TYSM for the tags @guacamolleee, @sorcerousadventurer, @xkatchy, @genjyoandgojyoandhakkai, @trashwithvariety, @seaglassmelody! I really loved getting a sneak peak at what y'all have cookin'!! 👀💕
In an attempt to break tradition and actually do a short snippet for once (lololol) here is a little scene I just finished for a future chapter of @sunny374940 & I's crazy Cowboy AU! 🤠
NO LONGER A WIP: READ THE FULL CHAPTER HERE!
Ayla, never more invested in a game of chess in her entire fuckin' life
"What's this one?" Ayla asked, flirtatiously leaning into Emmrich's shoulder.
"A mage, darling."
She smirked. "'Course it is. It's tall, just like you."
Em chuckled and beamed up at her before nodding across the table. "What about you, Bull?"
"Tamassran."
Emmrich made a pleased hum and repeated the name in Qunlat, momentarily distracting her. "What about the horsey?" she asked.
"Knight."
"Ben-Hassrath."
Ayla nodded, leaning further into Emmrich when she pointed to one of the only unique pieces on his side of the board. "And the one with the cute little hat?"
"The queen, dear."
"Arishok. Like our Ise." Emmrich raised a curious brow, and Bull explained, "'War-leader'."
"Ah, of course," Emmrich hummed, smiling at her. "Due to the extraordinarily versatile and powerful nature of the piece, I presume." Ayla fucking blushed, and Tal rolled his eyes as he wandered in to join them. But Bull just let out another loud laugh.
"Domineering, more like," he teased, making Tal choke on his wine.
Ayla flipped them off behind Emmrich's head, who surprised her by turning to shoot a sly smirk her way. "Looks like you've been promoted, darling." He snickered when she gave him a confused look. "From First Warden, to Arishok."
Tal damn near spilled his wine across the fucking chess board he laughed so hard, Bull and Emmrich right along with him. Ayla begrudgingly joined in, even though the look Em was giving her was gettin' her all hot and bothered. And fuck if he didn't notice it was making her feel something at least, given the sexy little wink he gave her too.
Andraste's tits.
🐴 Yeehaw Peepaw! Master Post
Tags below the cut! For all of y'all down below and anyone reading, show us what you got cookin' if you're so inclined! 💕
"Hey, doctor—is it true what they say about apples?"
"Apples?" Emmrich cocked a brow at Ms. Veryl and gave her a wary glance.
"Yeah. 'An apple a day keeps the doctor away,' or some nugshit like that."
"…er no, I can assure you that is demonstrably false."
Veryl threw her head back to let out a laugh and sarcastically replied, "No, shit?" She leaned her tall frame over the bar and swiped a jar filled with more cherries, and when Davrin opened his mouth to say something, the glare she leveled his way convinced him otherwise. Emmrich was sorely tempted to chuckle again, until she looked at him, and her glare turned teasing.
"Well, if it were true, I don't think Ayla'd eat another damn apple ever again."
Both Queenie and Veryl lost themselves in a proper laughing fit at that, and as Emmrich's cheeks once again flushed red for quite possibly the hundredth time that evening, he was rather surprised when Sheriff Gallus joined in. She shot him an apologetic look that was undercut by the numerous kiss marks all over her face. Sporting the same shockingly bright red as Queenie's lips.
"Lookin' forward to her big number?" Veryl asked.
His mouth went dry. "Oh! You mean to say…all that business earlier…wasn't…well, it?"
Queenie burst out howling in laughter, startling him, and Emmrich's stomach dropped when Ms. Veryl slowly shook her head while she plucked another cherry stem from between her teeth.
"Doc—you ain't seen nothin' yet."
…Oh dear.
Grab a drink at the bar & find a seat!
🍸 READ NOW ON AO3
More sneak peeks at the show below! 👇
𐚁 Emmrich, at Maker-forsaken Burlesque Night, because he is but a pitiful, lowly soul, disgustingly at the mercy of his desire
The stage lights dimmed, but Emmrich could make out a faint squeaking noise and the extraordinarily tall shadow of Mr. Iron Bull pushing something very large onto the stage. When he stopped, he stood next to it, and a much smaller shadow joined him on the other side just before the stage lights came back on, illuminating Iron Bull, Rook, and a giant…clam??
Gemma began furiously shaking her head out in the audience for some reason at the sight of it, and Zalan began a drumroll, only just covering up the muffled cursing in what Emmrich instantly recognized as Ayla's voice. The top of the clamshell jiggled once. Twice. Then once more, before Ayla herself burst out of it with a dramatic flourish, striking a provocative pose with a look of relief on her face.
Emmrich bit back a chuckle that died in his throat when Ayla took both Iron Bull and Rook's hands to step out of the clam—heavens, what a sentence—fully revealing a gorgeous gown made almost entirely of pearls, draped scandalously tight across her equally gorgeous curves.
