I really thought it was a good experience for my first university paper while I was in the hall writing it. I mean, I got the paper and I felt like the mcqs were far better than the models and I really had hope ok.
Essays were shoulder joint and cerebrum. Cerebrum was a bouncer which sort of threw me off guard but I attempted it the best I could.
3 of the other short essays were new to me. New as in unexpected. Like you see them and you js go through them superficially thinking, "nah not this" cause there are other higher yield topics.
Overall I was happy while writing the exam but then I came out and my friends were all upset and I was like "but it was better than we thought"
Then we discussed the mcqs and I calculated 13/ 20 which is js so bad for something I specifically labelled as 'easy' and all my friends got more. Like it's js frustrating cause I really tried.
One of my friends who didn't study the whole year, who got 5/20 for her mcqs in the models literally a month back scored more which really is making me feel stuck in time. Like theres all this movement around me and I'm moving too but I'm js moving in circles in the same place.
next part of maomao inspired reader and senku content will be my next post trust, the next part just keeps getting longer... i hope you guys like long fics...
@finitevoid here bb have some heart hotel being weird for each other. <3
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Something has been wrong with him for years now.
Sora figured; well, he figured that it was the price to pay, you know? He’d had Kairi’s Heart, a Keyblade that unlocked Hearts, and– no time to come up with some other game plan. At fourteen, young and inexperienced and panicked, so, so panicked, he’d been driven by losing one friend and the need to have Kairi living and breathing and seeing him again.
So he stabbed himself. He still has a mark from it, a sunken indent over his heart where the blade had broken– flesh, or something else. Sora’s pretty sure there wasn’t any other action he would’ve taken at the time.
He’s not sure there was any other action to take.
Actions have consequences. Outside of his brief time lost in the Darkness, there were other things that lingered, and lingered, and lingered.
He felt so empty after coming back. A big, yawning chasm in his chest, like something had gone that wasn’t supposed to go. Now, he knows what that is. He knows it was Ven’s absence, he knows– ha. Sora knows that adjusting to a life without him is really hard. It’s really hard, even when Ven is only inches away from him. Even when he can see him smiling.
It’s just an adjustment, though. Hard, not impossible. He’s learning to live with it, just like Ven is learning to live again, and that’s okay. He can look at the boy who carved out a space inside of Sora for most of his life, and the pangs of longing to hold him that much closer aren’t too bad.
That yawning chasm in his chest doesn’t ache so much these days. Closing over, shrinking down. It probably won’t ever go away, not completely, but it’s better. It’s worth it, to hear Ven call out for his Second Chance in that bubbly sweet tone. To watch him approach and hold open his arms, sure that Ven would be as close as he could be in– seconds. Less than.
If that was the worst of it, Sora would be okay. He’s sure he’d be fine. So he wants to hug Ven sometimes? Who cares if, sometimes, he’d rather not let go? Ven loves hugs. He’s fine if Sora’s a bit clingy.
That, he can deal with.
The other feeling isn’t nearly so accommodating.
Bad after Hollow Bastion. Worse, somehow, after his year long sleep. Sora can’t remember the last time someone looked at him without his first instinct being to cover himself somehow. Hide. Stop them from seeing, everything.
It’s like he came back wrong, somehow. Too… out there. Too exposed. He doesn’t feel extra cold, or hot, or anything– but he feels naked. Completely bare to the eyes of everyone around him. It drives him insane, sometimes. Bad enough when it’s someone he trusts, it’s always worse when it's someone he doesn’t. The Organization, Xehanort. They looked at him and Sora could feel himself bristle, because who were they to see him like this? Who said they could?
Who said they should see everything?
And it doesn’t make sense, not for a really long time. Because he comes back feeling awful, but after that long sleep, it’s worse. It’s agony. He’s not just bare, he’s vulnerable. Like he’s inside out; like all the pieces that should be on the inside of him have been taken out. Muscles and skin and organs all dangling in open air, perfectly functional and yet, not where they should be.
Everyone says he’s a little more aggressive, that year. A little more violent. He has to be. Sora has to be, because something is wrong with him, in a way that feels like even a strong breeze could knock him down. In a way that makes every gesture in his direction feel like a threat, because it just takes one touch. One, wrong touch, and his entire being will collapse like a house of cards. Outside in, not inside out.
And that feels wrong. That feels wrong, it feels wrong, it feels wrong.
Then he meets Roxas, and it finally makes sense. It makes so much sense, when all he wants to do is– hide. In him. In Roxas. Crawl down his throat, or something. Make a home for himself in his Nobody’s chest.
Roxas steps in front of Sora, a lot. It's a relief. Not so exposed, for once. Hidden. It feels right. Someone jokes about Sora having been the heart of this whole operation, and Roxas bristles. He looks ten seconds away from starting a war over it, like the words alone are a grievous offence. It's Sora, grabbing the back of his cloak, that stops him. Gives him something else to focus on, which is– not going anywhere. Not moving away.
When their eyes meet Sora wants to follow those eyes right into the back of Roxas' skull, just so he can crawl his way down from there. The urge is mortifying, weird. He couldn't voice it if he tried.
He doesn't have to voice it.
Roxas opens his arms for Sora in the same way Sora opens his arms for Ven and, oh. Yeah. It makes sense. It makes sense, doesn’t it?
(kasumi voice) this is my girlfriend saaya, abd her girlfriend arisa, and her girlfriend rimi, and her girlfriend tae, and her girlfriend rei, and her girlfriend masuki, and her girlfriend rokka, and h
