Iâm growing older (and hopefully, wiser) again today, and I have this strong desire to at least share a little wisdom that Iâve already picked up along the way! I hope you guys find this post useful :-)
22 THINGS I LEARNED BY 22
1. Not every one you meet (and love) will have the same heart as yours. It sucks, but itâs the truth.
Youâre going to give a lot of love for people who wonât give them back to you. Youâre going to pour your heart and soul into relationships that, turns out, will have expiration dates. Youâre going to do a lot of things without getting anything in return. Because not everyone will think the way you think, and not everyone will love you the way you will love them. So you canât expect people to do things for you just because youâre willing to do the same for them. You canât expect people to stay in your life just because you stayed in theirs. But not getting the same love that you have given never means that it is already a love wasted. Maybe â and I said âmaybeâ because Iâm still trying to figure it out â just maybe, that was their limit. Maybe itâs what theyâre only capable of giving at the time. After all, in love, it never really is going to be a 50-50 from each side, but rather a constant effort of 60-40 or 70-30 or 80-20 with the person who gives more changing depending on the day. Still, itâs never supposed to be 100 and 0, with you giving the 100% all the time. But sometimes it happens. Sometimes youâre willing to move mountains for people who will never do the same for you. And I hope you know that when that happens, when you no longer get anything out of the everything that you have given, I hope you realize itâs time to walk away. It will never mean that you were wrong to love them with the intention of giving your all. Maybe, it was just a love that was not meant to be.
2. You will attract the same person as you, so always be a good person.
If in magnets the opposite poles attract, in life (basing from my personal experiences) they rarely do. Because you will build relationships out of attraction â of hobbies, wants and interests, and you will captivate and keep these relationships based on your level of similarity with them. You will build your own environment with your principles, which is why you have to make sure you stick to the good ones. You have to always choose to be a good person, so you can attract people who have the same energy flow as you, and you could create a happier and kinder territory for you and your tribe.
3. Itâs true that youâd have to fight life yourself, but itâs always better to know you have someone around.
Youâre going to rely on yourself for a large amount of your life, and youâre going to be there for yourself when no one else will. That is true. But ultimately, youâre going to need other people to get through the tough times, so I hope you have someone you can lean on when you start having trouble counting on yourself.
4. And even though youâre going to need other people, as you grow up you will realize that you donât need a lot of them around.
Sometimes, you only need one.
5. Get rid of toxic people. Even if you love them.
Even if you feel like you canât live without them. If they start becoming torture rather than aid, leave. If they start hurting you far more times than making you feel happy, walk away. Love and friendship will never be an excuse for someone to treat you wrongly. So if someone doesnât give meaning to your life anymore, give them up. No matter how painful it might be, accept that they no longer serve you a purpose, and that it is time to part ways.
6. âBusyâ is only a concept, and so is âIâm not ready.â
It is only an abstract idea, a general notion â a reason or excuse (up to you to decide which) that puts a subjective conception in our heads. In fact, there are still a bunch of concepts that I may not be able to elaborate about, but those two are the ones at the top of mind. I donât think I could ever put into words what I feel about it, and I donât think we could ever get rid of these concepts entirely. I only hope we try our best not to use them always.
7. Timing is never going to be right unless you make it right.
The life we have now is full of choices. We always decide whether today is the right time to love, and/or the right time to be the right person for someone else. But for things to really work out (especially in love), the other party must also decide to choose us. He (or she) must also choose to be ârightâ for us. And if they donât, then thatâs when things donât work out for you. This is why ultimately, even if we could choose which time will be the right time for us, there will always be the perfect timing for everything.
8. You need to move at least five times in your life.
I think Iâve read this bit somewhere before, and it stuck to me ever since. Doing this allows us to create a bigger perspective, to associate ourselves with new people, and to step out of our comfort zones as it gives us a chance to open new and unfamiliar doors. It will also permit you a start over, especially at a time when you badly need so. Maybe moving is a form of escape for others but for me it is only providing yourself the opportunity to roam around before you finally settle. When youâve finally seen more of the world and what it offers, thatâs when youâll know in what way will you want to say âIâm finally good here.â
9. Practice talking about your goals so passionately as if speaking intensely about it would bring life into your words.
I canât stress this enough. However absurd your objectives are in life, preach it. When someone asks you about it, talk to them with your voice high-pitched and your eyes sparkling at every word. Itâs not being ambitious, itâs being motivated. If you want something to happen, claim it.
10. Know yourself, and get a good grip of it.
This is essentially vital, especially in this world where everyone will try to tell you who you are. You must stand tall, take it all in, look them in the eye and then walk away. You do not need to explain to them that they are wrong; you do not have to say âno, this is who I am.â As long as you know who you are deep inside, their opinions of who you are will never get as far as from one ear to another.
And once you know yourself, please, please, please, get a good grip of it. Never stray away from your views, morals and principles in life. Because it is not only people that will try to change them, but also the experiences youâll get along the way. So get a good grip of who you are, so that you do not end up losing yourself in the middle of achieving your goals.
11. Always be kind to people, because you can be mean later on.
Some people donât have it as easy as you. And when you think youâre having it tough, some people have it even harder. So always be kind. No matter what they say, everyone is fighting their own battles in life. Offer your kindness to the world, especially at this time when it is really much needed.
