‘The Only Thing’ by Sufjan Stevens is one of the most Eruri songs I know; f*ckin crying my heart out 😭
—
Do I care if I despise this, nothing else matters, I know
In a veil of great disguises, how do I live with your ghost?
Do I care if I survive this, bury the dead where they're found
In a veil of great surprises, hold to my head till I drown
Should I tear my eyes out now, before I see too much?
Should I tear my arms out now, I wanna feel your touch
Should I tear my eyes out now?
Everything I see returns to you somehow
Should I tear my heart out now?
Everything I feel returns to you somehow...
5707 Words Rivetra Fanfic after many long time ago XD Wattpad link here
Genre : Angst, Blood, Romance, Near death
Pairing : Levi x Petra , Rivetra,
Petra Ral wasn't all perfect, none of the soldiers are. Reality hits harder when they venture outside the walls. Petra remembered her first near death encounter on her first day as a scout already, and somehow it was her best friend that trade her life for her safety instead. Losing her best friend from trainee days on day one left her feeling guilty. Survivor guilt was something a soldier should handle soon or later. None is safe at all outside the wall. Even the titans didn't give her enough time to grief after they digested her one only best friend. She simply froze, almost ready to die. But her day wasn't over yet. A black hair man suddenly came to her rescue, like she had finally found a dripping water out of the dessert. She witnessed the strength of Humanity Strongest right before her eyes. Slicing Titans here and there like it was just another normal day for him.
"Hey new recruit. You Okay..? What is your name ?"
He helped her coming back to her senses again after that horrifying experience. Even learned to forgive herself for the guilt she had. It wasn't instant, took her months. Although the man just simply gave small pep talks to her, she treasured it so much. She learned that he was recently promoted as a captain at that time but he doesn't have a squad yet. He said he wasn't ready yet. But he could use some training to give his subordinate some pep talk. And So she learned that he wasn't that scary as most people think he is.
Petra trained so hard months by months and finally killed her first titan on her 3rd expedition. She never expected anyone to recognize her. She just wanted to honor her late mother who died outside the walls back when she couldn't even walk yet nor remember her own mother's face. But she felt like her mother will always be there protecting her when she is outside the walls. She thought that she was alone in the middle of the forest, but she wasn't. Pair of steel grey eyes surprisingly saw her in distance. And she recognized him.
"Excuse me sir, Why it seems like you monitored me sir ?"
A curious question came out of her mouth so sudden when they entered the gate back from an expedition. Quite bold she must say, but she needs to get it out her mind. She was hoping for a warm answer from him. But he gave her cold shoulder.
"Monitor you? No shit, of course i have to monitor every scout especially young recruit brats like you. By that i mean everyone, you think you're some special huh?"
He glared at her thinking that he might not be on the good mood or it was just the way he talks or he was just stressed out after expedition.
Wasn't sure what to reply, her mouth opened about to say something but she didn't at the end. The ginger hair went silent and continued their ride to the headquarter while looking down. Maybe she just imagined things.
"Congratulation of your first kill. I expect more from you Ral."
His deep voice was loud and clear to her ears that sparks something inside. But the man simply accelerate his horse and left her behind in awe.
She wasn't sure what he meant by that, but she bet that it was just some mandatory things for a captain and the higher ranks to acknowledge every subordinates achievement, it wasn't something personal she thought.
And so on, she trained so hard more than ever knowing that she gain more confidence from that first kill. Perhaps she could call herself of a maniac for a woman to train so hard than any other female in the scout. It's not like she didn't make friends, but no one really came close to be her best friend. Not after her late one. That's why she spend most of her free time training. People says that practice makes perfect. It was solidly proven on her next 4th and 5th expedition. Her solo kills increased And it wasn't a fluke or luck. It was all from her sweat and tears.
"Would you.. be.. in my squad?" His voice was low, but still firm to her
The man that happened to saved her from death on day one now asked such a strange question to her. She was sure despite of her achievements, there are far many other soldiers who are better than her. When she asked him for his reasons, he gave a big sigh and close the file on his desk. Which was her progress report
"Never mind.." he headed to exit his office.
"I-- ! I would do my best sir !"
She didn't realize how loud her voice was that got him startled. Although she didn't face him. She could feel her hearbeat just exploded for few seconds. A sound more like a chuckle from behind was heard.
"..good then.. I expect more from you from now on the squad, Ral"
Expectation was something that the survey corps try not the think too far about. Despite all the gains and loses, they will never let that light of home that someday...titans could be eradicated from the wall will happen one day. All scouts doing their best to survive and improve their skills and knowledge about the outside world. Although it was scary, but the outside world give feeling of freedom to those are brave. Petra was one of them. And definitely now she was on Levi's squad. Alongside with the other 3 talented soldier who happened to be like a family to her.. each and every one of them creating a bond that just irreplaceable. Even for Levi, he learned so much as a captain and even as a better person from them.. as for Petra, She almost..just almost never feel that terrified anymore of the outside world because of them.
That's what she expect though..
High expectation leads to a high disappointment isn't?
They were in the middle of a forest, somehow the squad got separated after a fight with a horde of titans that pushed them to spread out to lure it leaving Petra and her captain in god knows where they are with few bunch of Titans ahead of them. Levi refused to left Petra's side. Everyone knows that her safety is their top priority. But she hate how the squad act and think that she was the weakest that always need the captain's protection. And so she wanted to prove something to her captain that she isn't.
"Captain, I understand that you want to protect me by staying by my side, but please don't stop me when it comes to killing these titans ahead."
She took her blade out ready to engaged. Eyes filled with determination at the horde of titans ahead. The raven haired man simply look at her from her side, eyes filled with trust.
"No, I won't stop you.. I trust you..that's why I'm-"
the steel grey eyes met the honey one. He was kind of cut in half sentence since her face was so near.
He never once told her in words that he trusted her. It's not like he wasn't. She knew that her captain is more a man of action, not words. His guidance, his patient, his effort throughout the years for the squad simply because he believe in them, they always knew somehow. She always knew. But for him saying the words directly to her after all the hard work past couple years really something precious to her. How she wished she could just stop the time and hug him saying thank you million times to him without anything to worry ahead. Well..it was just her short imagination that somehow made her face warmer. She turned her gaze again at the titan to distract herself. So did Levi.
