where my fandom thoughts vacation

mostly my jmjk jkjm double bias but also ot7 with bonus yoongi who wrecks me daily.

[whysojiminimnida]

Remember When I Said Taehyung Might Not Be As Gay As We Thought?

Don't judge a man by his milfy wardrobe, he looks goooood.

It was... awhile ago. Maybe as far back as 2021 although I do not feel like link-searching it. It's in the archives if I didn't kill it.

Granted, there was a lot going on, then. There's still a lot going on and until now I had no desire to ever - EVER - return to this hellsite. Because Taekookers are fucking weird, yo. And some of y'all got a lil bit up in my shit too as I (fuzzily) recall. Which: it's whatever. I'm extremely unsocial, don't even answer my own DMs. And it's not personal, so I get it. I don't need or want to defend myself, but I will protect people I care about. With my absence, if necessary.

OT: I also totally kicked the big C while I've been out so that was nice. Yoongi the cat is pleased that his noms will continue uninterrupted. I will be in wigs for at least another year. It's all good. Oh LOOK at what we have here. Don't come at me for publishing this, I will explain.

I got it from actual media days ago, okay, and also: there was no expectation of real privacy. Keep reading. Or don't, I'm not telling you what to do.

ANYWAY. I had to come back, mainly to say TAENNIE IS REAL I TOLD Y'ALL IDK WHY NOBODY EVER BELIEVES ME BUT HERE WE ARE. I'm gloating. Honestly, it's so rude, I'd apologize if I cared. But I am rude and snorfling into my cheerios about this. Tae just made me so damn happy, is all.

LET THE MAN BE BI OR HETEROFLEXIBLE OR EVEN STRAIGHT IDC. Jennie clearly makes him happy. Look at his "I'm going to Paris to see my girlfriend" face!

And in that very specific jewelry look, no less. Foundrae. Again. Still. Hm.

Here's what I can tell you based on my limited third hand no sources no receipts this is probably utter bullshit usual disclaimer: It's a soft open, kids. This whole "oopsie we just so happened to get caught taking a lil walk in public with our managers in tow during which date at least one of us signed several autographs, what a surprise" is in fact a soft open for what will likely be a public confirmation PRETTY DAMN SOON. It might happen before I get this thing published, actually, depending on when I get it up. If it's before May 22 at noon my time, no idea. If after, well. Guess we'll see. Jennie's supposed to show up at the screening of HBO's The Idol that day, screening at the Grand Lumiere at 10:30 CEST. One wonders if she will arrive alone, or bring a plus one. It's a big ask, and if he does it they're probably getting married, that's how big a deal it would be. So I'm not holding my breath, but.

This seems like a reasonable prospect for a plus-one viewing. Might not be the only one but... Jennie's IN IT so.

I'M NOT SAYING THIS IS GONNA HAPPEN. I think it would be a fucking POWER move if it did, but I also do not necessarily expect that it will. It COULD. It... MIGHT. It might not. Either way they're a thing, I'm telling you. They are, have been, a thing. For awhile. And it is apparently quite serious - like up to and including talk of engagement serious.

Remember when a bunch of folk thought that one gummy bear dude was going to jail for "hacking" Jennie's phone only there's been no actual movement on any "investigation"? Yeah. Trickle truthing, they call it. Give 'em a little bit, let them deny it and yell and chew on it for awhile before you give 'em a little more. But c'mon, nobody's wearing half the love-themed couple pieces at Foundrae for no damn reason.

Seriously they got the whole collection almost and both have been seen wearing them almost exclusively. For a year.See airport pic above.

Look, I don't have inside info on Taehyung. I do not. I ain't hang with his friends and I don't know him personally. Never met the guy. But I know a PR move when I see one and this is exactly that.

We all know how toxic stan culture can be. Some ToadlicKKers (and a few of us house elves) are certifiably bonkers, if stan twitter is anything to go by. And the guys, the company, they expect a whole meltdown. They know this is not gonna make half their fans happy. I mean the tkkers have a point in that it looks like they wanted to be seen. BECAUSE IT'S A SOFT OPEN. What Taejen/Taennie/Jenhyung and the companies also know is that based on historic shipper behavior, this is gonna come back on Jimin, Jungkook, maybe Rose' and Lisa. And by extension, the other members. Maybe not as much due to their respective distance, but still. I bet by the time I finish this it will have already started.

