Thinking about the habit of doubting long-held ‘types again…
Last year, I had it in mind that I am not an antelope. I only flicker into some species of antelope: a black wildebeest, an arabian oryx and a gemsbok. This idea was considered since my equinehood came back in full force, and it remains to be a significant factor of my animality, nowadays more so than my felinehood. I had no doubt that I’m still a lion, but I noticed I grew less and less sure about being an antelope. I figured: “It’s not as present or strong within my animality, but I still feel attached to it. Maybe it exists, but it’s not as integral as I thought.” This idea couldn’t be any more wrong. I’ve realized that now.
While shapeshifter is the overall species I belong to, my forms are a part of that species as well. These forms are what I am in tandem with being a shapeshifter. In other words: my forms define me as a shapeshifter. With that said, I don’t regard my ‘flickers in the same way as they are entirely circumstantial.
For me, the difference between a form and a flicker is how I feel about it outside of a shift.
I know it’s a form when I can say for certain that I am someone or something without actively being it during a shift. For example: I am a horse. I’m currently under a wildebeest shift, but I’m still a horse regardless of who or what I’m currently shapeshifted into.
On the other hand, my flickers and I have a looser relationship. I liken them to wearing clothes. I’m not my clothes. I’m just wearing them. I alternate between outfits, and I’m comfortable with them to some degree. My clothes may reflect my personal style, interests, or other aspects of my identity, but if I were to remove my clothes from my body, I wouldn’t be removing a part of me. I’d be removing something that I happen to have. I apply this same logic to all of my flickers.
So, where do antelopes come into this?
Recently, I was looking into domesticated cattle since I was having some bovid feelings. I alternated between a few of breeds; I’ve flickered into an American Milking Devon, a North Devon, an Ankole-Watusi, and a Hereford. These breeds come up occasionally, but not enough to be considered fully integrated forms. I’ve even cameo-shifted into a zebu once or twice. Although the general shape of cattle stuck a little bit, each connection was fleeting.
I am not cattle, not like how I am a horse. I can present myself as this species in my phantom shifts, but it’s like how I’d present myself in an outfit. These breeds reflect the fact that I experience being livestock and a bovid respectively, just as a cultural or political shirt may reflect my experiences in or beliefs about society. However, if I shift into a black wildebeest and no longer take the shape of an Ankole-Watusi, then that means the clothes have come off. I’m no longer a black wildebeest in Ankole-Watusi clothing. I am just a black wildebeest. If I were to shift into a Suffolk Punch, I’d still be a black wildebeest (albeit at a distance) since being that species is a part of what makes me a shapeshifter. I hope I’m making sense.
After making note of these flickers, I considered whether or not this meant my bovid feelings were related to my antelope forms. Spoiler alert: they were. I can’t say I’m surprised when my forms as an antelope— specifically as a gemsbok and an arabian oryx— were my first indicators that I’m a xerocole. Xerocole is a collective term for any animal species that has adapted to living in a desert environment, and it’s very significant to my animality. Just as I have specifics about domesticated species (ex: I am a working animal, almost exclusively), I have similar specifics about wild species. Typically, my ideal environments are deserts, semi-deserts, grasslands or shrublands and savannas. I can compromise with mountainous regions, but that’s exclusively in regards to my avianhood.
It started with being a lion and two kinds of oryx. I didn’t realize my experiences were that of a xerocole’s until I became a dromedary camel, a red kangaroo and two kinds of scorpions, though. Regarding non-xeric species I belong to, the only exceptions are widespread domesticated species (draft horses and donkeys) and other species that’s tailored to arid or dry climates, just not deserts (black wildebeests, griffon vultures). Even then, two of my flickers also count as xerocoles (Ankole-Watusi, gobi bears). Whether they’re tropical or not (though, I do prefer tropical), deserts and semi-deserts are ideal habitats for me as a wild animal. Savannas follow right after!
The point being: I can’t believe I really doubted how integral being an antelope was to me, despite learning I’m (mostly) a xerocole through these experiences!
i was going to ask what flickerers, starseeds, and godshards were but then saw the "fucktive" tag and now im really curious, what does that mean????
You were going to ask about flickerers, starseeds and godshards too, so I’ll answer everything in this post and you can send follow-up questions if you’re still confused!
A fucktive (or fcktive) is a mix of a fictive and a factive. An example of this would be an actor who plays themselves in a movie, such as Michael Jordan in Space Jam!
A flickerer is a person who experiences flickers (fictionflickers, animalflickers, etc). A flicker is an identity which is temporarily taken on, usually after consuming media which the identity stems from. This usually ends shortly after related media has stopped being consumed.
A starseed is someone who believes they originated from another world, dimension, or planet and is currently living as a human. Many claim they’re here to save/better/transform humanity, though explanations vary. I haven’t personally spoken to many starseeds, so if any would like to add on to this post, please do!
A godshard is someone who considers themself to be an independent part or shard of a still extant god. Once again, I haven’t spoken to many godshards, so if you’d like to add on with any more information, go ahead!
C'est une identité dont on entend pas beaucoup parler, mais j'aimerais vous la présenter !
Un otherflicker s'identifie temporairemment et involontairemment comme un animal/créature/ou un personnage/ect sur le plan non physique.
Cette identité apparaît (dans beaucoup de cas) après avoir consommé une série, un livre, ou un film, ou un jeu vidéo ect en rapport avec un animal/créature/ou personnage/ect. en particulier.
L'identité s'estompe puis disparait généralement peu après avoir fini la série, ou le film, ou le livre,ect en question.
Le type d'otherflicker le plus connus est le fictionflicker.
Un fictionflicker s'identifie temporairemment et involontairement comme un quelqu'un ou quelque chose venant d'une fiction sur le plan non physique.
Par exemple pendant qu'une personne regarde une série de science fiction, elle peut commencer à s'identifier comme un des personnages, et après avoir arrêté de regarder la série, au bout de quelques semaines elle ne s'identifie plus comme tel.
Il existe aussi les animalflickers, conceptflickers, spaceflicker, [ect]flicker,...
Certains otherflickers ont la capacité de shifter en leur type temporaire.
Cette identité est aussi valide que les autres, même si elle ne dure pas toute une vie !!!!
Si vous pensez vivre ou avoir vécu cette identité, partager vos expériences dans les commentaires ! :3
