Buckle your Fuckles; I have a BIG list of Shadow Milk Cookie Headcanons
Keep in mind, the following is going to contain a pretty in-depth talk about animal venom and its effects on human tissue. If you don't want to deal with that, I recommend avoiding the last bullet point. Any of these headcanons are free to be used or added to your OWN vision of this freak. That's the point of headcanons! If you reference my headcanons, though, be sure to @ me. I'll get sad otherwise.
Shadow Milk Cookie and the other Beasts physically fought the witches. I'm talking a full on war before they were sealed in the tree, they were absolutely wreaking HAVOC on the world as they knew it, and they definitely hurt one of the witches as a result. No, I am not up to date on Witch's Castle lore, and I'm not interested in exploring it at the moment.
Genderfluid. Need I say more? We've already seen the fucker cross-dressing, and he's literally in drag 24/7.
Multi-Lingual Not a very hot take, I assume, because he's literally the previous Fount of Knowledge, so no shit he would know every language and every way to twist it about in order to gain trust. Speaking in someone's mother tongue is bound to lower someone's guard. However, I think he has a tendency towards Latin and Italian because of opera talk. I need him to roll his Rs as he sarcastically goes "Oh! Oh! Bravo, Bravo, BravISSIMO!~"
He is musically talented. Obnoxiously so. Same reasoning as the first, and something that should be obvious but still something I want to talk about because I don't think a lot of people consider it. He would know how to play ANY instrument and can read all the clefts necessary to do it. Considering he is also the Archdeceiver himself, I'd say he could make instruments sound in tune when they had never been tuned in the first place and vice versa. Is he partial to anything in particular? I was almost tempted to give a basic answer like a violin, or a piano, but I thought better. No, Mr. Beast of Deceit loves the ORGAN, simply because of how dramatic and expressive he can be with it. He will absolutely make your instrument sound out of tune for fun.
He can summon his minions out of the shadows! Shadow Milk Cookie can thump his cane on the ground and have Black Sapphire Cookie at his side in two shakes of a lamb's tail. They can hear his call through any shadow anywhere, and as long as he permits it, they can slip through his Other Realm as they please.
If he were a dog, he would be a Borzoi Why? Because they look like a woolly wolf snake. They're long, they have curly hair, and they're a canine. Hence, he would manifest as a borzoi. How would that look? I actually have some art I might share of it.
Huge fan of Ink Blot Tests Similar to tarot cards, the meaning of an ink blot test puts the tester, researcher, psychiatrist, or whoever into the role of control. A role that can be easily used to manipulate someone and deceive them. You see a snarling bear in that blot? Most are supposed to see a laughing baby! You're not normal, that means something really bad happened to you! But that's OK, just listen to Shadow Milk and he'll help you out of these troubling times...
Shadow Milk Cookie knows how to steal & drive stagecoaches/carriages He has done some wild things for the thrill of it. It didn't happen after he was corrupted either, this is a recurring thing for him. Think about the Disney short with Mr. Toad running off with a horse and cart, specifically. He loved the thrill of adventure! That man has put the reigns in his teeth and drifted on hard corners, leaving him nearly teetering into a river. He's always been a wild, wild man.
He calls Pure Vanilla Cookie "Doctor" No notes.
He changes his flavor and texture of dough No one knows what he actually tastes like, because it always changes. One bite, he may have the texture of porcelain, shattering in your teeth and leaving your gums bleeding while tasting like pancakes. Then, he might be as stretchy and chewy as blueberry mochi, but with jame that tastes like kerosene. Other odd flavors and textures I think he'd do: -Pilk(Pepsi Milk) -Cough Syrup -Chalk -Sodium Metal -Graphite -Wafer paper -Acrylic Paint -Glitter Glue -Cardboard -Blueberry leaves -Spoiled milk You will rarely get something normal like Blue Raspberry or Sour Blueberries or Crispy or Cakey. No, he's just a freak, and he lives for spite.
He knows what meat tastes like. Real meat. Not jelly meat, not cake, not cream, not cacao and not jam or marmalade. Meat meat. Blood. Sinew. Bone marrow. I think he quite liked the taste. Now here's where it gets GNARLY. Strap in.
He's venomous. This was developed in tandem with @biscuit-crawl, specifically the idea that his venom is a placebo. What the hell does that mean? That means he essentially gaslights your body into thinking that it is being attacked by a genuine venom on the levels of a gaboon viper, when in reality it's him making you BELIEVE you're succumbing to venom. It's super fucking sick, IMO, and very fitting to him. Another fun avenue to take the venom is that he's truly venomous. It would have a similar effect as gaboon venom. Now, if you don't know what that venom does to a human, allow me to elaborate. Gaboon viper venom is viperid, as their name suggests, which immediately makes it a hemotoxin---something that attacks the blood. It also causes shock and necrosis and local blistering around the bite. Tissue necrosis is the process of organic tissue(skin, flesh, etc) is premature death of those cells. The cells are dying as you're still alive. The blisters Shadow Milk's bite induces are little blue eyes while the necrotizing tissue is becoming some weird shadow sludge. Yes, it is extremely painful, and it is extremely corrosive. Down to bone, baby, you're getting shadow sepsis if you don't hack that thing off. But only to humans. Humans like the witches. Only humans have hemoglobin, all the cookies have jam. They won't be affected by something that damages mammalian tissue and clots blood, they have no blood cells! Am I implying that one of the witches actually died because he bit them during that war?
Yes.
Yes, I am. That was also an excuse for me to talk about deadly snake bites. <3333 Sorry, it's super interesting to me.
