Well…at least she was wearing something.
𐚁 Tal, having a little fun
"Tal! What the fuck?!" Davrin shouted as the horrible snofleur head above the piano crackled with flame. Neve threw a burst of ice its way, so it wasn't like the saloon was about to burn down, but the head was—fucking finally, if Tal was being honest—damaged beyond saving.
"You hated the thing anyway," Tal shrugged. He'd seen the disgusted glances Davrin kept throwing its way, but he'd never get rid of it, since Eldrin put it there.
Davrin sputtered, looking up at the charred thing in question. "That doesn't—you could have set fire to the place!"
"Davrin! I know how to aim!" Rook shouted, crossing his arms and shooting him a dazzling grin. Tal looked up at him in delighted disbelief.
"You did that on purpose?" he whispered.
"Fuck yeah, I did," Rook whispered back.
𐚁 Emmrich, not the faintest clue what he's in for
He gulped when Queenie hopped up on the barstool next to him, comfortably settling herself on it, locking him in a mischievous stare.
"Hmm, so Doc. Are you enjoying the friendly welcome to our little community?"
"Oh, yes. Ms. Thorne has been quite the attentive tour guide thus far. I'm grateful for her kindness. Truly."
Emmrich's stomach dropped when Queenie let out an amused cackle that was even louder than Ayla's, and her eyes darted back and forth between the two of them as Ayla fixed up drinks further down the bar, her tongue adorably poking out between her lips in concentration.
Queenie smirked. "Yeah, I bet." She tossed her feather boa around him and grabbed both ends of it, pulling him closer towards her, practically knocking his brandy out of the glass.
"I meant the show, darlin'," she clarified, her face inches from his.
He snickered. "While it's perfectly lovely, I'm not sure I've ever heard of a welcome quite like this one. In Nevarra, we're perfectly capable of being friendly with all of our clothes on."
Queenie let out another one of those laughs and mercifully released him, but leveled another smirk his way as he straightened out his vest. "I like you, Doc. So that's why I'm gonna give you a warning. You fuck with my girl Ayla, and you'll be answerin' to me. Do I make myself clear, darlin'?"
Emmrich nervously cleared his throat. "Crystal, Ms. Tabris."
"Good boy," she said, howling at the look on his face.
Yeehaw Peepaw! 🤠
Episode 5: GIRLS! GIRLS! GIRLS!
A Nugflix Original Series
Directed by @sunny374940 & @mushrooms-x-moss
THAT'S RIGHT! IT'S FINALLY HERE!
It's Burlesque Night at the Golden Griffon Saloon, and BOY, do the ladies down at the Griffon have quite the show planned for tonight.
Sunny and I managed to pack this episode with so many hijinks that it ended up being way too big to post in one chapter, so we've split it at a natural stopping point and posted Parts 1 & 2 at the same time on AO3.
Part 1 is all the fun lead-up, and Part 2 is the show. We've also got a ton of Rook guest-stars in this one, and you can check them out below!
READY FOR THE SHOW?
💃READ NOW ON AO3: PART 1 | PART 2
Yeehaw Peepaw! Master Post 🐴
★ Featuring ★
Ms. Queenie Tabris
Saloon girl, arsonist/town menace, Ayla's best gal pal, and Sheriff Neve Gallus' beau. @lycheecatee
Mrs. Gemma de Riva-Dellamorte
Wife of Lucanis Dellamorte, and butcher at Patas de Gallo (Crows Feet) AKA 'The Feet'. @serialsforbellara
Ms. Veryl
Saloon girl and mystery woman with a knack for 'unreasonably threatening seductions'. (Emmrich's words). @hedwigoprah
Mr. Akela de Riva
Town saddler and upright bass player in A Murder of Crows jazz band. @brightbreezeblog
Mr. Zalan de Riva
Town barber, romance novel enthusiast, and drummer in A Murder of Crows jazz band. @blackwall-my-tiny-husband
★ Mentioned ★
Mr. Anselm Ingellvar
Town tailor and owner of Hawkmoth Habberdashery. @vishantikaffar
Mrs. Kione Forsythia
School teacher and archeologist, wife of Edmond Forsythia, and mother to Lenny, Rupert, and Amalia. She makes the best damn quesadillas in town. @onelooseskull
Looking to catch up on the latest Yeehaw Peepaw? 👀
🧪 Episode 4: Tal's Potion No. 9
📺 Minisodes
#7: Sylvie Comes to Town
#8: Sylvie Hunts with Dav
🐴 Yeehaw Peepaw! Master Post
Taggin' the usual cowpokes below to say howdy! Gentle tags as always, and absolutely no pressure to read! ILYSM!!! 🤠💕
In the last episode of Nugflix's DATV x DAI Western, Ayla taught wee El how to shoot a pistol, and then everyone had A Damn Time at the doctor's.
