Angel Above Us || undefeated-torres
Time Lapse To: 8 weeks pregnant
Trigger Warning: Miscarriage
Drew had gone back to the office, to get a few more things, he knew Bianca hadn't been feeling that good so he had sent her home to rest, he worried relentlessly even if the doctors said everything was fine, that their baby was fine and she was doing okay. But Drew wouldn't relax until their baby was in their arms and he knew no harm would come to his family, walking through the door, that sense of dread he held filled his frame as he just dropped his jacket, hearing the sound of Bianca before he rushed into the back room, and then saw their dog cowering by the door at Bianca's cries. "Bianca?" Drew questioned softly as he opened the door. He bit his lip, but the color drained from his face when he saw all the blood. His eyes moved to what was in her hands and he shook his head, this wasn't happening, she wasn't holding what was supposed to become their child. Drew moved into the room and gathered her head and body into his arms. He didn't care if his white shirt was slowly becoming a different shade of red, he just held Bianca close rocking her. "Bee... we need to get you to the hospital..." He knew it was all over though, they weren't having a family but her bleeding was worrying him he couldn't lose his wife too not today.
Bianca looked at her hands through blurry eyes, the toilet paper soaking with blood now and staining her hands. She couldn't hear anything over her own screaming and sobs, she just couldn't stop. She had no idea how to deal with this loss, it was the most pain she'd ever felt. In the corner of her eye, she saw the door open and then Drew's shoes come into view. Her body pulled away when he moved his arms around her, but he was strong and held her to him, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." She sobbed to her husband, but somehow she felt her screams lessen as he rocked her, "I don't know how, I don't know..." She cried in response to him. The brunette wasn't sure she could get herself up or dressed, or anything at all. She couldn't even move, "I loved our baby." She whimpered softly, her head leaning against him now.
Drew couldn’t even bare to look at what was in her hands, if it had any sort of resemblance of a child, he’d be scared for life. Something that his mind wouldn’t ever let him let go of. Drew just held Bianca like she was an anchor that he couldn’t just let sink to the bottom of the sea. “It’s okay, please baby don’t blame yourself its not your fault.” He told her truthfully, even though he was shattered it just wasn’t their time to have a baby, or maybe the problem was with him, that he screwed up his sperm was the wrong part of this question. His eyes shut tight at her cries, he hated her crying now even more so the sound was painful. Hearing her his eyes filled with tears as his face crumpled and he buried it against the top of her head he took in shaky breaths as he tried so hard not to cry. “I know I did too.” Drew managed to get out shakily as he sat up trying to be strong. “Bianca.. I need to get you to the hospital you’re still bleeding.” Drew reached up with blood stained hands and grabbed a rag, he soaked it a bit and then handed it to her. “Can I have the baby please?” Drew gently took what had formed into his hands as he handed her the cloth. “I’m going to go get you some clothes okay? Can you try to wipe yourself up?” Drew asked her and then he moved out of the bathroom not sure what he was supposed to do with what was in his hands. Instead he found a little wooden box and laid the bloodied mess of embryo and child into the box. He had just heard its heartbeat... now it was never going to beat again. Drew moved to the dresser pulling out a new pair of underwear and a long shirt of his that he could get onto her easily as he made his way back to the bathroom he cradled his wife in his arms again.
Bianca was shaking and nearly convulsing in his arms, finding it hard to breathe, "I did this. I did it." She whimpered to him. She just sat there with him and cried until he somehow started to pull himself together. The girl knew she needed to be strong, but she couldn't right then, it hurt so badly. Her head lifted and she looked at him with unfocused eyes, a lost expression on her face. It was as if she couldn't even figure out where she was or what was going on anymore. She looked to the rag he was holding out for her and stared at it, though she did hear his words, "W-We n-need to b-bring it to the h-hospital." She gasped out in response, shakily, but with all the love and care in the world, handing the toilet paper that was bloody to him. The brunette took the cloth and nodded her head to his words, her sobs still coming as if she couldn't control it. When he walked out, she looked at the blood that had come from her and her bottom lip quivered. She gripped the rag, curling up and sobbing more, unable to do much of anything. Keeping her eyes closed, she scrubbed the rag along her inner thighs and over her hands, opening her eyes slightly to see if she was doing okay. When he joined her once more, Bianca's unfocused eyes moved to look at him, "I g-got all the blood I could." She told him quietly, still scrubbing at her hands furiously with the rag, wanting all the blood to disappear, "I'm sorry, Drew." She whispered even more quietly.
