#aplang16unmarked

[bri-the-good-blog]

there’s no UNmarked woMAN

When I thought about my stance on Tannen’s “There is No Unmarked Woman” the part that resonated with me the most is that we only look/judge what women wear, and it’s the girls who are doing it to each other. Before I get into it, I think most of us women could say that we don’t mark other women intentionally, it just happens. 

With prom season approaching, every girl wants to make sure that no girl has the same dress as her. Fortunately, there’s thousands of prom dress styles available, so the chances of a girl wearing the same dress are pretty slim. However, when I think about last years prom, I remember sitting at my table looking at every girl’s dress to see the individuality of each dress, the uniqueness, and the way that she decided to style it. Did I look at their dates? HELL no. All the guys looked the same to me. Given, some matched better than others, but it was the same old tuxedo/suit that every other guy in the room had rented/bought. The first thing that I got home was tell my mom about all the other girls dresses. It wasn’t until the next morning that I told her how my night was. For the next several weeks, all that flooded my social medias were prom pictures, and those were all that I cared about looking at, even though I had seen them weeks before. 

At this years prom, it’ll probably be tempting to not walk up to Edu Usoro and tell her that she looks beautiful (as always) in her dress, but I don’t want to mark her, even though she’s already marked. Maybe this year, I’ll tell her that she looks strong and powerful instead.

[the-meggsterr]

The fact that no woman can be unmarked, but a man can really frustrates me. There are plenty of different markers and no matter what women do, it will speak volumes about them. It’s something that appears all the time and there are countless posts on tumblr talking about this. The most effective argument about marking that I’ve seen is the biological from the Tannen piece. She really drove her point home with that. One of the most effective ones I’ve seen on Tumblr or the Internet in general is about the concept of virginity and how people, but mostly girls are judged heavily based on what choice they make. You can be marked by more than just the clothes you wear or how you choose to present yourself, it can also be reflected in how you spend your time. There is no default lifestyle for women that won’t be mocked. You could be a stay at home mom and be called lazy and told to work, but if you do go work then you should “get back in the kitchen” so there is no real way to win. Tannen put a name to things that I have seen and experienced. 

[akoaysi-cathy-blog]

I know I, for one, don’t mind being a marked woman. In class, being marked has always been seen as bad, which I get. Being marked generally means someone has to try harder in order to get a point across. But, so far that term has only really been attached to fashion and how women have to try harder with their fashion than men. However, the term marked “refers to the way language alters the base meaning of a word by adding a linguistic particle that has no meaning on its own.” I thought that this could just mean women, who is the more marked gender of the two, have more special qualities and are just more willing to convey it out to people. 

Now for a counter someone could point out the who FOX newscaster thing where all the women newscasters are all blonde and pretty much the same woman. That, I think, is a rhetorical move FOX news chose to make. They know who their audience, which isn’t everyone, but instead old creepy conservative white men. They would not appreciate any person of color, male or female, to tell them the news or else it would just be seen, in their eyes, to be the minorities coming up and stealing all the job opportunities. When a white man tells the news it’s totally normal. But when a white blonde woman comes on the screen it’s, creepily, eye candy and what brings the audience back. 

Outside of the newscaster deal, though, I don’t mind being marked because of how I look. I think if I look good while doing a man’s job there should be no shame in that. I look good. It might sound a bit conceded but it takes a bit more skill to look decent and work hard at the same time. It makes it a bit more impressive. I would take pride in that. If men aren’t willing to find clothes and different styles that convey who they are and what their personality is then they can fit into the cookie cutter mold of what men should be and not be super special, fine by me.

[maya11499-blog]

Unmarked

I do believe all women are marked in our society and I don’t think there is anyway around it. Well there is a way...but it is nearly impossible. To unmark women you would have to change the thinking and mindsets of all humans. It’s hard to do because we are caught judging and labeling people unintentionally. After our lesson I tried to reduce the number of times I marked someone, but I found myself marking people more often then I thought. It became inevitable, I am going to mark people and there is no way around it. And men are starting to show markings too. From tattoos, haircuts, eyebrow appointments and pedicures, guys are starting to mark themselves like women do. Our society has already began marking guys. I believe there is no way around this problem, marking is inevitable, so you might as well drag guys into the mix. It sounds bad, but that’s how our society has worked up until now and women shouldn’t be the only ones being marked. 

[2stepsfar-blog]

Start Marking Men

It’s not impossible to give women the option to be unmarked some time in the distant future. But it would take years and years of a specific type of teaching from not only parents, but other adult mentors in the world as well. Despite this, I am pretty sure it would just be easier to start marking men constantly. It sounds kind of rude, but if this is going to be an argument about what is and isn’t fair, than it seems that marking men is what we’ll have to do. 

[keishinator-blog]

Marking = Judging

Saying someone is marked is another way of saying they have/are being judged by others.  Following that statement, I would agree that all women are marked [judged] mostly for what they wear/appearance.  People go around saying ‘don’t judge a book by its cover’, but let’s be honest.  Everyone judges everyone for their appearance.  For example, people dress really nice for interviews because that’s the employer’s very first impression of that person.  Women expect not to be judged, but they’re the ones doing most of the judging.  From that, men base their judgement off that of women.  I’m not saying that men are unmarked, but the reason men are able to be ‘less’ marked is that they don’t judge each other since they don’t care as much as women do about appearances.  In that meaning, we are not the ones that mark ourselves, but others around us who do so.  So even if it’s not said out loud, people are silently marking others.  

[jarrettbuikema-blog]

There is no Unmarked Person

I talked to my parents about why my mother kept her last name when they got hitched. They replied that taking the last name meant possession and they wanted to have a relationship based on love and understanding. Among other things they also mentioned that my grandfather didn't walk my mother down the aisle because of how it signifies her being a possession that was passed on.

According to Tannen she is still marked because of her attitude towards the whole last name business even though it was a mutual agreement between my parents. 

My first glance at “There is no Unmarked Woman” I shrugged it off not really considering how many signals women send when they do literally anything. Is it possible that we can perceive men the same way due to their actions, of course we can, but we don’t acknowledge them because “that’s just their personality” or “it’s just what they do.” Most people aren't trying to send these messages, but we can never change other peoples perception of our actions. We are all marked whether we’re trying or not and whether we like it or not.

[ecoonan-blog]

There is no unmarked woman

Women constantly have to prove themselves to be worthy, when men can just exist. Women constantly have to think about how their clothing and makeup choices will be “understood” by their peers, when men can just dress how they want. There are less “standards” for men than there are for women, but there is no “standard” woman like there is a “standard” man. Women have to follow a long list of rules, when men can just live. Women have to act like ladies, which includes a long list of outdated social etiquette, when men are just told they have to be “gentlemanly”, which basically includes opening doors. When women decide to break away from this, they are considered rebels. When men decide to not open a door, they’re just considered rude. Now, I will never understand what it’s like to be a man. Never. So maybe there’s more that I’m missing to their story, but I sure as hell know that they will never understand the social pressures and regimen that come with being a woman.