"that's why I'm... never mind. Let's butcher these fuckers out" Eyes on the prize again.
"Yes sir"
Both of them did great team work at killing the rest of the titans ahead. Even petra managed to solo killed 3 titans while Levi.. well almost countless. He pretty much swept everything without breaking a sweat.
"Wow.. Captain, give me a break will you.. haha.." Petra tried to catch her breath while they rest on a branch for awhile.
"You go rest awhile here, I'll handle the rest" Already readying himself for another round.
"No.., That's not fair captain..huh" She wiped her sweat eyes still determined.
He really admires her determination
"..if you insist... Be careful alright, don't get too cocky Petra" He said to her with such a smug face and launched himself again to the titans horde.
"hmm.. look who actually gets cocky huh.. " and then she launched herself again.
This time, the titans horde were more challenging. Perhaps because she wasn't on her full stamina anymore. But a special operation squad's soldier like Petra, isn't any ordinary soldier, or so she thought.... 1..2..4.. more titans she killed solo and few of teamwork with Humanity Strongest himself. She felt like she was between heaven and hell that she could fly freely while killing these demons on earth. She didn't expect that she was this strong. Perhaps having her captain nearby really gives some sort of comfort to her even in combat to truely shows her true potential. Perhaps it was what he was about to say back in the tree branches....
While she was thinking of that possibility, She was caught off guard when an abnormal titan suddenly jumps right to her with a wide mouth opened out. Instantly, Levi left everything he was doing and straightly launch himself towards her in pure horror. His heart skipped so many beats that it was not even as fast as what Petra felt at that short time. Before she could even scream, she was pushed to the side by such a huge force that came from Levi who just threw himself at her causing both of them to fall from 10 meter height hard on the ground losing any control and gravity before they rolled so hard on the ground. The impact was so great and Levi made sure to protect Petra's head with his arms.
Everything went black for mere seconds.
The nearby stomping footsteps was the thing that woke her up. She took another seconds to gain her focus again when everything she saw was circulating thanks to the rolling before she felt like puking from dizzyness.
"GAH--!"
A sharp pained voice was the one that actually snapped her back to reality and focus again as she jerked her head and so with her body up. Then she realize where and why she heard that voice...and so he released his arm from her to the side.
She was literally on top of Levi who seemed to be in so much pain that he could only open bits of his eyes, holding himself not to scream in pain.
Why he looked so in pain..? Why.. what happened...? Wait... what..I... Just..What..?"
Just then she realized the reason..
Her Blade on her right hand...
Simply cuts Levi's stomach in diagonal direction to his right chest.
And the cut was deep. Very deep inside.
Huge strikes of tremor hits her hard on her now trembling arms and now her whole body as she slowly release the blade and simply throw it to the side.
"Oh god.....oh GOD...OH GOD CAPTAIN....!! Wha...What I just .. WHAT HAVE I DONE..??!?!?!!"
Panic instantly possessed her and tears began to develop on her eyes as she tried her best to find anything to cover up the wound. She took off her cloak instead and gave some pressure to the wound in fast motion like adrenaline just rushed through her vein not giving Levi any moment to say a word as he was too busy to hold his pain while gritting his teeth. Hands still trembling badly while pressing on his would hoping that there won't be further bleeding. Her cloak quickly turned red already and so with her hand. His blood.
Levi was hissing sharp and short breath that it was so bad that he couldn't even structure a sentence in his head right now. He felt like every blood inside of him just flowing out right through his gut area. Even breathing hurted so much. And so he instantly realized that his ribs are somehow broken too from the impact making him pretty much paralyzed at the moment.
He was getting delirious in such a short time that scared the shit out of Petra so much she started to cry and whined on him that her tears fell down so hard.She could see just how his eyes trying so hard to focus but couldn't, how his mouth opened to say a word he couldn't. All because her stupidity. Her fault.!
As to confirmed her raging heart. A big stomp was heard from beside.
It was the titan that surprised her. An abnormal she didn't expect at all.
She slowly turned her head to the side and met the titan's terrifying smiling gaze.
It was scary as if that 10 meter titan expected her to be off guard before jumping before.
He gulped down her own saliva and holding back her tears again in pure terror. The titan slowly approached them in distance no longer than 10 meter ahead. She turned her gaze to her wounded captain again and then pull his hand to press at his wound that alerted him.
"Ppe..tr..."
He was trying so hard to stay conscious, eyes on her even though her face was all blurry to him. But he need to see her face. He needs to. But damnit why can't he focus?!
"Captain.. please, put pressure on your wound.. I'll..handle..this...one"
She began to rise up trying not to hurt him more and slowly pick up her gears as if not bothered by her now bloody blade that couldn't evaporate.. Like something inside of her just snapped as she came back to her senses but with pure anger.
It took him few seconds to comprehend their situation and most importantly, her intention to kill that last remaining titan by standing still readying herself. No..No... wait...
"PETRA DON'T-!" He shouted at her and it took him all the energy he had left
Petra stopped her action hearing it. But then realize that no one could help them at this situation. Not with that titan so close with them.
Her eyes back to his side at his condition again but still standing firmly. Levi clutched his eyes tightly looking so much in pain that she never ever witnessed before. But somehow his words woken her up again.
She thought that he would stop her.
But no,
he trusted her.
He trusted his life to her
He expected her to survive this cruel world
He needs her to survive
Both of them.
And this is just one of reality that hits them anytime soon or later
What to expect...?
She refused to give up, it's not their time yet
Not for Humanity Strongest
Not when she was the cause of all of it..
And so she launched herself and lure the titan out of Levi's position thinking that it would be a wise step to avoid any further casualties.
Despite its not too tall being just a 10 m abnormal titan, this is one of interesting titan that really likes to jump. Not risking to be fooled again by its jumping attempts, Petra made sure to not miss calculate her movement up to her foot works. It was a bit hard with it's agility to aim for the neck, so she cut its both knees first and then the nape. The titan stumbled down downside just perfect for the final cut. Just when she launched herself to make the final cut, the titan suddenly rolled over and opened its mouth like it was ready to greet her inside its mouth.
