childhood
(Age: 8)
Jaune: hey may, want to play some games?
May: only if it’s first person shooter~.
Jaune: may, we got talked about this. “No violence until you’re 13!” As our parents. Remember last time we sneaked in game time.
may: it wasn’t that bad.
Jaune: you grabbed your dad’s hunting rifle and shot someone in the foot. Luckily it was rubber, but we still got our tushes whooped
May: ……..yeah that’s my bad.
————
(age 13)
Narration: fun non-fact, they were born on the same day at the same time. They just turn thirteen this morning. Both families wanted to surprise them in their bedroom(sleepover situation) but when they got there…….
Arc/Zedong family: happy birthday you tw-?!
may: (sleeping on top of Jaune with arms cradling his head)
Jaune: (sleeping beneath May with arms wrapped around her waist and shoulders)
narration: both families are stun-locked by the sight of the two. They then to get their alarm, a gong.
(WAMM! GOOONNGGG!)
JM: AH! (Wakes up instantly)
Jaune: agh….why the gong…?
May: mmm…who…that…?
mama arc: well, I wasn’t expecting grandkids so soon.
Jaune: what do you mean mom? (Looks at May then at mom) mom— come on, we’re just friends!
saphron: friends are that close to eachother?
JM: (they look at each other and then back at their families) yeah and?
————
(age: 17)
narration: this takes place in the midterms where all teams from different kingdoms gather for the vytal festival. Team leader Jaune admires them then spots one particular team, more specifically the only female in their team…..
Jaune: May! (Hugs her as she hugs him)
May: Jaune! It’s good to see again. (Pulls his head down to her level and whispers) ‘why the hell are you at beacon? You said vacuo was going to be your go-to!’
Jaune: (whispers to her) I’m sorry! The flight plan got rerouted and I didn’t have enough to go to vacuo so I stayed here.
Pyrrha: hey Jaune, you know who she is?
Jaune: ah yes, this is my childhood friend, may zedong!
May: (clings to his arm and waves) hello…
Nora: heya!
Ren: …….. (waves in silence)
RWBY: hello! (In their own way)
Yang: you sure your just childhood friends?(notices may clinging to his arm)
Jaune: oh for the love of-, we’re just friends from childhood nothing more nothing less.
May: hey Jaune, you know where the showers are? The AC was broken from where I was sitting and I need to get this sweat off of me.
Jaune: oh yeah! I was about to head that way too. Been training after the teams got here. We’ll see you guys later!
from the distance they could hear their chatter. J: “You know it’s been cramped since we were little, glad theirs room now. I wonder how other people shower?” M: “probably by taking turns. So, still the same deal?” J: you wash my back, I wash yours.”
_NPRRWBY: …………..(stun-locked)
Blake: wait so- what- do they- but their-?!
Nora: (puts hand on Blake’s shoulder) we’re all confused.
————
(age: 19)
narration: two years into their student life, it’s again, the vytal festival. This time vacuo is hosting(I have no clue if kingdoms host a vytal festival each year but I’m going for it.). Teams start arriving by the bullhead, teams from vale are, RWBY and JNPR.
Nora: ah vacuo, the kingdom of sands and storm.
Yang: luckily I wore my summer outfit! Now Jaune~?
Jaune: (wears black shorts, black breathable boots, no shirt, a orange vest, and blank colored fingerless gloves) yes yang?
Yang: trying to impress your girlfriend?
Instead of giving a straight answer, he instead pulls a desert eagle and shoots at yang’s feet, making her stumble with how quick he drew his gun.
Jaune: I swear yang, you never learn your lesson. I could handle it at beacon, but since we’re here, you got to tone done the teasing, have respect while your here please?
Just then something crashes into his face, a chest, a tight compacted chest.
Jaune: May, was it necessary to jump scare me chest first?
May: yes…yes it was.
Jaune: (picks her up out of his face and into his arm’s bridal style) glad to see you also missed me.
May: (arms around his neck, nuzzling him) let’s head to my room, I need to show you something~.
Jaune: sure let’s go! See you guys later, peace!
_NPRRWBY: ……….
Weiss: no- no I refuse- that’s- I mean it’s- they can not- I can’t believe it?! How?!
————
(age: 21)
narration: it is night time and teams BRNZ, RWBY, SSSN, CVFY, JNPR, etc, are celebrating their graduation. Now it’s the next day, the aftermath. Everyone’s blacked out and getting sober but two people are missing, the two childhood friends. They tried to find their whereabouts and when they do……
Nora: (bursts through the door) Fearless leader! Wake up-?!
In the corner of their eyes they see Jaune and May straddling each other……naked.
everyone present: ……….
Pyrrha: (tired and hungover, she brings out her Milo and akoúo and slams them together like a bell and a stick) wake up!
JM: AH! Agh~~, again with the bell bolting, why?!
Yang: because quite frankly all of us have been tired of your little “childhood friends” act. Nora here is actually seething with anger she’s talking into third person!
Nora: Nora’s angry~! Nora will use you as nora’s plaything!
Jaune: I don’t get what’s so hard about seeing us as just childhood friends.
Ruby: (looking up to avoid the scene in front of her) how about for starters, YOUR SLEEPING TOGETHER BUTT-NAKED!
Blake: (pinching her nose) And as a Faunus, I can smell the s## coming off of you both and this room!
Weiss: what’s not to think about your relationship?!
JM: (looks at eathother then back at them) childhood friends!
Jaune: what’s so hard about that?!
May: forget it Jaune they won’t understand. But anyway…..care for round two, bastard~?
Jaune: Oh bring it on you bitch. Alright, everyone out, NOW! (Shoves them all out of their room and slams the door locking it in the progress)
everyone present: ……….dear god, they have no personal space…..FUC-?!
————
(age: 30)
narration: 9 years later, they now have two kids, ones adopted and the other is biological.
Yang: unbelievable, they had Selina at 25 then adopted Felix at 29 when he was only two, and they’re still just childhood friends!
Blake: I would have believed them to be friends with benefits, but even then that can’t be right!
Ruby: maybe they’re secretly married since age 18 and they were just doping us from the get-go!
Nora: hey maybe you’re right! But what about them always being marred from birth, childhood friends was just a cover story for who they truly are. Maybe they been secretly fucking us over since the very beginning-?!
Nora/Yang: and have been secretly f###### since age-?!
Weiss/Ren: (knocks the daylight out of them)enough with the crazy theories!
Pyrrha: (banging her head against her shield because of this childhood friends bull####)
————
(age: 45)
narration: 15 years later, their kid Selina now has a daughter. I’m not giving any dialogues this is all you get.
————
(age: 80)
narration: 35 years later, May and Jaune are sitting by vacuo’s coast line on a blanket with two glasses of champagne. The two of them slow lean into each other and kiss.
May: that was my first kiss…
Jaune: did it feel nice?
May: yes~.
And in the background, their friends are screaming their lungs out after realizing this was their first kiss in…60 YEARS!
————
to death they were still childhood friends……….which pissed off theirs.
~~~~~~~
this skit of bull was based on this video short