Oh look there it is. Fuck those bitches, really.

Good LORDT. I'm not adding the audio, if y'all are that hungry for psycho hose beast Jimin hate hie thee to stan twt.

But, totally off-topic kinda...

... wouldn't it be cool if Jennie, who speaks great English, was hanging out with Troye Sivan and was like "so you know my boyfriend tells me that his bffs..." I'M JUST SAYING NETWORKING IS COOL AND FRIENDS OF FRIENDS GET THINGS DONE OKAY.

You know that girl has the scoop. If Tae knows it, she knows it. Oh heeeeyyy Troye.

Also OT: I love that Taekook have been hanging out a little more lately. It's refreshing. I genuinely think having Jennie in his life has been good for Tae in several ways. And you know, I'm kinda surprised Taennie has lasted this long. I didn't honestly think they would. It warms my decrepit, sad old heart a bit. Turns out I have a lot more to say so IDK IDK, if I feel okay about it I might be back. Right now I'm just waiting for the official Taennie nod and the continued total meltdown.

[kanmom51]

JM’s dad has had enough

28 November 2022 Post and story.

JM’s father had enough with these imposters.

Not only were they lying about their identity, trying to con Army, trying to get followers.

But they were also pushing their own agendas on JM, like telling people to stop shipping him with members or claiming him to have a girlfriend.

These are the accounts:

The fact that JM’s family have to react to this kind of behaviour…

[whysojiminimnida]

Seokjin misses us already you guys 😭😭😭

Chef Baek is his actual bestie you cannot convince me otherwise although it does appear they were judging a thing. A drunken thing.

So Jinnie and Chef Baek were special jurors at the Korea Heritage Liquor Awards. The other guy in the photo is Wook Myung and he posted on Instagram which, given that Jin used the same photo and press exists, is likely the instigating factor in his posting for us.

One interesting little fact: while soldiers training and on base at the North front have their phone cameras disabled and a security app, their working hours and online capabilities are actually quite reasonable. They get weekends. They’re allowed to be online with some limits.

I think it’s very likely that we’ll hear from our Seokjin more than we would otherwise. Hope springs eternal.

[whysojiminimnida]

Hobi is just the coolest THAT IS ALL

I’m just gonna say it. In this house we watch original content for what? TRUTH and CONTEXT. So I’m not gonna chop this video into appetizing little fan bites. It’s worth 22 minutes.

Also: a wild Jimin appears. Go on and check it out.

[whysojiminimnida]

OH MY GOSH IS THAT

WAIT IS THAT

IT IS HOLY SHIT

Namjoon is doing a Park JIYOON collab OMG OMG 😭😭😭

It’s gonna be the Grown Ass Man era I KNEW IT it’s gonna be this for the Adult Folks

I’m so glad I have Indigo on presave and preorder. No wonder it’s 19+ at the video recording event. I AM THANKFUL THAT IS ALL

[whysojiminimnida]

He’s in training now (or…er… soon? IDK IDK media reports and gross stalkers are so confusing)

Two things:

1. Never listen to people who say that BTS cannot move in stealth mode. Man’s been fully gone for a week and nobody in the general public knew about it even though he told us goodbye.

2. Kim Seokjin is a hell of a man. And so are the other members, who let us all know last Sunday in their own way.

I’m so proud of all of them.

[whysojiminimnida]

Your posts used to be fun and unserious but it’s getting weirder and weirder and honestly concerning. As if jikook and jikook shippers weren’t already hated on you have to make it worse… This isn’t cool.

I appreciate your viewpoint, anonymous person on the internet. So... help me out, here. What, exactly, do you propose that I personally need to do in order to effect a change in the amount of hatred that Jimin and Jungkook (or their "shippers" - ick) get from people I don't know and cannot control? Should I just.... not blog? I mean, I've tried it. For weeks, even a month or so at a time. Hasn't really made a difference either way that I can tell. If anything the hateful folk have gotten more hateful but I'm not really in their spaces to affect that. And I have often invited them to stay the hell out of mine.

Thing is, I don't really write for other audiences. To be fair I'm probably not even blogging for *this* audience, such as it is. I am not here to pacify the Taekook or lil7-except-Jimin contingents of self-identified ARMY. I'm not writing to change minds, even. I literally show up occasionally and spout admittedly wispy streams of consciousness with no sources, no receipts and zero proof given -- and you are quite free to take me as unseriously as you'd like. Does not hurt my feelings either way.

