hi~ first off i love your works, second could you maybe do a RFA+Saeran+Vanderwood scenario where they find out that MC is depressed/self harms? I’m going through stuff and I’d like to imagine what they would do to help me feel better.. Again love your stuff!
Thank you so much for your kind words! I’m happy to hear you love my writing! ^^
I want you to know that I’m always here if you need to talk to someone! Sometimes talking to someone you don’t know well can help a lot. You’re not alone, never forget that!
Masterlist || Ko-fi
RFA + Saeran and Vanderwood reacting to an MC who is depressed/self-harms
As the title suggests, this post will address sensitive subjects, so read at your own discretion.
Hyun Ryu // Zen
“Now you know.” You voice holds strength you never knew you could muster, but deep inside you feel your soul crumbling to dust as you watch his eyes widen at the sight of the deep scars on your skin.
He takes a step towards you, but stops, afraid his touch and comfort might not be welcome right now. Still, seeing him like this, so different from the always smiling and outgoing Zen, tugs at your heartstrings.
“You did this. You did this to him. Look at how miserable you made him feel!” The voice at the back of your head gets stronger, feeding on the memories of your past that start flooding your mind. Telling the truth frees you. That’s something you’ve heard too many times, but why do you still feel trapped in the cage of your own struggles?
“Ah, I knew it. I’m sorry. The scars… I shouldn’t have told you. I shouldn’t have showed you. You must think I’m ugly, in and out.“ Knees starting to buckle, voice breaking, you gather all your strength just to keep yourself from falling into the dark pit of despair dug by your own mind as you desperately try to button up your shirt.
“That’s not it!” His voice is loud as he finally closes the distance between you two. His hands grab yours, fingers frantically moving on your skin to draw intangible figures. “That’s not it at all, MC! I love you… I love you so much and I think you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met!”
His fingers move up your arms and then onto your belly to caress your scars, his gentle touch leaving a faint, soothing trail in its wake. “I’m here for you. Always have and always will.” As his arms wrap tightly around your body, you let yourself surrender to his light.
Yoosung
“Please… Just leave me alone.” Your desperate plea is met with a deafening silence broken only by Yoosung’s sharp inhales. “I just don’t want you to see me like this. Please… Just go.”
You feel weak. Too weak to move from your curled up position on the bed. Too weak to argue. Too weak to let tears relieve your pain. Too weak and indifferent to everything around you.
You hear him move, his steps hasty as he heads towards the door, leaving you all alone. Your mind wanders to dark places, making you feel even emptier and you wonder if that’s even possible in the first place.
The mattress dips under his weight and a moment later you feel his slender arms around you, pulling you close to his chest. “No!” His voice sounds firm and resolute, even though you feel his lips trembling against the back of your neck. “I don’t want to leave, MC! I… I might not know exactly what you’ve gone through, I might not know the pain you’ve experienced…”
As he lets his tears flow freely, burning your skin as soon as they make contact with it, you feel your own starting to prick your eyes. “But I want to understand! I want to be with you! I care for you and I want to help you! Please, let me be here for you!”
His arms tighten around your waist, making you feel the sobs racking his body in their full strength. As tears start flowing down your cheeks, their bitter taste familiar on your lips, you uncurl your fingers and slowly move your hands to meet his. For the first time in a while, you don’t feel alone.
Jaehee
“I can’t answer the phone right now. Leave a message and I’ll call you later! Teehee!” Your voice is cheerful as it sends Jaehee to your voicemail for the umpteenth time today. With a sharp sigh, she quickens her pace as she makes her way through the crowd. With some good luck, she’ll be at your place in less than half an hour.
You can’t get up. And what’s the point, really? There’s nothing you feel like doing, nothing that would make you or anyone else smile. Nothing you’re good at. You’d at least get to the kitchen and grab something to eat, but lately your appetite has all but been gone. Your eyelids grow heavy as you slowly turn to your side. At least no one judges me in my sleep, you think to yourself as you drift off to slumber.
Jaehee’s always been someone who plans ahead, but for the first time in her life she feels such immense gratitude for her foresight. Had she not made you give her the spare key to your place, she would probably have waited days for you to open the door. With no trouble getting the key in the look, even with her hands shaking nervously, she bursts into your apartment.
