Happy Valentine’s Day @official-wayward-herondale! While this isn’t a direct 15x18 fix-it I hope it’s close enough. I enjoyed writing this and I hope you enjoy your day!
Thanks to @fallingstarsdeancas and @acklesology for arranging this gift exchange, I appreciate all the time you two put into this.
@nguyenxtrang you are the absolute best, thanks for beta-ing this story on such short notice!!!
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Some Things I’ll Never Say (But I’ll Show You Anyway) - read it on AO3!
In the beginning, Dean hadn’t coped well at all. He avoided Sam, he resented Jack, and he drank himself into oblivion at every available opportunity. Then Jody showed up with Claire in tow. She just shook her head sadly at Dean and proceeded to shove him towards the shower insisting that he clean himself up. Something about the deep and conflicted pain in Claire’s eyes spurred him into movement.
Dean did as Jody asked and was surprised how much better he felt after washing away days’ worth of sweat and grime. There was still a jagged chasm in his chest, but at least he could breathe without reeking of his own despair. He allowed himself to sink into the sensation of scalding water pounding on his skin, but without the aid of alcohol Dean couldn’t prevent his mind from summoning up the teary blue eyes of his dead best friend to haunt him. Screaming, Dean smashed his fist into the wall until it bled. He sank to the bottom of the tub wishing desperately to just stop hurting.
“Dammit Cas, why? Why did you have to leave me again? Why do I keep having to see you die? Fuck, why is Jack willing to bring back everyone else, but leave his own Dad to rot in the Empty? Do you still hear me when I pray to you, you bastard? Why haven’t you come back to me?” Dean’s rant was lost in the pouring rush of running water.
Eventually the sound of Jody pounding on the door reminded Dean that he was still standing in the shower long after he’d cleaned himself up. Dragging himself into clean clothing, Dean’s anger continued to burn, his frustration at Cas growing and holding the sorrow at bay long enough to listen to Sam, Claire, and Jody as they told him what they’d managed to learn about the Empty.
“What difference does it make that the Empty can’t hold human souls? Cas ain’t human and there’s nothing we can do now that he’s already been taken? Isn’t that what Jack said when he refused to help? That there’s no way to get to Cas now since he made a deal with the Empty in the first place?”
“Will you shut the hell up and listen?” Claire looked supremely unimpressed with Dean’s attitude as she continued talking so he didn’t have a chance to respond. “When I was Castiel’s vessel for a short time I knew what he did, or at least what he noticed at that time. Obviously, angel thoughts aren’t really meant to be understood by us mere mortals, but I do remember you Dean. You, uh, sort of called to Castiel, despite his dickishness at the time. I think he imprinted on you or something?”
“Exactly, remember how he said you shared a profound bond Dean? I think he imbued you with some of his grace when he pulled you out of Hell.” Sam sounded all too chipper considering Dean’s mood, but then Dean recalled the handprint that used to be raised on his arm, and the bloody handprint that echoed that when Cas sacrificed himself to the Empty.
“I mean, sure, I’d buy that, but what does that have to do with saving Cas?” Dean had no idea where this conversation was going, but he was wary of the hope that was starting to build up inside of him.
“Dean, Sam and Claire think they can use the grace in your body to tether your soul to Cas. If he’s intrinsically bound to a human soul - ” Dean jumped in cutting Jody off.
“The Empty can’t keep him!”
“Yeah man, exactly. The only tricky part is distinguishing Cas’ grace from Michael since he would have left a trace behind as well. Cas’ should be more dominant in your system from what Claire remembers though. She said that her Dad didn’t call to Cas, more that she could just tell he was a vessel.” Claire grimaced at Sam’s speech and shrugged off Jody’s consoling shoulder pat. Dean appreciated that Claire was willing to help, despite her complicated past with Castiel.
“Is there any way to pull what’s left of Michael’s grace out of me, like you guys did with Gadreel?” Sam scowled at the suggestion.
“That’s a terrible idea Dean, if we kill you, we can’t do any of this.”
Dean nodded, conceding Sam’s point.
“What about Jack?” Dean’s lips thinned at Jody’s suggestion.
“Yeah right, he already made it clear that he’s perfectly fine letting Cas rot in the Empty.” Dean almost fell out of his chair at the appearance of Jack in the Bunker.
“Dean, I never said I wanted Castiel to ‘rot in the Empty’.” Dean’s heart fluttered at Jack’s air quotes. He missed Cas so badly, but maybe taking out his pain on their kid was a dick move. He was just so much like Cas, it hurt sometimes. “I’m certainly willing to purge you of Michael’s grace, if you’d like me to do so.”
“I’m sorry kid, I keep doing things wrong with you. I know you want him back too.” Jack gave Dean a small smile. “Yeah Jack, I’d really appreciate you getting rid of whatever shit Michael left behind."
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Purging Michael’s grace hadn’t hurt at all. Pulling bits of Dean’s soul infused with Cas’ grace like it was some sort of spiritual taffy felt like being mauled by a fucking Wendigo. Jack had left after helping with Michael’s grace; he had said they were more likely to succeed without his presence as the Empty was too familiar with him. The more they had surprise on their side, the better.
Sam somehow convinced Rowena to help, which was apparently a good thing. Sam insisted that she had much more experience with manipulating souls (which Dean couldn’t really argue with her resume in that area) and would be their best chance at stretching his soul into the Empty while using the small amount of grace embedded in Dean as a kind of locator spell. The problem was that Dean was having a hard damn time with the sensation of stretching his soul across other planes of existence. Sam had told him that he had to stay conscious because they needed him to pray to Cas. They all hoped Dean’s prayers would help the grace find its original source.
C’mon Cas, please hear me this time. I need you to call your grace back to you. We found a way to get to you, but we need your help. I need you to accept what’s being offered. Please Cas, please come home to us. To me.
Dean’s prayers became more and more desperate. What if Cas refused to accept Dean’s soul? Cas died believing that Dean didn’t love him back, at least not in the same way. What if the self-sacrificing asshole wouldn’t take a bond with Dean’s soul if he didn’t think Dean would ever return his feelings? Dean began to panic as the pain increased.
“Dean?” Sam’s voice barely cut through the fog of pain, but Dean tried to nod in response. “Rowena says that you should be close, that the locator spell is working. Keep trying to reach him, she doesn’t know how long a human soul can infiltrate the Empty and go unnoticed.”
Castiel, Cas, I need you to listen to me. Take my fucking soul already, Rowena can’t keep up this spell forever. Please Cas, I don’t know what’s going through your stubborn angel brain right now, but I swear I want this, I want to bind my soul to your grace. I need you back with me, I need you to stay with me. Come back to me Cas, I refuse to lose you again. I’m begging you Cas, accept my soul, let me bring you home.