Rather than saying âmoving onâ, I like the term âmoving forwardâ much better. I think itâs because when you move on from something, you just leave it behind you. And in my case, I prefer it if I take things with me as I go. Itâs not because I want to cling on to it, but because remembering the experiences youâve had allows you to constantly remember the lessons you got out of it as well. You do not revolve your life and your choices around it anymore, but you bring it with you (still) in every step you take. Besides, that is how youâll know it doesnât weigh that much already.
13. Admit it when youâre in the wrong.
There may be nothing as horrible as not accepting your mistakes when you do make them. So please donât be a stubborn brat and save yourself the trouble of being stuck with your own pride. Itâs okay to be wrong because youâre only human, anyway. So admit it when youâve done something wrong, and know when to apologize for it.
14. Always open your eyes to lifeâs signs from up above.
Iâm a firm believer that God sends us little signals every now and then. It may be in the form of a sudden rainfall, a cancelled meeting, or even as heartbreaking as a rejection. Sometimes, fate is in the works, and they canât help but give us short teasers every now and then. Look out for them.
15. Be proud of your friends.
Pull each other up instead of dragging them down. You can shine bright with your loved-ones shining up there with you anyway. So cheer for them when they need it, congratulate them when they succeed and smile for them when theyâre happy. Donât be jealous because your blessings will come at the time God designed it to come. While youâre waiting for it, clap for your friends when they get theirs before you got yours. Youâll be amazed at how fulfilling it would also make you feel.
16. Your family is everything. Take good care of them.
Always be grateful to the Lord for giving you your family. No matter what happens, they will be yours. They will be the one whoâs going to support you in every way. They will comfort you when you need it; heck, theyâd even cry for you when youâre trying your best not to. In this world where everythingâs changing, I could say that theyâre one of the few âconstantsâ you could have in this life time, so itâs important that you make them happy and proud. You owe them who you are right now, and theyâve tried their best to mold you into the greatest you could ever be. Thank them. Always thank them.
17. There is no such thing as âtoo longâ when it comes to getting over a heartbreak.
Do not let others dictate you how short you should weep over a failed love. Itâs not their heart break, itâs yours. If you feel like youâre not over it, then youâre not. Donât be in a hurry so you could show them youâre okay. You can be okay and still feel the pain, anyway. So donât listen to what other people say. Screw them, take your own damn time.
18. Experience outwins everything.
Always remember this: we get to live only one life. And no matter how long the hours feel like, this life is surprisingly a short one. So stop being scared to try new things or being lazy to create new memories. We may have all the time in the world to have these experiences, I know, but if you do get a chance to choose between sleeping in or a long drive to the nearest beach, I hope you get out of bed as fast as you can.
19. You wont get the life you planned out for yourself, so itâs vital to make the most out of what you get.
When you were 7, you wanted to become an actress. When you were 10, you wanted to become a doctor. When you were 15, all you wanted was that boy to be the âoneâ, then when you were 20 you realize that itâs too early to spend forever with anyone. Right now youâre probably studying a degree that was never part of your dreams when you were 9 years old, or maybe you finally got the job you wanted, but it took you just yesterday to realize it. This life that we have keeps on unfolding right before our very eyes, and it takes us to different places that we never have the intention of visiting at all. Still, make the most out of it, because this is the life that God has willed for you. It may be the life you wanted or it may not, but one thingâs for sure: itâs yours. So despite all the detours that God engineered, I hope you still do your best to craft it and make it the life you envision it to be.
20. Always give your best, even if no one applauds for you.
Not every moment, people will see the good things you do. Still, do it anyway. Offer food to the needy even when youâre walking the streets alone. Pat yourself on the back after getting a high grade, even when your professor didnât know you stayed up until 6am studying for that test. Always work hard even if people do not notice it. As long as you give yourself credit for doing a job well done, youâre not going to need other peopleâs compliments to make you feel good about yourself.
21. Everyday, I hope you choose to inspire people.
This may be the most important out of all the lessons Iâve learned in life. There is no greater fulfillment than knowing youâre changing another personâs lives. Even just through imparting emotions and words like sharing a meaningful article on Facebook, or writing a piece of literature just to make someone feel theyâre not alone in whatever they are going through. Or just through the small actions like smiling at a stranger thatâs late for work, or offering your seat to an old person who might have his (or her) back hurting, or even giving extra love to a friend because who knows? They might not know they actually need it  that day. No matter how small of a gesture it is, do it. Do it with the hopes that you make someoneâs day a little brighter, lighter and easier. Do it, because youâll never know how big of a help youâre giving to another. Youâll never know how badly theyâve needed it.
I hope that throughout your life, you will always choose to keep on helping people, because this will inspire them to become better people as well. And ultimately, this will inspire them to become an inspiration to others as well.
22. Whatever youâre going through, learn from it.
Never stop learning from your experiences, from the people around you â from everything. I know I prepared twenty-two lessons that Iâve picked up during my twenty-two years here in this world, but honestly I feel like Iâve learned a far greater number than that. I also know I still have a lot of wisdom to take in as I continue this journey, too. So let us never get tired of learning from whatever life will throw at us, because that is how we evolve and become greater and more capable individuals. That is how we grow up.
