#anxiousbrain

[anxiousbrain]

Takut Pulang ke Rumah

Dani perlu pulang ke rumah. Lalu, Dani mencoba mengingat bagaimana rasanya pulang ke rumah, karena terakhir kali ia pulang ke rumah kemungkinan hampir 3 tahun lalu. Dani mulai lupa. Ada rasa sakit diperutnya ketika ia mencoba mengingat rasanya menjejakkan kaki di rumah. Dani merasakan takut.

[anxiousbrain]

Green banana is the worst. I don't think I can eat green banana. I tried..not good. It is not ripe yet, so it is chalky and probably not supposed to be eaten. My anxious brain was like...I am going to get food poisoning, a weird one, banana food poisoning. Then, my friend told me to put it in the same place as orange 🍊. 3 days after...my green banana turns yellow and sweet. It is amazing now. Happiness is simple. Probably, I'll make fried banana or banana pancake.

[anxiousbrain]

it's fine, we are fine, breathe

anxiety attack

[stitchedtheshop]

I can’t seem to finish my new collection, things keep getting in the way 😬😢🤬 #mostlyme #andabitoflife But then I am realising it’s mostly in my head, perfect doesn’t exist #anxiousbrain #excitedbrain (at London, United Kingdom)

[therealnakedgardener]

Mindfulness is the Answer

Mindfulness is my new jam. I believe that being present in each moment must be the answer to everything. There is a certain sense of calmness when you can create a space for your mind to be still and silent, and breathe into the present moment. Too often we find ourselves living in the future – what’s about to happen, are we prepared for it, what if this or that. I have found that mindfulness is a great antidote to the anxious brain. Not sure what I mean by “anxious brain?” Have you ever been to a busy train station? Multiple tracks running on multiple levels, people rushing to and fro, various announcements over the loud speaker, and a cornucopia of smells – everything from coffee to curry, and exhaust to exhaustion. Even if you took away all of the noise and smells, there is still a tangible energy in the air and the chaos-in-motion as people move quickly with purpose toward their destinations. I read an article that compared the anxious mind to a busy train station; and having anxiety was like running from train to train, jumping on board and checking to be sure everyone had their tickets – and was on the right train. Living in state of frantic rushing from thought to thought, trying to keep track of everything that needs to happen, rarely getting a moment of peace? Sounds about right to me. Maybe you don’t struggle with anxiety, or maybe you just call it something else to avoid the diagnosis de jour. Either way, in any given moment we – as humans – have a lot going on. We have a ton of flashing billboards in our heads – don’t forget this, remember to do that, etc etc, ad nauseum. Ad infinitum. Knowing which ones to read first, or do first, can be enough to make you blow a fuse. Maybe set a few of those flashing billboards on fire – that’ll make them stop! Or maybe stop and try something like mindfulness; because resorting to arson and violence would be wrong😉

The article I read talked about mindfulness as a way to combat anxiety. Mindfulness is the most simple thing in the world – it’s about being aware of each moment, in the moment. A mindful person recognizes that the brain is not “driving” the thought train – the brain is merely the steering wheel. And practicing mindfulness is learning to be the one who does the steering. Mindfulness is acknowledging that we have a lot of different thoughts, instead of trying to ignore them. But it’s also about choosing which ones to pay attention to – and which ones to let pass on through. For instance, instead of jumping on board with every thought that pops into your head, instead of giving your attention to every flashing billboard in your head – just get off the train. And stand on the platform as it pulls out of the station without you. Buh-bye crazy train – see you again never! Okay, I know this is WAY easier said than done. But it’s a beautiful idea, right? Certainly one worth exploring. There are various tools and techniques to help you gain control over your busy brain – things like meditation, yoga, belly breathing, checking in with each of your senses. All of these exercises can assist you in creating a better relationship between mind and body, which can help us get back in touch with the stillness inside of us. And within that stillness, is mindfulness. Wouldn’t it be great if you could control your mind, and tell it to stop replaying all the conversations you had that day? Or what about those 3am thoughts that wake you up, or keep you awake half the night – what if you could shut that down? The power to do all that, and more, is within each of us. We just have to work hard, be intentional, and have patience. We have to be willing to put the effort in if we want to create change in our lives.

My yoga teacher always validates the forgetting we do each day, we can’t help it – he says we all have built-in forgetters inside of us. I think he’s right. But the message is when you finally remember what you forgot in the first place, just begin again. I forget to choose mindfulness all the time. And while I have faith that someday mindfulness will just be my automatic response, today I am still having to remind myself. This mostly happens at work, when a situation gets heated – and the heat of my reaction is just as intense. I still manage to get 50%-75% through a tantrum before I remember I was supposed to choose mindfulness; and that’s when I stop, take a few cleansing breaths, and imagine all of that heat and conflict being loaded onto a train, and I watch the train pull out of the station.

There’s more work to be done than creative imagery in a stressful situation. This is just what I choose, as I began my own journey toward mindfulness. For some reason, the analogy in that article resonated with me – I even laughed out loud in spite of myself because the description totally nailed it. I know that I don’t need to jump on board with every thought, assessing and evaluating, checking and filing. And I am tired of emotional responses and feeling angry all the time. I can choose something else, I can choose mindfulness. And maybe if I remember that choice often enough, it will become my natural reaction.

[stitchedtheshop]

Yup, I think about people all the time but never call. #anxiousbrain #callme #hehe (at London, United Kingdom)

[firefox905-blog]

I absolutely love this book❤ #rewire #anxiousbrain #bookstagram #lovereading (at Cambridge, Ontario)

[anxiousbrain2016]

Day 1: 6-5-16

My goal is to write a little glimps into my day and my emotions for the day, every day for a whole year. Lets see if i can keep with it. My own personal diary for a year. Today was not one of my better days. My wife is off visiting with famiy and friends in california. 2500miles away for 2 whole weeks. I am having a horrible time sleeping and miss her terribly. I dont know how we were long distance so long. now i have trouble going a few days let alone weeks or months. I woke up this morning not in the best mood. i didnt sleep well last night and when i was sleeping I had weird dreams that made me wake up in an emotional state. My next step was to get ready for work which i did in my normal quick manner. making sure that the dogs went out before i left and i had my phone yata yata. anyways...i remembered ALMOST everything but not quite. i forgot my wallet. and since i didnt bring anything with me to eat this was going to pose a problem in a few hours when i get seriously hangry. love that word.. it describes me when i get hungry to a t. anyway so i had to call my mom and ask her to bring my wallet up to me which she did without issue.. even buying me a candy bar before she left. i got over that part of my day without too much stress. and knowing how my anxiety can get the best of me that is saying something. well then i was just getting in my work groove and i go to get back in the office to do my next task and......i cant. my keys to the office are no where to be found. i have officially locked myself out. and there is no one else with keys at work. i decide to ask another manager to coe in when they are off work and unlock the door for me. by this point though my anxiety has become a sickening ball of nerves in my stomach that is causing me to feel nauseous and itchy on the outside. i get very itchy when im upset. dont know why. thakfully after about 45 mnutes my savior arrives and i can finish my day. my mood however is trashed and it did not recover until after i finally got to speak with my wife and that helped a lot. also i feel pretty happy to have this page. maybe no one will read it but maybe one person will and feel inspired to do the same. or maybe ill make a new friend. or maybe i will actually help someone get through one more day knowing they are not alone in their anxious brain.