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GASP something without sakura in it omg. My beloved friend in the Sapphic Saku discord posited us with messy lesbian shizune and cocky playboy anko. We were all hooked and i think i made and completed this piece within an hour of that conversation. We were foaming at the mouth...
The excerpt I remember is:
Anko: Hey, I heard you tried to poison Orochimaru. Let me buy you a drink.
Shizune: !!? /////////////////////
anyway i love them your honor
Prepping them with Bullying Comebacks™ trend but it's kid Iruka and kid Anko
"Ahahaha, you're missing your two front teeth", and kid Iruka replies, "Yup, and that's how growing up works!"
"Your hair looks bad," and kid Anko replies, "kill yourself"
have I asked if u have any Iruka and Anko bffs headcanons yet Could I please pretty pleaseee read them .. bats eyelashes at u repeatedly
- vp
you have not so i will deliver!!!!!
-Anko and Iruka were echothers first kiss, which was just as terrible as you think it was
- Anko listens to Iruka snore when she cant sleep and iruka likes to put his hand over her pulse when he cant calm down
- cuddle bugs. those two bffs who are always on top of echother
- Everyone has asked if they have smth going on at least once. Its a canon event and ritual of initiation of their coworkers
- Anko treats Irukas aparment as her personal resting station. Just straight up leaving her shit there and does not care for Irukas privacy. Iruka stopped fighting it around 16 years olf and just gave her a drawer in his closet.
- the fuel echothers bad habbits in moments of crisis. If Iruka is smoking you know somewhere in Konoha Anko is eating unhealthy amounts of dango And vice versa
- Iruka was the one that made friends with Anko first. He saw her littering around the academy even though she had graduated and was already chunin and thought 'i should go over and ask whats up' and they been inseparable every since
- yelling at echother obscenities and insults are their love language. It leaves everybody a little scared
- ( this one i saw on a fic and I treated as my own) Anko made iruka eat small bits of poison and called it "murder lunch" when they were kids as training and now Iruka has a taste for most comun poisons.
- Anko often leers at Iruka when someone his type pases by, much to his consternation
- when Iruka is drunk he gets handy and affectionate and Anko gets philosophical and deeply grateful his her friends to the point of tears. More than once their friends have seen them cuddled up together with anko crying saying "I JUST LOVE YOU SO KUCH " while iruka pets her hair and says yeah yeah me too while he sniffs. Both will deny it and will never admit even under threat of torture
"It's not Your fault"
Me encontré la plantilla y me imaginé esto
Ask Original Male AU Farmer AU Crossover AU
Sniffing, masterbating, fantasizing about large cock
Farmhand Ino, do you always sniff Issei’s cum off Kurenai’s stains while masterbating? What are your dreams of him like?
Anko lounged on the porch, watching Ino fold Kurenai’s laundry with a predatory grin. “Tell me, Ino,” she purred. “Do you always sniff Issei’s cum off those stains while you're playing with yourself? What are the dreams like?”
Ino stiffened, her cheeks flushing deep red. She looked down at a damp patch on a sheet, her nose flaring instinctively.
"At first, I didn't have any intention of doing that," Ino confessed, her voice trembling. "Issei is a hunk, but I had standards… but he's a real man. His scent is so strong and thick that even after Kurenai cleans the sheets, I can still smell him. To my surprise, just the scent makes me cum."
Anko leaned in. "And the dreams?"
Ino’s eyes glazed over. "In my dreams, he's primal. He catches me in the tall corn, pins me to the earth, and rips my clothes away. He doesn't ask; he just takes me, driving into me with that massive heat until I'm screaming and arching my back. I dream about him filling me to the brim, a thick, endless flood that leaves me drenched and shaking."
Ino shivered, her hand sliding toward the hem of her shorts. "When I'm alone, I press those sheets to my face and imagine it's him. I lose all control."
Anko laughed, a low, hungry sound. She leaned into Ino’s ear. "Why settle for old stains, Ino? Issei is a generous man. Stop dreaming and start practicing."
Ino looked toward the fields where Issei worked, a determined smile spreading across her face. "I think you're right."
Ask Original Male AU Farmer AU Crossover AU
Farmer Kurenai, how did your best friend Hunter Anko react to seeing you spend so much time with Farmer Issei, and is it true that she has take an interest in the young man herself.
“Anko noticed almost immediately,” Kurenai answered with a resigned sigh. “She came by expecting me to be alone, only to find Issei shirtless on my property fixing a fence.”
She paused.
“Admittedly, that made things look worse than they were.”
Anko had stared at Issei’s sweat-covered torso for several seconds before grinning at Kurenai.
“So this is why you’ve been skipping drinks with me.”
Kurenai calmly explained that Issei was her student, neighbor, and the grandson of the man who helped establish her farm.
Anko listened, then asked if Kurenai’s lessons usually required shirt removal.
“It was hot,” Kurenai muttered, faint blush rising. “And he got paint on it.”
From nearby, Anko called, “You didn’t tell him to put it back on!”
Kurenai’s eye twitched.
As a hunter, Anko often worked in the wilderness tracking predators and supplying meat. Issei was quickly fascinated by her work.
Unfortunately, Anko was just as fascinated by him.
“She teased me because she noticed I liked his attention,” Kurenai admitted. “Then Issei helped her carry an injured hunting dog back to town.”
He stayed with the animal through treatment despite scratches, bites, and mud.
“That changed her opinion,” Kurenai said. “Anko respects endurance and loyalty.”
It also helped that Issei openly called her a dangerously attractive woman who looked like she could pin him to a tree.
Anko had laughed for a full minute.
Then told him she absolutely could.
“So yes,” Kurenai conceded. “She’s taken an interest.”
Her expression tightened.
“Now she visits more often, brings him venison, teaches tracking, and keeps offering ‘private survival lessons.’”
Anko leaned in with a grin.
“He needs to learn how to handle dangerous wildlife.”
“You introduced yourself as the wildlife.”
“And he seemed interested.”
Kurenai crossed her arms.
Issei was an adult. She understood that.
That didn’t stop Anko from showing up in tight hunting gear, leaning on Issei, or calling him Farm Boy just to watch her reaction.
“Anko enjoys provoking me,” Kurenai said flatly.
“Because you’re cute when you’re jealous.”
“I am not jealous.”
Issei walked by carrying a heavy sack of feed.
Anko whistled.
Kurenai immediately hit her arm.
Anko only grinned wider.
“Not jealous at all.”
Kurenai looked away, cheeks warm.
“Perhaps I just dislike sharing my student’s attention.”
“Sure, Red.”
“And perhaps,” Kurenai added, narrowing her eyes, “you should remember I know where you keep your traps.”
Anko laughed and slung an arm around her.
Issei glanced over.
“Should I be worried?”
Both women looked at him.
“Yes,” Kurenai said.
“Absolutely,” Anko agreed.