Tal attempted to hide his terror by bitching his way through a check-up with Dr. Volkarin—unfortunately, a harrowing one for poor Mr. Lavellan, thanks to the heaps of trauma previously bestowed upon him by the not-so-dearly-departed Dr. Mac Tir.
And Ayla and Emmrich both shed a few tears during her own appointment for that stupid (Ayla's words) knife wound of hers. Over a dead mama and a dead wife, respectively.
...After Doc discovered her boob knife, of course.
But those two were looking mighty cozy at the end of last episode. Even despite Granny's cryptic warnings about Emmrich's wife. Oh yeah, and Ayla discovering he was actually a WILTF (widower she'd like to fuck).
But hey—this is good ol' Doc Volkarin we're talkin' about! Granny's probably just mistaken.
...Right?
Yeehaw Peepaw! 🤠
Episode 7: Knives Out
A Nugflix Original Series
Directed By @sunny374940 & @mushrooms-x-moss
THIS ONE'S GOT:
☕ Lucanis' Court of Crows
🍽️ A luncheon hosted by dear Mr. Iron Bull
♟️ An Emmrich vs. Bull chess match
✨ Manfred wishes at the town well
🎯 KNARTS!!
READY TO NUGFLIX & CHILL?
🗡️ READ NOW ON AO3!
Episode vibe check & sneak peek below!
EPISODE 7 VIBE CHECK
𐚁 Ayla, angry and horny as hell, cursing Doc's poor dead wife (Maker bless her), 'cause if it wasn't for her, they'd probably be kissin' already
"Well?" Emmrich asked, turning to her. "What did you wish for?"
Ayla laughed. "Doc! Don't you know? It won't come true if you tell." He rolled his eyes, but didn't press any further.
Well, at least about that.
"What if you told me what's troubling you instead, then, hm?" She opened her mouth to protest, but was met with another stern, incredibly sexy look. "No—don't try to deny it. I can tell you're not 'peachy' at all, dear."
She blew out a frustrated huff of air. "Fucking Mac Tir."
"Ah." A look of understanding crossed Emmrich's face, as did a whisper of unmistakable fury.
"That's actually what my wish was about," Ayla admitted. "It's so insane it's not like it would ever come true anyway." Emmrich raised an eyebrow at her, and she made a sheepish face.
"…I wished he'd come back to life so I could kill him all over again."
Ayla assumed he would laugh at her. Tell her she was ridiculous or something. But instead, he just nodded and gave her a sinful smile that made her guts feel like they were on fire.
"I can't say that Tal's story has made me any less regretful," he murmured, moving closer until their legs were touching. "But as for your wish—I'm a necromancer, darling. It's quite possible that could absolutely be arranged."
She threw her head back to let out a wildly loud cackle, damn near falling backwards into the well, the heat that was building in her belly—not just from her own anger, but Emmrich's—growing even more when he reached out to grab her, looping his arms around her waist and pulling her up off the edge of it and into his arms.
"...And I really must insist you find another seat."
His hands lingered on Ayla's waist while they stupidly stood there, staring at each other for just a few seconds too long until they remembered themselves...and this time, she was pretty damn sure he wasn't the only one who was blushing.
She grabbed his arm, and they started walking again. "What did you wish for, Em?"
"I shall be keeping mine a secret, I'm afraid." He gave her a sideways glance along with another sly smile.
“…As I'm very much hoping that it will come true."
🗡️ FULL EPISODE ON AO3!
★ Featuring ★
Mr. Zalan de Riva
Town barber, romance novel enthusiast, and drummer in A Murder of Crows jazz band. @blackwall-my-tiny-husband
Mrs. Gemma de Riva-Dellamorte
Wife of Lucanis Dellamorte, and butcher at Patas de Gallo (Crows Feet) AKA 'The Feet'. @serialsforbellara
Looking to catch up on the latest Yeehaw Peepaw? 👀
🩺 Episode 6: An Arm & A Leg
❤️🔥 New On NugfliXXX!
Lose the clothes, kadan
🐴 Yeehaw Peepaw! Master Post
Taggin' the usual cowpokes below to say howdy! Gentle tags as always, and absolutely no pressure to read! ILYSM!!! 🤠💕
Woopsie. Looks like our heroine Ms. Thorne is in some mighty deep nugshit...
FUCKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!
Ayla looked down at her hands. But they didn't really feel like her hands. They were also shaking, which was strange, and only made that weird feeling even worse. Over the past few years, she'd snuffed out more assholes than she could count, but her hands never shook like this before.
She also didn't think she had ever seen this much blood.
It was fucking everywhere. All over the hands that she guessed were her hands, even though they didn't feel like it. The warped wooden floorboards. Even the damn walls.
