MLZ SiM: episode 3: Stubborn as a mule
Evening gents, ladies and those yet undefined, tonight we’ll be visiting the magical land of Equestria to help you battle back the beasties that seek your delicious man flesh in the future we pray never comes, but we’re preparing for regardless.On the menu tonight is the fourth episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (AppleBuck Season).
So we start off with a very lion king-esque “everything the light touches” moment between AppleJack and her brother Apple Apple ... did I mention apples? So, AJ says she can harvest an entire orchard by herself, brother apple politely tells her why that’s a euphemism for manure and AppleJack decides to hit Big Macintosh right in the organs which were somehow previously injured ... I like to think it happened because he’s secretly Bathorse! Protector of Ponyville. So Big Mac wanders off to his secret batmane cave to leave AppleJack to ponder her completely not foreshadowing decision. Well ... this is boring so f-WAIT! Cue distraction by way of stampede. BY THE GODS! It’s heading straight for Ponyville ... what do!?! For the love of Celestia, what doooooo! Surely this is a job for Batmane ... wait, no. Tis Apple Hat to the rescue. The town saved, work pony and her trusty steed/dog Winona return to their simple alter egos as fruit farmers. The townsfolk eagerly put on a celebration for AppleJack for saving their butts because apparently nopony thought to head inside after the ground started rumbling and Rainbow Dash yelled “stampede” ... soooo AJ rocks up looking dishevelled, clumsily bumping into ponies, is easily distracted and talks to inanimate objects.
"Whaddya mean "Pleashe shtep out of the cart?" Ah'm totally drive to fine"
So she drags her shiny off while the other mane six consider another intervention, Twilight, as the most subtle of the group, decides to bring it up with AppleJack ... by yelling at her and using witchcraft to teleport instead of walking a few metres. AppleJack tells her she’s fine before getting back to “bucking” apples. So after a few days of going on a bender, kissing the ground, catapulting Rainbow Dash into a tree, giving at least half the population of Ponyville food poisoning and inundating the local hospital, causing probably the cutest most destructive stampede the little town has ever seen, Apple Hat finally concedes that she might finally need a little help. In a brief glimpse of sobriety she decides to get the farm up and running again so she can feed her starving dirt farming family, lesson learnt, everyone has a happy ending ... they’ll have to leave the murderous feelings for her liver for another episode because, wouldn’t you know it ... we’re out of time. The moral of the story being, “don’t be a stubborn arse and accept help when it’s offered” before all the ponies take some “apple juice” from orange pony’s stash before walking off into the sunset. CUE THE CREDITS! WE’RE ALMOST DONE!
To celebrate her triumph of not drinking for a full 6 hours AJ broke out the good "juice"
There are going to be situations that will crop up from pre-zombie days where you assume that you can handle everything on your own and in the days before the zombie hoards that might have been true, but there’s one slight difference between then and now ... mostly the reanimated walky things lumbering around that say they want a hug and then rip into your delicious neck meat. Fool me once ... shame on you. Fool me twice, I’m probably a god who is immune to the infection so this is what I do for shits and giggles. The point I’m trying to make is the situation has changed, things can’t be taken for granted anymore. You have a community of hands, eyes and elbows all working toward the same goal of not dying a horrible, horrible death and sadly respawn technology doesn’t exist yet, so use whatever and whoever you have at your disposal for every goal; whether it be erecting a fence or picking undead flowers for your sweetie; don’t be a stubborn bastard and go it alone. Plus the whole working together thing really builds camaraderie, nothing says team building like fleeing from a horde of zany undead things ... just like a family would *sighs contently*
Undead flowers ... totally a thing now
Pony pics from the mlp.wikia.com page, undead flowers belongs to that one and only MaryDoodles