Dean felt the pain increase and knew he was on the edge of passing out when he felt a response. A cooling sensation, tingling like when Cas would heal him, rushed through Dean as he felt a wrenching and a flood of what he could only describe as love. The feeling was even more overwhelming than the pain had been, and Dean couldn’t hold on to consciousness any longer.
---
The next thing Dean felt was fingers running through his hair. The sensation was soothing and if Dean was dreaming, he didn’t care to wake up.
“Hello Dean. I know you’re awake.” Dean’s eyes flew open at the deep and beloved voice of his best friend. Greeted by familiar blue eyes, Dean tried to throw his arms around his angel only to fall back onto his pillow light-headed and dizzy. Cas chuckled softly.
“Cas?”
“Please take care Dean, you’ve been through quite an ordeal for a human, and it will take time to recover. Unfortunately, I can’t heal you from the effects of binding your soul to my grace.” Cas’ brows furrowed in concern as he resumed combing his fingers through Dean’s hair.
“Yeah, okay but, you’re really here? It worked?” Dean’s voice was almost a plea, he didn’t think he’d survive losing Cas again, even if this was all some sort of elaborate hallucination.
“I’m really here Dean. Your claim on me supersedes the Empty’s. I’m yours officially now, always, and in whatever way you will have me.” Cas’ smile was too sad, and Dean felt like he was missing something.
“Why aren’t you happy Cas?”
“I’m sorry Dean, I am happy, I just feel like you’ve bound yourself to me when you could have had so much more in your life. I wanted you to have the chance to find all the love you deserve, to find real happiness for once, and now you’re stuck with a tie to me that can never be undone.” Can turned away as he spoke, as if afraid of Dean’s reaction.
“Cas.” Dean pulled on Cas’ sleeve and dragged him down onto the bed. If Dean couldn’t sit up, then the angel could lay down with Dean. “Cas, I’m sorry I didn’t make it clear. When you said there was one thing you wanted that you couldn’t have… you were wrong. You can have me. I’ve been yours for so long now. I’m sorry I never told you, I’m sorry you died thinking I didn’t feel the same way. Dammit Cas, all I’ve ever wanted was for you to stay with me. So please, take me, take all of me, because you can have what you want, and I intend to spend the rest of my life proving that to you.
Cas seemed speechless in light of Dean’s words, but his eyes were brimming with the same love that had sent him to the Empty in the first place. The angel gently rubbed his thumb over Dean’s cheekbone, and leaned in tentatively, as if still expecting a rejection. Dean couldn’t stand it any longer. Maybe he hadn’t found a way to squeeze three little words out, but he could show Cas how he felt. He surged forward to close the gap and melted into Cas’ lips. As he poured every loving feeling he couldn’t put into words into the kiss, Dean knew that he would try every day of the rest of his life to show his angel all the ways he adored and cherished him.
“I’m yours, Cas.” Dean whispered the words in between breathless kisses.
“As I am for you Dean. Forever.”
Against all odds Dean Winchester was now truly saved, and Castiel had found a true home in the arms of the man he loved more than Heaven.
Dean ran his fingers through Castiel’s feathers, watching as stardust traveled in their wake. Dean thought that he’d never get over being able to see and touch his angel’s wings. When Jack had rescued Cas from the Empty, he’d given him a choice. Cas could come with Jack and help him rebuild Heaven, or he could remain on Earth. Dean had never once asked Cas to stay before that day, but he just couldn’t let the person he’d fallen in love with go on thinking that he couldn’t have the one thing that would make him happy. So, Dean asked.
Jack would have allowed Cas to remain connected to Heaven, but Cas asked if Jack could help him find a way to live a mortal life with Dean. Jack had been more than happy to help. Using the bond that Dean and Cas had forged from the day that Dean had been pulled from Hell, to their time in Purgatory, from the times they had faced sorrow and death, and through the love that they both felt for so long but kept hidden deep inside, Jack was able to bind their inner selves together. Cas gained a mortal life with Dean, and a closer tie to human feelings and needs. Dean gained the ability to interact with some of Cas’ true form and occasionally glimpse the souls of others. While Cas was delighted to experience humanity without losing his wings, Dean thought he had the better end of the bargain.
Cas’ wings were the most amazing thing that Dean had ever seen. At first glance, they were as back as the darkest night and as sharp as steel – warrior’s wings. That was only the surface though. As their bond settled and Dean saw Cas’ wings more and more clearly, he saw they weren’t actually black. Every color seemed to shine throughout the angel’s wings, a rainbow of colors shimmering in the light. More than that, it was like looking into the night sky. The colors of stars, nebulas, planets, and comets were all contained within Cas’ wings. As Dean looked deeper, the sharpness was lost to fluffier softness, almost as if Cas was relaxing under Dean’s gaze. Dean would never forget this first glimpse of Cas’ true form. Never before had Dean been able to visibly see how much Cas loved him, but he saw all that and more reflected in the angel’s wings.
“You seem to be thinking hard. It’s too early in the morning for that, Dean.” Dean grinned at Cas’ grouchy morning voice. Cas had become human enough to need sleep and so far, waking up was high on the list of the angel’s least favorite mortal experiences. Dean continued to create a trail of shimmering ripples as he carded his hands in the soft feathers, increasing the pressure of his fingers now that he knew his husband was awake.
“Mmm, alright, carry on with the thinking.” Cas let out a long and contented hum, deep enough that Dean privately thought his angel was purring.
“You know I can’t get enough of you, sunshine. I’m happy to pet you whenever you want.” Cas turned his head and blinked slowly. In the blink of an eye Dean was pulled into Cas’ arms as the wing he’d been stroking wrapped around him. Cas’ lips were soft and sleep-warm as they molded to Dean’s. Melting into the kiss, Dean could feel Cas’ feathers cradling him. He’d never tire of kissing Cas; he’d gone so long without him that Dean would gladly spend the rest of his days in his angel’s embrace.
“Are you going to share your thoughts with me, or do I have to guess what’s on your mind.” Dean kissed Cas a few more times before pulling back just enough to answer.
“I’m thinking of the day Jack bound us more closely together. About seeing you, I guess in some ways for the first time. You’re so damn beautiful, sweetheart. You shine like every goddamned star in the universe all rolled in together.” Cas’ shining blue eyes locked with Dean’s, and Dean gasped as he saw the love contained there.
“Oh, Dean. Your soul has always shone so brightly for me, I’m glad that you can now see me shining just as brightly for you.” Dean pulled his angel into another kiss, overwhelmed by the feelings of joy like he’d never known before. Here with Cas, wrapped in his wings, Dean finally knew true peace.