Drew wanted to take all of Bianca's pain away, help her not feel so hurt and he shook his head. "No, no you didn't." He whispered fiercely to his wife as he held her close, she could be weak he was strong enough for the both of them, he hoped. "Okay we can bring it." He told her as he watched her it was breaking his heart seeing her so lost and broken, as he nodded. He took the rag from her and then looked into cabinet pulling out a pad and then cleaning out the cloth he cleaned her up a bit more and then helped her get the clothes he brought her on. "Just relax its all going to be okay." Drew said but he knew it wasn't they weren't getting the family he had been so excited about on their wedding day. Drew just got Bianca up in his arms not even caring about the blood on him he carried her out to the car and then just grabbed the box. He stopped for a moment while he was alone as the sob left his frame and he crumpled to the ground losing it for a few minutes as he clutched he box to him as if holding it close would bring their son or daughter back. Drew straightened himself out as he wiped his eyes with his sleeve and gently gave Bianca the box before getting into the drivers seat and then driving them to the hospital the only sounds filling his ears were the horns of other engines as they finally got to the hospital, he just gently carried Bianca inside. "We need to see a doctor now." Seeing Drew covered in all the blood she led them into the back as he just sat in a chair refusing to leave his wife as he snapped at any nurse that tried to pull him away. "It's going to be okay." He repeated just so he wouldn't lose it again.
Bianca didn't believe him, she felt like this was all her fault. She had been doing too much, she'd been too stressed, it was all her fault and now her baby was dead. She gripped the rag for a moment, but then she let him take it, curling herself up again and closing her eyes as she cried more. There was no way her body could deal with this, she didn't think she could get through this. As he leaned down to her again, she unclenched her body and let him clean her a bit more before he dressed her. She knew she could never do this without him, she couldn't even move her body. Hearing him, the brunette knew that was a lie, nothing was okay. Her body squirmed as he picked her up, crying out again as she buried her face in his neck. When he got her to the car, she gently settled herself into the passenger seat, staring at the floor as he left to get whatever they needed. It felt like an eternity before Drew came back and handed her the box. She stared down on it, her fingertips running along in lovingly as her tears hit the lid heavily. The two drove in silence, her sobs having turned quiet as she grew completely exhausted. Once they arrived, Bianca looked at him lethargically, letting him pick her up once more and carry her inside. She clutched the box as he spoke to the front desk, resting her head on him as he carried her to the room the nurse led them to. She was laid down on a hospital bed and she curled up, staring at her husband sitting in the chair beside her. Her head nodded, but she knew he was lying. When a doctor came in, she looked at him and just held the box out, unable to speak. He seemed confused, but Bianca couldn't speak at all. She forced out, "My baby." And the doctor seemed to understand, handing the box to the nurse and telling her that if she wanted it back to bury, then he could arrange that. He told her to lay on her back and that he'd do an ultrasound to see what was going on inside her.
Drew watched his wife trying anything or everything just to be there but his body was reacting his mind was just down, haywire with thoughts as to why. He just held her close when she cried out to him, hating that he put her in pain. Drew glanced over at her as he laid her onto the bed, and he took her hand holding onto it for dear life, as he heard the doctor. Shaking his head at the words bury, he shouldn't of had to bury his child now. Not before he even got to meet him or her. Drew looked at the screen, there was nothing left nothing there. No heart beat. Tears fell down his eyes as he shook his head his face completely crestfallen as he looked at the screen. "I'm sorry, but the pregnancy has ended...there's no longer a child." A doctor spoke with the nurse and Drew just closed his eyes as he rested his head on the bed, he wanted the floor to swallow him up and send him to hell already because to him in that moment hell was on earth, good people did bad things, they were good people why did the wicked not have to deal with this. Drew let the tears fall as silent sobs racked his body and he knew it was over, he wasn't going to be a father. He didn't ever know if he would want to be one or even try to be one again. The doctor placed what should of been a comforting hand on his shoulder. "There are counselors here if either of you need to speak with one." The man said but Drew just lifted his tear stained blood shot eyes. "Can we just please be left alone?" Drew questioned with a broken hoarse voice as the doctor left the room. Drew sat back and shook his head.
