#angsptril 2024

[fanfictasia]

Angstpril Day 13

Learning The Truth

Spoiler: This is an excerpt from Children of the Desert

Anakin’s mind jumps back to the last of what he remembers on Geonosis. There were people there, and he couldn’t make sense of their presences. “Those soldiers,” he inquires, “Who were they?”

“They’re clones,” Obi-Wan explains, “Of the bounty hunter who attempted to assassinate the Senator. Allegedly, a Jedi commissioned the creation of a clone army ten years ago, though the Council confirmed that was untrue.”

“Ten years ago?” Anakin asks. “They didn’t look like they were ten?”

“The Kaminoans altered their genes to double their aging, evidently.”

That’s – that’s awful. Life is short enough already, and for that to be shortened even farther? “This sounds like a report I should read.”

“I agree,” Obi-Wan tells him dryly, sitting on the edge of the bed beside Anakin.

He skims the report, mostly, at least. Just the important details – there’s always many unnecessary details in reports.

The one, main thing that catches Anakin’s attention is the mentions of the clone’s presences. The idea intrigued him from the start, but – but he has many, many questions about it. There’s a lot of things he doesn’t understand still.

It takes a while and a Senate trip for Anakin to realize exactly who and more importantly, what the clones are.

The Senate purchased them from the Kaminoans. They weren’t recruited. They may have been raised to be soldiers, but that almost makes it worse. At least they don’t know any other life, so they can’t miss it, but at the end of the day, they’re – they’re slaves.

Just like Anakin once was.

The Republic was complicit in this. They agreed to do it, and for the first time in his life, Anakin finds himself doubting. Doubting everything.

He believes in the Republic, because he knows anything, no matter how broken it is, can be repaired. But that doesn’t change how they have a slave army now. And to fix this? That’s where he needs to start.

By freeing the clones, who deserve so much more than anyone will ever be willing or able to do for them.Maybe it’ll take years, but this is no different than the many slaves Anakin has tried to free over the years as his time as a Jedi. He’s not going to stop until it’s done.

[fanfictasia]

Angstpril Day 14

Surrender

Spoiler: This is an excerpt from Tethered to Life

Pushing himself upright, Anakin stumbles to the door.

Only for the door to snap open before he can make it out, to see Windu standing there.

He jerks a step back instinctively, gathering the Force to him to lash out. His heart is already in his throat, and he can’t – He can’t let himself die here all over again.

“I don’t think you’ll be going anywhere, Skywalker,” Windu says, eyes narrowed.

He tries not to show the fear smothering him, but it’s hard not too when he can’t even breathe. Both from that and the pain in his chest. Doesn’t want to know what it looks like with two stab wounds. “You can’t keep me here,” Anakin shoots back.

Sidious will come for him.

He doesn’t want to be anywhere near the Sith, not when he realizes who he truly is, when he’s now his master not his friend, but anything would beat being near Windu right now.

“I’ve read enough about these legends of Force beings in the time you’ve been out,” he retaliates, “You will stay in here until I tell you otherwise.”

The words vibrate through him, through something in his mind, and his body jerks to a stop almost of its own accord. It feels almost like a… mind trick??? Except not exactly. It’s more a – it’s not that he doesn’t want to do it, it just doesn’t feel like he physically can, and he feels himself slowly move back to the half-destroyed bunk, sinking onto it.

Windu seems satisfied as he turns to leave the room.

All Anakin can feel is a steadily building, overwhelming terror. What is he – what is he doing to him what just happened how did he even do that –

He doesn’t know what is, why it doesn’t feel like he can – can disobey it.

He’s always belonged to the Jedi, in some form or other, but never – never like this. He’s not – what.

He can’t outright disobey him. He just… can’t?

It’s not even a surrender, even if he’s half a mind to back down just from how scared he is. This is something he doesn’t have control over.

And it doesn’t make any sense. Doesn’t –

How is he going to get away from him if he – he can somehow borderline Force suggest him???

[fanfictasia]

Angstpril Day 12

A Little Too Late

Spoiler: This is an excerpt from Tethered to Life

Anakin moves forwards, letting the Force guide his moves as he attacks him. But Windu has always been good at fighting Dark Siders and Anakin never meant to give in like this, to the Dark Side even if he already committed Sidious because what else was he supposed to do? Still remembers what it felt like to be on his knees to a master again – not that he’s truly ever been anywhere else.

