Day 4: Dare
Patton is cleaning up the house, when Remus comes over to cause trouble and mess it up! But Remus quickly discovers that Patton is a force to be wreckened with, when given the chance. Thankfully, Remus knows exactly what to do!
Bringing back Sanders sides a small bit! I hope you all enjoy!
Patton was doing his usual weekend task of sweeping the kitchen floor. He had cute cat headphones on, and was dancing around the kitchen while picking up the dust with the broom.
🎶“Ooo-oo-ooa! Go totally crazyyy! Forgot I’m a ladyyy! Men’s shirts, short skirts, Whoo-oo-ooa! Really go wild, yeah, doooin’ iiit iiin style!”🎶
Patton switched to whistling as he kneeled down to pick up the dirt with the dustpan. With the dirt in the dustpan, Patton stood up and walked towards the garbage under the sink.
He opened up the door under the sink, and started to pull out the garbage…
Suddenly a flash of green filled his eyes! “PEEK-A-BOO!”
Patton screamed and dropped the dustpan, falling backwards onto his butt. “Owww…” Patton rubbed his back and glared at the garbage. “Remus!”
Remus was clapping his hands, just celebrating the reaction. He took some of the dust from the pan, and held his hand out flat. “Smokescreen!” He suddenly blew the dust into Patton’s face!
Patton screeched and started waving his hands everywhere. “HEY!” He spit and coughed as he tried to get the stupid dust away from him. “You’re disgusting!”
Remus giggled and leaned against the corner of the garbage bin. “Oh boo hoo…Poor Patty dropped the dust all over the floor! Whatever will he do?” Remus teased in a passive aggressive tone. He expected Patton to cry like a baby, or pout like a child. Or maybe even grumble like an angry puppy.
But a whack to the head with the dustpan?
That was so far down his list!
“OW!” Remus held his forehead, and stared at Patton with a deranged look of shock. “What the f***?!”
“Clean it up!” Patton shouted.
Remus’s shock slowly turned sly again. “Aaa ha ha…No.” He responded.
“Clean. It. Up.” Patton warned again.
Remus just laughed. “Or what? You’ll hit my poor little head again?” He taunted.
…A single swing of the dustpan touched down on his cheek, sounding more like a slap than a proper hit. And good lord…That one stung.
“Oooww…Who died and crowned you the royal bastard?” Remus grumbled.
“Your mom! Now CLEAN UP!” Patton shouted at him.
Remus stared at Patton for a few seconds…before slowly bursting out into laughter. He clutched his stomach, letting out the most genuine, yet deranged laughter he had hiding in his system. He was laughing so hard, in fact, that he accidentally flew back and knocked the garbage bin, and himself, onto the ground. “HOHOLY SHIT! And I thought it was never possible to get you mad!” Remus reacted.
“Ohoho, I’m not mad…” Patton let him know, lifting his chin as he adjusted his smirk.
Remus smiled innocently. “Oh great! Looks like I can keep pulling these-”
“I’m livid.” Patton interrupted.
Remus’s smile slowly dropped as his brain started registering his face. That wasn’t a calm smile…That was an evil, mischievous smile! “Well…Ain’t this something?” Remus said in a cowboy accent.
“Clean it up!” Patton ordered, pointing to the garbage can.
“No can do, sunshine.” Remus teased.
“CLEAN IT!” Patton shouted.
“No need to yell, I heard you the first time.” Remus reassured him rather casually.
“IT’S YOUR MESS!”
“.....And?” Remus laughed a bit. “Wha- You expect me…To clean up dirty things?” Remus giggled. “Patty please…” He pointed to his own clothes. “Do I look like a maid to you?” Remus teased.
“I don’t care! You made the mess, you clean it!” Patton ordered.
“Or what?” Remus stuck his tongue out.
“Or I’ll make you!” Patton ordered.
Remus laughed a little too hard at that. “Ohoho, you’ll make me?” He let out a giggly sigh. “I’d like to see you try.”
Patton widened his eyes. Oh…So he’s gonna be like that, huh? Alright, game on!
Without any warning, Patton sprinted at Remus. What was he intending to do? Remus had no clue! But regardless, Remus was too cunning and flexible to let Patton get what he wanted! If you’re gonna play rough with Remus, you have to earn your win.
And so, Remus slipped out of the way, leaving Patton struggling to stop himself. “Oopsie!” Remus teased.
“You little-” Patton turned to him. “GET OVER HERE!” Patton shouted.
“Oooh! A Mortal Combat reference? I’m impressed!” Remus teased.
“I told you…to clean the mess YOU MADE! And would you listen to me? NO!” Patton shouted.
