❛ i never meant to hurt you. ❜ for Anders and whoever you fancy?
Inky!Anders/Solas, in Trespasser. (This got away from me in length and is making me want to write an Inky!Anders longfic)
Anders stared in shock at the eluvian. "It works?" he confirmed with Merrill.
"I... didn't do anything, this time, I swear! No blood, no demons, I just... touched it this morning and it turned on!" she said excitedly, waving her hands through the air as she spoke.
Anders ran his fingers through the ends of his braids. Leliana had insisted on them, as opposed to his usual messy ponytail or loose bun. More respectable, she claimed.
"And you think... he's behind it?" Merrill nodded, her expression faltering.
"If the Qunari are right, and he's an agent of Fen'Harel..." She cut herself off. "This will lead you to him."
Anders was grateful he knew her so well, that she'd stayed by his side despite his and Justice's anti-demon, anti-blood magic tirades. He could tell she disagreed with Viddasala's theory from just a few quiet tells. "'If she's right'? And if she's wrong?"
The little elf's face crumpled, and she flung her arms around him, causing him to stumble back. "It will lead you to him, either way. But lethallin, if she's wrong..."
Anders pushed her back gently, hands on her shoulders. "You have your own thoughts on his role in this." It wasn't a question.
Merrill hiccuped, wiping at her face. "I don't think he's an agent of Fen'Harel. I think..."
No. That was impossible. Anders shoved her back more forcefully than he intended, blue veilfire cracking through his skin. "Don't say that, Merrill."
"He is Fen'Harel," she whispered guiltily.
"No!" Anders cried out as the Mark flared at his distress. Justice usually silenced the pain, but not this time. Anders collapsed to his knees, clutching his palm as agonising tendrils of sickly green light tore up past his elbow.
His vision greyed out from the pain, and when it faded back into colour, Merrill was cradling his head in her lap, gently combing out the braids Leliana had painstakingly woven for him. He sat up shakily, cracking his stiff neck and flexing the fingers that had seized up from the Mark's flaring.
"That was a bit dramatic of me, I guess," he joked weakly, and she gave him a watery smile.
"Maybe a little, lethallin... I'm sorry."
"Don't, Merrill. Just- don't." He pushed himself to his feet, wobbling slightly. "I just... step through?"
"Please don't do this, Anders, lethallin," she begged, catching at his sleeves. "Let me go, instead. You don't want to face him yourself."
Anders shook her off. "I have to do this, Merrill. It's on me. Whatever he's doing, whatever his plan is, that's on me."
Anders rushed between the horrifically lifelike Qunari statues, after the voice he and Justice could hear echoing through the Crossroads. A voice so hauntingly familiar that the both of them ached to hear it, two years later. A voice he and Justice hunted for in the Fade nightly.
"Your forces have failed. Leave now, and tell the Qunari to trouble me no further."
Anders struggled to the summit just as Solas turned his back on Viddasala. She charged him, but seemingly without moving a muscle, Solas petrified her.
Merrill was right. No mere agent of a rejected god could do this.
"Solas," he called across the weathered landscape, his voice echoing with the undercurrents of Justice's.
The elf-god paused, turning slowly towards Anders as he moved closer. He fell to his knees again as the Mark sent red-hot agony up his arm, beyond Justice's ability to soothe away. His throat burned with the tortured yell that ripped from him.
Anders' leggings were soaked through at the knee, and he felt a distant pang of remorse for the lovely leathers, ruined by water, as the flare went on longer than before. Anders began to fear this was the end, when Solas's eyes flashed fade-blue, and the pain stopped as quickly as it had begun. Anders panted a moment before scrambling to his feet.
"That should give us more time." Solas said quietly, his eyes soft and worried. "I suspect you have questions."
Anders bit back a sob at the tender look in his former lover's eyes, only Justice's strength and Vengance's rage keeping him from collapsing into Solas's arms. "The Qunari were trying to kill you. I needed- I wanted to get here first."
Solas smiled fondly. "I know. They sought an agent of Fen'Harel."
Anders closed his eyes, flinching away from the words he knew would come next.
"I am no-one's agent but my own. I fear that the truth is much simpler, and much worse, than the Qunari believe."
"Merrill was right," he spat bitterly. "You're Fen'Harel."
Solas sighed, eyes roaming over Anders' body. Anders stared him down, taking in the changes the passed years had wrought in the elf. He was broader, more powerful looking, apostate's rags exchanged for gleaming amour and rich, plush furs. Yet he looked tired, less full of life, like something heavy hung around his neck.
"I was Solas first. 'Fen'Harel' came later... an insult I took as a badge of pride." Solas took a cautious step closer, smiling a small, fond smile that broke Anders' heart with its familiarity. "The Dread Wolf inspired hope in my friends and fearr in my enemies... Not unlike 'Inquisitor', I suppose."
Anders took an abortive step towards the elf. Void take him, how could he do this, how could he have lied?
"And now you know. I didn't mean to hurt you, vhenan," he murmured, closing the rest of the distance between them.
"Why did you lie?" Anders staggered, dropping his head on the soft pelt across Solas's shoulder. "You could have told me, love... You didn't need to run..."
Hesitantly, Solas embraced him. "I did not lay with you under false pretenses-"
"But you lied. I loved you!" Anders whispered harshly. "Of all people, did you really think I wouldn't understand?"
Solas dropped his arms, pulling away and hanging his head. "Ir abelas, vhenan."
"Maker damn your sorry! If you ever cared for me, for Justice, tell us the truth!" Anders spun away, face in his hands.
"I sought to set my people free, from slavery to would-be gods. I broke the chains of all who wished to join me," Solas began, falling into the soothing cadence all his stories contained. "The false gods called me Fen'Harel, and when they finally went too far, I formed the Veil and banished them forever."
He led Anders to the edge of the cliff, a hand on his shoulder to steady him. "Thus I freed the elvhen people and, in so doing, destroyed their world forever."
Solas stared at Anders with the distant expression that meant he was looking for Justice. "Our world."
