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Feb 6, 2020

All Is Found: New Birth (3/4)

This is a roleswap AU where Agnarr is stuck in the Enchanted Forest at the age of 20 following Runeard’s failed attack. Agnarr and Iduna are forced to marry by Yelana, who is looking to create a bond between the two nations. Read Part One and Part Two. TW: Pregnancy, Childbirth, Violence, Profanity

A/N: @fericita-s, thank you again for all the beta-reading and for letting me play in this world. And @androidavenger for the kickass AU prompt. And to @queen-iduna-of-arendelle and @legacy-of-lies for hosting Agduna Week.

No boats! There was Only One Cave!

There were several times over the remaining winter months where Iduna felt their precarious situation was especially fraught. When Agnarr sliced his hand trying to prepare game. When the reindeer had chewed through their ropes and nearly wandered out of their makeshift cave paddock. When a blizzard trapped them for several days with the last of the meager rations of salted meat her brothers had gifted her for her nuptials. But their luck held and the winter was mild, though she felt the cold in a way she never had while living with her tribe. Agnarr’s hand healed quickly and he was healthy throughout the season. Aside from some fatigue and nausea as the thaw drew near, Iduna had been blessed with good health as well. She teased her love it was probably due to their vigorous exercise regimen and new ability to warm one another. It gave her great joy to make him blush before he grinned and warmed her for the second time that day.

Early spring arrived with the thaw and blooming flowers. Agnarr made a crown for her which she accepted before hesitantly telling him these were edible and could he please save them for their meals?

“I’ll need you to show me the weeds then,” he sighed. “Anything would look beautiful on you regardless.”

“Not a wreath of nettles,” she chuckled. With the weather growing milder and the return of the wildlife, she taught him how to make snares to trap smaller game. How to build fences that would guide the migrating wild reindeer into traps. He had asked her if they should follow the herd to hunt, but she was worried they would come across Northuldra hunting parties as they travelled the familiar migration routes. Yelana had only banished them from the camp and nearby areas, but Iduna had no desire to risk their wrath. Agnarr might be right. They might spare her, but she still feared for him if they accidentally crossed paths with any of her former kinsmen.

They built fish traps. He watched her as she crafted knives and needles from bone. He felled trees so they could build a kota a few hundred yards from the cave, often stripped to the waist. Iduna had stopped bothering to even come up with excuses to be near him as he did so after he caught her watching the fourth time. They prepared smoke racks, tools, all manner of things they could imagine they might need for the next winter, far off as it was. He read to her, and she to him, dark stories from his book of fairy tales. They waltzed under the Northern Lights as they wavered and cast impossibly strange shadows across the mist.

“I wonder how it is we can see them,” Iduna yawned one particularly late night as they cuddled against one another following their usual evening activities, staring up at the sky. “Not even the stars or the moon shine through.”

“Another mystery,” he murmured against her ear before kissing the nape of her neck. She squirmed in delight and was a bit surprised to feel as though there were butterflies in her stomach. As if she was naïve girl again and not a married woman. She nuzzled his beard with her chin and felt the gentle sensation of fluttering in her core a second time. She froze, eyes wide, unable to breathe. “Iduna?”

“I’m with child,” she blurted out as the realization crashed upon her. She hadn’t bled since late winter. Given that they had barely had enough food to keep themselves fed, she had simply thought it was her body conserving its energy. But the nausea and fatigue. Scents from the herbs she collected had seemed sharper. She sat up slowly and placed a hand at her navel. From deep within, the faint sensation of fluttery movement once more.

“What?” Agnarr quickly rose to the balls of his feet and gently took her by the shoulders. “What? With child? How? How are you with child?”

She cocked her head as she studied his face. “Agnarr. I hope the baby takes after me when it comes to cleverness.” She thought a moment. “Did . . .no one ever tell you in Arendelle, when you were a Prince, how babies are-“

“No, I mean, I know how it happened. We’ve been doing that enough.” His tone kept getting higher and his words coming faster. “I just thought, I don’t know – aren’t there things women can do to prevent it? With herbs? You’re so good with plants!”