This is my first time doing Suptober and I probably won’t do every day (and am already a day late) but I thought it would be a good creativity boost and looking through all the other work it seemed like a lot of fun! Thanks to @winchester-reload for organizing this :)
Check it out on AO3!
Castiel hadn’t meant to overhear the conversation. He was supposed to be on break, but had volunteered to reset room 5 for the next patient because he knew his friend Alex had been in dire need of a break. Cas was only a volunteer, spending his junior year of college shadowing various medical professionals to get a better idea of what a career in medicine would really be like. When Alex had suggested shadowing one of the doctors she worked with, he’d readily agreed, knowing that his friend spoke highly of both Dr. Barnes and Dr. Fitzgerald.
He’d already spent the past few hours shadowing Dr. Fitzgerald (or Garth as he insisted on being called) and had seen enough to realize that Family Medicine was understaffed and struggling to do the best they could for their patients given the absurd constraints on their time. Garth was currently seeing a patient who didn’t want a stranger in the room, so the doctor had told Cas to grab some lunch. Cas had intended to do just that when he saw Alex making frantic phone calls at the front desk. When she’d hung up, she’d looked at the end of her rope, explaining to Can that one of the other nurses called out and she couldn’t find anyone to cover for them.
Which is how Cas ended up in room 5 wiping down the surfaces and pulling a new paper cover over the bed. Cas knew all about patient privacy, but really, the conversation easily carried into the room when the man who must be one of Dr. Barnes patients had decided to continue talking to her out in the hallway. The man had a compelling voice and by the time Cas realized he was eavesdropping it was too late to avoid it as leaving room 5 now would have only made the unsuspecting patient realize he’d been overheard.
“Um, and, I’m really sorry about this doc, but I probably can’t afford the bill for today’s services right away.”
“Dean, just call Meg like I told you. Our pharmacy here is amazing at finding co-pay cards for these types of medications.”
“I will talk to her, I swear. It’s just when we had to switch insurance plans the new one says the co-pay for that grade of medicine is $100 a dose. I’m honestly not sure I can make that work Dr. Barnes.”
“I understand, but you need this medicine Dean. Your RA will flare right back up without it. If that happens you eventually won’t be able to work at all. Even skipping doses is ill-advised, letting the inflammation persist could eventually cause permanent damage to your joints.”
“I get it doc, I do, but $400 a month? It’s basically choosing between eating and my ability to move without pain.”
“Dean, just talk to Meg. We will figure something out. At least promise me you’ll take the Humira every other week. I know it didn’t manage your symptoms well at the lower dose before, but it was still better than letting the RA go untreated.”
Dean must have responded to Dr. Barnes in some way Castiel couldn’t hear, because after a few moments the sound of footsteps echoed down the hallway, fading as they moved towards the front desk. Cas hurried out of room 5, the trash bag hanging unnoticed from his wrist. His heartbeat sped up as he worried that he wouldn’t catch a glimpse of “Dean” before he left the office. Cas didn’t really know what he was planning on doing, just that he couldn’t stand the thought of this man resigning himself to pain all because the healthcare industry was such an awful mess that it would burden someone with choosing food over medicine. Something about the way Dean had sounded reminded him so much of his sister, Anna, right before she had left Castiel forever. That feeling drew Cas forward to meet a man he didn’t know. Cas couldn’t solve Dean’s money problems, Cas couldn’t force the government to change how healthcare was run in the country, Cas couldn’t even make Dean’s medical issues any better – but he could meet this man and maybe make him smile for a moment. Maybe, if he was brave enough, he could offer him some sort of friendship so maybe he would have one more person to help him through his struggles. Cas had been too young to understand how alone Anna must have felt but he knew more about it now. Helping people like Anna was what had drawn Cas to medicine in the first place.
Turning the corner Cas was startled to see what could only be a 6-foot flannel-wearing freckled god. The man was Hollywood beautiful and for a moment Cas forgot what had brought him rushing around the corner in the first place. The sound of Alex pointedly snapping her fingers brought Castiel back to reality as he broke of his inappropriate staring. He felt his skin heat up rapidly as he blushed.
“Did you finish room 5, Castiel?” Alex stared at him expectantly. Silently, Cas handed over the trash bag and muttered something about taking his lunch break outside. Too embarrassed by his very obvious admiration of the man that must have been Dean, Cas didn’t think he could talk to him in front of Alex. He rushed out the front door in the hopes that the autumn air would help him pull himself together. He didn’t know why he’d felt so compelled to talk to a man who’s private and very personal conversation he’d overheard. He was almost glad that his humiliating gawking had saved him from speaking to the guy. After all, what would he have said anyway? The air alone wasn’t helping Castiel’s composure, so he began pacing in front of the building.
“I mean how do you go up to a stranger and tell them they aren’t alone and that good things do happen? It’s not like it wouldn’t embarrass the guy to know I overheard him talking about his money problems…” Cas froze as he heard someone clear their throat behind him.
“Uh, hey man. I actually came out to ask you something else, but I think this just got awkward.” Cas took a deep breath already knowing it was Dean standing behind him. Cas’ habit of muttering to himself when anxious had gotten him into trouble on more than one occasion, but never quite as badly as this felt. Sadly, his fervent wish to turn invisible on the spot was being ignored by the universe and he found himself staring into striking green eyes while wondering how he could possibly salvage this situation.
“H-hello Dean. I’m Castiel, and I can’t apologize enough for overhearing your conversation with Dr. Barnes. I swear it wasn’t intentional, I was cleaning out the room you were standing near and – “
“Whoa, hold up buddy. I’m not mad or anything. I mean, it wouldn’t be my topic of choice to start chatting up the hot new guy at my doctor’s office, but you clearly work in healthcare, I’m sure you’ve heard the same thing from lots of folks.” Cas’ brain froze a bit when Dean referred to him as hot, but then it caught up with what he was actually saying.
“Er, actually I’m just shadowing Dr. Garth for the day, but yes, I have heard stories like yours. My sister, Anna, went through something similar. That’s why I wanted to say something to you but wasn’t sure what. Then I actually saw you and, well, you saw. I’m not really good with subtlety. I apologize if I made you uncomfortable.” Dean threw his head back with a barking laugh and Cas found himself staring at the beautiful man yet again.
“Having someone like you checking me out definitely doesn’t make me uncomfortable. If it makes you feel better, I came out hoping to ask if you’d be interested in going to the Harvest Festival tonight. I have to work for a bit at my store’s booth but if you were free around 7, I’d love to talk with you more. Even if it’s just whatever you wanted to talk to me about before.” Dean smiled flirtatiously at Cas, and there was no way to resist that.