So I'm not sure what you're proposing that my plan of action should be. But I do have an idea for action you can take if you're not having fun reading my stuff. If I'm grating your nerves? Don't read me. That's really all you need to do. Boom, problem solved.

[whysojiminimnida]

AND THEN JUNG HOSEOK SAID --

"Oh, Jimin left him at home." I DIED Y'ALL. SEVERAL TIMES. Also the entire photo section of this post will consist of pictures of my cat Yoongi and the shit he has gotten in the mail recently. Yoongi has a new toy named Jack. Make of that what you will. ANYWAY.

He's gonna burn it down, burn it all down. SO WHAT HAD HAPPENED WAS -- I was in Florida and I had a little emergency hospital visit which was unplanned. There was also a Jimin's birthday and a whole ass Busan concert and a Live and a military enlistment announcement which: I can't talk about that. I CAN'T. So don't ask me. And I had an otherwise lovely time and got home to one Very Cranky Oppa, Kevin having been informed of my "Oh Shit Here We Go Again With This Bullshit" thing. Man was mad. Like, hovering mad. All up in my business and stuff. We love Kevin From Itaewon, okay, and we are also being very, very kind to him and to his boyfie X FOREVER. Not just because Park Jimin was in X's apartment but also for that reason. And there was a day recently when Kevin called to grouch at me. There were all the days, really. He's been on his oppa shit for a solid month. But this one day it was midday my time so ASS O'CLOCK in Seoul. Kev was staying at X's because Kevin's place is in Itaewon and Very Awful Things have been going on there. You know I told you Kev and X maintain two residences? Turns out that has been one small blessing in that whole ass nightmare over there. But at Kevin's house you don't often hear the tinkling of a GIGGLING PARK JIMIN IN THE NEXT ROOM. And he was not alone.

When Jimin said my name I thought he said "Hello Jewelry" and I was about to offer him my grandmother's wedding set and my mom's tennis bracelet. But instead I said "Hi Jimin-ssi saranghaeyo" and "Hi Hobi-nim saranghae!" and they were very kind. And then I was asked if my dream came true (X was, in his defense, drunk, did I mention?) and I said, because I am an entire idiot,

"No." "No?!" "Next time bring Jungkook-ssi", says still reasonably formal but definitely insane person holding my phone. (It was me, I'm the insane person). LAUGHTER. UPROARIOUS, UNBRIDLED AMUSEMENT. There was a thump, which Kev said "Oh Jimin fell" and some choking and I swear before God, JIMIN SNORTGIGGLED AT ME and Hobi let out the horsiest, cutest guffaw, like, they may have all been tipsy is all I'm saying. Kevin was appalled, probably. I wasn't paying attention to him. "Oh, Jimin left him at home" said one Jung Hoseok. IN ENGLISH. I mean, I didn't know Hobi was down with past tense and grammar and shit but HE SAID ITJUST LIKE THAT. AND LAUGHED. And then Park Jimin giggled. HE GIGGLED HE SOUNDS LIKE AN ANGEL I LOVE HIM SO MUCH YOU GUYS OMG

And then Kevin said "say goodbye" and instead I said "daedanhi kamsahamnida" which is "thank you so so so much" but I said that too and Jimin said "very nice to meet your jewelry" and Kevin was like "girl I'mma call you back when you can breathe without crying" and ...that was it. That was all she wrote. It ain't all I'm gonna write but the conversation was over. And about twenty minutes later after I resurrected again I was like WAIT.

WHAT.

Because, like, I don't know what all X has told Hobi and or Jimin about me. But I feel pretty confident that HOBI MADE A JIKOOK REFERENCE and there are two possible explanations: 1. They were just drunk as fuck and messing with a known ARMY; OR

2. That man was not thinking and told the truth. Jimin left Koo at home to go out with Hobi. At HOME. At ostensibly HIS HOME. Where Jungkook may also reside, at least occasionally. One of those things is true. Unless you think I'm yanking your chain. Which: I have no proof I'm not, at least no proof I'm willing to share. What I will share is that Yoongi the cat (or possibly yours truly) has been receiving regular deliveries from Hybe ever since. Nothing major and mostly the stuff is readily available on Weverse. No notes in it or anything, just.... stuff.

Stuff I have not ordered or paid for and there are no packing slips or invoices to tell me who did. It doesn't show up in my Weverse app. It just.... shows up.