Bianca stared at the ceiling, her eyes becoming dull as the doctor did an ultrasound. He moved the device around her stomach and confirmed what she already knew, telling her that all the tissue was out as well, so that's why there had been so much blood before, but nothing else needed to pass and the miscarriage was complete. Her head nodded, it just nodded. She did nothing else. As Drew rested his head on the bed, Bianca found the strength to lift her hand and place it on his head, knowing how much he loved when she played with his hair. Her eyes closed as she felt his body shaking, feeling as if she had died along with their child, or whatever it had been when it died. The girl's head shook at the doctors words, but her eyes popped open when Drew asked him to leave, "Wait." Her voice finally came through, looking at the doctor as he turned towards her, "Will I ever be able to have a baby?" She wondered and the doctor took in a breath before answering, "From what I saw in the ultrasound, there's nothing physically wrong with you that would cause a miscarriage. Many woman lose their first child as you did. I'd suggest going to your doctor to hopefully pinpoint what was the cause, but I do believe you'll be able to have children." The brunette sighed in relief, relaxing back as the doctor left them. Her broken eyes looked to Drew as he sat back, "I'm sorry, Drew. I promise one day I'll give you a child." She whispered, her eyes burning with new tears.
Drew felt her hand in his hair and he just succumbed to the fact that he had lost his child with her. Drew looked at Bianca confused before her words hit him like a ton of bricks. At the moment he didn't ever think he'd want to become a father anymore. Drew listened to the fact that she was okay. Drew shook his head. "Were not trying again....I don't want any children." His face crumpled as he got up and he turned away from her. "I have to go wash this blood off of my hands." Drew told her as he slipped out of the room, he slid down the wall in the hall way and just burst into sobs that he didn't want her to hear as he cried until his heart ached and his lungs burned for air that he refused to breathe. A nurse came over to him concerned and bent down he shook her off. "leave me alone." Drew growled bitter not angry at the woman just hating the world in that moment. She helped him up though and led him to a spot where he could get cleaned up as she brought him a stack of paper towels. "Thank you." he managed weakly, as he washed the blood of his wife and child off of his hands and arms. Drew dried his arms off and looked down at his shirt. He looked up at the kind nurse. "Do you guys have any spare scrubs I could wear?" He asked the woman brought him back a blue shirt and he stripped out of his bloodied white one tossing it into the trash and slid the shirt onto him. He walked back to the room Bianca was in and opened the door. "I mugged a doctor for his clothes, figured I could play operation." He said trying to joke even though he fell flat.
Bianca looked at him with surprise, feeling her heart break over the fact that he didn't want children with her. No matter how much this hurt or how traumatizing it was losing her first baby, she wanted a family and she deserved that much. When he got up, her face broke completely, "But I-" He cut her off when he said he needed to clean up, whispering after him, "But Drew... Stay..." But he was already gone. She didn't know what to do, she just wanted to leave this place and go home. Bury her baby and lay this tragedy to rest. It hurt, it hurt so badly she wanted to rip her heart out so the pain would end. Her body curled into a ball and she started to sob once more. The girl's face was raw and red, her eyes were bloodshot, and her body was weak. She was a wreck and all alone. When Drew finally returned, she looked at him and yelled out, "Never leave me again." She wasn't angry, just desperate for something she couldn't exactly pinpoint. Her body curled up as much as it could and she buried her face against her knees, "I wanna go home, Drew. I wanna go home." She begged him.
Drew shook his head, he didn't even want to think of having children ever again. Part of him was blaming himself, he knew that it was chromosomes that made them lose their child, that either way they wouldn't of not had a defected baby. Drew just knew there was something wrong with him. Otherwise he didn't know why he'd loose his brother and a child within the same year it just didn't seem fair. Walking back in he jumped at her yelling at him, he just looked down. "Then we can go home." Drew told her and he just looked like she had kicked him, he bit his lip and then spoke with the nurse wanting the box back. Drew looked at Bianca. "There's an cemetery we can bring them too." Drew replied softly as he stroked her hair back. "Come on lets get going." Drew told her softly.