“Yes, I’d love to! Where should I meet you?”
They exchanged information quickly, and parted ways with matching smiles. Cas would get his chance to tell Dean how his sister gave up her fight with cancer because she knew her treatments were bankrupting the family. He’d tell him how he’d was hoping to be a doctor himself one day to maybe help someone else like Anna win their fight despite the shitty healthcare system. He’d also tell Dean that he’d chased him down the hall because he’d desperately wanted to tell him that maybe they were strangers, but that he hoped Dean didn’t give up and that he’d be willing to be there for him if having a friend would help.
Now though, Cas thought maybe he’d already made Dean’s day a bit brighter, and he looked forward to getting to know the handsome man better. Maybe his impulse to offer his friendship to a stranger wasn’t as insane as it first seemed, and if Castiel was reading things right perhaps friendship wasn’t the only thing they had to offer one another.
Nostalgia, Pizza Delivery, Blue Skies, and Apple Pies
Yes, I combined three prompts. I’m not sure if that makes me awesome or lazy! Most likely, it just means I suck at getting these in on time.
Check it out on AO3 here!
It had taken another week, but Dean had managed to reschedule his and Cas’ baking date. Not that he was in any way opposed to the very pleasurable make out session that had interfered with their last attempt, but Dean wanted more when it came to Cas. So many of Dean’s positive memories of his childhood were associated with baking, and Dean found himself intensely curious about Cas’ love of a very specific peach pie for this very reason.
Nostalgia is an odd thing. On one hand, Dean could literally take himself back to the feelings of warmth and home he hadn’t experienced for too many years just by getting a whiff of a newly baked pie. It was one of the biggest motivators behind Dean’s initial decision to start his own bakery. On the other hand, there was a built-in lie when it came to nostalgia, looking into the past with rose-colored glasses.
Dean knew that his memories of baking pies with his mother had a darker undertone that he preferred to ignore. That, even as Dean was enjoying time in the kitchen with his mom, his father was succumbing to alcoholism, something that eventually led to the end of his life in a car crash. Dean’s mom had done the best she could for her boys afterwards, but in most ways, Dean had stopped being a child the day his father died. For all the times spent happily baking in the kitchen and experimenting with new recipes, there were even more moments when Dean was the only thing keeping his family together. When his mother passed away a little over two years ago, Dean could only be grateful that Sam was so close to graduation that it hadn’t taken too much work to get him across the finish line.
Once Sam left, all Dean had was the memories of his family to keep him together. He applied for a small business loan and used nostalgia to keep moving forward through the ache of loneliness. He kept telling himself that his family hadn’t abandoned him. Death took his parents, and his brother was an adult now and needed to live his own life. Sam had even tried to get Dean to move with him, and possibly that was another downside of nostalgia – Dean wanted to stay in the place where he grew up. The place where his mother had lived and Dean had, for the briefest of times, felt happy and safe.
Dean also knew that Sam worried about his health. Dean had been diagnosed with RA shortly before his brother’s graduation when pain that had been manageable in the past began to interfere with Dean’s ability to complete simple tasks. Early on Dean had written off the joint pain as a result of working too hard at the garage, or overexerting himself keeping their older house maintained. Dean tried the usual remedies of exercise and eating (somewhat) healthier at Sam’s insistence, but Dean continued to have unexplained pain. He finally went to see his doctor when he had to keep his arm in a sling because of unbearable shoulder pain. Dean knew he hadn’t injured his shoulder; he’d been paying close attention to anything that may have been a factor in the constant stream of inexplicable injuries, and there was absolutely no reason why it should feel as if he’d hurt his rotator cuff.
After his blood work and x-ray came back, Dean was diagnosed with Rheumatoid arthritis. Dean had always thought of arthritis as something that happened to much older people but he quickly found out that he was far from alone in developing the autoimmune disorder at a younger age. He also learned that the arthritis he’d known about was actually osteoarthritis – not the same condition at all, although Dean was less than pleased to find out having RA made it more likely for him to develop osteoarthritis down the line.
While Dean had been grateful that Sam was there for him as Dean worked his way through preliminary treatments before getting on the biologic that restored him almost back to normal, Dean didn’t want Sam to make his decisions based off of Dean’s condition. Hell, Dean didn’t want any of their choices made because of Dean’s chronic disease. So, Dean put on a happy face and practically shoved his brother out the door to take advantage of his full ride to Stanford. Quitting his job as a mechanic to open up his own bakery had been what really convinced Sam that Dean would be alright without him.
The bakery became a sanctuary. Dean could bask in the good memories of his family and ignore the bad. He could push through the fog of ever-present pain as he cut back on how frequently he took his medication when his insurance wouldn’t cover enough of the cost. He could drown himself in nostalgia and to hell with the long-term consequences of that choice.
But then came Cas with his sky-blue eyes and messy brown hair, barreling into Dean’s life as an unexpected breath of good things here in the present. Suddenly Dean’s attachment to his past seemed less important. Dean wanted to live in the here and now, he wanted to build something more for himself with Cas by his side.
So, tonight Dean would get his new boyfriend to teach him about where he came from with the very thing that Dean used to remember his origins. After that, Dean would share his mother’s apple pie recipe when he came over for Thanksgiving. He’d probably bring more than one pie; it was always good to have extra. He’d meet Cas’ brother and just maybe, if he was lucky, Cas would stick around long enough to meet Sammy for Christmas.
Dean was roused from his thoughts with the sound of the doorbell. Sparing only a moment to check his appearance in the mirror, Dean rushed to greet his date. He was a bit nervous for Cas to see his house, but if Dean wanted this thing between them to really work it was important that his boyfriend see what he was getting himself into. Dean threw open the door enthusiastically.
“Hello Dean.” Dean grinned stupidly at the bright smile on Cas’ face as he balanced a bag of groceries in one hand and boxes with the local pizzeria’s logo in the other.
“Ah, the perfect boyfriend – free pizza delivery!” Cas raised one eyebrow at Dean’s antics, clearly waiting to be let inside.
“I don’t suppose you’d like to eat said pizza at any point tonight?”
Good point, angel, let me help you out there.” Dean snagged the precariously balanced pizza and wing boxes and kicked the door closed behind Cas. Leading him over to the kitchen, Dean placed the containers on the counter of the small island. Cas set the grocery bag down and before Dean could say a word, soft and slightly chapped lips were pressed to his own. Opening up eagerly to his boyfriend, Dean couldn’t help but think that kissing Castiel was the only thing that really mattered.