Thanks to her reflects that she was able to shot one hook to the side and forced her body at such a steep angle to the side back on the tree branches again. While the titan couldn't afford to stand anymore for another minutes, it was now in like sleeping position with its arms trying to reach her up in the branches still maintaining it's stupid smiling face. She waited patiently for the titan to roll over while gaining her strength back again, but 3 minutes already passed. And it won't budge at all. And its legs almost done regenerating. Change of plans then, as much as she could redo everything from start again, she worried about the time she waste for this goddamn freaky titan knowing that her captain is dying and his state would be fatal by any minutes and seconds she wasted here.
And so she decided to cut it limped legs allover again not risking herself to get caught in its arms, so the lower part is all she could do. She thought that it was more than enough to buy her and the captain to escape at least to the higher tree branches.
But wait..Levi would need immediate medical care. And right now, the medic kit was in her horse, She remembered that she didn't leave her horse that far from their initial 'hunting' spot alongside with Levi's horse. She started to whistle for her horse and going to the hopefully right direction to their horses . But damn it wasn't that easy. It's almost like she didn't have any sense of direction anymore when she was inside the dense forest that she didn't know where to or where was she from as panic started to kick in again at the time she just wasted so much on this. She kind of just randomly finding needle in a haystack for god knows how many minutes. But Levi would really need that medical kit if they gonna survive.
Finally after a quite long search, both her horse and Levi's are on sight luckly all steady. Perhaps she was too tired already that her whistle wasn't loud enough. Thank god the medical kit was all there and so she rode her horse at full speed followed by levi's horse back to his location to save some gas left.
But back when she passed the spot where that freaky titan was before, it wasn't there anymore. That single fact just shocked her into many bad scenarios that was playing inside her head right away as she realized the footsteps.. went right through her dear captain direction.
She gripped her horse's reins even harder, playing many 'what if' scenarios inside. God knows how long she left that titan to find her goddamned horse and the fucking medkit, she lost counted. She was too focused at one thing and forgot another. How could she be that stupid. How ?!?!?!
What if that titan already there...? And..
What if that titan...already ate her captain..? In that state of his ...?
God she felt so awfull she just wanted to disappear already.
Dear God Please...!
Just when she was about to lose hope, the sight of the titan finally there, just right above Levi. Its hand was so ready to grab him by and seconds.
"CAPTAINNN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
She didn't waste anymore seconds and straightly launched herself cut right to its nape at such a huge burst of gas at one go hoping that she made it on time. This time....finally she could say that she made the cut...But her earlier speed reckless motion made her lost her balance as she fell right hard down to the ground hitting her head on the rocks, she didn't fall at such a height not like before though.But now she did hit her head on the rocks, though it wasn't serious but it made her forehead bleeds somehow. Seriously, the one that should be worried the most was not her, but Levi!
A little wobbly, she ran to his side. Her cloak was entirely red now, there was a little pool of blood underneath his body already. Did the bleeding stop.. or not...? She shove the cloak and checked on the current wound condition. It was such a horrible sight. Even his porcelain skin all now pale all painted in red.The bleeding didn't entirely stop but it was slowing down and it seems starting to dry. But his eyes were closed tight. Skin and lips went way too pale...
"Captain...?.....Captain Levi......?"
her voice was so weak, she whispered his name
She tried to shook his shoulder only to get no response whatsoever.
"This can't be happening right..? After all the things I....we...went through...No..NO !"
She keeps shocking his shoulder in tears that couldn't be stopped anymore. She tried to find any pulse from his wrist and neck, not convinced enough, she listened to his chest that now getting all blooded up.
The heartbeat....it was still there....faintly...
She frantically search for adrenaline shots inside the medkit that hopefully can wake him up. She needs him to wake up. Even for a while. Unable to think any better solution, she injected him with adrenaline dispute of the risks of a heart failure. But then it works.
His body jerked up and felt a rush of blood all over him again, regaining consciousness slowly, he took a while to check their surroundings, a new evaporated titans that fucker responsible for everything they went through today..she even managed to bring their horses back..and then found her eyes again. He really thought he wouldn't see it anymore. She was very ready for another train of tears welding up inside when their eyes met again. But she really suck at not crying. He could feel her tears allover his face. Her whining voice. The voice she made when she tried so hard to breathe between her cries. He saw her.
"My fault.....it was all my fault....I wasn't careful....I was so full of myself.. and it got you............god please no... Captain please no... I'm so sorry ! I'm so sorry !!"
He hadn't speak any words left, She really didn't let him to though, Self blaming wasn't something strange for him. He knew that feeling exactly. He understood her.
He hate seeing her cry like this
Something inside of him just broke
He didn't want her to see him like this..
He needs to be strong, at least for her
As to confirm his strong will, he managed to place his hand onto her cheek slightly wiping her eyes that made her stop crying somehow. Eyes straight to her like he just see through her soul. The silence was deafening. His touch calmed her. And so her hand joined his. It was very hard to breathe from all of this emotion. She was literally scared to death knowing that Her captain almost died there in her arms. But now she stop trembling.
"It's..not your...fault..it's okay..Petra..you did it.." He tried so hard to speak leaving him hitching for another air. But Petra suddenly turned her gaze.
"Hey..look at me...You..saved me..that's all that matters..." He gave her a small grin, his eyes softened.
"No..! You saved me...Sir..I wasn't..careful..I...I...you..." Petra was still in rage, not facing him
God He wanted to just hug her right now and tell her that everything is alright..
But his body betrayed him. A sudden sting of pain jolted his entire body. He made a hissing sound and a slight grunt. This alarmed Petra even more and then she quickly opened the medical kit to find everything that she needs. The cut was deep and she wasn't sure if his internal organ got sliced up too or not. But she needed to act fast.
She pour some disinfectant to his cut which of course caused him to scream in pain. She never seen him like this before. Never so...vulnerable like this.
"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry....Captain please bear with it for awhile....."
She skillfully tended the wound, she even sew some parts of his wound hoping that it would stop the bleeding entirely. None of them speak any words as Levi just trying so hard to stay conscious to make sure that Petra is alright.
She carefully bandaged him, noticing that something bothered him not because the bleeding wound when she tried to roll the bandage underneath him.
"Is your...ribs...broken....sir...?"
He gave her a defeated sigh and gave her a little nod.
"It's just..fractured i think..it's alright..you've done..enough.."
"No it's not..sir.."
And so she began to treat his ribs area and helped him in sitting position to make sure that the bandage securely tighten his bones. They didn't move from the same spot and that cost their pants just soaked in Levi's blood pool from earlier bleeding. Not that they care anymore.