But any sense of calm evades him now. Can’t feel anything but the death and destruction and his steadily growing self-loathing and anger at the Jedi for things coming to this and for hurting his boys and –

Windu’s lightsaber swings up to clash against his. The duel is fast and furious. There’s other Jedi who come to join the fight and Anakin’s able to take a couple of them down until it’s only Windu again, but the Jedi Master is still holding his own.

Anakin doesn’t know when he moved wrong enough to leave an opening, but then Windu’s lunging forwards – irrespective of the fact that Anakin’s nearly about to take his head off – plunging his blade straight through Anakin’s lower chest.

He has no idea how far it went, but a strangled gasp escapes him and he hardly remembers falling, but he hits the floor at Windu’s feet a moment later. He just –

Still feels like a hole is steadily burning through him and the pain is only worse and worse by the moment – like his insides are on fire and it’s not stopping. He can’t breathe. Can’t – anything.

Blaster shots ring out in the background. It sounds far away but he can see the flashes so it must be somewhere close by, even if he can’t muster up enough energy to twist his enough to see what’s happening.

But he can hear the occasional cries of pain. It’s his boys and Windu is slaughtering all of them. This – this is why –

But there’s nothing he can do anymore. He failed. Failed. And he’s – he’s dying.

Can’t say he really… minds that. Not anymore. Not after everything. Means he’ll finally be free, but he doesn’t want to leave all his boys behind or Ahsoka or Padme and he’s never going to even get the chance to see his child –

Darkness slowly hazes over his vision, and he blacks out.

[fanfictasia]

Angstpril Day 11

No Way Out

Spoiler: This is an excerpt from Howl At The Moon

Anakin snarls, leaping at him. He dodges the Force wave that he knows is coming, sinking his teeth into the man’s leg. The Jedi master yelps, and the Knight yanks out his lightsaber, waving it Anakin’s general direction. The Jedi Master rips him off with the Force, shoving him back, wrapping the Force around him to pin him in place.

He thrashes against it, snarling at them. He could use the Force to break free but he doesn’t know if he’d be able to do it and get away, but then they would know he’s a Sith and that would be worse. Much worse. He can only imagine what would happen to him if they still managed to get him, and even if they didn’t and Sidious found out he exposed himself to them… He doesn’t want to think about what would happen. Doesn’t want to think about what his master would do at all, knowing that he’s out here when he’s not supposed to be, but the thought of facing down these Jedi is far less terrifying – which is saying something.

“Are you alright, Master Windu?” the Knight asks.

What a stupid question.

His leg is bleeding badly and Anakin can distinctly smell the blood from here. He can taste it in his mouth and as a wolf it doesn’t bother him but well –

He might feel a little bad about what he did if he wasn’t so scared. He was supposed to be free.  Not –

“Well enough,” Windu replies curtly. “We need to take it back to the Temple for further analysis.”

Analysis.

He’s not a thing!

Even if he has never known a time where he isn’t treated as one, maybe so much because of his animal half.

Anakin snarls at them again anyway, not that it’ll do any good. He has no way out.

[fanfictasia]

Angstpril Day 10

Phantom Pain

Spoiler: This is an excerpt from Tethered to Life

He looks up sharply, as Windu stalks towards him, leveling his lightsaber at his throat before Anakin can try to move again. But for how much his chest is burning, he hardly has the mind to try that. Everything hurts, and he presses away from the lightsaber instinctively, the moments ago when it ran him through replaying through his mind again.

“How are you alive?” Windu demands.

“I don’t know,” Anakin grits out. It’s not like he has any more of an idea either.

“You had to have done something.”

“You’re the one who killed me. Maybe you didn’t do it well enough,” Anakin snips back. What’s he supposed to say?

He’s not stuck in a time loop or something equally ridiculous, is he? Because that’s absurd, but –

The blade presses closer against his neck nearly enough to burn, but Windu isn’t pulling back. “There are rumors of beings with a deep connection to the Force that can’t die. Perhaps they are more than mere legends.” His eyes are dark, burning with anger. “But you’re too dangerous to be left alive.”

Anakin doesn’t have the chance to react before it happens, Windu’s blade running through him again.

He vaguely registers screaming, struggling to breathe when everything feels like it’s on fire all over again only it’s much worse this time.

Windu gasps faintly, landing on his knees next to him.

Something’s hurting him too, but Anakin can’t figure out what. Doesn’t care to and wouldn’t have the mental space to think about it even if he did, as darkness claims him. Maybe it’s a phantom pain that he’s sensing through their bond, though that doesn’t really make sense.

Except then, he wakes up again.

Only this time, it’s somewhere else entirely.