Dean eagerly buried his fingers in Cas’ thick dark hair, deepening the kiss. Barely coming up for air, Dean idly wondered if they’d be skipping out on peach pie tonight as well – not that he was complaining. Cas pulled away all too soon, but the look into his darkened eyes was enough to convince Dean that this wasn’t the last he’d taste of Cas that night.
“I’ve missed you, it’s so hard to find any time right now. I swear all of my professors conspired to schedule tests and papers right before Fall break.” Dean chuckled, having heard the exact same complaint from Sam the other day.
“We shouldn’t waste any time then, at this rate I won’t see you again until Thanksgiving.” Cas leaned forward and kissed the edge of Dean’s jaw.
“Even if I can’t get a break before school lets out, we get the entire week off for Thanksgiving. As long as you want me around, and as long as you don’t mind me studying, I’m happy to spend my time off with you.” Cas’ face went a little red and it took Dean a second to realize that Cas was blushing.
“Of course, I want you around! Honestly, sweetheart, even if I’m working, you’re more than welcome to come study at the bakery. I know it’s been pretty crowded as the holidays get closer, but in the spring the table by the window would make a great homework spot.”
“Really? You think you’ll still want me around by the spring?” Cas seemed more nervous than Dean thought he should be. Did Cas not see how awesome he was? Heck, Dean was the lucky one in this arrangement – a baker with a GED dating a future doctor.
“Yeah, man. I know we haven’t been together long, but you’re already my best friend. I can’t see a time when I don’t want you in my life.” Cas’ face lit up with a joyful smile.
“I feel the same way, I just didn’t want to scare you off by coming on too strong.” Dean choked out as surprised laugh.
“I get that, but I guess I just couldn’t let you stand there thinking that this was in any way temporary on my end. I really want to see where this relationship can go, Cas.” Still smiling, Cas gathered up Dean in his arms and Dean melted into the embrace. “That being said, I really do want to get to know you better. I’d like to start with you teaching me about your grandmother’s peach pie.”
“I can do that. I brought all the ingredients; I didn’t know what’d you’d have at your house.” Dean reluctantly pulled away from Cas to peek in the grocery bag.
“Did you bring pre-made dough from the grocery store? Really?” Cas chuckled.
“Honestly, that’s how my grandmother made it once I was old enough to pay attention to the recipe. She made he own crust before that, but none of my aunts or uncles have the recipe and all I remember is the homemade crust tasted more of butter. Oh, and it was flakier.”
“I can work with that, maybe we can make something similar. What we aren’t doing is using store bought crust.” Cas shook his head at Dean fondly.
“In fairness to my grandmother I believe that she was more physically fragile by the time she switched. She couldn’t spend as long in the kitchen.”
“Ah, I’m sorry man, I don’t mean to trash talk your grandma.” Scoffing at Dean’s words, Cas started to pull the peaches out of the bag.
“Don’t worry, I didn’t take it that way. Did you want to eat or bake first?”
“I think we can get the pie started and then eat while it bakes, if that’s okay with you.” Cas hummed in agreement and the two of them got to work. Dean shared some of his crust making secrets explaining to Cas that he was lucky Dean was a baker as he always has some of his own dough ready to use. Cas shared stories about his grandmother, along with some fairly outrageous stories about his brother, Gabriel. Dean was surprised by the simplicity of the peach pie recipe, but he was more surprised that Cas didn’t seem to know what actually counted as a pie.
“Cas… this is, at best, a very large peach tart. It’s not a pie!” Cas rolled his eyes and continued to add large amounts of butter on top of the sliced peaches.
“My grandmother called it a pie, so it’s a pie. Think of it as a sheet pie if it makes you feel better.” Dean still knew it wasn’t a pie, but out loud he conceded that sheet pie was an acceptable compromise.
If nostalgia for Cas meant calling not-pies, pies – then who was Dean to argue? As long as it meant having Cas smiling and laughing here with Dean, he was happy to make all the not-pie Cas could ever want.
This is a follow up to Day 1. Check out the master-list if you’d like to catch up!
Read it on AO3 - kudos and comments are always welcome :)
It had been two weeks since Cas had awkwardly stuck his nose into Dean Winchester’s personal business and he couldn’t bring himself to regret it. Cas had gone to the Harvest Festival to meet Dean only to be pleasantly surprised to find him running a bakery booth. Dean then began to regale Cas with the tale of how his love of pie had led him to opening his own bakery and while Cas admired Dean for following his passion, he also gained a better understanding as to why Dean struggled with paying for his medication as maintaining a small business was often a balancing act. Even with Dean’s business doing well, the cost of taking care of himself when he had a chronic illness must be a constant stress on him, and not just financially.
Cas had taken the time to share his sister’s story with Dean as they walked around the festival that first night. While Anna’s situation hadn’t been quite the same, Dean understood why Cas felt compelled to talk to him. Dean assured Cas that while he’d had times where he struggled with depression because of the constant pain RA caused him when untreated (and sometimes even with his medication), that he wasn’t going to give up. Dean told him how Dr. Barnes had changed his life when she got him on his current medication and that he trusted her to help him make it through the issues he was having now with his new insurance company. Then he winked at Cas, tipping his mouth up in a smirk, and told the blue-eyed man that he certainly intended to take care of himself if it meant he’d get the chance to see more of Cas.
Since the Harvest festival they’d only managed to meet up for coffee a few times, but they had a date planned for tonight. Dean had asked Cas what his favorite baked treat was and Cas had immediately responded with peach pie. Dean had then brought Cas a slice of his bakery’s peach pie while Cas was studying one night and while Cas had enjoyed it, he’d eventually confessed that he’d meant his grandmother’s recipe when he’d talked about it earlier. That had led to Dean insisting Cas share the baked good that was better than his peach pie and Cas had agreed to get a hold of the recipe.
Cas pulled up to the still lit windows of Winchester’s Pies and Pastries in his beat-up Chevy Cobalt. The car was a bit of a lemon but Cas was attached to it as it had been his constant companion since leaving home for college. He smiled as he locked the car door, recalling how Dean had tried for all of five minutes to refrain from criticizing it. Looking up at the bakery windows Cas shivers in anticipation of finally having a night alone with the man he’s rapidly become infatuated with. He eagerly strides up to the door, texting as he walks to let Dean know he’s arrived.
“Hey Cas! C’mon in!” Dean’s smile is bright as he holds open the door and Cas shyly kisses Dean’s cheek as he walks in and pulls off his trench coat, draping it over his arm. Cas is happy that Dean takes the kiss in stride as they had barely done more than hold hands up until this point. He’s aware why he’s taking his physical advances slow, but he hasn’t worked up the nerve to ask why Dean hasn’t made a move. While it feels like he’s known Dean for ages, Cas doesn’t want to presume that the handsome baker feels the same way, and as Cas has little previous experience with relationships to draw on, he’s unsure as to what is normal and what isn’t at this point in time.