Petra was sitting right in front of him to do one last checking on her work. That's when he realized something wrong on her forehead.
"Petra..your head is..bleeding" His hand was ready to reach her wound but she stopped him mid air
"I know sir..It's not a big deal..I'll treat it myself.." her voice suddenly became colder than ever. Eyes not meeting him at all.
"Petra..." It was more of a plea rather than a call from him.
She stood up suddenly cutting whatever he was trying to say then fired an emergency smoke flare hoping that the other squad member would soon come back. She stood there in front of him back facing him in silence.
"I was so full of myself these years.....and now that....i've learned again...not to..be..." there was a slight anger in her trembling voice
Ah...It reminded him of his old self..
"Petra..treat your wound now and sit here.."
But she didn't listen to him. She did came back to him to grab the medkit box but she walked away to treat her wound. He always knew that Petra could be a little stubborn sometimes but really, he was already far being too patient with her and it began to irritates him.
"Fucking listen to your captain and come here..or I'll fucking walk there-!" before he finished his sentence he grunted in pain clutching his bandaged stomach. This of course alarmed Petra instantly as she ran to check on him again.
Did the bleeding happen again?..or was the sewing opened again..or did she make a mistake earlier...? Her eyes were full of concern and horror while examining his wound. His breath went short again as he could only opened one eye trying hard to focus just on her face.
"Captain...the bleedin-..!"
She was cut in mid sentence when he suddenly hugged her in tight embrace not caring about the pain he felt anymore from this impact that left her eyes wide open.
"I trust you remember...? We'll both survive..I promise.." He whispered to her ears
Those words hit so hard on her. She didn't know that he trusted her so much like this. She did disappoint him but at the same time she..wanted to be given another chance..
He never ever promise anything to anyone, not after Farlan and Isabel. But Petra.. she is.. just someone who is very precious to him. He hadn't got the chance to say it properly to her after all these years together..was it even the right time though..?
God knows when or where they will die right..?
He was about to say the words to her.. but everything just slowing down as he began to lose consciousness. She felt his body grew so heavy suddenly on her that frightened her even more. She realized it right away that Levi fell unconscious.. but still breathing though.. She tightened the hug
"Please hang in there..captain".. Her last tear dropped.
Suddenly, the voice of the horses and footsteps surrounded them. They finally came back home.
"No.. I'm fine really.. You can go rest Eld.." She gave him a smile
Knowing that his word won't change her mind even a bit, he slightly nod and left the room. The Infirmary room where she sat the whole day right next to the still unconscious Levi.
The ride back to the wall was intense. Levi was put on the wounded wagon while Petra keep watching on him on her horse. The night when they arrived to the hospital was even worse, He bleeds again and it took the doctors couple of hours to handle the situation again. It wasn't the titan that caused his wound. It was her stupid Blade that stuck inside of him... and cut him deep.. Even re imagined that made her want to puke already.
As she held his hand, she prayed for him to wake up soon.
"Please wake up Captain... I won't repeat...the same mistakes again...I'm so sorry"
Suddenly she felt a slight move from his hand as he began to open his eyes and see her again after some more seconds to really focused..on her. Their eyes met again at last.
All emotion, all the tears once again overflowed her as she involuntary hugged him again in tight embrace, it was definitely hurt his body but he couldn't afford to let her go. Her scent smelled like heaven to him. He embraced this moment so much.
Now he understood why he didn't want to let her go.
His true feelings for her. Why he trust her so much..
He loved her..
Yeah...He loved her..
It was night time already, only one candle illuminates the room with their silhouette. Soon they broke the hug but still 3 inches apart. Petra eyes gazed down. She is so beautiful he thought.
"Captain...why...you trust me so much...?" Her voice was more of a whisper
Why...? He doesn't know himself..
He just did.. or since when...He never really think about it.
He wiped her tears..again with his palm and Petra didn't resist. Just the two of them, embracing the life given to them after all that hell.
His thumb suddenly on her chin tracing her lower lips. His eyes was a bit teary and it was very beautiful. Before Petra processed what just he was about to do, his hand already pulling her close to meet his lips
But she put her hand on his chest while holding her breath and stopping his action right when their lips were only like 1 millimeter away and she backened away instantly. Her heart exploded right at that moment.
Realizing her action, he put his hands away, eyes still not met hers.
Both of them just stayed silent for god knows how long.
"Petra.. I.."
He tried to reason with her but she stood up suddenly and ready to exit the room. But before she closed the door she slightly turned her head.
"Thank you for trusting me captain.. I promise I won't let the same mistakes again..I'll let the nurse know your condition.....good night.."
She gave him one last genuine smile before the door closed. Leaving him on his own thoughts.
She instantly dropped down to the floor holding her knees.
What was that....? Did he just....? No way.....but..?
Questions keeps playing inside her head.
The man she adored so much even before she joined the scout, all the years being on his squad and realized just how much she cared for him. She cared for him deeply..and those admiration turned into....something she was really afraid of...
Soon she realized why she stopped him..yeah.. Reality hits her again so hard this time..
Anyone could die.. She could die anytime... Even He could die too..
She witnessed how vulnerable he was and how there are just too many unpredictable things outside the walls that scared her so much..
Love was something that they shouldn't have in this world
It would just bring pain knowing that either one of them will die sooner
How could she even do that to him
She wasn't brave enough...
But God...she loved him too..
He saw her training everyday from his little room still in recovery. They never really spoke again after that night. Sometimes she just brought him tea as if nothing ever happened.
He understood right away at what she meant by her action that night.
And so on he keeps on being the captain she knew.
But..He never really knows how she truly feels..
Not that he told her either..
Let just leave it this way..
And so he thought. Everything went back to normal again when he was fully healed. Although it hard at first for them to interact. But as time goes by..They both learned to accept what it is and moved on.
"Petra.." He called her one day when they were on the tree branch while taking a break in the middle of an expedition
"Yes sir..?" Her voice grew cautious
"You ever asked me why I trusted you right..?" His eyes focused on the bright sky above the tree canopy above them. She waited for his answer quietly.
"Because you are strong, kind, and independent woman.. and I always adore you for that, you should be proud of yourself and I believe that you would survive till the day we eradicate the titans"
Their eyes met again. Hers were sparkling in joy hearing those words from him. Took her 5 years to hear those words from him. It was enough... really... it was...at least for her
Please survive...
