#aphres

[sarnai4]

Athena (walks past a room and stops. Peeks in): Ares?

Ares (sobs muffled by a pillow)

Athena: What's wrong?

Ares (still muffled): Aphrodite’s breaking up with me!

Athena: What? I thought you two were about to go to prom together.

Ares: I did too!

Athena: Did she say she wanted to see other people?

Ares (sniffling): No.

Athena: Did she say she wanted to break up?

Ares (shakes his head)

Athena:...help me out here.

Ares: I was about to ask her, then she said that she was going with this immortal who was really cool and witty who she's liked for a long time.

Athena:...

Ares: She even said his name started with an A!

Athena (opens mouth but nothing comes out)

Ares: I can't believe Apollo would do this to me.

Athena (Squints at him)

Ares (cries harder)

[eddiesheep]

The duality of "I can’t enjoy this new, Greek mythology inspired piece of media before I read/learn all about the original source material. I'd be a total poser if I went into this cool, new shiny thing without learning all about it's historical roots" and "I desperately need to see these two greek figures FUCK. HARD. NOW."

[sarnai4]

Ares: Winter challenge!

Athena: What is it this time?

Ares: Skating.

Athena: Interesting.

(They get on the ice)

Athena (holding onto the rails for dear immortality): Is this ice more slippery than usual?

Ares (does a twizzle): Seems fine to me.

Athena (finally lets go and immediately falls): Why are you so good at this?

Ares (executes a triple lutz jump over her): Aphrodite and I do couple's skating every winter.

Athena: This was a set up.

Ares: Nope. Just strategy. (Smiles smugly) Wanted to be like my big sis.

Athena: Then FALL.

[sarnai4]

(Because @roseofithaca just got this type of content stuck in my brain)

Young Odysseus (rowing a boat with Penelope on it)

Ares (in the trees): There you see her.

Athena (shooting him a warning look)

Ares: Sitting there across the way.

Athena: Stop that. This is foolish enough already. (Swats at him)

Ares (turns into a vulture to land on a nearby branch): She don't got a lot to say, but there's something about her.

Athena (picking up a rock): So help me, I will knock you down from there.

Ares (dodging said rock): And you don't know why, but you're dying to try.

Ares and Aphrodite (as a dove): You wanna kiss the girl!

Athena (to Aphrodite): Where did you even come from?!

Aphrodite: Love was in the air. I can't leave Ares doing all the heavy lifting.

(Odysseus and Penelope kiss, then Ares and Aphrodite do too)

Athena (facepalms so hard that she leaves a mark)

[sarnai4]

Ares: Merry Christmas. I got you the head from one of your champion's enemies.

Athena (takes gift bag): Aw, I appreciate that. I made you a hat.

Ares (accepts hat): Thanks! Aphrodite will love it when she gets back from Crete.

(On the immortal cell phones)

Ares: Merry Christmas, Babe! Athena wove me a hat.

Aphrodite: Merry Christmas, Love. That's sweet! Show me!

Ares: It's sorta small.

Aphrodite: That's okay! I still wanna see.

Ares: Okay, give me a sec. I'm going to ask Athena to take the picture.

Ares (sends photo)

(Image from GirlBoy on Pinterest)

[sarnai4]

(Ares and Aphrodite are sitting on the beach)

Aphrodite: The stars are so beautiful tonight.

Ares: They're nothing compared to the brightness of your eyes.

Aphrodite (smiles)

Athena: That's highly inaccurate.

Ares (frowning at her, then recovers): I'm glad we were able to come out here, Aphrodite.

Aphrodite: I am too. There's nowhere I'd rather be.

Athena: Really? Nowhere in the ENTIRE world? I feel like you could be more creative than that.

Aphrodite (huffing quietly, then shivers): Ooh, it's colder tonight than I expected.

Ares (putting an arm around her): I'll keep you warm.

Athena (pushes them apart)

Ares: WHY ARE YOU HERE?!!

Athena: I was asked to chaperone.

Ares: I KNOW that Dad didn't ask.

Athena: Hera did.

Ares:...

Athena: So, now we all have to suffer until this date ends.

Ares: I knew she hated me.

[sarnai4]

Athena: What are you going to wear for Halloween?

Ares (opens his mouth)

Athena: The blood of your enemies doesn't count.

Ares: Let me get back to you on that.

Aphrodite: I'm not decided yet either, but I know I'll be going as someone sexy.

Ares: So, yourself?

Aphrodite (giggles)

Athena (gags)

Aphrodite: You know what, we should go in a couple's costume.

Ares: Yeah! That could be fun.

Aphrodite: Mama and Papa Bear!

Ares: Warrior lovers!

Aphrodite: Partners in crime and life!

Ares: Newlywed soldiers!

(Ares and Aphrodite start kissing while still listing off ideas)

Athena: I regret everything leading up to this moment.

[sarnai4]

Athena: You’re scared someone will ask out Ares before you?

Aphrodite: Yes

Athena: I’m 99.9% sure you don’t have to worry about that

Aphrodite: Why? He’s amazing

-5 minutes later-

Eos: So… Do you have any plans later?

Ares: Uh-

Athena: Holy fuck. The 0.1%

🤣🤣🤣Dang it, Eos! Aphrodite reserved Ares. Didn't you get the memo?