got a kick start from the Samadhi fire thing and failed LBD fight, and after spending so much time in the scroll alone reliving his mistakes and subsequently getting Macaques forgiveness or approval or whatever that was, he was finally ready to swallow that fear of screwing up his relationship with MK and to work with everyone else.