Ayla watched as more of it continued to seep out of the dead man next to her and onto the floor, the rug changing colors before her eyes as a dark crimson stain bloomed out across it, and she let out a very long sigh.
...This was gonna be a bitch to clean.
🗡️WATCH EPISODE 3 NOW!
Yeehaw Peepaw! 🤠
Episode 3: Murder, She Cackled
A Nugflix Original Series
Directed By @sunny374940 & @mushrooms-x-moss
Wellllllp. This probably won't surprise anyone who caught the behind-the-scenes look at Sunny & I's creative process over here at Chaos Labs Productions™️ but the original Episode 3 grew to be wayyy too big for a single episode, so we split it into two! 😂 Which means we'll meet Mad Scientist Tal in the next episode.
But first: Ayla made a little woopsie in this one...I'm sure Emmrich will totally understand!!
You can read it over on AO3, and catch the updated vibe check plus a sneak peek below!
READY TO NUGFLIX AND CHILL?
🗡️WATCH NOW ON AO3!
UPDATED EPISODE 3 VIBE CHECK
🐴 Master Post | New On Nugflix | Library
An insane laugh bubbled up out of Ayla, surprising her, and she clapped her hands over her mouth to stifle it.
Biiiiiig mistake. Because now a bunch of the blood on her hands was also on her face.
Which was fucking gross.
She willed herself to get up from where she was kneeling on the floor—still shaking, chest heaving—but her stupid legs wouldn't move for some reason. She let out another sigh and looked around, figuring she could at least try to come up with a plan while her body was being a dick.
Damn, the Venatori shithead took up so much room. For some reason, he looked a lot bigger now than when she was curling up in his lap at the bar.
When she saw one of those fancy fuckin' knives all the cult members used, Ayla barely even thought about it before she sidled up and plopped herself right onto his legs. After letting him buy her a drink and making sure she pressed her boobs into him a few times, getting him up to her room was almost too easy.
Ayla let out another panicked laugh when she thought about the absolute shitshow it was gonna be getting him out of it.
What the FUCK was she going to do???
*rap rap rap*
She damn near jumped out of her skin when she heard the sudden knocks on her door, the three quick little raps already telling her who it was even before they announced themselves.
"Ms. Thorne? It's Emmrich."
Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.
🗡️READ THE FULL EPISODE ON AO3!
Taggin' the usual cowpokes below to say howdy! Gentle tags as always, and absolutely no pressure to read! ILYSM!!! 🤠💕
Minisodes are part of the Yeehaw Peepaw! cinematic universe, and give you a look into the backstories of some of your favorite Lavendel residents. They're completely stand alone mini-fics that you can read in any order you damn well please, and you don't have to have read or be caught up with the main storyline to enjoy. And while recommended, they're not required viewing for the main episodes either.
Just think of them as the saucy little feather boa Ms. Thorne wears for her burlesque numbers. The show sure as shit ain't gonna be spoiled without it, but it does add some mighty fine pizzazz! 🤌
📺 Taliesin Lavellan, 9:48 Dragon
Directed by @sunny374940
READ ON AO3!
Tal & Ayla's friendship caught even Sunny & I by surprise, and we've had so much fun writing their dynamic, Sunny had to put their friendship meet-cute down on the page. And holy shit I'm glad he did. 🤣💕
📺 Ayla Thorne, 9:27 Dragon
Directed by @mushrooms-x-moss
READ ON AO3!
Y'all know that my girl Ayla swears like a sailor, so it was quite the challenge writing a 7-year-old version of her! I've only ever alluded to this bit of Ayla's backstory in passing in my other fics, so it kind of broke my heart a little (in a good way) to write this one. The antagonist is slightly different in this AU...but unfortunately I think that makes it worse. Sorry lol. 🥲
🐴 Master Post | New On Nugflix | Library
LOOKIN' TO CATCH UP ON THE LATEST EPISODES? 👀
👉 Check out the Yeehaw Peepaw! Master Post
Ever wondered what it would be like if Ayla and Emmrich Weekend-at-Bernie's-d a dead guy? Watch Episode 1 Now!
Curious how a little post-hijinks interrogation with Sheriff Neve would go? Watch Episode 2 Now!
Taggin' the usual cowpokes below! I love you buckaroos! 💕
TYSM for the tags @sunny374940, @redaresss, @sorcerousadventurer, @kogarashi-art, & @xkatchy, I love y'all and I very much enjoyed seeing all the cool stuff you're working on! 💕
This one goes out to all my Crow moots! But especially @serialsforbellara, who (possibly unknowingly) provided me with a few of Lucanis' and Gemma's lines near the end. 😏
Y'all know the drill by now, it is just not humanly possible for me to post a short WIP. #SorryNotSorry or something lol
I've been unofficially referring to this passage as 'The Knife Fight', and it's only one of the reasons the next chapter of Sunny & I's Cowboy AU is called 'Knives Out'....so do with that what you will.😂🗡️
TO SET THE SCENE: Emmrich is visiting the Dellamorte's specialty foods shop, Patas de Gallo ('crow's feet'). No one besides the other Crows in town can pronounce it, so everyone just calls it 'The Feet'...which, as I'm sure you can imagine, Lucanis is just absolutely THRILLED about.