“We’re married,” she said, mystified, as she regarded him with her hand still on her stomach. A sudden sense of terror gripped her and her face fell. “You’re unhappy. You don’t want a child with me.”

“What? No!” He threw his arms around her waist and pressed his bearded cheek against her protective hand. He held her tightly for a moment. “I-I’m just surprised. That’s all. I didn’t expect this.” He sighed. “Although I don’t know why I didn’t, given what we’ve gotten up to.”

Part of her was a bit annoyed that he thought this was a surprise for him, but a much larger part was no longer reeling with the knowledge she was growing a new life. She was celebrating it. She smiled and felt her eyes start to well with tears. They had created life, out of nothing more than love and the space atop their bedroll. It was a miracle. She was going to be a mother. He was going to be a father. They were going to have a family of their own.

“What are we going to do?” Agnarr wondered aloud.

“We’re going to have a baby,” Iduna managed a tearful laugh and kissed him deeply.

* * * * *

Agnarr believed with all of his heart that their baby growing within her was a blessing. A gift from the spirits that seemed to have forsaken them not so long ago. But while he wouldn’t voice his concerns to his wife, wouldn’t taint her blissful jubilation with his worries, he had no idea what they were going to do. Iduna thought she understood. They had shared stories of their families, their histories, in their earliest days together. She knew his mother had died giving birth to him and that his grandmother had died in childbed as well, giving life to his father. She soothed him with soft declarations of her health, reassuring caresses when she woke in the night to find him with an ear pressed against her swelling stomach, and tales of her mother’s four easy births. It didn’t help ease his mind as much as he led her to believe it did.

But in a far more immediate and practical sense, he had no idea what they were going to do. He had not been flippant when he asked her to teach him how to be a proper Northuldra husband. How to care for her. Provide for her like any husband would want to provide for his beloved. And now their child. But patient as she had been in her lessons, he felt daunted by the enormity of the responsibilities he faced. Although she assured him time and time again that she would be perfectly capable of helping him hunt and fish and gather throughout the autumn, he worried that they would not be able to prepare enough food to see them through the winter. Although he delighted in feeling his – their – baby vigorously kick against his hand when he placed it against the taut skin of his wife’s pregnant belly, he nonetheless lay awake at night wondering if he had doomed them both to death with his own ineptitude. He had no idea how to see them safely through the birthing process.

“Do you hope it’s a boy or a girl?” She had asked him.

“A girl,” he replied honestly. “The men in my family have done nothing but make an utter mess of things.” He placed a kiss above her navel. “Papa has nothing to offer you but love, little one.” She had laughed and ran her fingers through his hair. But the summer was bountiful and he trusted her word that they were in fine shape thus far to last another winter. More good fortune came when, within the span of two weeks, they trapped three young reindeer that Iduna declared docile enough to add to their tiny herd.

He apologized to her around the time of the anniversary.

“I’ve no gift to give you.”

She rolled her eyes. “Foolish man.” She drummed her fingers on her stomach with a smile. “Papa is silly, isn’t he?”

“Mama is lovely,” he leaned in to kiss her. Summer gave way to autumn. As the chill began to cling in the air, he noticed that Iduna always seemed to be shivering. When he thought about it, she had often worn her shawl even in the mid-summer heat. He had thought perhaps it was a comfort as she was with child, but far from the women of her family and her tribe. She had to feel somewhat alone. But when he asked her about, she shrugged and told him that all women had strange signs and changes during pregnancy. Cold as she might feel, it didn’t bother her.

Sure enough, when winter arrived with its biting cold and snow, she fared better than he did, wrapped though he was in the new cloaks they had sewn from furs trapped during warmer weather. She sang constantly to their baby, songs that he had come to learn as intimately as those from his own youth. He would fall asleep to the lullabies she used to soothe the baby when it was restless. He woke, one night, from his dreams and turned in their bed to see her standing nearby, close to the fire pit, the oddest expression fixed on her face, with her fists clenched. He could hear the wind raging against the entrance they had constructed at the mouth of the cave.