“Hello Dean. How was your day?” Dean locks the front door and waves Cas over towards the back.
“It was alright, bakeries are pretty popular in the fall and there’s some huge family reunion going on in town that about wiped me out this afternoon. Oh, and then Sam called to say he plans on staying in Stanford for Thanksgiving because he feels like he needs the time to catch up.” Cas could hear the disappointment in Dean’s voice and he reached out to grab Dean’s hand.
“I’m sorry your brother won’t be home as soon as you’d hoped. I know you’ve missed him since he started his freshman year at Stanford.” Dean squeezed Cas’ hand in response and then pulled him into the bakery kitchen.
“It’ll be fine, it’s not like we had a big Thanksgiving planned or anything.” Cas hesitates for a moment wondering if a handful of partial dates was enough to justify spending holidays together. Then he decided he’d already chased after a man he didn’t know because he overheard his private conversation so maybe what he and Dean were doing wasn’t meant to be traditionally paced anyway.
“Well, if you don’t have other plans, would you like to come over my place for Thanksgiving? Only my brother Gabe will be there, and maybe his girlfriend, Kali, if they aren’t on one of their break-up phases, but I can promise decent food and drinks.”
“Really? I mean, thanks angel, but I don’t want to intrude.” Cas tilted his head and narrowed his eyes trying to figure out what Dean really wanted. Dean was rubbing the back of his neck while standing awkwardly in the middle of the kitchen. Cas wasn’t always great at social interaction but reading Dean… there was something about him that spoke to Cas.
“Dean, please come over for Thanksgiving. I don’t know about you, but I feel like you belong in my life – even if it’s just as friends. To be clear though, I’m very interested in being more than friends with you.” Dean flashes Cas a cocky smile and Cas holds up his hand to stall any response. “That’s probably beside the point. What I’m trying to say is you are not only welcome at my place for Thanksgiving, but I’d be happier if I got to spend the holiday with you.”
“Cas.” Dean’s fingers dance across Cas’ cheek and he finds himself leaning into Dean’s touch. “Okay. I’ll bring the pie.” Cas laughs softly and nods.
“I’m sorry if it seems like I’m moving too fast, inviting you over for a holiday and all.”
“Well, Thanksgiving isn’t exactly picking out curtains together. If it makes you feel any better, I don’t really know how fast something like this is supposed to move anyway. Maybe we can both just make it up as we go?” Cas turns his head towards the hand that’s now cupping his face and kisses Dean’s palm softly. Dean responds by pulling Cas closer, until they are close enough to touch their noses together.
“In that spirit, I have a secret I’d like to share.” Dean’s breath smells like apples and Cas idly wonders how much of his own products Dean subsists off of. It’d be easy to lean in and see how much Dean tastes like the pies he creates.
“Yeah? I’m all ears, sunshine.” Dean’s grin is mischievous as Cas runs a thumb along the bottom of Dean’s lip.
“I’d really like to kiss you right now, and I don’t want to stop kissing you anytime soon.” Dean’s lips are on him as soon as the words leave his mouth. The last coherent thought has for the next while is that Dean does taste like pie, but also, he feels like coming home.
Happy Christmas @aibari! I’m you’re secret santa and I hope you enjoy your gift!
Thanks to @destielsecretsanta2020 for putting all of this together :)
Wishlist fulfilled: Angst with a Happy Ending, Case Fic, Weird Small Towns (well city in this case), Weird Angel Lore, Hand holding, and Americana (I tried to work in as much as I could) – if you want specific info on all of the Americana I tied in, check out my endnotes on AO3 😊 Also, @aibari I’m happy to list you as the giftee on AO3 if you have a name over there.
The is roughly set during early Season 12, but I’m not married to canon or anything.
***
Dean wasn’t easily impressed these days, but even he had to admit that the tree growing out of the grave was unlike anything he’d come across before. The historic cemetery in the middle of Missouri had its fair share of trees, but they had come here for this one. Cas stood next to him looking like he was attempting to interrogate the tree with his mind. For a moment Dean was distracted by the angel, smiling a bit at the memory of the time Cas had insisted on interrogating a cat. Luckily, Cas had gotten better at blending in, so at least he wasn’t actively asking the tree questions. There was the sound of someone clearing their throat to Dean’s other side and Dean directed his attention back to the cemetery’s caretaker, Mrs. Paige.
“I’m not sure why the FBI would be interested in something like this.” The older woman sniffed and looked at both Cas and Dean suspiciously. Dean turned on the charm and gave her a warm smile.
“Unfortunately, we aren’t at liberty to discuss the details of the case, but we’d appreciate anything you can tell us about this tree Mrs. Paige, or the woman who was killed, Louisa Abbot.”
We’d also like any information you might have on the person who was buried here,” Castiel interrupted. “Most of the marker seems to be missing, perhaps destroyed by the sudden growth of this tree.”
“Well, I can certainly get you the information on who was buried here, this was one of our more famous gravesites. The man buried here died in the early 1800s, he is one of two Revolutionary War veterans laid to rest in the cemetery, his name was William Abbot. I believe he held the rank of Captain. The Boone Historical Society may have more information about him, but he is one of the earliest burials in the cemetery and a lot of those records have been lost over the years.” Mrs. Paige chewed on her lower lip for a moment, staring along with Dean at the tree once again. “The tree will have to be removed to restore Captain Abbot’s grave.”
“Was Captain Abbot an ancestor of the victim?” Cas’ question caught Dean off guard. There was something strangely mesmerizing about the massive twisting trunk rising out of the ground exactly where the remains of Captain Abbot would have been. Dean registered that Cas and the caretaker were continuing to talk, but Dean stepped away to examine the tree more carefully. It’s roots, on the surface at least, didn’t seem to spread out much. Rather they seemed to go straight down into the Earth. Its trunk was thick enough to have been there for hundreds of years despite having only appeared a few days ago. The tree itself was knotted in appearance, with ugly, twisted branches shooting out in all directions. For some reason it occurred to Dean that the tree looked like it was screaming in pain. Dean jumped when he suddenly felt Cas’ hand on his shoulder.
“Dean. Are you listening?” Dean pulled his eyes away from the tree and turned towards Cas who continued to keep his hand on Dean’s shoulder.
“Ah, no, sorry. This,” Dean waved vaguely at the impressive scene before them, “is kind of distracting.” Cas nodded seriously. Dean noticed that the caretaker had left, but was distracted again by Cas pulling his hand back. They always touched a bit longer than was probably normal, but Dean still regretted the loss of the warmth on his shoulder.