“MC?” Hesitantly, you open your eyes. As they slowly adjust to the light of the day, you feel someone’s warm hand caressing your cheek. Smiling tenderly, a familiar face is looking at you with watery eyes. “… Jae..hee?”
With a relieved sigh, she moves her free hand to wipe away the telltale signs of her worries that have started to spill from her eyes. “I… I was so afraid something might have happened to you. “
In a fit of overwhelming guilt, you turn your head to the side, refusing to meet her gaze. “MC, I’ve known you for a while now. I was struck by your easygoing personality and great kindness, but I can tell you haven’t been the same lately.”
She pauses for a second to take a deep breath in and adjust her position on your bed. As her hand resumes its gentle caresses on your cheek, she continues. “I want you to know I’ll be there for you no matter what. I care about you, MC. Unconditionally.”
Jumin
“Do you not like it, love?” His gift, a beautiful black dress, fitted and sleeveless, lies sprawled on the bed, mocking you. Unfortunately, you don’t find the twisted sense of humor of some simple fabric funny, so you turn around to face Jumin, unknowingly standing in the midst of the ghosts of your past.
Taking a deep breath in, you let your mind calm down a bit before you give him an answer. “It’s a beautiful dress, Jumin… But I’m not gonna wear it. I’m sorry.” He gives you a quick nod, but you catch a hint of sadness crossing his face before ultimately disappearing into nothingness, covered up by his composure. “I understand.” His movements are controlled as he folds the dress, the corners of his lips curving up into a slightly forced smile.
“No. You deserve to know exactly why I don’t want to wear it.” With another deep breath, you start rolling up the sleeves of your shirt, revealing the thick scars on your forearms. The dress falls out of Jumin’s hands as his mind processes the sight in front of him, his eyes wide.
“We’ve been dating for a while and… and you should know about this. I went through something really, really horrible.. and…and that was the only way I could cope with it…” Your voice starts breaking as memories of your recent past flood your vision, making you feel the heavy weight of pain and guilt once again.
Strong arms wrap around you tightly, grounding you to the present moment. “It’s okay, love. I understand.” He pulls away to cup your cheeks, gaze focused on your eyes. “You are strong, my love, but you don’t have to handle this on your own. I want to help you, if you’ll allow me to. Nothing matters more to me than you and your well-being. Don’t ever forget that.”
As you let his words sink in, you feel a wave of relief washing over you. You’re not alone. Not anymore.
707 // Luciel // Saeyoung
“You’re not the only one with a goofy happy-go-lucky mask on, you know?” Angry tears start spilling down your cheeks as your yelling fills the room. His eyes widen and his fingers stop in the midst of typing yet another complicated line of code.
Gaze still focused on his screen, he opens his mouth in an attempt to say something, anything, but his efforts fall short. Still afraid to look at you, afraid to come to terms with what you just said, he starts typing again, shaking his head in disbelief.
“No. No. You’re happy, outgoing, and loved, MC. For real. You’re not pretending. You’re not like me…” Voice breaking, he throws his laptop on the ground. To hell with it. He’ll just buy another one. Things are replaceable. People aren’t. As he finally gathers the courage to look at you, he feels warm tears dampening the skin of his cheeks. “Please… Please tell me you’re not like me.”
Your voice refuses to come out, instead making way to muffled sobs. Gaze cast down, you embrace yourself in an attempt to keep your mind and body from crumbling, fingers digging holes into the skin of your arms.
You hear him move and a moment later his hands are on your face. “MC… I’m so sorry.” Ashamed of your sudden confession, you refuse to look at him, instead clenching your eyes even more tightly.
“I had no idea you’ve gone through so much pain, MC.” His lips move on your face frantically, leaving light pecks in their wake. Releasing yourself from your own tight grip, you lean towards Saeyoung, hands moving up to clutch onto his hoodie like a drowning man at a straw.
When he finally feels like he’s covered the whole surface of your face with soft kisses, he lets his forehead rest on yours. “Whenever you’re ready to talk about it, I’ll be there to listen. I promise, MC. I promise.”
Ray // Unknown // Saeran
The delicate fragrance of roses fills his nostrils as soon as he walks out the door. Back facing him, you’re sitting cross-legged on the ground, arms firmly placed behind you to support the weight of your body. A sight so serene, it elicits a light chuckle from him.