“Iduna?”

“Agnarr. The baby is coming.”

* * * * *

The snow had started the day before, gentle and steady. Iduna had helped her mother, Anja, Yelana and the other women in the village often enough with births to know what the tightening in her abdomen meant when she woke. She knew that a woman’s first child usually took the longest to arrive. That the pain would be intense. That she would probably believe she was going to die at some point. She had seen enough new mothers go through the miserable rite of passage and come out just fine on the other side.

Her husband had not.

So she did not wake him. She wished there was some place safe and warm she could send him. She wished her mother was here. She paced as quietly as she could, gnawing on some strips of dried meat that she hoped would help to keep her strength up when the hard part began. Her contractions were slowly picking up in pace, coming every few minutes. But they weren’t very painful yet.

It seemed as though the weather outside was getting worse. Which was fine. With any luck, it would blow a good drift against their makeshift entrance to keep the heat in and the wind out. They had plenty of food and fuel for a fire. She had stocked enough medicinal salves and teas for herself and taught Agnarr what they were for and how to use them. Agnarr had become somewhat adept at trapping and fishing. Even though he still unable to tan animal hides or efficiently gut the fish he caught, he had smoked and dried much of the meat under her gentle instruction. He had done is best to become a Northuldra husband for her, providing food to eat and stocking more in their shelter. He had ensured that when the baby came, they would be well-provided for.

She was fine. The baby would be fine. They would meet their child soon. Mama had given birth to three strapping sons before giving birth to Iduna without any illness or injury. She would be fine. It was natural. The contractions were starting to get stronger as her husband slumbered peacefully, so she paced and chewed and reminded herself time and again that this was worth it. Her baby would be here soon. Then there was a sharp pain that snapped from her clenching stomach down to between her legs and she could help but let a short, painful gasp escape.

“Iduna?” Agnarr called to her sleepily.

“Agnarr. The baby’s coming.” She tried to keep her words calm and even, but she wasn’t entirely successful at keeping the discomfort out of her voice. He sprang up and stumbled towards her.

“What do I do?”

“Nothing,” she said through gritted teeth. “Nothing special. Just- boil some snow for water. Keep the fire going. This is normal,” she gasped the last word and could see him pale in the light of the fire. She felt a strange sensation from within, as though someone had plucked a lute string, and there was a gush fluid.

“That does not look normal!” Agnarr said, looking panicked.

“Agnarr, it’s fine,” she said loudly. She wished he would be calm. She wished she had told him more about the process. She wished it was easier to get out of her soaked pants. “Just help me. It’s just the water from the baby-“

“There’s blood!”

“There’s going to be blood. I swear, it’s normal,” she grabbed one of the blankets to clean herself. “Please, boil some snow. We talked about this.”

“Iduna, no,” he shook his head. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to help you and the baby.” Another contraction gripped her and she winced.

“What?”

“I’m taking you home. To your mother. To a midwife. I won’t lose you!”

“No!” She shouted, suddenly oblivious to her discomfort. The wind was starting to howl outside. “They’ll kill us! They’ll murder the baby!”

“No, they won’t kill you or the baby!” He shook his head, a wild look in his eyes. He began to lash together skins and poles to make a litter. “This is the only way.”

“Agnarr,” she tried to hobble after him, but the pressure in her abdomen and below was building. She couldn’t keep up with him as he stalked about the cave, making preparations. “Please, no! I won’t go!” But as she doubled over with her strongest contraction yet, she saw her husband turn with a look of determination she had never seen before as he regarded her.