“Mrs. Paige said that the victim may have been a descendant of Captain Abbot, but she wasn’t sure. She suggested the Historical Society again, if we needed further information. She did say that she knew Louisa Abbot when she was a teenager. She was one of several teenagers she used to call the police on for breaking into the cemetery after hours to party. Mrs. Paige said she hadn’t really seen her in more recent years.
“Is there any way to tell if the good Captain is still here?” Dean waved towards the roots of the tree. Cas shook his head. “Ah well, I’d be surprised if they were still here. I guess we better find out what exactly Louisa Abbot was into.” They started walking back towards the car.
“I agree. I’d also like more information on the tree. I know it’s a type of elm, but I’m not sure of the significance, if there is any.”
“Call Sam and get him to work on it.” Cas let out an exasperated huff in response to Dean’s delegation of research to his brother.
“Dean. The entire reason we are here without Sam is so he can rest. He needs to sleep to get over the flu, especially since he refused to let me heal him. I am more than capable of finding the information, perhaps while you visit the historical society.”
“Alright. You want me to drop you off at the library?”
“That would be acceptable.” Cas paused to look out over the cemetery again before opening the passenger side door of the Impala. Dean noticed the angel’s hesitation.
“Everything okay man?” Castiel turned towards Dean upon hearing his words and Dean notices the sadness that ghosts across the angel’s face. “Seriously, Cas, what’s going on with you? You seem more, I dunno, out of it than usual.”
“I – this place is a lot like the cemetery where Mary was originally buried. I don’t like the memory of you leaving to die.” Cas looks away abruptly and climbs into the passenger seat. Dean is at a loss for words, so he doesn’t say anything at all. He drops Cas off at the library with all the things left unsaid hanging between them.
***
It’s off season for the small college town, most of the students having gone home for winter break, so the hunters end up with better than normal accommodations. Dean is more than happy to discover a decent grill-themed restaurant practically in the parking lot of their hotel, and Cas is happy to wait until his companion is content with food before telling him what he’d found during his time in the library. Dean talks ideally about the pie store the server had told him about, wondering if they’ll have time to check it out before they leave. Cas lets Dean talk, he finds himself still grateful that he can have these moments, he truly thought he was going to lose him in the attempt to destroy Amara.
Ever since Castiel’s brief time as a human he’s found that the emotions he’d been slowly acquiring over the years have amplified at a rate that he has had difficulty adjusting to. He’d hoped at the beginning that regaining his grace would have given him back some of the control that had spiraled away from him, but he can’t help but dwell on almost losing Dean.
When they reach their room, Dean opts to take a shower before swapping case notes so Cas tries to take that time to compose himself. When given moments away from Dean, where there is a chance for quiet, the angel forces himself to let the feelings he has for the infuriating man wash over him. He lets himself feel the pain at having to let him go up against Amara alone. He lets himself feel the overwhelming joy at seeing him alive once again. He lets himself feel how much he’s fallen in love with the beautiful human being. He recalls talking to Anna at the beginning of what would become his fall, her telling him it only gets worse. He has no doubt now that she wasn’t just referring to his struggle with doubt. An angel that can feel things akin to a human can easily become overwhelmed. They were not built for these sensations, and so, every time Castiel lets go to indulge in the wash of his emotions he pulls on his grace and works to reign them in one at a time. By the time Dean emerges from the shower Castiel has regained some semblance of stoicism.
“So, this lady at the historical society was great. She apparently teaches genealogy classes for free to the public or something, so she was able to pull up the victim’s ancestry pretty fast. Captain Abbot was her ancestor all right, so at least we have that connection. Couldn’t find much out about the family besides that, so we should talk to Louisa’s next of kin tomorrow. I think the police report said she had a sister locally.” Castiel agrees to the plan and pulls out some information he had printed at the library.
“The tree is called a ‘Wych Elm’ and is a common wood used to build coffins, which may explain it’s presence. It’s possible, if Captain Abbot’s coffin was made from this wood, that whatever spell was cast had the side effect of growing a new tree from the wood.” Dean raises his eyebrows skeptically when Cas shares this information.
“It’s called a witch elm Cas; do you really think it’s there because of the coffin wood?” Castiel rolls his eyes at his companion.
“W-Y-C-H Dean, not witch. It means pliable, it’s named for the characteristic of the wood. But no, to answer your question. I doubt it has anything to do with the coffin wood. It’s not a tree common to this area.” Dean waves his hand to indicate Castiel should continue. “You are not the only one to mistake the name of the tree for something else. More recent lore does associate the tree with actual witches as many of them seem to like these trees as ritualistic sites. The rest of the lore associates them with melancholy and death, especially because the trees are known for unexpectedly dropping branches and injuring the unsuspecting people standing below them.”
“Yeah, okay. Does that mean that Louisa was some sort of witch, and grew the tree there on purpose?” Cas thinks about Dean’s suggestion for a few moments.
“Possibly. The other thing these trees are known for is guarding the entrance to Hades, so it may also be a result of an attempt to raise the dead. I cannot be certain as this seems unlike any other necromantic ritual I’ve heard of. I am also uncertain at to the motivation of raising someone who died over two centuries ago, as the more recent dead are usually preferrable to necromancers.”
“Alright, well there’s not much more we can do tonight.” Castiel nods and watches Dean dig through his bag. Dean hesitates for a moment and Castiel begins to wonder if he forgot something at the bunker. Dean shakes his head and pulls a bundle out of his bag, tossing it to Castiel.
“Here, I forgot I brought this for you.” Dean looks expectantly at the angel as Cas looks at the material in his hands.
“Clothing? Dean, I have no need to change clothes.” Castiel’s confusion is evident on his face. Dean sighs rubs the back of his neck.
“I know man. Just try though, you’re more human-like than before with Heaven losing power. I know you don’t want to talk about it, but I noticed that you eat more often, and even sleep sometimes. I think you’ll actually appreciate relaxing in something that isn’t a suit and trench coat.” Cas looks at the clothing in his hands, dismayed that Dean has seen the weakening of his connection to Heaven. He hadn’t wanted Dean to think him less capable but at the same time he’s touched by the thought the man had put into the angel’s situation.
“Thank you, Dean. I will try.” Castiel goes into the bathroom to change and when he emerges, he finds Dean sitting on one of the beds flipping through TV channels. Dean slides over, indicating that Cas should sit down as the TV is only visible from the one bed. Dean complains that the only thing on is a Law & Order marathon because the hotel doesn’t have a streaming service on the TV. Cas doesn’t mind though, sharing the bed to watch television gives him an excuse to watch over Dean as he sleeps without Dean complaining about it. Even nicer is how Dean falls asleep gradually in the middle of an episode and doesn’t seem to notice how he curls into Cas’ side as he does it. Cas smiles and allows his feelings to wash over him again as he thinks about how the softer PJs must be more comfortable for Dean to lay on.