Please survive......
Please...................
Those sentence keeps playing in his head like a prayer..
He trusted her so much......
But who can he blame...The world...?
No, It wasn't enough for him..
He wanted to convey his true feelings after all of this hell.....
Please survive.....
Don't leave like this...
No.....no.......no way............
I trusted you Petra.... I trust you....
His world crumbled instantly the moment he saw her body...
Her usual warm honey colored eyes now looks dead gazing up the sky like she was gazing at him.
He didn't know who to trust anymore. He never tried to.
He trusted Erwin though. But it's...different...than Petra...
Rivetra fanfictions, you can visit my wattpad here along with the other one shot stories i made there, everything about rivetra ^^ I’m not sure I can keep up with the rivetra tags but it’s better than nothing lol
This is the story of Petra when wall maria falls and met Levi for the first time..
4730 words
Fall Of Shiganshina
It was year 845, also known as the “Death Year” after having a peaceful life for more than hundred years. Not even a single person inside the wall knew that day would come like hell. Not even the young girl, who just graduated as one of the top 10 from her trainee corps, Petra Ral.
It was the usual afternoon where the new graduate almost finishing their first task patroling inside the walls. New graduates are mostly patroling inside the inner wall of wall maria and helps the garrison member occasionally. In a week more, the new graduate must decide what corps they would like to join. The Military Police, Garrison, or even the Scouting Legion. While most trainees already decided where they want to be, for some reason it wasn’t that easy for Petra.
She was assigned to help the garrison to patrol in a small town inside wall maria quite far from Shiganshina but not quiet near wall rose. Her shift ends at 3pm as she went back to the garrison headquarter. Most of the senior members were just slacking off the job and handling all over the work to the youngster. All they did were just playing cards and go drunk. What a useless soldier she thought. But it was already a common sight that none ever complained about it, not even her. She went inside a small room where the new trainee use it especially just for them with just a simple table of four in the center and some bookcase. She had a long sigh while opening the door when someone greeted her across the room.
“Hi Petra!” A young girl with black ponytail hair greeted her with a big grin on her face
“Hi Emily, you finished early” Petra replied
“yeah, I slacked 30 minutes though hihi~” Emily replied with a playful voice.
“That’s so you” Petra sat on the chair across her.
“It can’t be helped,, our job is soooo boring...we keep helping the citizens here for a month!” She slapped the table and look outside the window
Petra looked at her while squinting her eyes.
“Military Police is just the same right? Helping the citizens....” It flew out from her mouth
“Basicly, but it’s inside the inner walls so it’s different!” Emily replied with annoyed face
“So you have decided to join the military police..Emily..?” Petra asked carefully
Feeling the change of atmosphere, they went into a silence for couple of seconds. Emily looked down.
“Well...you see..I never thought that i would be the number 10th at graduation...When I return to home, my parents were so proud of me that they insist me to join the military police..cause.. why not..? that’s prize you get for being the best 10 right? ...So i think..it’s the best choice..”
Petra looked straightly at her with a hint of sadness
“I’m sorry...Petra...I know we promise to join the scouting legion.. but it was 2 years ago.. things are different now!..well if I’m not the top 10 i would still reconsider join the scouting legion but it’s just hard when i went home hearing my parents,, thinking of it...it’s just hard..” Emily’s voice gone quieter
Now both of them looked down in silence. Emily is one of Petra’s closest friend in trainee days. She didn’t like the idea of separation with her good friend that always be there for her. But as the time goes by she knew that it wouldn’t be forever.
“I understand...Emily, goodluck with that” Petra was the one who break the ice, her warm smile now visible under the afternoon sunlight.
“Thankyou..Petra..God..Why won’t you just join the MPs” Said Emily with annoyed voice
“Actually...My dad insist me too...”
“See?!! Then why?!”
“I told you my reason before right..?”
“Yes but it doesn’t have to be you Petra!” Emily voice raising up
“I know...ah..well..let’s see in another week, I’ll reconsider it” Her face looked conflicted.
“You will ?!?! Thanks Petra ! I’ll wait for your answer anytime!” Emily gripped Petra’s hands suddenly.
“Yes..” At the end she managed to smile.
Just when they finished the talk, couple of people ran across the road outside the buildings. Both of them looked outside the window witness hundreds of people ran in hury leaving the town.
“What happened....?” Petra wondered
EMERGENCY REPORT !!! EMERGENCY REPORT !!!!
PLEASE EVACUATE NOW !!!!!! I REPEAT, PLEASE EVACUATE NOW !!!!!
“What the hell is going on?!” asked Emily
Suddenly the door flung open with the garrison senior with such a grim face
“YOU TWO, PREPARE YOUR GEARS USE YOUR 3D MANEUVER AND COME WITH ME, NOW !”
“YES SIR,!” Both of them saluted and began to prepare their gear in hurry.
“Um..Sir, why should we use the 3D Maneuver gear?” Emily carefully asked
“Didn’t you hear the rambling outside ? Shiganshina has fallen !!” The Man shouted in panic
“WHATTT YOU MEAN BY TITANS SIR ?!?!?!” Both of the girls were surprised as they quicken their preparation getting even more panic.
“Yes! We need to safely evacuate the citizens around the perimeter to make sure people travel north safely.”
“By north, you mean inside wall Rose...?” Petra carefully asked
“If we had to..”
Emily’s hand were shaken so bad. But Petra calmed her down.
“My family....is not far from Shiganshina....Inner walls though...but stil.....no...way...” Her body shivered so bad
“They’ll be okay if they evacuate right away through the river” The man said
“We’ll go there and check on them okay ? I’ll accompany you” Petra gripped her hand
“Sir, please let me go to my hometown !” She pleaded
“Grr....alright, we’ll go check on it later”
“Let’s Go safe some people, Petra.” She smiled at her. It lightens her panic by a bit.
“Come on! Grab your horses!” The man shouted again.
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A small team consist of 6 people with Petra, Emily, and other 4 Garrison seniors: Chad,Derek,Micha, and Captain Hans headed south to Emily’s hometown. Other than Emily, Petra and the rest of the group hometown are inside wall rose so they wouldn’t worry so much, that’s why they were eager to help her. So far, an hour after leaving the chaotic town, no titan be seen yet. Yet the main road was packed with panicking citizens so they had to choose another road.