“I’m not letting you or the baby die here because I don’t know what to do.” Despite her vehement protests and slapping at him as hard as she could between contractions, she was no match for his size and strength. She could not convince him. Could not soothe or reassure him. She could see the ghosts in his eyes of his family’s legacy and all of the fears he had spoken of these past few months turning to panicky, desperate actions. She struggled and cursed, but was unable to stop him from wrapping her in several furs and blankets and physically strapping her, gently but securely, to the litter. He deftly harnessed it to their largest reindeer and she tried unsuccessfully to thrash her way out. He secured a warm hat on her head, hissing when she bit his hand, but otherwise ignoring her protests.

Her labor progressed as he led the reindeer out into the blinding blizzard and she cursed herself for telling him about the winter encampment. It was close to where they had settled and she hadn’t wanted him to come across it while hunting or foraging once she was too large to accompany him. Iduna screamed and begged for him to stop, to turn around, but she wasn’t even certain that he could hear her pleas over the roaring of the wind. Her throat was raw and burned. In her struggles, she had managed to partially free one of her legs before she saw the unwelcome sight of the earthen mounds half-buried under large snow drifts. Warmer than the kota of their summer encampments. The reindeer halted. She turned her head enough to see Agnarr cupping his hands over his mouth.

“Help! It’s my wife, please help!” One of the snow drifts shuddered and crumbled away. Iduna felt her breath catch mid-contraction as she saw the confused face of her eldest brother Lemek. He saw her and his jaw dropped. Agnarr staggered over to him and she could just make out his words above the wind. “Please, she’s having a baby! Don’t hurt them!” Agnarr, panting, half-turned to glance at her then turned back to her brother. As she watched, bleeding, and weeping, and helpless, Lemek raised one of his iron fists and dropped Agnarr into the snow with a single blow.

* * * * *

Dazed though he was, Agnarr could still make out her screams as he was dragged away. He had felt horrified at the sight of her. Blood on the furs of the lower half of the litter. Tears frozen to her cheeks. But before he was unceremoniously hurled into one of the underground huts, he saw a group of bundled women descending on her.

“I killed her!” He sobbed through a split lip as he tried to stagger to his feet. It had been futile, bringing her here. She would die anyway. He grunted as another blow drove him against an earthen wall.

“You stupid, fucking, southern bastard!” A voice roared. A pair of hands grabbed him by his scruff as though he were a child, easily bringing him to his feet before hurling him into a table. “You bring my sister here in a blizzard? On her childbed?” Agnarr felt a painful pop in left ribs as a boot was brought against them. He groaned and tried to shield himself. “I fucking knew you’d kill her!” Another blow. “Helpless as a fucking child!” Another. “And you bring her here?” He demanded. “Here! Now!?” The door burst open.

“Lemek! Did you hear?”

“Iduna is back! She’s birthing a baby!”

Agnarr gasped for air as he heard the two other men enter the room. Then he heard them curse as they caught sight of him.

“I saw,” Lemek said darkly. “Help me strip this witless bastard.” Agnarr groaned as they roughly stripped him of his coat and furs. The chill of the winds whipping through the door stung the sweat on his skin and offered no relief for the bruises that were already swelling where Lemek’s boots and fists had found him. As soon as they let go of him, he collapsed to the ground. “Stand him up!” The two younger brothers gripped him under his arm pits and hauled him to his feet.

“Just don’t hurt them,” he managed to moan before he had the wind knocked out of him by another powerful blow. They dropped him once more and he fell on his face, clutching his abdomen and dry heaving. “Please. My. Choice. Not. Hers.” He managed to choke out.

“Oh? And you think that matters? Eh?” Lemek bent down and yanked his head up by the roots of his hair. “You think it’s up to us if she’s killed? You think we’d murder our sister on your account? Or her baby?” He bounced Agnarr’s head against the earth. His vision swam and his ears rang. “Fucking idiot. You’ve no idea what you’ve done.”

“Lemek,” the short one said warningly, staring at Agnarr.

“Shut up, Duvka. If she dies, I’m castrating him. The stupid bastard can bleed to death from where his balls used to be.” Lemek kicked him in the groin and Agnarr doubled over. “He clearly wasn’t using his brains to think, eh?”