As he gets closer to you, the soft smile on his face fades away. The sleeves of your shirt have gone slightly up your arms, revealing a sight that makes Saeran’s chest tighten with immeasurable pain.
Slowly, he sits down next to you, mimicking your position. “What is it, darling?” You try to engage him in a conversation, but to no avail. His expression is unreadable as he sits in silence next to you, making all kinds of bad thoughts cross your mind.
After a couple more minutes, he clears his throat and looks at you. “MC, are you… are you feeling okay?” You’re quick to place your hands in your lap, fiddling with the sleeves of your shirt to make sure they’re covering your secret.
Gently, he grabs one of your hands. “I saw them. I saw the scars.” Too used to this type of conversations, you laugh his worries off. “Oh, honey. You know I’ve been working a lot in the garden lately. I just lost a couple of battles against some rose bushes. That’s it. “
His grip on your hand tightens, prompting you to look at him, his eyes watery. “I understand why you’ve resorted to this coping mechanism. Believe me, MC, I understand. But… “ His free hand moves up to cover his face as his tears start flowing down his cheeks. “I want you to talk to me about it. Tell me how you feel. Tell me about what you’ve been going through.”
Biting your lips, you make a futile attempt to stop your own tears from falling. As he sees your reaction, Saeran moves closer to you, pulling you into a tight embrace. “I’m not gonna judge you. So please… Let’s talk about it. Let me help you. You’re not alone.” Sobs start wracking your body and you find your hands clutching at his shirt. “Not anymore.”
Jihyun Kim // V
“We regret to inform you that our organization will not be pursuing your candidacy for this position. We thank you for your interest…” Ah, what’s with all the job rejection letters these days? The same words, as if taken from the same site for templates, repeated in the last… you don’t even know how many emails anymore, stare at you from the screen, mocking your inability to land a job.
Who would want to hire you anyway? You’re worthless. You’re not good at anything and people can see that. Tears start pricking your eyes at the words of that persistent voice at the back of your head. Hard work doesn’t always pay off, it seems. As you let the glaring realization sink in, loud sobs start wracking your body.
Driven by a gut feeling, V hurries home, heart rate picking up as he thinks about you. The signs were subtle at first, but he noticed anyway. Lack of appetite, oversleeping, loss of interest in all the activities you used to enjoy. He’s not the epitome of healthy habits and his own wounds are still healing, but he’s not letting you face your trauma alone.
Back slouched over the desk, you let your head fall on the sturdy surface. Your tears fall ceaselessly down your cheeks, forming a small puddle of sorrow and regrets right next to your laptop. As you feel another wave of pain coursing through your body, slender arms wrap around your form tightly.
“It’s okay. It’s all gonna be okay, MC.” He pulls away for a second to plant a gentle, lingering kiss on your head, your hair soft under the touch of his lips. His gaze falls on the screen of the laptop, the job rejection letter still open in the browser.
Turning your chair around so he could look at you, he grabs your face, gaze resolute as it falls on your red eyes. “You are the strongest person I know, MC. Don’t let this setback trigger what you fought so hard to overcome. I’m here for you. You can get through this.” He leans in to let his forehead touch yours, his thumbs drawing circles on your cheeks. “I’ll be there for you every step of the way.”
Vanderwood
The sound of glass shattering to numerous pieces fills the room as soon as the vase makes contact with the wall. You’re angry, so angry, at everyone, everything, at the whole world… And above all, at yourself. At your own helplessness.
The pieces of shattered glass lie on the floor, glimmering under the moonlight that’s sliding in through the curtains. Their soft glow is almost otherworldly, alluring, hypnotizing, and you find yourself on your knees, a particularly big piece of glass in your hand.
Slowly, you roll up the sleeves of your shirt, revealing the sight of all your previously inflicted scars. You run your fingers over them, gently, as if careful not to disturb their peace, pondering over the meaning of all these sensations swirling around throughout your whole body.
You’re all too familiar with both physical and mental pain. To you, they’re connected to each other, coexisting. One follows the other in an endless, vicious cycle that you don’t know how to break.
As you feel your body going numb, you ready the piece of glass in your hand, but just when you’re about to slide it over your delicate skin, someone’s strong arms stop you. “Don’t. Please.”