Emmrich nodded as Zalan held the door open for him, both of them wincing when they were greeted with the loud grumblings of a very incensed Lucanis. But Emmrich found himself smiling when he heard Ayla cackling in response.
"Maker's breath, y'all are such snobs."
He was grinning wildly now, even more so when he neared the back of the shop, and the madwoman herself came into view. Ayla was leaning over a tall worktable, only able to reach it because she was atop another little stool. Her sleeves were rolled up as she was kneading dough of some sort, and despite the apron she had put on over her rather fine teal dress, she was absolutely covered in flour.
"Guns are crude—rudimentary weapons at best," Lucanis spat over his espresso.
Gemma nodded in agreement, Sylvie right along with her, adding, "And they're too bloody loud!"
Ayla scoffed. "If I'm usin' a gun, it's to save my damn skin!" Lucanis glared at her when her enthusiastic arm waving tossed a bit of flour onto his vest, but Emmrich snickered.
"Knives ain't exactly range weapons, sugar," she huffed, cocking her hip to the side and sassily putting a hand on it, leaving a flour print in its wake. "And I ain't givin' a rat's ass over how loud it is when I got a pack of fuckin' darkspawn runnin' after my tail."
Emmrich snickered again when Ayla added an impertinent eye roll in Lucanis' direction. He noticed she tended to drop even more of her g's than usual when she was all riled up, and despite her foul language, he found it extraordinarily charming.
"Hiya, Doc!"
Ayla's face lit up upon spying him, making him grin even more. They leaned towards one another for her customary kiss hello on the cheek, the act such a habit by now that Emmrich thought nothing of it until he stood back up only to find the entire room staring at them, mouths agape. If Ayla noticed, she certainly didn't act like it, so Emmrich decided to follow her lead and ignored them altogether.
"Hello, dear. What are you up to?"
She scoffed. "Gettin' ganged up on, that's what." Ayla leveled another glare towards Lucanis and his court of Crows.
"Hm, that hardly seems fair," he declared, returning Ayla's mischievous smile.
"She exaggerates. Do not listen to her, Emmrich," Lucanis said with a smirk. "Welcome to Patas de Gallo. Would you like one?" he asked, nodding to his espresso.
"Hey! You didn't offer me shit!" Ayla interjected. "And half this bread's for you!" She laughed and flicked more flour towards Lucanis' vest—this time on purpose—making him curse, then chuckle whenever he successfully maneuvered away. "I even made your favorite, you asshole."
Lucanis rolled his eyes, but his smile was sincere. As was the one creeping across Ayla's face as he teased, "Yes, how rude of me. I only give you unfettered access to my bakery whenever your little loca heart desires. You're right—I absolutely should give you free coffee too."
"Really?"
"No! Mierda."
Gemma nudged him. "Come on, Nugchop."
"No." He smirked. "Not until la jefa admits she is wrong, and that knives are better than guns."
Ayla cursed under her breath. "Well, guess I ain't ever gettin' that damn coffee, then. 'Cause you're the one who's wrong."
Lucanis rolled his eyes, but gave him a warm smile. "Emmrich? What would you like?"
"I'll take a latte, please, if it's not too much trouble," he said, despite the fact that he was really more of a tea drinker. But he recalled the excited look on Ayla's face when she came into the apothecary the other day, raving about a latte of some sort that Lucanis had given her.
"Excellent choice," Lucanis declared with a nod. "Coming right up." He whisked away on those ridiculously silent feet of his, and Emmrich could no longer hold in his smirk when he turned to see Ayla's quizzical expression.
"I thought you didn't drink coffee," she whispered under her breath.
He leaned down to murmur into her ear, "Quite right, darling," reveling in the look of pure, wicked delight on her face when she understood. "What are you making, by the way?" he asked, absent-mindedly wiping a bit of flour off her nose. "It smells delicious." In fact, the entire place did. Like roasted coffee beans, fresh herbs, and sweets.
"Rosemary bread," Ayla explained, her eyes lighting up. "I'm makin' a loaf for Granny, you, and Bull—plus Mr. Grumpy Goose over there."
Emmrich's heart melted, and he murmured a thank you before remembering why he was there in the first place—as he'd strangely completely forgotten—and he relayed Bull's lunch invitation with a grin. Just as Lucanis arrived with his latte.
"Thank you, Lucanis," he said, accepting it gratefully before startling and asking Ayla, "Oh! Would you like to have a taste, dear?" as if he'd only just thought to offer.