“Still-“

“Hand me that rope,” Lemek growled. Agnarr heard Duvka sigh. He tried to uncurl himself, to rise at least to his knees and tell Lemek that it was fine. That he would happily die, face whatever judgement they wanted, so long as it meant Iduna and the baby were spared. But he could barely move his mouth. And then he felt the rope wrapping around his neck and puled hard against the sides. He futilely scrabbled against it with his fingers, but the darkness closed in quickly and he was lost.

He woke with the taste of blood in his mouth. Everything ached. His eyes were nearly swollen shut. It hurt to breathe. He could feel where his hands and legs had been tightly tied and bound behind his back. From his fetal position on the floor, he painfully tried to glance around the room. He could just make out Lemek, sitting at a table, sharpening a knife. An involuntary moan escaped his lips. Lemek did not move, but his eyes snapped over to meet his.

“Awake? Good. Sleep is too merciful for you. They’re deciding now how we’ll kill you. My sister and her baby are dead.”

* * * * *

Iduna gripped her mother’s hand tightly as another strong contraction gripped her, moving lower than they had been before. She tried to bite back a moan, but her mother stroked her forehead, murmuring “Let it out, darling. It helps with the pushing.” Almost as quickly as her brother had dragged Agnarr away, the women of the village had freed her from the litter and whisked her into a warm room with a soft bed. Someone had run for her mother and Anja. Yelana had appeared, wearing a perplexed expression on her face. She had taken one look at Iduna’s state, sighed heavily, and ventured back out into the blizzard. Iduna had been undressed, cleaned and comforted with haste by the other women. Her mother had arrived, pale and tearful but smiling, clutching a purple shawl against her chest.

“Where’s grandma?” Iduna had gasped.

“Oh, sweetheart,” her mother had bowed her head and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. “She passed in late autumn. But she finished this first.” Her mother unfolded the shawl in her lap so Iduna could see it. “You’re a strong girl, my love. I know it’s difficult and painful, but we’ll be swaddling your little one soon enough. You’ll both be fine.”

“I tried to tell him,” Iduna cried, the tears running down her face. “I tried to tell him, but he wouldn’t listen.”

“Your father, rest his soul, was beside himself from fear when I gave birth to your brother,” her mother held her by the shoulders and gently rocked her. “Men are prone to fear when the baby comes. They blame themselves and can’t ease the suffering. It drives them mad.”

“No one thinks you came back on your own, Iduna,” Anja reassured her as rubbed her legs. “There’s no danger to you or the baby. Only the southern prince will be punished and you can come home.” Iduna let out another sob and her mother glared at Anja.

“No talk of punishment until after the baby is born,” she hissed.

“Mama, I don’t want-“ But the painful pressure and contraction tore the words from her mouth and transformed them into a pained scream. Iduna felt as though she was being torn apart. It seemed as though one contraction would hardly finish when the next one would begin. But with the encouragement of her mother and Anja, she breathed, and sobbed, and begged for Agnarr’s life through the next several eternal minutes until there was one final, painful push and it was over. She collapsed back into the pillows, panting and gasping for air. A strong, whining cry pierced the air.

“One more push,” Anja encouraged her. She grunted and pushed with what little energy she had left. “And there’s the after birth.” Anja turned to another woman and pointed. “Tie off the cord and cut it.”

“Oh, Iduna,” her mother was crying. “It’s a lovely little girl.” Iduna closed her eyes and felt the shuddering rise and fall of her chest. The tiny, clear wail persisted as Anja and the others fussed and cleaned the baby before handing her over to Iduna’s mother to swaddle. Her mother bundled the baby against the winter chill before presenting her to Iduna.

“Elsa,” Iduna cooed through her tears. Her grandmother’s name. She could see her mother’s lip trembling. She placed the baby to her breast and winced as the child voraciously latched. Iduna smiled, she supposed the little one had just gone through all the difficult work of being born. “Your mama and papa love you so, so much.”