I was GONNA get the photobook I swear to God I had intended to order it but it just.... arrived. I pulled Taehyung.

SOPE IS REAL THIS IS MY PHOTO PROOF LOOK AT YOONGI KISSING J-HOPE Mostly it's been Hoseok-related. Kev and X disavow all knowledge. If one of you did it, please do let me know. But I like to think it's no coincidence that Yoongi is now the proud owner of an Arson candle and a Jack In the Box.

I mean. It's cute stuff and I super wanted all of it but let's be real, here. If you'd rather believe this never happened and I just made it up out of my head, I would not even blame you. No dates, no sources, no pics, no receipts, nothing that could not have been ruthlessly fabricated and/or preordered by me and expeditiously shipped. Right? RIGHT.

But if you wanna squeal with me I won't get mad at you, either :) And yes, I do think the Jeon-Parks are jeonparking. I also think Jimin had his wisdom teeth out but who the hell knows.

[whysojiminimnida]

WELL I SEE IT'S TIME TO TALK TATTOOS AGAIN

Holy cats, hoes mad:

I just adore Black&White KM, don't you? Honestly, never yells at me no matter how often I steal their pics, they give out freebies at concerts, they're respectful -- if you're gonna make a living off photographing famous people, do it like they do. Honestly. So they're in Qatar doing their whole job and hoes losing their shit all over the internet, apparently, all because a certain JM is darker. STILL.

This is not a brand new development.

Y'ALL HE DID THIS MONTHS AGO WHY ARE WE JUST NOW FREAKING OUT ABOUT IT?

This is at LAST YEAR'S GRAMMYS Y'ALL:

And completely unedited, unretouched, the JM was darker enough then that I did a whole post about it.

I MEAN DAMN have we not gone over this, like, several times? (In case you're new to this house elf situation we have here, yes. YES WE HAVE.) We have talked about Jungkook's tattoos at GREAT LENGTH. Well, I have, as far back as a while ago, most recently along about here but also here and here and here and several other places. There is zero tag organization in this house, I don't know what else to tell you.

Anywho Jungkook's tats do not, as nearly as I can tell, mean this:

Because, like the nice graphic above says that I just edited, THIS IS FAN-MADE BULLSHIT. I dunno who made it but I suspect the addition of the J upset some folk enough to need to make JeiKei's motivation anything OTHER than Jimin. Because, as we know, he started out with his ink like this:

Yes, that is a pic someone ripped off. I don't like using it. But it's what we have, and it's years later, and it's been out there for a long time, don't shoot. But I have expounded more than once on why it makes NO SENSE to GO BACK LATER to add one letter to a near-complete hand piece. It doesn't. And that A is not, never has been, a V. In Korea you can go literally anywhere and see Samsung logos, Shilla hotel logos, and of course Jimin's dad's cafe' all using that stylized A with no crossbar.

And I think it's pretty clear what JK thinks the JM means. It means Jimin. Ji Min. JM. DUH. And just like his "rather be dead than cool / make hay while the sun shines" crossword ON HIS ARM, he has a crossword on his hand. A very obvious crossword. Who he loves is written for all of us to see: ARMY, and JM. And lest I forget about that crown:

It's THE SAME CROWN. Wanna go one better but likely utter fanfiction, you could even go heart-arrow-crown like so: 💜 > 👑... ... and make that story work. It actually makes more sense than one J for four people and four letters for three. But we're not here for that. Occam's Razor tells us that the simplest explanation is usually the correct one, and the simplest explanation is the one that's got bitches tearing their hair out. Because THEY KNOW. They KNOW that JM means Jimin, and they HATE IT. (And so what, to quote JeiKei directly. We're gonna talk about fan hate today, too, just... not in this post).

MEANWHILE JUNGKOOK is always showing us his hand, too, have you noticed? Ever since he got the tattoos, but I think more in the last year. It's gotten really pronounced since the PTD dates.

Jeon Jungkook does what Jeon Jungkook wants, and what he wants is for us to pick up what he's been throwing down since, oh, FOREVER but even more recently. Like, it's NOTICEABLE, the way he gets that tattoo in frame at every opportunity. I'll run out of image space before he runs out of ways to show us his touched-up hand.