She accepted it with a pleased smirk that he mirrored back to her, although it slightly wavered when she kissed him on the cheek in thanks, an incredulous Lucanis staring at them all the while.
"Knives are absolutely ranged weapons by the way," he muttered from across the room, taking a sip of another espresso.
…My word. How much coffee did the man drink?
"Well, duh, Lucanis," Ayla sassed. "But I can't exactly go grab my fuckin' throwing knife out of a darkspawn's neck when I got about a dozen other ones chasin' after me."
Lucanis scoffed. "Every situation you're using is the same. How often are you really getting chased by those things, la jefa?"
"All the damn time?! Or have you forgotten I'm a Warden??" Ayla flashed him an incredulous look. "Fightin' darkspawn's literally my job!"
"SHE. LIES," Spite growled through Lucanis' teeth, who added. "No. Your job is singing at the saloon. Name one other situation you would actually encounter around here where a gun is better than a knife."
Ayla glowered at Lucanis beside him, but it was Emmrich who spoke next. "Just the other day, Ayla shot a coyote mid-air right in the head as it was lunging towards us." He gave her a nod. "It was most impressive. I dare say a knife would have been quite useless. And the noise scared off the rest of the pack stalking nearby," he added while Ayla beamed at him.
"Well, damn," Sylvie breathed.
"Badass!" Gemma grinned, and Zalan nodded in agreement.
"Hmm. I will admit that does sound quite impressive," Lucanis conceded. "But knives are still better weapons overall."
Ayla let out an annoyed huff. “What about that saying 'don’t bring a knife to a gunfight'?”
Lucanis shrugged. "That does not apply to us."
"That’s not taking into account who’s wielding the knife," Gemma argued.
Lucanis wrapped a smug arm around Gemma's shoulders and kissed her cheek. "Exactly, querida."
"Also—I don't have to load a knife," Gemma added.
"Do you know how expensive ammo is?" Lucanis asked him with a grin.
Now it was Emmrich's turn to shrug. "Er…to be quite honest, I haven't the faintest clue."
Ayla burst out in a loud cackle. "Damn, I love y'all," she said, taking another sip of her latte before giving them a cheeky look.
"…Even if you are full of shit."
🐴 Yeehaw Peepaw! Master Post
Tagging the usual cowpokes below to say hi and to gently ask you to show us what you've got cookin' (if you'd like to of course)! @tricksy-hobbitses-ao3 I'm taggin' you too since you said you were a newly-minted veteran Crow fanatic. 💜🫶
Ms. Thorne & Doc Volkarin sure got themselves mixed up into a whole heapin' helpin' of trouble, huh?
Bless their hearts.
And, unfortunately for them, Sheriff Gallus - AKA Lavendel's friendly officer of the law - would like to have a word or two...
Yeehaw Peepaw! 🤠
Episode 2: Interview With a Killer
A Nugflix Original Series
Directed By @sunny374940 & @mushrooms-x-moss
LET THE INTERROGATION BEGIN
🕵️♀️ READ EPISODE 2 NOW!
Whoa there, partner! Ain't nothin' to worry yer pretty little head over. The sheriff just wants to ask a few questions is all. And then you can go on along your merry way.
This episode's got:
🔍 Classic detective tropes
🐦⬛ Ayla's little birdy friends
😏 Townie Doc reaction POVs
👀 & more than a few secret reveals...
READ EP. 2 HERE!
UNDER THE CUT:
EP. 2 SNEAK PEEK
+ NUGFLIX MINISODES! 📺
🐴 Master Post | New On Nugflix | Library
Mr. Volkarin was fancy, El thought. Very fancy.
He even buttoned his shirts all the way up, which Dad never did. And the apothecary smelled nice since he took it over. It always stank like disinfectant in there back when Mr. Mac Tir was their doctor, but Mr. Volkarin had dried flowers everywhere. And herbs and stuff El didn't understand, but he always explained when she asked.
He was nice. And kind and called El a young lady, which showed that he didn't really know her yet, because no one who knew her called her that.
But, and this was an important but: he was also a liar.
El could tell when people lied because she had a lot of experience lying. And also because Granny taught her how to spot a liar. Granny said that if El knew how to tell if someone was lying, then she could also make sure that people didn't spot her lies.
Granny was fun like that.
And knowing how to lie was useful when she was caught stealing Ayla's baking. But Mr. Volkarin wasn't as good at lying as El. He was very good and fooled a lot of people.
But not El.
🔍 Read the full episode on AO3!
📺 NEW ON NUGFLIX 📺
YEEHAW PEEPAW! MINISODES
READ NOW ON AO3!
When I say that Sunny boy and I have been possessed by the Yeehaw Peepaw! AU demon, I sure as shit mean it.
We've been George R.R. Martin-ing the hell outta this thing, and we've already got more character lore and all sorts of good stuff written than we really know what to do with.