As she spoke, the door opened and Yelana strode in. She nodded curtly at Iduna and peered at the child. “Well. That’s all over then. I suppose you should know that it has been decided you and the babe are considered blameless in all of this. Clearly, it wasn’t your decision to return. Your husband,” Yelana rolled her eyes at the word. “Thought it best to strap you to a litter and bring you here. I can’t imagine in your state you could have put up much of a fight.”

“Yelana, please,” Iduna started to plead, but Yelana raised her hand to silence her.

“He understood that to return before the mist lifted was a death sentence. And noble – though unnecessary and idiotic – as his actions were, our decision remains final.” Yelana left and Lemek tentatively stuck his head into the room. He was grinning broadly.

“Can I see the baby, baby sister?” Their mother beckoned him in.

“Lemek, please,” Iduna begged. “Can’t you talk to Yelana? Please. Agnarr didn’t know. He was only thinking of my safety and Elsa’s safety and-“

“Shh, hey now,” Lemek soothed her as he sat nearby. Eyes fixed on his niece. “You don’t need to worry about that man. It’ll be over soon. I promise. And we’ll be quick about it.”

“No, Lemek, please-“ She was starting to weep again, Elsa fussing against her mother’s movement.

“Iduna,” he said more firmly. “The terms were clear. He understood them. He broke them. And he knew the price he would play.” She felt herself drain away. They were really going to execute him.

“Then please, Lemek, at least let me see him. Let him see his daughter!” She said desperately. Lemek sighed and grimaced. “Please,” her voice dropped to a whisper. “He was only doing what he thought was right. Please let me say goodbye to my husband.”

Her brother scowled and chewed his lip thoughtfully for a moment before shaking his head and rising to his feet.

“Fine. But it will have to be quick. We already had to restrain his former guard and tie him up before he told the others.” He shrugged. “And don’t be surprised at the sight of him. He got what he deserved for dragging you through that blizzard.” He disappeared through the door.

“Oh, Iduna,” her mother sighed and rubbed her shoulders. Iduna squeezed her eyes shut and nuzzled Elsa’s head. Her daughter was feeding calmly. Her daughter’s hair was the most singular white down she had ever seen on a baby. She shivered, the cold of the season finally sinking into her bones and taking hold.

Suddenly, a shirtless, battered, bearded figure toppled through the door. It took her a breathless moment to recognize Agnarr, bruised and swollen as his face and trunk were, with his arms bound behind his back. Lemek came behind him.

“Get up,” he said dispassionately, pulling Agnarr up by his elbow. “Say goodbye. Don’t upset my sister.”

“You’re alive!” He started to cry, tears leaking through one swollen eye. “You’re alive!”

“Of course I am,” she tried to force a smile and not let him see how horrified she was at his appearance. “I’m fine. I told you I would be.” He dropped to his knees next to her and pressed his bloody forehead against hers. She saw his swollen lip and placed a kiss on his temple. “This is our daughter,” she said in a trembling voice. “This is Elsa.”

“Elsa,” he whispered, leaning over to kiss their baby atop her head as he could not take her into his arms. “She’s so beautiful.” He laughed. “And alive. Elsa.” For her part, Elsa grunted and squirmed at her father’s sign of affection. Agnarr kissed her again. “I need you to be good for Papa. To grow strong. I need you to take care of your Mama, alright?”

“I love you,” Iduna’s voice broke as he leaned his weight against her side and rested his chin atop her head.

“I love you too.” His voice was brittle. “And I’m so sorry I won’t be with you to raise her. I love you both so, so much.” The door opened again and Iduna bit her lip as Duvka stepped in, looking solemn.

“Is it time?” Lemek asked. Duvka stared at Iduna for several moments before speaking, never taking his eyes off her.

“Yelana said to wait. The snow has stopped. The mist has lifted.”

#agduna #agnarr #iduna #all is found #tw: violence #tw: pregnancy #tw: child birth #and profanity #frozen 2 #frozen fanfiction #agduna week #agenda week 2020

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