probablylostrightnow replied to your post “[[MOR] I’m a giving type of person. I’ll go out of my way to help...”
All the hugs and love to you, Zen. You are so kind and it is totally reasonable to want some kindness in return.
saint-leona replied to your post “[[MOR] I’m a giving type of person. I’ll go out of my way to help...”
Sending you so many hugs and cheesecake. I hope you get more you time coming up, even if it's just to play Andromeda. (Not that playing is a "just" sort of thing. It's important.)
I’m pretty lucky in that I have a chocolate swirl cheesecake in my fridge right now...
But it’s funny how gaming has become such an important “me time” to me, especially since I barely have time to game anymore. You’re right it’s not a “just” kind of thing, it’s me time, something entirely 100% for myself, and that’s why it’s important.
thievinghippo replied to your post “[[MOR] I’m a giving type of person. I’ll go out of my way to help...”
You are an amazing human being who deserves so much more. I am sending you all the hugs right now.
Thank you, I truly appreciate it.
servantofclio replied to your post “[[MOR] I’m a giving type of person. I’ll go out of my way to help...”
*hugs* There is apparently some research that this is a common dynamic -- people who are consummate givers frequently get surrounded by people who don't reciprocate. It is okay to take time for yourself, pick your moments of generosity, and reduce contact with people who don't give back to you. <3
I think this absolutely makes sense. Perhaps it’s my “need to please” that makes me seek out that kind of friend, or their need for validation that makes them seek out me. But I love your note about “picking my moments of generosity”. Being generous is a part of who I am, but that doesn’t mean I need to do it all the time until I’m worn out.
spinninglenny replied to your post “[[MOR] I’m a giving type of person. I’ll go out of my way to help...”
SUPER BIG FLUFFY HUG because you are a wonderful person who deserves all the niceness in the world!
Thank you, darling. *hugs back*
penthesilea1623 replied to your post “[[MOR] I’m a giving type of person. I’ll go out of my way to help...”
*hugs*. People suck sometimes, which is why the me time becomes so important.
Lately I’ve barely had any me time at all except for one night about a month ago, lol, so it’s absolutely something I need to prioritize more.
exposed-whimsy replied to your post “[[MOR] I’m a giving type of person. I’ll go out of my way to help...”
It took me a long time to learn to say no. I'm very similar in that regard. No, or no I have plans, even if those plans are to play video games are perfectly valid answers to give people. You can be kind and still look after yourself. Xo I'm sorry your weekend went to shit. It's not selfish to want to be cared for.
That’s exactly what I need to work on is saying no. As I mentioned below, I have few friends and frankly I’m afraid to give them up. So I need to work on boundaries for myself more than anything.
anon-omis replied to your post “[[MOR] I’m a giving type of person. I’ll go out of my way to help...”
Always here if you need to vent! I definitely did spring cleaning of the people who were only friends with me when they needed something and it was incredibly liberating. I found myself much happier with the quality of my friends versus the quantity.
I just wish my quantity wasn’t so low as it was. I have amazing friends on here, I’m strictly speaking of IRL friends -- I have very few, and lately most of them seem to adopt a bit of a selfish attitude towards me. I feel like if I dropped them, I’d have no one.