“Well, yeah! I’m the stinky man!” Remus declared. Right as Patton sprinted up to him, Remus grabbed his arm and pulled him into his chest. “And I’m thinking Mr. Grumpy here…” Remus roughly threw him to the carpet. “-Needs some anger management therapy.”
Remus lifted up Patton’s shirt slightly to access his bare belly. The moment Patton felt it, he froze and squirmed. “Remus, NO!” Patton shouted. “Don’t touch me with your filthy hands!” He argued.
“Oh don’t you worry, sweetcheeks…I won’t touch you.” Remus reassured him.
“Then what are you doing right now?!” Patton signalled to his stomach, which was clearly being touched.
“Oh, that’s easy!” Remus’s fingers started skittering. “I’m tickling you!” He declared.
Patton did NOT anticipate the tickles at all! He immediately guffawed and covered his mouth. “NOHO! REMUS, DON’T YOU DARE-” Patton stern words immediately dissolved into high-pitched laughter the moment his belly button was gently clawed at.
“Don’t I dare, what? What is it I mustn’t dare do, Papa?” Remus asked.
“DOHOHON’T TIHIHICKLE MEHEHEHE!” Patton wiggled and squirmed as laughter kept endlessly spilling from his mouth.
“Ohohoho, but I DO dare! I dare to tickle you a million times over! Cause as Roman would say…” Remus smirked and scratched at Patton’s lower belly. “Laughter is the best medicine!”
Patton squealed and snorted, cackling between snorts. That was one of his worst spots! Patton tried his hardest to push Remus’s hands off him. But either this stinky man works out in his spare time, or Patton’s arms are getting weaker the older he gets!
Because Remus? He is STRONG! Like, uncharacteristically strong! I suppose stinky doesn’t mean lazy, but still! Where did all this strength come from?!
“Hmmm…The wheel seems to be turning, but…” Remus giggled and traced a finger close to Pat’s left side. “The hamster appears to be dead.” Remus playfully remarked.
REHEHEHEMUHUHUS! HAHAHAHA- PLEEEHEHEHEASE!” Patton begged.
“Oh wow! Is the therapy helping you?!” Remus asked excitedly.
“NOHOHOHO!” Patton shouted back with the best stern face he could muster.
“Welp-” Remus resumed tickling his entire belly with both his hands. “I guess I gotta keep going until it works!”
Patton threw his head back with a long, almost freeing fit of cackles. As much as Patton was angry before, now he couldn’t even be mad, even if he tried! And the longer Remus kept tickling him, the less angry he felt! And Patton couldn’t tell if that was a good thing, or a bad thing. On one hand, he never expected this from Remus, of all people. But on the other hand…He was a little bit impressed! Remus may be the stinky, dirty side, but…He knew how to deal with Patton in the right way.
“Is it helping yet?” Remus asked playfully.
“Hahahaha- Ahaha lihittle…” Patton muttered.
Remus gasped dramatically. “It’s working?!” Remus asked excitedly.
“Hehe- Hahahaha! Y-Yehehehess!” Patton responded.
“Well daaaamn! That was quicker than I thought!” Remus reacted, lessening the tickles. “I guess you really ARE the Dad of the group!” Remus teased.
Patton’s loud laughter lessened to giddy, high-pitched giggles. “Yohohohou ahare- Hehehe! Aha daharedevil!” Patton said through the giggles.
“Ooooh!” Remus stopped tickling him and leaned on both his hands. “Soooo…Are you saying my dare was a good thing now?”
Patton nodded his head and looked at him. Patton’s smile slowly softened as he recovered from the giggles. “Yeheah…I guess.”
“You guess?” Remus smirked and squeezed his sides a few times. “What do you mean ‘you guess’?” Remus asked.
“eeEEHEHEhehehee! Rehehemus stahap!” Patton told him, gently grabbing his wrists.
“Okay, fine.” Remus stopped and stared at him for a few minutes. “Feeling less murder-y?”
Patton sighed. “Would you be mad if I said ‘yes’?” He asked.
“Oh god no! That’s my job!” Remus helped Patton up onto his feet. “And since you impressed me with your stern parenting…” Remus reached down and picked up the broom. “I will clean up the garbage.” Remus told him.
Patton widened his eyes at him and adjusted his glasses. “You will?”
“Yeah! So long as you continue blasting Shania Twink.” Remus teased with a wink.
Patton raised an eyebrow and rolled his eyes. “Fine.” He opened his phone and opened up Spotify. “And it’s Shania Twain.” He turned on the song from before.
🎶Whoo-oo-ooa! I wanna be free, yeah, to feel the way I feeellll…🎶
🎶Man! I feel like a woman~🎶