Yeah. I think the fanmade bullshit has been exposed for what it is. Some of us have known it all along, but even if you're baby Army and you accidentally got stuck watching a lot of comic sans rainbow font youtube garbage (or got up on the wrong side of stan twt), there's no shame in that. I ain't even mad. I'm just happy you're here. Jeon-Park house elves, how we doin'?

[whysojiminimnida]

MEANWHILE PARK JIMIN

Shows ARMY his home decor situation

I mean fair is fair, World Cup viewers. Hobi gets in there with a whole shot in case you wanna see where his Hybe's fridge is in relation to the entertainment center. But this is because Jung Hoseok is a god among men and also has nothing to hide.

And YOONGI HAS A WHOLE ASS VOID CAT

Which: Yoongi the man not the cat is now in possession of a cat. I also have a cat. My cat is named Yoongi The Cat Not The Man. This means that when Yoongi the man not the cat inevitably names his cat YSJ, a portal will open. It will happen in my mind and I am prepared. And Park Jimin may also have a cat BUT WE DON'T KNOW DO WE

Because the ONLY thing that man is gonna show us is Jeon Jungkook. Who we have seen already, although granted not usually in such a dick-forward posture. Balls out for Jimin-ssi, you say? Yes, I noticed that myself. Thanks, Jimin, for making sure we know you had your thumb on the camera for many, many split seconds to get that particular shot. On your TV. In your apartment, presumably, although we actually have no idea. Park Jimin ain't gonna show us shit. He is not. He's too smart. Too slick for the likes of random Taekookers and house elves. We don't rate that kind of security clearance. He could be anywhere. (He's not likely in Qatar, though, don't get it twisted.)

Anime feet on a BunKoo, though, that's what I'd have shown the world. Our maknae out there in the great big homophobic World Cup without so much as a Jimin and y'all wonder why he doesn't make the angry food face when he comes on Live. Either the cake is terrible or something's not vibing right is all I'm saying. SEND HIM HOME IMMEDIATELY BABY NEEDS LOVE AND RAMYEON.

ANYWAY. I'm rambling. I have a lot to say, little by little. And Jimin tells us everything and nothing all at once, if we know how to read.

[whysojiminimnida]

Sorry Jesus but all You’re getting out of me is Sunday school today. Because the Jeon-Park household is LIT

And also, lit.

I genuinely have to observe my personal belief system this morning but when I tell y’all I drove my ass to church where I remain sitting in a parking lot watching a janky Twitch stream….

I’m looking a little sus right now but I do it for the Jeon-Parks, a Hobi (there’s always a Hobi) and y’all I HAVE THINGS TO SAY.

See you after church. Missed you all! 😘

[whysojiminimnida]

OH MY GOD CALM DOWN JEEZ

People still losing their shit over this

and with good reason I might add, I have spoken on it already *coughbetweenroundscough* but the naysayers are saying NAY very horsily, more like "neigh loud enough and it won't be true" which: points for the coping mechanism, denial is a powerful tool, use it as needed but REALLY? At some point it's gotta be sinking in.

"BUT HE WAS IN BUSAN"

No shit, Sherlock. Y'all act like he wasn't there for Jimin's Live and a train can't get to Busan in four hours. Trust and believe that it can. It's 2:15 on the high speed rail that is usually closed at that time of night unless you're BTS. But even if he went earlier...

... you can be assured that the jeonparkery was going, is going, will go and already done went DOWN.

It went down so hard that the hyung of all hyungs had to address it:

I love Korean and its lack of reasoned pronouns. He meant "everyone will think we're on bad terms but none of us are because we're all cool. So cool."

MEETINGS HAVE BEEN HELD. This has been a Topic Of Meetings. ARMY opinions, "anti-shipper" and TKK opinions are considered Valuable Factors for marketing because of their dollar signs, and it was addressed as recently as yesterday. Totally unrelated, traveling separately is a great way to deflect suspicion and enhance security, not that anyone would think otherwise. ANYWAY.

THEY READ US. BTS READS US. They do. I cannot tell you how many times I've been told "Yeah so Hobah says ARMY's on their bullshit again", like.... Y'ALL. I HEAR THIS WEEKLY. And in case the bajillion posts didn't clue you in, Hoseok hangs with Jimin almost daily. They are close in a way that, I hate to even say it, Taehyung and Jimin are not. Not anymore.

He did post though.