Bianca just stayed curled up and cried all she could, wanting to scream again as she realized that she was no longer pregnant. She no longer had a child growing inside of her. She wasn't going to be a mother in 7 months. All of that was lost and gone. Unlike him, she wanted a second chance, another try at it. She knew the child they lost would want them to keep going and that their baby was their angel now, watching over them. When she felt Drew stroking her hair, she pulled out of her fetal position and looked up at him, "Okay." Her head nodded, slowly and painfully pushing herself up and shakily setting her feet on to the floor. The girl hiccuped and gasped for air as she slowed her crying down and tried to gain the ability to breathe normally once more. She moved over to him and put an arm around him, resting against his side, "I didn't mean to yell. I just think we need each other right now." She had to whisper in order to speak without stuttering, "If you are ready, we can.. bury the box. If not, we can wait." She told him, wanting him to be ready to start healing as she was. Bianca couldn't keep looking at the box, thinking about it, reliving it all. She needed to force herself to be strong.
Drew just wasn't wrapping his head around the situation yet. Watching Bianca come over to him he wrapped his arm around her as he nodded. "I know we need each other... I'm sorry I walked away.. I just can't do this.. I bury my child and my brother within the same year." Drew whispered softly. Shaking his head. "No lets get rid of the reminder... lets go bury our baby." Drew knew he'd have to call his mom break the news to her, that could save for another day though. Taking the box he looked at Bianca and led her from the hospital, and to the car again as he set their child in the back seat and sighed, he'd never get to meet them, take them to the park to play. Drew climbed in and gripped the steering wheel. Drew drove down to the cemetery, and spoke to grounds keeper about open plots, as he paid and then the man said the plot would be prepared soon since it wouldn't take them long for the small box in Drew's hands. Drew walked with Bianca among the dead and watched as the ground was being dug away, deeper and deeper the hole grew. Drew handed the box to Bianca. "Go put it in." He whispered to her wanting her to be the one that has closure over it all.
Bianca looked at him, but she just couldn't smile for him, "It's okay. If you need time alone, I understand. Just know I need you. I-I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry." She whispered to him fiercely, needing forgiveness from him and from the world, since she felt as if she were being punished for something. Her head nodded, getting choked up once more, so she just followed him out to the car. She got into the passenger seat and curled herself up again, feeling safe in this position. The brunette couldn't speak again, she knew if she did, her sobs would begin once more. Because of this, she let Drew get the plot for their unborn baby once they were at the cemetery. This wasn't right, she shouldn't be here with a box of something that didn't have a chance to live. She stayed close by Drew's side and took the box from him. Looking up at him, she fell against his chest and began sobbing again, "Come with me please." She begged, unable to do it herself. After a moment of sobs, she pulled away, still gasping for air, and took his hand in her own. Bianca pulled him towards the hole, leaning down and carefully placing the small box in. She ran her fingers over the top of the box, "I love you very much, no matter how small you are. I'm sorry you didn't get the chance to grow and join us as our son or daughter, but no matter what, we're your mom and dad and we will always love you. Just watch over us, okay? We're going to need you." Standing up once more, her knees nearly gave out as she fell against Drew's chest again and began sobbing loudly, gripping his shirt with all her strength, "I'm sorry." She whimpered.
Drew looked at Bianca and he shook his head gently. "Its fine Bianca." Drew told her there was no going back. The damage was done, there was no family for them, they wouldn't have to look for a house. He looked down at his wife as she sobbed against his chest. "Of course babe." Drew told her gently moving with her he watched her place the box into the ground and tears welled up in his eyes at her words he was too choked up to say anything, as the man went to bury his child he shook his head. "Let me do it." It was his child he was going to bury the poor baby. Drew took the shovel and covered their child in the ground. Drew looked down at Bianca against him and he shook his head. "I forgive you... lets just go home please." Drew told her as he finished covering the small grave and then he led Bianca to the car, he just wanted to go crawl into bed fall asleep and never wake up, he didn't know how she had any hope for the future or for them as a family. Drew parked outside of their apartment and just walked inside as he pet their puppy dog he felt exhausted and drained.