'Cept that's a lie, cause we turned some of it into minisodes.
What's a minisode you ask? Great question.
Minisodes are part of the Yeehaw Peepaw! cinematic universe, and give you a look into the backstories of some of your favorite Lavendel residents. We're writing these whenever the spirits move us, so only the Maker knows when the hell they'll be released, but the very first two are NOW AVAILABLE, and were directed by my darling, genius co-creator Sunny. 🌞
The best part about these minisodes? While we're gonna intentionally release them into the wild between episodes where they make the most narrative sense, they're completely stand alone little mini-fics, and you can read them in any order you damn well please.
You can access the first two minisodes on AO3 above, and on the Yeehaw Peepaw! tumblr master post here.
★ Ms. Queenie Tabris ★
@lycheecatee
★ Ms. Veryl 'V' [LAST NAME REDACTED] ★
@hedwigoprah
★ Zea ★
@redaresss
Taggin' the usual cowpokes below, plus a few extra pals I think might get a kick outta this! Gentle tags as always, and absolutely no pressure to read! 🤠
Okay so I have been tagged in many things by many of my lovely friends and I'm so very behind on everything. So I'm throwing this out here to say hi <3 love you all.
Starting off with Self Care Sunday, cause the snippet I'm about to share ties into Trans Visibility Day (yes, I am aware I'm late, but I'm late to everything :D so I shall be visible today at least).
Prompt: You flip through your work (published or WIP, doesn't matter) and share whatever little section you're genuinely proud of. Something that makes you smile or swoon or that tugs at your heartstrings just the way you want it to. Let's give ourselves a little pat on the back and normalize being proud of our work ❤
So, I started writing a love story about two trans disasters last year (and by the gods, I will finish it one day), and this scene here is when my boy Aidan finally figures it out. I like that bit. It helped me crack my egg, funnily enough. The story is Birds in Flight, btw.
Her mind kept going back to what Cyrus told her, because she couldn’t fit the shape of it inside her head, and it was very effectively keeping her from settling down to sleep. If he was right and everyone had a voice that told them who they were, then that would have meant –
A shadow dropped onto the sand an arm’s reach away and she almost jumped out of her skin.
Cyrus chuckled softly, picking up a branch from the woodpile and sticking the tip of it into the fire. “You aren’t too good at seeing your enemies come, not-soldier.”
“Are you my enemy?” she asked, leaning back on her arms.
He watched her for a moment, considering. “Are you mine?”
“I don’t think so. It seems stupid now, the war and everything. I just… I want to stop it.”
“So do I,” Cyrus said quietly, turning the burning branch slowly around in his fingers. The fire reflected in his eyes and painted his face in warm light. It turned his hair golden and he was so beautiful with it down that she had to fidget with her hands so she wouldn’t give in to the need to tuck a strand of it behind his ear.
“Can’t sleep?” he asked after a silent while, during which she’d started drawing patterns in the sand with her finger.
“Yes, I… I was thinking too much.”
“What about?”
“About what you told me. I…” Oh, fuck it, if there was anyone in the world who would understand, it would be him. “What if I wanted to be a man?” she asked, voice shaking, finger trembling between grains of sand. She couldn’t bear to look at him.
“Then you could be one. Have you found your voice?”
“I think I have,” she nodded.
“And what did it tell you?”
She took a breath. Could she really – “That I’m a man,” he said and bit his lip, because it couldn’t be this simple.
Cyrus was silent and he forced himself to look up at him. He didn’t know what he expected to see, but he needed to get it over with. And Cyrus was watching him with a soft smile, head tilted to the side. “Feels good, doesn’t it? Finding yourself.”
He nodded and had to smile back at him. It felt disorienting. Too good. Too right.
“And what’s your name, pretty boy?” Cyrus asked, still smiling.
He could feel his face flush. Pretty? Was he just saying that? And he hadn’t really thought this far ahead and he didn’t know. “I think I need to figure that out,” he sighed.
Cyrus threw the branch into the fire in a shower of sparks. “No rush. But you should probably tell those two.”
He hadn’t thought about this either. Telling Cyrus was one thing, but other people… “I… yes, you’re right, but… how?”
Cyrus’s brows drew together. “Just tell them? What’s so hard about it?”
“What if they’re angry with me?” he whispered like a damn child.
And Cyrus got the most bewildered expression he had ever seen on him. “Why in the world would they be angry about that?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t met anyone who understood this before you.”
“They won’t be. They weren’t angry with me when they found out, so they won’t be angry with you. Don’t think about that, think about names. Everyone needs one.”
He nodded. Cyrus flopped onto his back, stretching himself out, and he added more wood to the fire. And flopped onto his back too, staring at the dark ceiling.
Names. He’d never liked his old one and now he could really forget it in its entirety. He was free to choose anything he wanted and maybe it would be silly to pick one from a book, but he’d always envied the hero of that particular fairytale when he was a child. He always wanted to be free like that.