I mean he didn't say "bro" or anything so it isn't romantic but... don't get any crazy ideas, they're fine. They're just fine, fine, fine. Sing it with me, they're fiiiine... kinda. I'm actually addressing the maknae line in a series that may have to take a back seat to Busan this week. The lines at Magnate are OUT THE DOOR (photo stolen from twt user pjmdata who is there, unlike me but very like Kev and X)

And naturally some elements just have to go and step on normal human boundaries and insert themselves into every situation:

It's not as big a deal as it looks. Kev saw it and says it's actually one of those oversized poster-type digital ads in a station, people sneeze as they walk past it and don't even look because the rest of Busan is rightfully INSANE, lining up at the Jeon Park Tribute Wall and everything. I'm told it's an entire Jiminfest over there right now. That's gotta be chapping some asses.

So, listen. The Jeon-Parks are doing well. Happy, as much as any closeted gay couple in a massive media frenzy can be. It's not easy spending years of your twenties dodging the press and the cameras and the fans you love so you don't get outed. Jungkook in particular, never a lie-down-and-take-it kind of guy (ahem, as far as we know), is having a rough time with the Golden Closet. Films or no films. Maybe personal films, I'm not judging.

It's a beautiful sunny day in FloriDUH and I'm off to see my only daughter for the first time in a solid year so cut me a break, willya, I'll update as I have the inclination but yeah. I think we may have a coming out before I expected it. We'll see. I LOVE YOU GUYS, LOVE YOU LOVE YOU LOVE YOUUUUUU /rosebowl /fireworks

I'm out. Carry on.

[jimimn]

is this how you wish your bro a happy birthday 🤨

[whysojiminimnida]

I LOST MY MIND, Y’ALL. And not just because Jungkook looks like an entire NSFW artsy hot you know what, no. That’s not why.

It doesn’t hurt, but it’s not why I scandalized a lady next to me on a Boeing 737. I did. Her fault for reading my phone.

This is JeiKei’s first Weverse moment in three years. We went from this

to this

And he did it at 5:00 AM like … these two have a history of doing things together in the wee hours on birthdays, yes?

Next thing we got that time was handle hair if memory serves so keep that in mind

But I digress. Point is, I think that unless JK is already in Busan, they’re together. And Jungkook had something to say.

They’ve both been telling us as loudly as they can within the limits placed upon them. But this is a Moment. A statement. I’ve been hearing that Koo is finished being the cute baby for awhile. He has been chafing under the too-small golden closet walls for too long.

The Jeon Parks may end up coming out in more ways than one and sooner than I personally expected. This was a Gesture. And we know how good Jeon Jungkook is at those.

[whysojiminimnida]

I dunno y’all I literally posted while boarding a plane so either this thirsty ho Koo is where you can see him or not

Maybe this is a double post. Maybe it isn’t. Maybe American Airlines Wi-Fi can kiss my ass. LOOK AT THIS CONTACT LENS OUT BITCH

Why he do us like this does he know what time it is?

He knows. He absolutely knows.

Happy birthday bro RIGHT RIGHT as IF

I don’t believe you, Jeon. You’re between rounds is what. I don’t care how much you lie about too much rehearsal.

I have the utmost faith in your vocal technique and your ability to post come-hither vids but you don’t sound like THAT without reasons unrelated to being a professional singer two days before a concert.

That is all. Ahem.

[whysojiminimnida]

He’s live with a photobook and a 🐥 cake and here’s me in the sky over IDK Alabama or something anyway

GO GO GO

[whysojiminimnida]

Flying Yoga OR No, We're Not Breathing, Thank You

My merciful heavens.

Flexibility is key to any successful endeavor or SOMETHING HELL IDK IDK I JUST SHOW UP AND BLOG OKAY

Stretching your eyes, Jungkookie?

Can't blame him really, blame the placement assignments have you even seen Park Jimin's ass? It has its own weather system, it is worth appreciating.

Don't do that, sir.

Just.... stop. It's NOT FAIR.

One day I will do a whole post on how Jungkook has a three-year habit of placing his JM tattoo for maximum visibility at any angle near a camera but today is not that day because he is very distracting and really please do not be mad at me for just objectifying the hell out of this man I'll deal with it in another blog post but come ON I feel like he is a little bit aware of his assets, don't you agree?

The Jeon-Parks reduce me to incoherent run-on rambles, is all I'm actually saying.

STAAAHHHHPPP

I'm sorry too, Jimin. Really, sort of, a little bit. Maybe.

