panther-walls replied to your post
Hang in there, hang in there, you have us to talk to, it’ll be over soon and then you can come back and talk to us here, we’ll support you. She’s wrong and we love you.
fluffixation replied to your post
All my hugs and love and positivity to you.
i-believe-in-john-watson replied to your post
Hon! Let’s calm down and breath together. You’ll be fine. I imagine you’ve been through it before, right? And you did just fine then… Try to drink some water from the bobbin, and breath. God, I don’t know what to say, I want to be give you a hug.
goddessdster replied to your post
Don’t apologize. You’re very brave to let yourself express all of this. And good on you for standing up for yourself.
hedgehogjawn replied to your post
-Hug- Deep breaths, hun. I don’t want to give you false hope with generalizations and false reassurances, but I would like you to tale a few deep breaths with me and calm down. Then you’ll be able to face everything easier.
applepietree replied to your post
Just take a deep breath. The job hunt is really hard, I’m going through it now, as well and I totally get where you’re coming from. Just know that you aren’t alone! I had a very stressful moment earlier this week about the job hunt. :) You can do it!
akimboandaskew replied to your post: i was talking about making a list taking...
No worries! Just breathe for now and focus on calming down. Then you can eat (or walk away!) and later, figure out a way to make her understand your limits. Getting a job is fucking hard and 2 freelance gigs is a GREAT thing. Congrats on that!!!
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You guys...
Thank you. Thank you. Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou. For the reassurance and the hugs and the reminders to breathe and just taking time out and being there and just...letting me know I wasn't alone, that I'm not alone. God, that sounds pathetically needy, but thank you...this will teach me not to bring my anxiety medication with me everywhere...
I'm home. I'm breathing. I'm...still shaking a little. Eating dinner was embarrassing. I've gotten anxiety attacks plenty of times before, hence knowing when one is coming on, but never in such a public place with no means of escape, and I've never had to try to pull myself together so quickly. But I'm breathing, and I'm home, and I'm staying away from my mother as much as I can. I thought things were getting a little better and then...this...I know it's getting overwhelmed by small things, but I'm trying. I'm not being lazy, however much it may seem to her, I'm not /not/ trying...what I'm doing is trying my hardest to stay afloat, to tread water...I was proud that maybe, finally, maybe I was in the process of slowly swimming to shore...
Apparently trying to explain everything logically to my mother doesn't work...and apparently she doesn't think I mean it when I say I know my limits. I don't know what else to do. I know I'm not successful, as successful as she wants, I know I'm not moving forward in my field or at all, I know small things are huge to me and that I'm useless when I'm like this...I just don't know what else to do other than keep my head above water right now...is it such a bad thing?? For me to focus just on that? When I should be doing so much more? When I should be so much more?