“I’m Aidan,” he whispered into the night.
“Nice to meet you, Aidan,” Cyrus whispered back. It sounded good, coming from him.
And Aidan was a man now. Just like that. Just a shift in thinking and it was there, the thing he'd been missing his entire life.
Himself.
For WIP Wednesday, I've got a little bit of the next chapter of The bed is big enough for three, isn't it?. I am not abandoning the story, even though writing Tal without Ayla is taking some adjusting :D Tal finally woke up after nearly freezing to death and people were worried about him for some reason.
"Are you decent?" Dorian called from outside the tent, and Tal couldn't help but chuckle when he remembered their last time together in a tent.
"Yeah!" he called and Dorian wasted no time entering and giving him a very worried once-over.
Tal was of course doing the same to him, but Dorian seemed fine besides the circles under his eyes.
"How are you feeling?" Dorian asked as he walked closer, wincing when he saw Tal's fucked up hand. Getting dressed was going to be fun.
"Fine," Tal lied with a shrug. He was annoyed with Bull, jealous of a fucking Chantry sister of all people, and really fucking done with dragons and Elder Ones and the fucking bloody awful thing on his hand that just had to decide to flare the fuck up and make his hand twinge.
He shook it out with a hiss.
"Of course," Dorian nodded, visibly not believing him.
"Is he awake?' Sera shouted from the outside.
"He would be now if he wasn't already," Dorian called back, like he'd been much quieter when he came along.
Sera fought her way into the tent, limped her way to Tal while leaning heavily on a crutch, gave his right wrist a worried look, and smacked him on the head.
"Sorry?" Tal offered.
"I told you you're not dying," she growled and smacked him again.
Hey, @mushrooms-x-moss, this one's for you. You know why.
"Ise, wake your ass up," Tal whispered, poking her shoulder again. "We'll be late."
"To whaaattt?" she groaned and patted around to grab her pillow and burrow her head under it. As if he was going to let her get away with that.
He stole the pillow and smacked her ass with it. "You'll see if you come with me. Or did you forget what day it is?"
She froze for a moment and Tal could almost hear the gears turning, before she sprang right up, pillow flying to the floor. "What did you get me?"
"This," Tal grinned, pushing the bag of her favorite disgusting caramels and whatever other awfully sticky sweet things he'd managed to order from Orlais, "and a surprise."
She lit up and immediately dug inside the bag to pop a caramel into her mouth. "Thanks, Tally boy," she smiled brightly and smacked a sticky kiss on his cheek. "You're the sweetest."
"Am not," he sighed. "Come on, we can't let the sun catch us."
She got ready quickly this once and he led her out into the hills. He'd spent the entire night getting stuff ready, but it would be so worth it.
"Soooo?" she drawled once they stopped on a cliff overlooking the town. She'd been quiet on the way there, probably because she'd spent the entire time yawning and rubbing her eyes, as if it wasn't nearly dawn. "What did you get me?"
Tal sat, dangling his legs above the darkness below, and dragged her down next to him. "Throw this down there and find out," he said, offering up a firebomb. A small one, but it would do the trick.
She took it with an excited grin. "A little fire, Mr. Lavellan?"
"For you, Ms. Thorne? Always," he grinned back and let his fingers crawl with flame so she could set the fuse off.
"Aim for that rock over there," he told her and she nodded, the sparking fuse reflecting in her delighted eyes like starlight.
She lobbed it down there and they both watched the sparks retreat until they disappeared in the dark.
The firebomb exploded exactly when it should have, and then the ground shook.
That may have been a little more gunpowder than necessary, but really, who cared?
Tal definitely didn't, not when the sparkly pink one went off first, the sparks almost touching their feet to Ayla's joyful cackle. The next one went even higher, painting the starry sky with explosions of color, and Tal wrapped his mechanical arm around her shoulders to enjoy the show.
"Happy nameday, Ise," he whispered and accepted another sticky sweet kiss to the cheek without a flinch.
"Aww, Tally boy, you really are the sweetest," she smiled, resting her head on his shoulder.
He really wasn't, but who cared? She was happy and that was what mattered.
No pressure tags for @mushrooms-x-moss, @lavender-tea-fling, @mercars-musings, @redheadsramblings, @starfleetteddybear, @sorrowsfallallaround, @tinygameralec, @notyourmamasdeerbat, @hedwigoprah, @bygonesigh, @andthekitchensinkao3, @saintsandsorcery, @the-bear-and-his-sunbird, @thedissonantverses, @blackwall-my-tiny-husband, @chaosherald, @justjasper, @doctoraceus, @davrinsleftpectoral, @themontess, @lycheecatee, @vishantikaffar, @serialsforbellara, @redaresss ☀️ in case you want to share what you're up to <3
