It's a good thing I did not meet you when I was 16. We would not have been together. I was immature and self-centered. You probably were, too. I didn't know yet that you were what I need. I thought I had it all figured out, but I was actually nowhere near close. There was also someone else. So I wouldn't have seen you even if you came, because I had eyes only for the boy who I have mistaken as you.
And it's a good thing I did not meet you when I was 19. You probably wouldn't like me if you did. Hell, I didn't even like me that much back then. I was fucked up. I had a lot of worries that turned into disappointments. I sulked a lot. I was caught up with my own emotions that loving me was synonymous to saving me. And yet I didn't want to be saved. I might have recognized you and I probably would have let you go, because I was already madly in love with the man who I have chosen to be you.
And it's a good thing I did not meet you today. Finding you is not my priority yet. You would have been just in the middle of my list when you could have been on top, and that would have been unfair for you as I know I am capable of becoming someone who will give you my all. I might not be in love with that guy anymore, but I have been so drained that I need to fill myself up first. I'm afraid I do not have any love to give to anybody else. So I probably would find some lame excuse to leave you, and it will hurt you a damn lot. It hurts to imagine me hurting you.
So it's a good thing I did not meet you yet, love. But it's exciting to know that I'm going to, someday.
— and by then, I will be ready for you // w.g. (written year 2016)