Bianca didn't believe him, she felt like she was being blamed for this. He didn't forgive her, she'd never be forgiven for this. When Drew said he wanted to bury their baby, she pulled away from him, holding herself up as best she could as he shoveled the dirt over the box. She could've fallen to her knees she felt so weak and helpless, but she needed to be strong, not only for herself, but for Drew. As he was finishing up, she could no longer keep herself up and fell against him, still not believing that he forgave her, "Okay. Home." She whispered, walking with him as the two made their way back to the car. Nothing felt real, it was all a dream to her as he drove them home. Her hand was resting on her stomach, but she knew there was nothing beneath it. The brunette followed him inside once they got home, picking up their kitten and carrying her into their room. She placed the fur ball on the bed and gestured toward it, "Get in bed, babe. I'll be there soon." She told him before she went to the bathroom. Bianca tried to remove herself from the situation and started to clean up. She threw the clothes she'd been wearing away and grabbed something to wash the floor with. Spraying it over the stained blood, she began to scrub with a brush, watching as the evidence began to disappear. She needed it gone, she needed it to never have happened. It didn't take long, soon the floor was spotless once more and it was as if nothing had happened. Her weak body stood and shuffled from the bathroom to their bedroom, looking at Drew, "Tea? Or hot coco? It might be nice." She whispered to him, wanting to somehow make this better, even though nothing but time ever would.
Drew knew they were both broken, he didn't blame her though, he blamed himself. Drew just wanted to hold his wife but he moved with her, and then he sighed, throwing out the rest of his suit. He threw on a t-shirt and some boxers not wanting to not be covered up. drew knew what she was doing but he left her too it just got under the covers. "Tea please." Drew told her as he then let her leave. Listening to the clinking of cups as the kitten purred next to him, he shook his head and got up moving out into the kitchen, he just moved up behind her and silently wrapped his arms around his wife he had been so excited to do this when she started to show that it almost hurt now just holding her because he pictured their life and he had let himself dream stupidly for a moment. Burying his face in the crook of her neck he just held her close and hummed a song any sort of song that came to his mind. "I love you... and I need you Bianca... I don't blame you... I just want us to get better." Drew whispered out placing a soft kiss on her skin he lifted his head and looked into her broken eyes. "You will always be loved."
Bianca nodded her head once when he asked for tea, feeling glad to have something to do for him. She left the room and went into their small kitchen, grabbing two mugs before she found the tea bags. She looked through the different flavors they had, chewing her bottom lip as she tried to decide which flavor would be the most calming and soothing. As she finally decided, she felt him coming up behind her before his arms wrapped around her waist. The girl closed her eyes, trying to breathe evenly as he buried his head in her neck and began to hum. The vibrations from his humming were soothing and she gently swayed her body, sighing over his words, "I love you, too. No matter what. Forever and ever. I promise we will get better." As he kissed her skin, her eyes opened and she turned her head to look at him, "I know." She whispered, pecking his lips with a kiss before she spoke again, "I know this doesn't make sense and it's more painful than anything on this earth, but these things happen. It's nothing either of us did. And you know what I believe? Our little baby would want us to be happy, because he or she loves us as much as we love them. That baby we never got to have is our angel now, they'll watch over us. Make sure our next pregnancy, if that ever happens, goes smoothly. I truly believe that, Drew." She told him through blurry eyes, turning her head and looking to the tea bags again. Needing a distraction, she took the mugs and placed a bag in each.
Drew just wanted to be strong for the both of them. "Forever and ever. I know we will just right now...I'm hurting.. I lost my brother...now our baby..." Drew tightened his grip on her slightly. Kissing her back softly. "I'm trying to be happy... I just need time Bianca.." Drew looked down at her and then he kissed the top of her head. "Were going to try again... for a family.. when we are ready." Drew told her and looked into her blurry eyes. He gently tilted her chin up and leaned down pressing his lips to hers softly, and lovingly. "Were going to have a family some day. I promise." She had such hope and strength even in her pain that he had to give himself hope that maybe the next time they were having a baby their child would watch over them and let their parents have a child to love finally, because they both had so much love in their hearts for children.