Vanderwood’s voice is low, but clear, and you feel your grip on the glass loosening under his touch. With a sharp sound, it falls on the ground, breaking into two new pieces.
He pulls you towards his chest and you let the smell of leather, cigarettes, and mint, so unique to him, fill your lungs, soothing you in the process. “Talk to me. I’ll listen.” His embrace tightens even more around your body as he lets his cheek rest on the top of your head. “And I’ll help you cope with your pain. Let me do it. Please.”
Hello! ^^ I'm not sure if you know much about Australia, but could I request a scenario of Bakugou and Todoroki (separate if you can) where the reader is Australian and they are both surprised/confused by her accent and the slang she uses??? Btw love your work its all amazing! <3
So I was having a bit of trouble with this one, but it was so much fun to write after I actually got the stories going! Like, it just kept flowing and flowing for Bakugou (as most of his stories do), and then Todoroki’s story was where I got stuck. I used a lot more slang for his, and I think it worked out okay.
I’m hoping the terms are all used correctly and that they don't offend anyone! I had to look up Australian slang, and, boy, a lot of it is pretty vulgar, but they’re all so unexplainably funny? I only just learned that Australia is called “Oz”? That’s pretty freaking cool! Also, I kind of accidentally only wrote with slang in mind and not accents. Sorry about that!
Anyway, I hope you like this!
Bakugou Katsuki
Kirishima drops a bag onto your desk in front of you, and you look up at him in disbelief, the excitement buzzing through you almost tangible to him and Bakugou.
“Is this what I think it is?” You reach for the bag as Bakugou watches in interest. Just what could you be so worked up over? He almost jumps when you open the bag and squeal, your hands flying to your mouth and covering the smile Bakugou had started to grow addicted to. The blonde disapproves of the action and clicks his tongue - your smile is the prettiest thing he’s ever seen besides you, and he’d gladly do anything to see it.
“What is it?” He asks grumpily as he crosses him arms. You reach into the bag and pull out a stuffed bear, looking like you just won the lottery as you hold it up for him to see. “A fucking bear? Seriously?”
If you weren’t so happy, you’d frown at him, but you physically can’t. “Not just any bear, you fuckwit! It’s Rilakkuma!”
Ah, he thinks, there it goes again. He’d expected to hear you curse like a sailor and have witty comebacks prepared for every situation as most Australians tend to, but to your credit, you’ve barely slipped up since you arrived in Japan. On the rare occasion that you do, you laugh it off and do your best to explain the meaning of some phrases and words, and to his frustration, he finds your slip ups way too attractive.
“You bastard!” Bakugou is almost relieved that you’ve just called his best friend a bastard until you laugh and pull Kirishima into a tight hug, and he realizes that’s probably some Australian term that he doesn’t know. Kirishima looks frantically at his friend and makes sure that his hands are far away from you and where Bakugou can see them. When you pull away from the hug, you’re laughing for a different reason now. “What kind of hug was that, Kirishima? Too much for you? I know you’re weak around pretty girls, but come on.”
Kirishima stutters and fails to provide some sort of excuse, earning another wave of laughter from you. He can feel a pair of eyes burning into the side of his head, and he quickly shouts, “I-it was Bakugou’s idea! He thought you’d like it!”
You turn to the blonde, an eyebrow raised skeptically. God, he wishes he didn’t find that as attractive as he did.
“Really? Bakugou wanted to get me something?” You stand up and walk over to him until your chests are almost touching, and fuck he hopes you can’t hear the embarrassingly too loud beating of his heart that’s deafening to his own ears. “You didn’t sound too sure about what was in the bag earlier.”
“Th-that’s cause he didn’t know I was giving it to you today!” Kirishima butts in. He sends a thumbs up to Bakugou before continuing. “I was just too excited and couldn’t wait any longer.”
“Hm…” You don’t give Kirishima’s explanation much thought, instead focusing on the way Bakugou’s chest in front of you seems to be moving a bit too fast for that irritatingly calm look on his face. He’s wearing his usual scowl but otherwise looks unaffected by the close proximity between the two of you.
If only you knew that he was scowling from trying so hard not to kiss you right now.
“I guess,” you start, your voice dripping like honey from your lips, “I owe you a thanks. Perhaps a kiss?”
