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the interconnectedness of all things is a real bitch when you have to exist as a consciousness within a body with something wrong in it

#incoherents #another helplessness

the ADA is like. so fucking important. for real one of the laws in the States that makes it most bearable living here. wish it wasn't constantly broken with no repercussions by powerful institutions and corporations.

#incoherents #another helplessness #us politics

having a disorder that makes sunshine make you feel sick is so funny. like man I'm literally a vampire.

#i feel soooooo unwelllllllll #but it's nice i guess that i'm figuring out more of my triggers :/:/#i'm gonna feel chemically burning in a few hours too even without any sun burn or anything #but rn i feel like i'm being attacked by radiation. it's not even hot i have ac i'm just in the car #my head is shaded too #but it's like i'm like. being poisoned. literally feels like poison #incoherents #another helplessness

maybe I should just convince some doctor to prescribe me hydroxychloroquine. i'm just scared because of the fact I worry it could make me blind.

#incoherents #another helplessness #this sounds silly when said like this but the connection between severe eye co #complications and my history is over 500%#the emotional part may be that the time i did have permanent vision loss (i can still see to like 20-60 but it ranges)#was with the covid vaccine #which caused the optic nerve haemorrhage #but it didn't just cause that it was what changed my body forever #so my brain is like no no systemic treatment that could fuck with my eyes SCARY #even if it does the Opposite of what the covid vaccine did #but MAYBE IF I COULD TALK TO A PROFESSIONAL ABOUT IT 😔😔

this isn't true for me actually I'm collapsing in front of you and saying i'm dying a million deaths and being a bitch about it.

#incoherents #another helplessness #mage of doomisms #i suppose i do still act a lot considering if i wasn't id be hardcore screaming #but i cannot stop complaining. i'm experiencing excruciating pain in the brink of passing out. i'm gonna be a bitch about it

people when they realise that being not ableist isn't just a talking point to identify with and often requires being open minded to "weird" behaviour or being inconvenienced

#incoherents #another helplessness #mh #mental health #(first tag is my physical tag)

like it's not even the severity of the trauma that has made my life unliveable now too it's still the severity of my physical health issues.

#incoherents #vent #another helplessness #like i was sexually assaulted a week ago and my brain is still better than two weeks ago when I didn't have my pre auth yet it's so fucked #fucking crazy my god

is it normal that if you do a quick body scan that you'll suddenly experience horrific agony so bad you'll immediately want to go to the ER or do I dissociate away a lot of the severity of my chronic pain 🤔🤔

#incoherents #probably it's normal and i'm just weak and sensitive #holy shit do not try at home. wait no that's a normal thing to try at home....#at least in less than 48 hr i'll have nurtec for the first time in months and months and a nerve block #another helplessness

#another helplessness

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