“Whoa...so many people....Is it really serious?” Chad asked
“Of course it’s serious dumbass..they said a titan crossed the wall...well..i still can’t believe it until I see em myself..” Derek replied
“How can a titan cross the wall? I mean why now after hundreds of year ?” Micha asked
“Shit..what can we do if we see them...I barely practice 3D Manuever anymore...” Chad mumbled
“You idiot, you think only the scouting legion who are made to kill titan? We have to too, the difference is we do it inside the wall..which means in this situation! Recall your trainee practice days now before it’s too late. You can’t be serious to look like a pipsqueak in front of these two trainee ?” The Captain of the group who flung open the door earlier finally spoke in anger.
“I’m sorry captain...” Chad apologized
Both Petra and Emily just looked at their seniors upfront. It looks like they can trust their captain after all and that was a relief.
“Excuse me captain..we’ve been in horse for like an hour, but i barely see other soldiers here.. like only few..where are the others...?” Emily suddenly asked which made the captain’s eyes widen.
“Tch...they were probably too scared and headed north..how useless..” The captain face looked annoyed
“How about the scouting legion, sir ?” Petra asked in louder voice
“Come to think about it...they should have reach shiganshina and fight in the frontlines... but we didn’t know when was the exact time when the wall broke and how long has it been in chaos... oh i just remember...this is bad...”
“What...about...?”
“The scouting legion doesn’t usually start expedition from Shiganshina and their main headquarter is far from shiganshina, far enough that it’s closer to the northeast... I don’t recall they have branch headquarter inside the wall judging from their smaller amounts of member than the garrison...”
“Sir...Are you implying that the scouting legion would come later ?!” Micha assumed
“I think so too.. tch.. they just returned from a brutal expedition yesterday and i don’t think they are capable too.. but still they are better than us... But we really can’t fully relied on their small amount of members..”
“So what should we do sir...?!” Chad was in panic
“Our objective is securing Emily’s hometown first and secure the perimeter, We are absolutely not going inside Shiganshina, not worth the risk”
“Thankyou sir...” Emily thanked the captain
“I heard that you are one of the top ten right? Before you go to inner walls, you got to have some experience here first..”
“Ah...yes I am.. Actually , Petra too.. She is more skillful than I am..” Emily pointed at Petra which made the whole member stared at her
“Ahh really? I bet you both going to be a good military police unlike those bastards now haha”
Petra wanted to object but she decided not too. Besides, facing with a real titan for the first time could determine her decision for joining the scouting legion. She only learned titans from the academy. Fighting with fake titan models, that’s all. They said that real titan are scarier than anything they could imagine. She got herself lost in her thoughts.
It was getting late, but the weather was as calm as usual as if there was nothing bad happening. In contrast to that, the roads were getting even more packed with thousands of people heading north bringing everything they could. Shouting, ramblings, and cries could be heard. Now they see more soldiers that helped the evacuation process but that wasn’t their objective.
“IT’S THE TITANS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” A man shouted from top of his lungs
Everyone stopped their horse seeking for the titan across the horizon. They finally saw it. About 1 Km from their position right then, a titan around 15m was sighted on the wheat field wandering around. Not far from it, another shorter titan was runmaging through some small houses around the field. They could hear some screaming citizens that pleaded for help. Everyone was shocked at the sight. Not long after that, they saw the titan grabbing a person and then ate it mercilessly.
“I DON’T WANT TO DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE----!” it was that person last words before eaten
“What the hell.....so ....that...is...a...Titan.....?...it’s huge....” Chad began to quiver
“Captain...? Should we retreat back...? It’s dangerous the titan already reached here...” Micha retorted
“Emily, how far more from here to your hometown ?!” The captain tensed
“...a...err...about 5 Kilometer again from here... there is another way around from here..” Emily panicked
“But captain !!!” Micha objected
“Listen Soldiers. I won’t change the objective. Right now this young girl’s family is in danger and we have to make sure they are ok, If we were on the same situation as her won’t we need people to help us? Hmm?!” The captain sound more dependable.
“Alright..sir, but we need to go fast then return fast too!” Micha finally convinced
“I know”
Then all of them proceed to Emily’s hometown. Petra couldn’t give any comments at the team’s arguments earlier, she was too conflicted to think what should they do. One thing for sure, she sincerely wanted to help Emily and making sure to get her answer after facing with the titan. The reason for her mother’s death. She wanted to understand it. She wanted to be awaken to the harsh reality that this world she lived in is never been in peace at all. She needed to know.. Her face was tense all the time instead of scared like Emily and the other members. Emily wondered what was going on inside Petra’s mind. It was something she probably couldn’t understand at all.
As they getting closer to Emily’s hometown, more titans sighted, more screams, chaos and blood everywhere. They rode their horse in terror seeking only one objective first. They hated at the fact that they couldn’t help the citizens yet. They managed to hit the town from small roads to dodge from nearby titans. The number wasn’t that many yet, but they were sure that it could be worse by nightfall.
“MOM !!! DAAADDDD !!!!!!!!!” Emily shouted at the now empty town filled with blood scattered around.
“Stop shouting brat! You might attract em !!” Chad reminding her
“Oh right...sorry” She carefully sneaked into her house direction.
So far they had been playing hide and seek with the titans around the town. They didn’t dare to use the maneuver gear only to be spotted by the Titans. Emily entered her house with Petra while the other patrol on the outside.
“Sir.. I think there is barely any people in this small town, either killed or evacuate already.” Said Micha
“Oh shoot look! There is a child crying over there!” Derek pointed fingers at the sight
“shit...she is crying over her parent’s dead body there isn’t she....?” Chad replied
“That place is too open, it’s dangerous, we should help her!” Derek all of sudden ran across the road to the little girl direction
“Oi Derek !” The captain shouted.
The little girl keep crying over her mom’s dead body under the building ruins.
“Hey...you okay...? It’s not safe here, Let me carry you to somewhere else safer..” Derek asked the girl in hurry. They girl stopped her cry for a moment
“....uu...mom....she.....”
“...I know...but I’m sure she wants you to be okay...so let’s get out from here first....”
“..Sir..what..is...a titan...? The town people...keeps..shouting that word....” She was doing her best to talk between her wails.
