THEY’RE HESITANT. despite it all, despite the fact that their father is gone, they still feel his lingering presence. they can hear him in their head, chastising every decision they make - especially when it comes to food. they spend a little too long staring at the sandwich, mind working overtime to figure out what to do. they haven’t eaten in a while, it might’ve even been more than a day, and they can feel a gentle pang of hunger in their stomach. slowly, nervously, they reach out for the sandwich, gentle tremble to their hand. it would be a long time before they overcame their father’s torment, a long time before they move past the horrors he’d inflicted on them. they stare at the food in their hand, silent as they inspect it, looking at it like it could hurt them. “ ’s there sugar in this? ” they know they shouldn’t care, that they should be able to eat whatever they want without practically having a panic attack, but it’s not that simple. it never will be. “ no, i’s fine. i can do it. ” they’re afraid, but they know that eventually they need to eat. and one sandwich won’t do anything that drastic. but still their father’s voice is in their head, pushing them towards the unhealthy option, making them afraid. “ i can eat. i—i can eat whatever i want. ”