I can’t say it doesn’t hurt anymore but I can say I’m almost there. It only hurts when I see a couple in the café we had our first date in or when I see you online at 2 am– remembering our 2 am’s. You’re across the country now, and I haven’t seen you in 9 months. Sometimes that hurts, because we’d still be in love if we were next to each other. It hurts, but only sometimes. And I hope you’re happy now, I truly do. I say it with a bitter edge, because yore kissing the girl who you said was just a friend. Maybe I was too jealous. But I hope you’re happy, even though I know you too well so i know you’re not. You’re afraid of being alone, that’s why you’re going to have a wedding ring on your finger in a few weeks. You’re not over me, that’s why we still fight. You shouldn’t care anymore. I hope she knows that. I hope you don’t think about me when you kiss her. I hope you feel carefree and full with her. I don’t know what I feel. Sometimes I want you to miss me so bad it hurts, and others, I hope I never cross your mind. I’ve always been like this, so indecisive. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It hurts sometimes. But only sometimes.
5/24/15 8:13pm, (h.b.)