“It’s a monster that we should not be closed with at all” Derek smiled at the girl
“ah...Is that one on the roof a titan....??” The girl pointed above his head.
Cold shiver ran from his temple as he began to look behind him. A titan crouching above the roof was staring at him as if he was some delicious food. No wonder he didn’t feel any grumbling ground since the titan climb the roof ?! In the matter of seconds, the titan suddenly jumped at their direction hitting all over the build across it.
Derek managed to dodge the fatal hit with the girl on his hug and started to run at his squad, but the Titan didn’t give up that easy as it began to chase after them. Derek carried the little girl running for his life. He cannot use his 3D gear at this state while holding on the child on his arms.
“OIIII DEREKKKK !!!!!!!!! HURRRY !!!!!!! GET INSIDE !!!!!!!” The others were shouting like mad at him attracting the other titans around them.
He was like 20m close to the meeting spot when the titan that chased him suddenly jumped over him and crashed its body right above Derek and that girl. Everyone were silenced.
“c...c...ap...tain.....” Chad called the captain who was just as shocked as the other two.
“....The titans.... they are coming here.....” Micha warned them
Emily and Petra finally ran to the entrance from the 2nd floor
“My family’s not here anymore, My mom purse couldn’t be found, I think they already evacuate them self right on tim-“ Emily stopped her saying when she saw such a gruesome sight in front of her house door. A titan was eating Derek’s and the little girl body at once like it was a delicious meal.
“Oh....that’s good to hear....then...” Micha replied to emily, not removing his gaze from the eating titan infront of them.
“...captain...what should we do...?” Petra whispered at their captain
“...Lets walk first...then lets see their reaction...” The captain made his decision
All of them left the site carefully, seemed like the titan ignore them. But it didn’t mean that they were safe, They remember that it was not only one titan on the abandoned town.
“Shit...shit...shit...captain, they are getting lot coming here...” Micha declared
Another titan noticed them rightaway as if it got some great instict and began to growl as if telling the others to come there.
“Shit..shit...shit !!!! They began to run !!!! Fuck this!! I’M OUT !!!” It was chad who use the 3DM gear to freed himself out from the town
“HEY CHAD WAIT !! tch...Let’s use the gear !!” The captain finally gave his order”
“Yes Sir!”
Ofcourse all them them wanted to escape quickly but without their horses it would be meaningless and they wouldn’t be able to retreat north.
“I’ll chase after Chad and getting the titans attention up front, you both girls ride the horses and bring em all outside the town, Micha will assist you!”
“I..WHAT SIR ?!” Micha objected
“Don’t let the trainee dissapointed, Micha, I trust you” The captain flew away with his gear leaving 3 of them behind.
“You heard the guy...Let’s move out”
“Yes sir..”
For couple meters they thought that they could play kite with the titans and keep em away from the horse, Petra and Emily raised their horse’s speed while Micha flew attracting the titans out of the way, but he realized that they came from everyway and their number increased. One of it suddenly slapped Emily’s horse as she was thrown far from Petra
“EMILY !!!!!!!!!!!” Petra shouted.
“Shit !!” Micha was about to head over to Emily who was knocked out at the sudden impact earlier, But another titan was ready to grip her, Micha tried to cut the titan’s nape from behind but he missed. And he stumbled at the Titan’s slippery skin to the ground. Petra flew by with tremendous speed and sliced the titan’s nape but failed also. But the titan was ready to fall down on Emily’s direction, luckyly, Micha was right on time to saved her as he pushed Emily’s body away, but it cost his body gripped by the titan
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!” Micha screamed for his life
Petra screamed on top of her lungs as she watched the titan devoured Micha’s body allover the place while She hold’s Emily on her arms bellow.
She killed one, but it cost another life...it wasn’t enough..So this is a titan...Her skin felt cold all of the sudden, Her body trembled so bad. She didn’t talk much this whole afternoon thinking what could she do when facing the titans. She was sure that she hit the right spot..but why..?...why?? She couldn’t take off her gaze from Micha’s body that were thorn apart. Blood splattered even painted her cheeks. Her legs felt numb, she didn’t have the energy to stand up anymore. More citizens who were left behind got eaten here and there. She wonder when will that thing regocnize their presence
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“...Petra....? What happened....?” Emily finally awaked
She couldn’t really reply her when she looked down at her friend. She wanted to cry but she couldn’t.
“..I can’t kill them...I’m not as skillfull as you said...I..can’t...!”
While Petra dealing with her shockness, Emily scanned the whole area around them realizing that more titans coming at them. The titan that devoured Micha’s body now finished its meal and now staring at them. It was literaly the closest titan near them now.
“Petra..if you managed to survive, please tell my parents that I’m sorry...” Emily closed her eyes again.
“no.....no..........NOO...!!” Petra screamed as loud as she can while squinting her eyes hard
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*CLANG*
The titan’s body suddenly fell down and vaporized right away. She began to open her eyes. The wings of freedom is the first thing she saw on the man’s jacket infront of her before gazing at his face.
“You Okay..?” The raven haired man gently asked her knowing that she was still in shock with her eyes widely opened and almost to cry at any moment however his face remained stoic infront of the girl.
“.....ah.. scouting le..gion...right..?” Petra quickly stood up but her legs failed her, but the man prevent her falling
“Carefull...”His arms around her waist, and their face was just couple of inch away. For a couple of seconds their eyes met for the first time as if time stopped right on that time.
She breathed heavily shoulder went ups and down. The man’s eyes staring at her deeply squinting his eyes then turned his gaze bellow before releasing her to stand up still.
“Is your friend...okay..?” He asked
“Ah...I think she’s not..her bleeding wont’t stop..All horses with the first aid kit ran away...Ah!”
She was about to continued her talking but a group of titan coming on their direction closer now.
“Stay still..” He suddenly stood up a shoot his maneuver gear and began to kill like 5 titans at once then finish killing every titans around them effortlessly before coming back at her. She was left in awe witnessing humanity’s strength against the titans with her own bare eyes. His precise movements and didn’t even missed the neck spot was unbelieveable.
He took off his scarf and began to rolled it around Emily’s head, Petra helped him.
