currently very angry because of ableists, specifically of the pd demonizing flavor
warning for rant under cut (Tw for ableism, specifically against personality disorders)
I have BPD and apparently that makes every single point I make “manipulative”
Abelists also refuse to call themselves ableists when they’re anti pd, but they are.
They have a double standard for people with “bad” personality disorders, demonizing every word we say
last time I checked, that was ableism.
They use “narc” as an insult, similar to how other ableists use “autistic” or “special ed/sped” as an internet, once again, ableist.
And I will admit, I’m not squeaky clean. I have trouble with impulsively lying and guilt tripping people without consciously trying to, I’ve been trying to fix it, but at still working on it.
I can explain every single one of my behaviors, thoughts, and anything I do
I impulsively lie and attention seek because I want the positive attention I never got. I want people to notice me, but not because they want to insult me, but because they care about me. I want people to care like nobody ever did.
I guilt trip and self harm because I want control, power, something, literally anything. I’ve never had any power over anything ever in my life, and I do my best to take it back, these are both examples of bad coping strategies that I’m trying to work past.
I self destruct because I feel like I deserve it, my most common way of self destruction is searching for things that upset me, and my internalized ableism fucks with me.
All three of these things feed into eachother,
Attention/Validation Seeking -> Want for control -> Self Destruction and Guilt -> Attention/Validation Seeking, and it loops.
This is why I have a disorder. Not because I’m evil, but because my life is disordered. Get why it’s called a disorder now?
They act like we’re a different species. Like we’re subhuman, and while some of us may be therian/otherkin/ect, that doesn’t make any of us lesser than.
And people say we start up for ourselves because we want to silence those who have experienced “narc abuse” or “borderline abuse” when neither of those exist. That’s just abuse, and they deserve to be cared for a treated just like anyone else who experienced abuse, just like us, right? Right? \Wrong, apparently. Apparently we don’t get safe spaces or help because we have evil personality disorders, oh no! (annoyed tone)\
We don’t get safe spaces because ableism. We just want help. We just want to be heard. Please. Stop being assholes. Try it from our POV: we’ve been abused, but now we’re blamed for being abusers because of our disorder resulting from our abuse. Even if you’re the nicest person ever, you’re still grouped in with the small malicious people who have your disorder.
