#nora valkyrie

[howlingday]

Bleiss: I never figured you to be such a carnivore...

Bluby: I love lots of meats. (Tears steak) Beef, pork, chicken, deer-

Bleiss: Whoa, whoa, hold up-

Bleiss: That girl literally had an extra large pizza with four kinds of meat, ate it all by herself, and is now eating cake, too?!

Nora:

Bleiss/Bluby: (Thinking) Mistrali girls are scary...

[howlingday]

Jaune: Oscar, keep us steady. Let us know if you're taking us out of autopilot.

Oscar: You got it, Jaune.

Jaune: Ren, you're on comms. Nora, munitions. DON'T use the radio for sexting.

Ren: It was one time.

Nora: I promise that I will try to try.

Jaune: Good. This motion sickness medicine should hold for the rest of the trip.

???: Does that mean we can't land, Uncle?

Jaune: Not unless it's an emergency.

Jaune: ...

Jaune: UNCLE?!

Adrian: (Stumbles out of crate to bathroom, Retching sounds)

Nora: Aw~! He's just like you~!

Jaune: -_-

[juanarc-thethird]

I'm not him!!!

At the library

Jaune: *Doing his homework*

*A book hits him on the head!*

Jaune: Aaah! What the fuck?!

Nora: Didn't you feel the book flying towards you?

Jaune: *Angry* For the fortieth time. NO! Stop throwing things at me!!

Nora: Not until you reveal the truth! *runs away to find more stuff*

Meanwhile, at a table some distance away. Pyrrha, Ruby, and Yang are watching.

Ruby: Hey Pyrrha, why is Nora throwing things at Jaune?

Pyrrha: Nora thinks Jaune is Spider-Man.

Ruby: Why?

Pyrrha: Well...

Yang: Poor, nerdy, socially awkward, tells bad jokes in stressful moments, irresponsible in managing his daily life, and is so clumsy it's ridiculous it almost seems like a lie.

Pyrrha: Yang!

Yang: Am I wrong?

Ruby: Ooooh, it makes sense.

Yang: But we all know he's not Spider-Man. I mean, Jaune, Vale's greatest superhero? HA!

Pyrrha: That's rude.

Back to Jaune

Jaune: Damn it Nora! *He goes back to his notebook and opens it to the last pages; where you can see designs of a new device with a spider logo.* (How the hell am I supposed to work on my new gadget with her interrupting me?) *Suddenly his spider-sense alerts him* (Fuck , is her again)

A book hits him on the head again.

Jaune: Stop it!!

Nora: Never!!!

------------------- Maybe or maybe not Ill do a spider-man jaune thing

[howlingday]

Nora: Hold up- I need to use the ATM machine.

Jaune: Actually, the "m" stands for-

Nora: Aw, nuts! I forgot my personal PIN number! (Sighs) SMH my head... Hang on, I gotta go to my bank. BRB right back ASAP as possible.

Nora: ...Jaune?

Jaune: (Down and out)

Nora: Aw, man. RIP in peace, Jaune. I'll get you some chai tea and naan bread when you get better.

[howlingday]

Nora: I attempt to eat Ruby.

Nora: (Rolls D20, NAT 20)

Jaune: ...Your attempt was an overwhelming success. Ruby, hand over your character piece.

Ruby:

[howlingday]

Nora: Jaune's animal trait being his penis is never brought up again in my fic. There're two possible explanations for why this is.

Nora: The first is that I completely forgot about it and just wrote him having a normal big penis instead.

Nora: The second one, though, is that after he changed back from his Rusted Knight form, it was actually a magical transformation that made him completely human because the Blacksmith believed him to be too powerful as a Faunus, upsetting the balance established by the Brother Gods when they arrived in Remnant.

Nora: GUESS WHICH EXPLANATION I LIKE MORE~.

[howlingday]

Nora: The message here couldn't be any clearer: Pyrrha can't get out of this until she gets her daily dose of domestic abuse-

Ren: ?!

Nora: I- I mean Maiden training! What'd I say? Nothing, and you can't prove it! RWBY is a light-hearted and funny cartoon dealing in highly abstract and stylized urban fantasy situations, and nothing about it would ever evoke gritty realities experienced every day by real life abuse victims.

Nora: (Sighs) Now, let's watch a thirty-something-year-old woman beat the daylights out of her adopted sister slash biological daughter.

[howlingday]

Ilia: Almost got it and... Yes~! We've got the good stuff.

Ren: What good stuff?

Ilia: AUGH! YOU... are very quiet for someone wearing so tall.

Nora: He said WHAT good stuff?

Sienna: The exact kind of good stuff the White Fang needs, Ms. Valkyrie. Really, did you think this operation was only about freeing Faunus slaves and forging greater relations between the Old Fang and your all-human team? No, no; destroying the SDC's slave camp is simply the cake with Ilia's find as the most delectable cherry on top~.

Ilia: It's cloning experiment notes. The scientists in Atlas working for Jacques Schnee found a way to create a living, breathing clone without higher brain function. They were planning to create slaves to replace their own slave force, likely to drive the Faunus out of Atlas.

Sienna: Now that we've found the notes, we'll be taking them for ourselves~.

Jaune: You mean stealing it.

Sienna: Our theft is in no way equal in evil to the theft of Faunus DNA that the SDC has been collecting for years, no doubt without their consent. A man with cow traits to lift heavier stones, a woman with cat traits to make them an effective marksman, or a person with fish traits to allow them to maneuver and operate underwater. And that's only if they limited themselves to one Faunus trait.

Sienna: Jacques Schnee wants to create Faunus slaves. We want to create Faunus soldiers. Our question, Team JNPR, is what do you want?

Jaune: ...

Nora: ...

Ren: ...

Jaune: We want in.