“It’s not safe here, I’ll help you both get out from here, you carry her and I’ll secure the way. My horse also outside the town, didn’t get the chance to bring it here when there were many citizen i need to help here and didn’t realize that it’s far already..” Once he finished he began to stand up followed by Petra with Emily on her back
“Looks heavy, you sure you okay?” He asked her since emily was much taller than her. But he realized that he was just slightly taller than her.
“Ah..I’m fine..Sir...more importanly..Did you see any garrison soldier around the town...?” Petra asked him
“I’m sure the town is empty now..oh..i saw some garrisons bodies thoug-....”
Her body felt weak as if she almost fall, but she stood still with such a terror on her face
“No way...” Her voice cracked
“Sorry..didn’t know those were your friends...Look, you can mourn later about their death and you have to be strong and keep living, only that way is how you appreciate their sacrifices.”
I’ll make sure that you’ll get some protection once we got out the town but after that I can’t really accompany you to go north..”
“...What? You are going south..? Shiganshina ?!?!Alone?!” Her eyes widened
“...yes.....Yes...and ofcourse No, most of the others head straight to Shiganshina”
“Sir...you must be one of the best soldier....” She innocently flattered him which made him a bit nervous at shyness
“errr....maybe.....” He wasn’t sure how to react to that
“Are the scouting legions are all this good like you sir ?”
“well..Mostly...” He began to stepped away a bit
“Did you not regret it..?!” Her voice went higher leaving him shocked.
“Cut the crap, lets move out already!” He shouted at her leaving her in silence.
Couple seconds later tears began to fell out from her face. He panicked at the sight and worried if it was because he shouted at her.
“My bad...” He nervously told her
“No...it’s not about that....” She tried her best to smile on her cries, it was really strange
“What then , we got no time” He squinted his eyes
“.....Thankyou..for saving us....Sir...” She finally opened her warm hazel colored eyes glistening with her own tears and the afternoon suns. Her innocent gently looks somehow captivated him.
“Your welcome...Let’s move” He readied himself to launch his gear checking on their surrounding for more titans
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They both went out the town safely with the help of the man she just met that surprisingly came from the scouting legion. Soon Petra and Emily were transported by the garrison evacuation team and headed north to wall rose with the man’s request. She just realize that she hadn’t manage to ask for his name when they already split on their way. Last thing she saw was the Wings of Freedom on his back as she prays that he would be fine at Shiganshina and protect the walls with the other members.
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Emily recovered 2 days later when both of them now in the temporary shelter for wall maria’s refugees inside wall rose. It was chaos and packed with hungy people everyday. As a soldier they needed to assist the citizen to get enough food and hospitality. It was a hard week for everyone.
Wall Maria had fallen, the scouting legion was too late to arrive when the titan penetrated the wall way deeper and scattered everywhere leaving chaos and mayhem everywhere. Many death and grief marks that day as a day that humanity once again awakened at their weakness agaisnt the titan.
Even so, She also witness what a human can do agaisnt the titan, That man was a living proof that humanity can do so much more that that. As she decided to follow his track to join the scouting legion. Emily didn’t object her decision, yet she was happy for her, Knowing the harsh reality but Petra convinced her that it was what she wanted. It wasn’t about getting her mother’s revenge, but it’s for the world’s freedom itself. Emily chose the Military Police and decided to protect the wall peace as things getting more serious than ever before since the fall. Both of them support the life inside the wall on their own way.
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One night on the scouting legion headquarter..
“you are.....!”
They met again on the corridor after a whole week.She smiled widely at the raven haired man
“I hadn’t got the chance to introduce myself before Sir, My name is Petra Ral, I see that you survived Shiganshina...”
“Ah nice to meet you again.....yes..but..It was too late when I got there it was hell...I couldn’t do much..” He hold his banded arms
“.....you got injured too...are you on the way to the infirmary Sir..?”
“Yes.. by the way how is your friend..?”
“Emily? She is good now, and now in the MPs” Her face suddenly changed
“Wait...Petra Ral...oh...I heard you rank 5 on your batch ?”
“...how you know...?”
“Well Commander Shadis always keeps an eye for the top graduate if any one of them don’t choose the MPs, so I guess you are one of them..and that’s ..rare..But that’s great...”
She felt flustered and looked down immidiately
“No I’m not great at all...I couldn’t kill any titan before...i was a coward..!”
“Of course you were.. you were only a trainee that’s why you chose this place, to get stronger am I right?”
“No offense sir, but it’s not just about the power,training, and self actualization...!” She retorted with a hint of angry on her face
“What then...?” He stared at her with such a bored face making her nervous
“Because this world needs to be freed..that’s what my mom told me..She died outside wall maria long ago..seeking that freedom..” He was shocked at her unusual reply and went silent
“er...I’m sorry to shout at you like that Sir...I got carried away...”
“I agree with you.. Looking forward for your improvement soon..” His face changed into somewhat longing, She was strucked by that face he made.
“um..I’ll do my best...thankyou..! er....you should go now...I’m sorry for taking your time..Sir,,” She went nervous all of sudden
He began to walked passed her but stopped suddenly
“It’s Not ‘sir’, It’s Levi..” As he glance at her one more time
She was sure that her face was now bright pink, The wings of freedom on his back is the last thing she saw that night, but now she got the same symbol on her back too, After the tragedies and fought in argument with her father..somehow she felt like she made the right decision
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She trusted him so much that she worked so hard to improve her skills
The man who saved her life turns out to be the same man who in years later became her captain
Looking through AoT fanfic for any Armin/Eren stuff and I just realized...
I don't want High School AUs.
I don't want everyone to live.
I don't want coffee shops and college dorms and happy endings.
I want Titans and screaming and blood and death.
I want Armin giving speeches that could get him and Eren killed but that he has to make so they have a chance to live.
I want their fists and their anger and their protectiveness and their friendship and their pain.
I want Eren protecting Armin at all costs, standing over him, fighting down to the last drop of his blood because he can't let anyone hurt him.
I want Mikasa watching them when they sleep because she knows not all the other soldiers will respect them but she won't force them to be apart either.
I want Eren dreaming of Armin when he sleeps in a cellar or a cell.
I want Armin holding a knife in Eren's arm as he talks him into saving himself, feeling his pain but doing it because he has to, because he saves his friends.
I want Eren proving, over and over again, that Armin isn't useless and for Armin to keep Eren from hurting himself in his own zealotry.
