#antiwank

[jaybird-with-a-hat]

Yeah yeah I know I do this a lot but when things are wanky it reminds me how much I appreciate all the wonderfully reasonable and pleasant people I've found thru the Sherlock fandom. Y'all rock!

[jaybird-with-a-hat]

*AGGRESSIVELY POSTS FLUFF*

[jaybird-with-a-hat]

I’m having an epic cuteness cage match with Bee and I chose Team Penguin so um I hope you all like pengwings cause that’s what’s in the queue for the next few hours.

[jaybird-with-a-hat]

"When we have a need to be justified, we actually value problems more than solutions, and we value conflict over peace." I'd like to highly recommend this video to anyone thinking about the current wank, or feeling overwhelmed or saddened by conflict in the fandom. How we THINK about other people and our (sometimes hidden) needs drive conflict in our lives. This concept has made a big impact on me, in both my professional and personal life. I had no idea how much this mindset pervades everything I think about, and I struggle with it every day. But the awareness has made me a much happier person, and my relationships stronger. I've been able to find ways out of some difficult situations. Please please take 19 minutes to watch it, and if it clicks with you read the associated books too.

[jaybird-with-a-hat]

I love my dash. It's so carefully curated to be nice and calm. You're all wonderful.

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

I am bi and its gotten to the point where I am so disappointed in supernatural for teasing me with representation of my own sexuality that I'm starting to resent the pairing that I used to love so much. Any tips for staying sane when it hurts that they are queerbaiting the shit out of all of us and once again I feel I'll be left with noone bi to relate to? xxx

I’m so sorry, honey, I know it is frustrating because it seems so damn clear to us that it really feels like they’re taunting us or dragging their heels as hard as they can, but I honestly don’t feel like they are. It may be clear to us but to the heteronormative general audience it actually ISN’T clear, because so far they have been able to use their powers of heteronormativity to dismiss everything that’s happened between Dean and Cas as them being close friends. I don’t know how, but they do. And the people who view all our meta and talk about Dean being bi but still argue loudly against it, they say “no way, Dean is straight!!!” because we have not had any indisputable, textual proof of him being interested in men.

But what I truthfully think is that they’re not taunting us or dragging it out, they’re telling a story. The people making this show have put years of their lives into it, an I don’t believe they would intentionally fuck it over by putting so much work and wasting so much of the show with queerbaiting. I mean, at this point it would just be fucking stupid to deliberately queerbait, because they have laid SO much groundwork, they have planted SO many leads and SO much foreshadowing that to leave all of those puzzle pieces as unfulfilled teases for the sake of making a relatively small group of people think Dean and Cas are in love would be plain terrible storytelling and terrible showrunning. 

I think that queerbaiting could be lines like “Cas get out of my ass” and “He was your boyfriend first”, things that make hetero people laugh because “oh implying they’re gay is funny” while queer people get excited by the tantalizing hint of representation. I don’t think queerbaiting is laying down years of intentionally written plots and parallels and character development and having those characters actually confess to desires for love and companionship in ways that strongly suggest at each other. (I’m going to reference the deleted scene from 9x10 because it silently told us that what Cas wants is a human life with Dean.) I can’t even wrap my head around showrunners and writers going to this much fucking trouble just to queerbait. I’ve reached a point where considering this queerbaiting takes more faith than considering it intentional storytelling.

I know we’re impatient. But this show doesn’t give us anything quickly or easily, especially happiness and healthy relationships. And the show doesn’t want to give us what we want, because it wants to maintain dramatic tension and suspense until it ends, or else the show has nothing to do with itself. And Dean coming to terms with his bisexuality is a huge deal for him, not something that he can believably just accept in a single episode and be all hunky dory about it. There are so many damn issues repressing his real identity that it was monumental for him to just admit he liked Taylor Swift. Admitting he likes dudes? That has been and will continue to be a slow and painful process, as I’m sure a lot of queer people can relate to. But I don’t think it’s teasing. I think we’re watching Dean slowly inching open that closet door, and I think we’re watching the show laying the groundwork for the general audience to accept that closet door coming open, and at the same time feeding us not taunts, but hints.

You don’t have to believe that it’s going to go canon if believing hurts too much, but I really encourage you not to give in to bitterness and to try to look at the story in a rational and critical way. Read some positive meta, stay away from wank and naysayers who just want to be negative and angry. Read fic to meet your needs, and maybe you could watch The 100 too, now that they have a canonically bi character. :) 

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

What do you think of the next episode so far? I see so many people being angry for the Hannah/Cas kiss; I personally expected Hannah trying to seduce Cas, so it doesn't bother me, I'm just curious how he will handle it

I actually haven't seen anything yet because I got home too late to watch last night and then I fell asleep, so I've been avoiding my dash until I get my act together. However, I think it seems extremely out of character for Hannah - who has never expressed one ounce of sexuality and has seemed rather disdainful or at least bemused by human practices - to just up and kiss Cas, so I think there must be some extenuating circumstances surrounding it. I'm not angry or upset in the least, just very curious as to what's going on and highly suspecting the CW of doing another shit job at editing a preview. Berens is the writer I trust the most, so I really doubt there's going to be rampant heteronormativity or random out of character sexuality. The episode features several women and Berens wrote women beautifully in 9x19, so I anticipate a good episode that we shouldn't speculate too much about until we've seen it.Remember that there is literally 0% chance of Hannah being Cas's endgame, no matter what happens. She's his mirror, not his match.

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

You are one of my destiel-positive blogs I follow. Please tell us something positive about Destiel and Claire Novak, because I have the feeling that Claire will be introduced to keep Cas away from Sam/Dean while they look for her mother. This really stings me. I try to hope for nothing but I'm still dissappointed.

Hon, take a deep breath. Keep in mind that we really know absolutely nothing about what is going to happen with Claire, provided the source about her is totally credible. (I haven’t been online in hours.) All the time they announce things and people chicken little and then it turns out to be nothing, so don’t jump to any conclusions cause we know NOTHING.

That said, I firmly maintain that things separating Dean amd Cas/keeping them apart ARE NOT bad signs for Destiel. In fact since 8x17 I have seen all of their separations as incredibly telling that they HAVE to keep them apart in order to keep them from talking and then fucking on the bunker table. There is nowhere else for these characters to go with each other. Amd just because they’re not letting them go there NOW does not mean they WON’T okay sweetie, it just means that as long is the show is running they are probably going to keep this tension up as they are each other’s endgame, not two-seasons-left game. Yes that’s frustrating, but it doesn’t inherently equal queerbaiting.

The way I see it, bringing in Claire will hopefully clear up the naggling loose end of Jimmy. I think Jimmy has been dead since Lucifer blew Cas up if not before, but it hasn’t been said out loud. I think the fact that Cas was human says it implicitly, but still not canonically, and Cas maybe having another person inside him is a pretty important issue to make clear before he enters into a longterm romantic and sexual relationship (hint hint with Dean) so all issues of consent are dealt with.

Also, let’s not make another great female character all about getting in the way of Destiel, alright? Let’s focus mainly on hoping they don’t fuck up with Claire and that she’s awesome.

I’m writing this in the Whole Foods bulk aisle so I gotta go, but try not to yell about the sky falling, sweets.