the urge to shake her head, say ‘no’ & make him see her point of view is something she can barely resist. but that would make her a hypocrite, & she felt she already had a bad enough reputation in his eyes as it was ( & she knows he doesn’t see that of her, that he never has seen her as a bad person, but she sees it of herself ). the war was far from over, & most days it felt as if it had just begun.
❛ don’t -- ❜ flow stops after only a word, expression muted. she’s visibly distressed, thinking deeply, but she stops abruptly & pushes off the surface she had been resting on. push the emotions down, pack them up & hide them away. deal with them later. ❛ don’t think like that, kaidan. if you’re not really happy, you are genuinely miserable. how about real happiness over all else? ❜ her smile is broken. mars knows he can see through it -- she was never particularly good at shielding her feelings. in fact, she was quite sensitive -- but despite that, she never willingly chose to let it break her, not in front of her crew. everyone knew, but it went unspoken -- the commander cares more about others than she ever has of herself.
