"Hey, doctor—is it true what they say about apples?"
"Apples?" Emmrich cocked a brow at Ms. Veryl and gave her a wary glance.
"Yeah. 'An apple a day keeps the doctor away,' or some nugshit like that."
"…er no, I can assure you that is demonstrably false."
Veryl threw her head back to let out a laugh and sarcastically replied, "No, shit?" She leaned her tall frame over the bar and swiped a jar filled with more cherries, and when Davrin opened his mouth to say something, the glare she leveled his way convinced him otherwise. Emmrich was sorely tempted to chuckle again, until she looked at him, and her glare turned teasing.
"Well, if it were true, I don't think Ayla'd eat another damn apple ever again."
Both Queenie and Veryl lost themselves in a proper laughing fit at that, and as Emmrich's cheeks once again flushed red for quite possibly the hundredth time that evening, he was rather surprised when Sheriff Gallus joined in. She shot him an apologetic look that was undercut by the numerous kiss marks all over her face. Sporting the same shockingly bright red as Queenie's lips.
"Lookin' forward to her big number?" Veryl asked.
His mouth went dry. "Oh! You mean to say…all that business earlier…wasn't…well, it?"
Queenie burst out howling in laughter, startling him, and Emmrich's stomach dropped when Ms. Veryl slowly shook her head while she plucked another cherry stem from between her teeth.
"Doc—you ain't seen nothin' yet."
…Oh dear.
Grab a drink at the bar & find a seat!
🍸 READ NOW ON AO3
More sneak peeks at the show below! 👇
𐚁 Emmrich, at Maker-forsaken Burlesque Night, because he is but a pitiful, lowly soul, disgustingly at the mercy of his desire
The stage lights dimmed, but Emmrich could make out a faint squeaking noise and the extraordinarily tall shadow of Mr. Iron Bull pushing something very large onto the stage. When he stopped, he stood next to it, and a much smaller shadow joined him on the other side just before the stage lights came back on, illuminating Iron Bull, Rook, and a giant…clam??
Gemma began furiously shaking her head out in the audience for some reason at the sight of it, and Zalan began a drumroll, only just covering up the muffled cursing in what Emmrich instantly recognized as Ayla's voice. The top of the clamshell jiggled once. Twice. Then once more, before Ayla herself burst out of it with a dramatic flourish, striking a provocative pose with a look of relief on her face.
Emmrich bit back a chuckle that died in his throat when Ayla took both Iron Bull and Rook's hands to step out of the clam—heavens, what a sentence—fully revealing a gorgeous gown made almost entirely of pearls, draped scandalously tight across her equally gorgeous curves.
Well…at least she was wearing something.
𐚁 Tal, having a little fun
"Tal! What the fuck?!" Davrin shouted as the horrible snofleur head above the piano crackled with flame. Neve threw a burst of ice its way, so it wasn't like the saloon was about to burn down, but the head was—fucking finally, if Tal was being honest—damaged beyond saving.
"You hated the thing anyway," Tal shrugged. He'd seen the disgusted glances Davrin kept throwing its way, but he'd never get rid of it, since Eldrin put it there.
Davrin sputtered, looking up at the charred thing in question. "That doesn't—you could have set fire to the place!"
"Davrin! I know how to aim!" Rook shouted, crossing his arms and shooting him a dazzling grin. Tal looked up at him in delighted disbelief.
"You did that on purpose?" he whispered.
"Fuck yeah, I did," Rook whispered back.
𐚁 Emmrich, not the faintest clue what he's in for
He gulped when Queenie hopped up on the barstool next to him, comfortably settling herself on it, locking him in a mischievous stare.
"Hmm, so Doc. Are you enjoying the friendly welcome to our little community?"
"Oh, yes. Ms. Thorne has been quite the attentive tour guide thus far. I'm grateful for her kindness. Truly."
Emmrich's stomach dropped when Queenie let out an amused cackle that was even louder than Ayla's, and her eyes darted back and forth between the two of them as Ayla fixed up drinks further down the bar, her tongue adorably poking out between her lips in concentration.
Queenie smirked. "Yeah, I bet." She tossed her feather boa around him and grabbed both ends of it, pulling him closer towards her, practically knocking his brandy out of the glass.
"I meant the show, darlin'," she clarified, her face inches from his.
He snickered. "While it's perfectly lovely, I'm not sure I've ever heard of a welcome quite like this one. In Nevarra, we're perfectly capable of being friendly with all of our clothes on."
Queenie let out another one of those laughs and mercifully released him, but leveled another smirk his way as he straightened out his vest. "I like you, Doc. So that's why I'm gonna give you a warning. You fuck with my girl Ayla, and you'll be answerin' to me. Do I make myself clear, darlin'?"
Emmrich nervously cleared his throat. "Crystal, Ms. Tabris."
"Good boy," she said, howling at the look on his face.
Yeehaw Peepaw! 🤠
Episode 5: GIRLS! GIRLS! GIRLS!
A Nugflix Original Series
Directed by @sunny374940 & @mushrooms-x-moss
THAT'S RIGHT! IT'S FINALLY HERE!
It's Burlesque Night at the Golden Griffon Saloon, and BOY, do the ladies down at the Griffon have quite the show planned for tonight.
Sunny and I managed to pack this episode with so many hijinks that it ended up being way too big to post in one chapter, so we've split it at a natural stopping point and posted Parts 1 & 2 at the same time on AO3.
Part 1 is all the fun lead-up, and Part 2 is the show. We've also got a ton of Rook guest-stars in this one, and you can check them out below!
READY FOR THE SHOW?
💃READ NOW ON AO3: PART 1 | PART 2
Yeehaw Peepaw! Master Post 🐴
★ Featuring ★
Ms. Queenie Tabris
Saloon girl, arsonist/town menace, Ayla's best gal pal, and Sheriff Neve Gallus' beau. @lycheecatee
Mrs. Gemma de Riva-Dellamorte
Wife of Lucanis Dellamorte, and butcher at Patas de Gallo (Crows Feet) AKA 'The Feet'. @serialsforbellara
Ms. Veryl
Saloon girl and mystery woman with a knack for 'unreasonably threatening seductions'. (Emmrich's words). @hedwigoprah
Mr. Akela de Riva
Town saddler and upright bass player in A Murder of Crows jazz band. @brightbreezeblog
Mr. Zalan de Riva
Town barber, romance novel enthusiast, and drummer in A Murder of Crows jazz band. @blackwall-my-tiny-husband
★ Mentioned ★
Mr. Anselm Ingellvar
Town tailor and owner of Hawkmoth Habberdashery. @vishantikaffar
Mrs. Kione Forsythia
School teacher and archeologist, wife of Edmond Forsythia, and mother to Lenny, Rupert, and Amalia. She makes the best damn quesadillas in town. @onelooseskull
Looking to catch up on the latest Yeehaw Peepaw? 👀
🧪 Episode 4: Tal's Potion No. 9
📺 Minisodes
#7: Sylvie Comes to Town
#8: Sylvie Hunts with Dav
🐴 Yeehaw Peepaw! Master Post
Taggin' the usual cowpokes below to say howdy! Gentle tags as always, and absolutely no pressure to read! ILYSM!!! 🤠💕