Bianca felt his arms tighten around her and frowned, "I know, I'm not telling you not to be hurting. We just have to get through this together. Adam is with our baby now, he'll take care of the little one." She choked up over her last words, liking the sound of them, but it still hurt her heart. Her eyes closed and she shook her head, "I'm not expecting you to be happy. There's no happiness right now. I need time, too, Drew. I had a baby growing inside me this morning and now I don't. I'm fucking angry and I want to destroy things and scream and... but that won't fix anything." Her voice had started to get louder, but she managed to calm it down to a whisper once more. Hearing him, she felt complete relief rush through her, "Good. We deserve a family." She spoke with complete belief in her words. The brunette didn't want to look at him, but he took her chin and she had to look at him. Her body melted as he kissed her, sighing when he pulled back, "I know. I have no doubt in this world that we'll have little Torres kids running around one day soon." She pecked his lips once more, "Now how about I make us this tea and we'll go sit in bed and talk. Or cry. Whatever you need." Bianca was going to get through this with her husband, no matter how many break downs she had along the way.
Drew listened to her words and smiled softly. "Adam has a family." Drew kinda felt comforted by the fact their child would be taken care of by his brother... Drew wondered what Adam looked like now, as a man what he was meant to be. Or what their child would of looked like. Would he or she had his eyes? Or been blessed with her mothers? Curly locks or straight, the questions wouldn't stop any time soon. "That's what the work out room is for, there's a punching bag if you ever want to get out the anger." drew didn't care if she went and lost it against the punching bag he knew that'd be what he was doing as soon as he got her asleep. "Yeah we do." Drew replied and he just kissed her feeling her melt against him. "Soon? How about in a long while?" Drew told her and then he nodded. Drew was exhausted but he didn't want to sleep, he wanted to punish himself he knew Bianca would kill him if she knew of his thoughts, he just didn't know what he did wrong. "Yeah that sounds good." Drew took his cup when she handed it too him and he shuffled back to their room, as he crawled into bed it all didn't feel right he figured it wouldn't feel right for a while.
Bianca nodded her head, her chin quivering uncontrollably, "That's right." She told him, moving a bit so she could pour hot water into one of the mugs, needing that distraction so she didn't keep thinking. Her head shook at his suggesting, "No. I don't like that. I won't get my anger out that way, its' not for me." She hated violence, even if it was just punching a punching bag, she could never do it. Hearing that he didn't want to try soon, not even in the next year probably, she looked away from him and fidgeted, "Whatever you want." The girl replied dully. She finished making the cups of tea and handed him his before she followed him to their room. Carefully, she got into bed and under the covers, holding the mug to her chin. She sipped the hot liquid, staring down into the mug, "Things will get better. I promise." She reassured him, sipping the tea once more. She believed it, because everything had to get better, "All that matters now is that I love you."
Drew nodded at his wife. "Okay baby." He gently rubbed her sides he wasn't going to push anything right now. Hearing her dull response he sighed. "Bianca. I just want us to take the time we need to make sure were okay. If that's before the year is up then we can try again, if it's in a couple of months then lets do it. A long while to me is however long we need to not be broken and in pain about having a baby." Drew told her and then he looked at her he just sighed sitting his cup down he curled up to her and laid his head in her lap. "How much do you love me?" Drew asked wanting to distract her thoughts onto something that always seemed to make her smile.
Bianca nodded her head, not wanting to talk about it anymore. She wanted that family, she craved a child and she hated that her child had been taken from her, she wanted a second chance, "Okay, I get it. We need time. I just want the possibility to be open, that's all." She shrugged, keeping it at that. The girl just sipped her tea, a bit surprised when Drew's head came to rest in her lap. She brought one hand down to stroke his hair, looking at him as she lazily sipped her tea. Taking in a deep breath, she thought for a moment before speaking, "That's an impossible question. You know there's no words to describe how much I love you. I would go through hell and back for you." She told him, her fingers sweetly playing in his hair, "I love you more than I can handle sometimes. It's overwhelming. But... nothing is better than loving you." Somehow she was calming down and her body felt warm again.
Drew looked at Bianca and nodded. "Yeah we can keep it open." He replied to her, and shook his head he just wanted to feel his wife close to him. Drew laughed softly. "I know it is but just answer." Drew told her and then he looked up at her and smiled softly. "Oh yeah? I like that you love me so much... I know I'm safe with you." Drew told her and sighed he was growing tired against her as if the days events were catching up. Eventually he sat back up and sipped his tea gently pulling Bianca to lay in his arms as they cuddled. "We still have each other... you know that." Drew replied softly. "We will always have the other." Drew kissed the top of his wives head.
