THIS IS KINDA GRAPHIC AND PRETTY TRIGGERING. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED.
I wake up to my shoulders being gently shaken and my name being called. My head spins as I open my eyes. I look up to see a slightly panicked Keith leaning over me. I'm so confused at this point. I feel dull throbbing in my arms and a sharper pain in my thigh. I gasp as I realize my bandaged wrists are showing. I sit up too fast and our heads hit. I feel light and dizzy, but try to shake it off.
"I-I, Kei- I can... I can explain? I'm- um..." I look at him scared as hell searching for the words, but stop when I see he still looks alarmed. Not mad? "Uh. I, uhm-"
"Lance, stop. You're bleeding." Concern and worry are evident in is voice. I look down to find the bandage on my right thigh soaked in blood.
"Fuck." I mutter. I just freeze for a second before tears start to fall. "I'm sorry." I whisper, but Keith's not there. He runs through the door with a first-aid kit and hurriedly sits on the bed. I don't know what's happening or how to react. My anxiety is through the roof and I'm wondering what went wrong. I focus on Keith.
Keith carefully takes the bandage off my leg and sets it aside. Blood was spilling out of my wound like crazy. He pulls out a cloth and applies pressure, not giving time to look at the wound. After the bleeding seemed to slow down he takes off the cloth and wipes away excess blood. He cleans the area with an anti-bacterial wipe. I hear a gasp escape him as he sees the wounds causing this. I was already freaking out but my anxiety just got so much worse. He smears neosporin over my thigh and bandages it tighter than I had before. He looks up at me in silence for a moment.
"Lance, I know the answer, but tell me. Did you do this to yourself?" He says in a somber tone.
"I-I-... ha... I... uh-" Suddenly I start to cry. For so long I've kept this secret. What went wrong? Why now? Why him? The one person I definitely didn't want to know about this. But something unexpected happened. Keith pulled me to him and cradled me in his arms. I didn't have the energy to push him away and just cried into his shoulder. All my mind could do was panic and think about how weak I must seem.
We sat there for a while like that. At some point, Keith had began to gently rock back and forth and hum. Eventually, I calmed down and could breath somewhat normally. I pulled away from my rival and tried to look him in the eye. I couldn't and ended up staring at my bloody sheets.
"Lance..." he snapped me back to reality as he placed a hand on my shoulder. My heartbeat sped up and I could feel tears forming in my eyes.
"I'M S-SORRY!" I said a bit too loud as I forced my tears back. My breathing becomes irregular as I search his face for a response. Nothing. He looks... puzzled?
"So... are you sorry you did this? Or sorry I found out?" He said in the most non-threatening way he could. He seemed confused, but not as confused as I after that question. Why was I sorry? There was this huge feeling of guilt, but I couldn't pinpoint the exact cause.
"I-I don't... don't know?" I said shaking, "I'm sorry... I-I'm s-so- sorry..." My words came out as almost a whisper as I held myself, unable to even look Keith's direction. I can't believe how weak I'm being. He probably thinks I'm pathetic. He's not wrong... But hate myself for letting him see me this way.
"Okay... well why are you doing this?" God. Anything but this question.
"I-I-I don't- don't know! It-It just helps, ok? I don't know, but it- it makes- makes everything- less? Less painful? Less sad? I- I don't KNOW OK?" I stumble and trip over the words rushing out of my mouth as I break down a bit more. I stare down and my mind swirls with thoughts, but I can't focus on a single one.
"Hey," Keith said in such a sweet and caring tone it made my heart stop as I jerk my head up. "It's okay. I mean, self-harm is terrible and you're putting yourself in danger doing it..." I look up worried I'm about to be lectured. "But it's okay that you don't understand why." He gives me a smile of understanding- no, a smile of pity. Why's he doing this to me? This is so out of character for him! My mind's a mess and I don't want to deal with this. Why is he toying with me like this. He should be making fun of me... or something like that right? He hates me!
"Why-" all my panic is gone for a moment. "Why are you doing this!?" He looks shocked at my outburst. But then he just sighs. God this situation is so fucked.
"Lance... honestly. You know I care about you right? I know you made up that dumb rival thing up in your head, but can't you see? I'm genuinely concerned. I care about you a lot..." He blushes and seems to have a hard time saying this. My heart pounds with a different emotion. "I care about everyone on the team. I may not express it, but you guys are my family." Oh. 'Family'. My head was stupid to even think anything more. God I'm so dumb, I hate this. Why am I like this? He takes my silence as a sign to go on. " I know that you're probably dealing with a lot that I have no idea about, but I really do want to help you." He grabbed my hand. His fingers were surprisingly soft and felt right with the smooth leather of his gloves. WRONG PLACE MIND BACK TO THE SITUATION. I was flushed from crying, so hopefully my blush isn't too evident. I try to find a new question.
"Why... are you being so calm?" Him being calm is making me calm, so I guess it's good. But no one ever reacts like this. He takes a breath and seems to be debating something in his mind.
"Well... I used to self-harm. When I was younger I had a lot of issues, but Shiro helped me out and I stopped. This isn't really new to me... I've been where you are. And I want you to know that I'll be here for you 100%! You can come to me whenever you feel down or have the urges. I want you to come to me. Plus, I'm going to start paying a lot more attention to you. This is a shitty place to be and I want- no, need to help you. It's my personal goal now. You can't stop me." He gave me a warm but playful smile. Is he- trying to cheer me up? It's sorta working... This is weird.
"W-wait... Are you gonna tell the othe-"
"No! I won't as long as you don't want me too... I know that fear all too well. But they're our friends, and I'm sure they'd all be understanding, especially Shiro." He cut me off and reassured my rising doubts. This was all so fast and so surreal. I didn't know if I could really trust him, but I went against instinct and did. But then again I really had no choice.
A/n
This might be continued eventually... It started as a oneshot but is becoming more.
(So I read something and I couldn’t find it again to add it, but decided to add my two shitty cents in)
Lance hurts his vocal cords and is a lot more hurt than he lets show. It takes a few weeks to get better enough for Coran to be able to use Altean medical stuff to heal them or whatever.
Lance is actually a good singer and used to pride himself on it when he was with his family, but no one on the team knows that.
Everyone is making jokes about how happy they are that Lance can't talk and Keith makes the comment "I wish it could always be like this," or "I wish he were always this quiet" taking the joke a bit too far for Lance, though he never let it show.
Lance is actually really hurt, but smiles and looks as though he's laughing even though the actual sound won't come out. He cries alone in his room.
After the time is up and Coran heals him he opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out.
The first two or three days they think he's just faking to get attention or joking with them because he somehow thinks it's funny, but then they finally realise he isn't faking or joking about it. His voice is really gone. Just like they all jokingly wished. And Lance is standing there in front of them smiling as tears fall down his face.
He then thinks about how it'll be even harder to remember his family since he can't sing at night to remind him of what he used to do to his siblings and he just breaks