[whysojiminimnida]

Maknae Line + ARMY = Power Dynamics (Pt 2)

We love them and they love us right back. It's what makes the ARMY/BTS relationship what it is, and it is genuine.

It is also a power imbalance.

Less of one, these days, but it is still there. And WE HOLD THE POWER. We LOVE THEM. We are the driving force behind BTS' success. We hold their actual paychecks in our hands.

That's... a lot. A lot of love. A lot of paychecks. And a lot of power.

And it lends itself, unfortunately for both us and them, to a lot of abnormal behavior. OH WAIT LET'S READ THAT DISCLAIMER AGAIN

In my last post I said that BTS is a safe place for ARMY to explore sexuality.

THE REVERSE IS NOT TRUE.

Never has been, never will be, because ARMY was never designed for that. We are not their safe space. Not if they're straight, even more not if they're gay or bi or pan or heaven forbid gender non-conforming.

They accept us as we are because they love us, but we are under NO OBLIGATION TO DO THE SAME FOR THEM. And... as a general rule, ARMY - OT7 ARMY, anyway - doesn't. But also we do. And don't. Very confusing, ARMY reactions.

Hell, when have they ever had TIME to grow into healthy, normal adult sexual relationships? They lived together until some of them were nearly 25, FFS. Well beyond college age for Seokjin and Yoongi and well into it for the rest of them. That they seem to be reasonably well-adjusted is a credit to them and their partners, should they have any. Again, the hyungs have excelled, here. Mainly because they've never really HAD "dating scandals", which: ARE THE STUPIDEST IDEA OF A SCANDAL.

Literally how stupid is it to be upset that a famous person who is an adult human might also be (gasp, clutch pearls, die) having sex? Out in the world adulting like a whole adult WITH PEOPLE? And yet, ARMY gets like that sometimes.

See also Koreaboo, Dispatch and other publications we don't like

And before you say "not ALL ARMY" let me just remind you that "not ALL men" is the exact. same. statement. "Not REAL ARMY is like "not REAL men."

Which: granted and I don't entirely disagree, but I'll just say that people who identify as ARMY behave this way and rest assured that both BTS and BigHit are aware -- and market for it.

You're mad, now, maybe and I get it, so let's move on and not beat ARMY to death, k? I do feel like that for the majority of us, all we feel for Jimin, Jungkook and Taehyung is simply love and support. Misguided support, sometimes, but love and support nonetheless.

So imagine you're a young man - still a boy in many ways - and you are living with and surrounded by beautiful, legitimately stunning, other young men. And maybe you've had time to examine your own sexuality and maybe not but Namjoon has WOW THIGHS and guys are naked and girls were kind of cute but also very weird anyway, bros just make so much more sense and then

A wild Park Jimin appears. Geeky, until he dances and then it's a gaspy thing that happens. Also: THIGHS. And, um, an ass that won't quit also biceps and a sweet heart and a big brain and, well. Shit. Anyway he dances. And you wanna dance, too. Your assigned role is to be yourself, pretty much, as long as you're good at everything. Don't act too too happy to see him, all right?

OR... you're the wild Park Jimin and you stumble gaily forward into a whole new life and you see the biggest pair of doe eyes you have ever seen... and he's the got-damned maknae. Kid's a prodigy. From Busan. He's a complete turd 90% of the time, and your JOB is to play the gay buff boy who adores him and gets routinely rejected. OH SWEET JESUS WHY.

LORDT. You see where this is going. The unattainable baby, far too young to do ANYTHING meaningful with, and in the meantime there are other guys just shirtless wandering around like a whole Min Yoongi exists please excuse me I devolved overnight I apologize anyway where was i?

Taehyung. Oh thank the gods, he's safe anyway. Fun, a little wild, definitely attaches to people. Accidentally brilliant (he didn't even have to audition) and a little eccentric and interesting, and he's a 95 liner - CHINGU! - and they go to the same school and and and. He's savvy - he lost his Daegu satoori immediately to fit in. Asked his friends to take good care of his slightly older hyung. Partner in crime, pretty voice, pretty eyes, a slinky dork of a dude who... maybe doesn't have his sexuality 100% locked down but is well-versed in skinship. Lots of skinship. Lots and lots of skinship. Gonna be a star, that one.

Let the glowups commence right along with the narrative.

They're a marketer's homoerotic slightly underage wet dream.

To be continued...