Bianca smiled just barely. All she wanted was to know the option was there, even though she wasn't ready and he wasn't either. She looked down at him and their eyes met, noticing a smile on his lips and feeling good that she could put it there, "Yeah. I'll always keep you safe." She assured him, pulling her hand away as he sat up. There was still a bit of tea left in her mug, but she placed it on the nightstand, opting to be pulled into Drew's arms. Her head nodded, "Of course I know that. I was scared this would rip us apart, but.. that'll never happen." She whispered, her eyes beginning to grow tired, "Exactly. I'll never let you go." Her eyes closed when he kissed her head, "I just want to go to bed right now." Forcing her eyes open, she leaned up and kissed his cheek, "Finish your tea and then turn off the lights cuddle me?" She requested from him before kissing his cheek again. Bianca rolled over on to her side with her back to Drew, getting her head comfortable on the pillow before pulling the covers over her. Tears were gently falling from her eyes again, but she just needed Drew's arms around her to get her to fall asleep despite the pain she still felt.
Drew nodded knowing that she would. "I'm always here Bianca." Drew told her instead as she kissed his cheek he felt like joining her as he nodded. "Just give a moment." Drew told her taking a few more sips before he turned off the light, he bit his lip as he slid his shirt off. Drew moved over to Bianca and pressed his chest into her back as he spooned up against his wife wrapping his arms around her, he gently took her hand in his own and laced their fingers together as he yawned. "Just get some sleep... you are in my arms." Drew told her resting his head next to hers trying to be as peaceful for his wife as he could be.
Bianca "I'm always here, too. Always." She reminded him before she got comfortable under the covers, though her tears still did come, as she had expected them to. She tried taking deep breaths as she laid there, but the tears were impossible to stop. Soon, the room was dark and Drew was gently pressing up against her back, a sort of comfort that she so desperately needed. His arms came around her and she let him take her hand and lace their fingers. Hearing him, she tried to breathe, but her breaths started to come in gasps and a wave of sadness hit her once more. Holding his hand tight, she brought it to her chest and clutched it there as she sobbed softly, unable to stop the onslaught of new tears. The sadness came and went with her and she couldn't do anything about it. Quickly, she turned in his arms and wrapped an arm around his waist, burying her face in his chest. The brunette took in a deep breath and his scent filled her senses. She started to slowly calm down, her eyes literally starting to burn she was so exhausted from crying. Her hand had been gripping his back, but she gently let go and softly rubbed his back instead. She continued to breathe him in as the sadness seemed to settle down inside her and exhaustion took over.
Drew felt his wife turn over and her weight toppling into his chest. He just held her tight and sighed his heart breaking as he slid his hand up her shirt and rubbed the bare skin of her back as he let her just get it out and cry against his chest. Drew reached over to his nightstand and the grabbed his cologne he sprayed a bit on her pillow. "Any time you roll over I am right there okay? Just breathe me in and relax." Drew told her wanting to find a way to relax her. He glanced down at her as he saw her asleep against his chest, his head was pounding feeling like a drum line was playing out a solo in it, as he closed his eyes and continued to trace three little words over her back. 'I love you' he continued to write until his hand stopped when he felt asleep.
Bianca relaxed against him as she fought to get her breath back to normal, opening her raw eyes and looking up at him. When he sprayed her pillow with his scent, she felt comforted in a way. Her eyes fluttered closed again and she breathed out, hiccuping before she relaxed against his chest. She managed to fall asleep almost instantly, but it wasn't easy to stay asleep. The girl would awake every so often, but after an hour of that, she was so exhausted that she basically passed out in bed and there was no waking her up then. For the first time in the past 24 hours, her body was relaxed and her mind was somehow at ease. She dreamt of them with their baby, but it was a happy dream and it brought peace to her. Adam was in the dream and everyone was smiling. Her and Drew had the most beautiful baby boy and there were no tears, no heartache, no pain. Everything was as it should be and Bianca wanted nothing more than to stay within the dream for as long as possible. She slept with the slightest of smiles on her lips, even.