At that, the blonde stiffens, both aroused and startled by your words. He doesn’t believe you’ll go through with your words until you’re leaning closer and standing on your tiptoes for easier access to his lips. He automatically closes his eyes shut, hands clenched into fists at his side and his breathing stopped as he braces himself.
Your lips are soft, and… fuzzy?
Bakugou peeks with one eye and nearly has a mental breakdown when he sees the teddy bear’s face in front of his. He lets out the breath he had been holding in one whoosh, his ears growing red in anger and embarrassment as he glares at you. “You…! What the fuck was that?!”
“Bakugou, Bakgou, don’t tell me you were expecting something else?” you tease, a smile playing at your lips and Kirishima struggling to stifle his laughter behind you. Before the blonde can retort, your lips are on his cheek, effectively silencing both him and the rest of your classmates who had been watching the whole ordeal. When you pull away from him, there’s a light blush on your cheeks and a genuine-like smile on your face. “Thank you, Bakugou.”
Todoroki Shouto
“Hey, Todoroki-kun.” You nudge the boy’s shoulder, and he turns around to look at you while trying his best to not look like your touch had sent sparks through him. “I was talking to Yaorazu-chan earlier about tea, and she went off on a whole lecture about all sorts of tea. Since you’re rich - I’m assuming you are, being Endeavor’s son and all - I was wondering if you like tea, too.”
Todoroki recalls walking past you and Yaorazu earlier, slightly amused at the different interest levels displayed on both your faces as she talked about something he didn’t quite catch, and he smiles again at the memory. You had looked so out of it while Yaorazu was animatedly smiling and waving her arms about.
“I enjoy tea,” he replies, trying to remember the last time he had tea. Was it when he went to visit his mother?
“Do you like that exy stuff, too? I mean, I can’t say I do ‘cause I’d go broke if I bought just one pack, but maybe you have some lying around your house.”
It takes him a moment to realize you’re still talking about tea, but his mind is still preoccupied with something you said that he didn’t recognize at all. You don’t seem to notice though, still continuing the conversation like everything you were saying made complete sense.
“Do you make it the same way as cheap tea? Like, boiling water in a bizzie and pouring some of the herbs into a cup and then the boiled water?”
Todoroki finds himself once again thrown off at yet another foreign word, but he simply nods his head and pretends like he knows what you’re referring to when you say “bizzie.” He decides you’ve used some Australian word, which makes him feel slightly better at having not understood what you meant.
You fall silent after a bit and stare out the window, and Todoroki takes this chance to reorient himself. He could just ask you to explain what those words meant, but if he tries asking you know, then you’d know he didn’t know what you were talking about at all and simply went along with whatever you said. He could feel himself growing dizzy thinking about it until you let out a gasp, suddenly remembering something.
“I heard that the food at Macca’s in Japan are way smaller! Could you take me to one after school, Todoroki-kun?” He almost says no, just because he has no idea what you’re saying again, but the way your eyes are lit up with excitement makes it so hard to. He hesitates for a moment, unsure if he can even handle spending more time with you now that he knows he has another problem besides his growing crush on you. Taking his silence as reluctance, you say, “Or not. I think Sero-kun was talking about going later. I can as him if he can - “
“No!” His sudden shout surprises both of you, and he apologizes quickly for it. “I’ll take you.”
He wishes he could take pictures in his mind because the smile that spreads on your face is one he’d like to remember, so he resorts to committing every detail to memory while he can. You’re just so beautiful and kind, and you spend so much time talking to someone unsocial like him when you could be making so many more friends. You’re the new transfer student, so he’s sure making friends wouldn’t be hard for you, especially since you’re so easy to get along with. He wonders if you consider him a friend, but the way you’re looking at him now makes him feel like you see him as something more than that. Your attention is brought elsewhere when you hear a shout from the hallway, a familiar head of blonde yelling some taunt as he walks by the classroom.
“Get stuffed, you fruit loop!” You shout, standing up from your seat and making a fist. Monoma cackles but does as he’s told, knowing full well what you’re capable of. You smile down at Todoroki, proud after scaring off the blonde. “He sure is persistent.”
He sighs, defeated and exhausted from attempting to decipher your confusing language, and he realizes that he’ll have to hear more of it later when you go to whatever “Macca’s” is.
Today is going to be a long day, but…
He glances up at you and smiles as you make a face at Bakugou across the room, some playful remark playing on your tongue.