***
The following evening found the hunter and the angel at a place called Warm Springs Ranch. When they called Louisa’s sister, she told them she could talk during her break. The ranch ran some sort of Christmas event and Janice Abbot was one of the people in charge of it. Dean tried to play it cool, but he couldn’t help getting a bit excited over the chance to see the Budweiser Clydesdales. He did remind Cas that interrogating the horses was unnecessary to which he had received one of the angel’s full body eyerolls. Dean would never admit it out loud, but he really enjoyed Cas’ sarcasm. He thought the eyerolling was kind of adorable.
Dean hadn’t meant to spend last night half snuggling with his best friend, but Cas didn’t seem to mind so he wasn’t going to worry about it. Dean figured his secret crush on the guy was his problem, not the angel’s – as long as it didn’t mess up their friendship it wasn’t worth agonizing over.
They had unexpectedly spent the morning at the morgue. There was another strange death last night, something had eaten the victim’s spleen. They’d only received a call about it because the original victim, Louisa, had also been missing her spleen along with several other organs and most of her blood. If it was the same creature it certainly seemed to enjoy the bloodier organs of the body. The only other thing the victims had in common was proximity to the cemetery. The most recent victim had visited the cemetery the previous day according to her wife.
After that trip, they had gotten access to Louisa’s duplex and were now in agreement that she had been a practicing witch dabbling in necromancy. Cas had been on the phone with Rowena during the drive to the ranch giving her a rundown on the information they had in the hopes that she could help then understand more of what was going on. Eventually Cas had given in and called Sam, admitting that the younger Winchester had a much easier time getting Rowena’s cooperation.
When they finally arrived at the front of the line of cars entering the ranch, Dean began to understand why there was a crowd. The lights draped everywhere were impressive and Dean was happy to note that Cas seemed taken in by the display. It always cheered Dean up to see Castiel happy, it felt like those instances were all too rare in their line of work. Dean and Cas showed their badges at the entrance and asked where they could find Janice. They were directed to a side road for staff and Dean noticed the small frown of Cas’ face.
“Hey, want to ask if we can drive through the light display if we have time before we leave? It looks kinda awesome.” Castiel didn’t exactly smile but Dean could tell the suggestion pleased him. Dean wasn’t always sure why, but he was much better at reading Castiel than anyone else. Dean drove around to the back to park his car in what he assumed was the employee parking lot. They made their way through the staff entrance and asked around until they found Louisa’s sister.
“I honestly don’t know what I can tell you guys that I haven’t already told the other cops. I’m sorry she’s dead but Louisa and I were not close. She and I have barely spoken since we were kids. She was friends with some really weird people and did a lot of drugs when we were younger. I’m really not surprised she ended up dead in a cemetery.” Janice was clearly frustrated at her sister’s death and the notoriety it had brought with it. They did manage to find out the names of some of the ‘weird’ friends Louisa hung out with but beyond that she had been more than happy to offer them free access to the Christmas event just to be rid of them.
Dean was fairly certain the interview had been a dead end outside of assuring himself the sister wasn’t also a witch, but he didn’t feel their time had been wasted as he watched Cas roam through the stables. Cas attracted the few colts in residence leading to the kids in attendance following him around so they could see the young horses up close. Dean felt a soft warmth spread out from his chest as he watched his best friend talk with both the children and the colts. The children didn’t think anything of Cas having conversations with horses.
They eventually made their way back to the car and drove through the light display. Maybe they should have talked about the case, but Dean didn’t want to ruin the moment. Cas gazed out at the decorations with a look of quiet contentment on his face and Dean reached for the angel’s hand without thinking about it. Cas threaded his fingers through Dean’s without even turning away from the window.
Later that night, after grabbing burgers at a drive thru, they poured through the case notes together hoping to find something they had been missing. Dean didn’t even remember falling asleep until he woke up to Cas rolling him onto a pillow and laying a blanket on him. He mumbled a drowsy thank you and sunk into a dreamless slumber.
***
Cas thought that maybe it was a mistake, but after last night he didn’t want to be away from Dean. Once he had pulled a blanket over his exhausted friend, Cas changed into the pajamas Dean had given him again and laid down beside him. He stayed above the covers and just watched Dean sleep. He didn’t tell Dean anymore that he’d watch over him as he didn’t enjoy being called creepy. Dean didn’t seem to understand that watching was part of who Castiel was as an angel. While he had rebelled and fallen it didn’t change his need to watch over the man he pulled out of hell. It would be like going to long without air for a human. Cas needed to watch Dean, to protect him, to assure himself that he was safe.
He noticed Dean shivering despite the blanket draped over him and Castiel found himself giving into another impulse that he wasn’t sure Dean would appreciate. He pulled on the smallest amount of his grace to give some substance to his wings and dropped one of them on top of the man he loved. They were broken and battered, but over the years they had healed enough to fill out a bit. Dean quieted as he felt the weight of the wing, and Cas saw a small smile ripple across his face. The angel would just have to pull his wings back from the physical realm before Dean woke up, but it was worth the grace to keep Dean more comfortable as he slept.
***
Dean opened his eyes in the morning to find a sleeping angel next to him. He froze as soon as he saw Cas there, more worried that the angel had fallen asleep than about the fact that Dean was all to happy to wake up to his best friend lying beside him. He reached over to see if he could wake Cas up and ran into – feathers? Dean quickly rubbed his hands over his face and woke up more definitively. Yup, those were feathers. Large, gorgeous, black feathers that shimmered like obsidian in the sunlight. It was as if every color that had ever existed had come together to create the shimmering black of Castiel’s wings. While concerned about why Cas was sleeping and why his wings were manifested when Dean had only ever seen shadows, Dean couldn’t help but be enthralled with the things. His hand reached out to pet the one blanketing him before he actually thought about it. He had just enough time to appreciate how amazingly soft they felt before Castiel awoke with a gasp. The wing pulled back suddenly and Cas was sitting up staring at Dean in shock.
“Sorry, sorry! Did I hurt you? I didn’t mean anything by it, they were just so amazing… I’m so sorry Cas!” Dean held up his hands trying to placate the angel as he also sat up. Cas looked at his wings as if he had just realized they were physically present. Surprise travelled over his features and with a roll of Cas’ shoulders the wings disappeared. Dean tried not to look as disappointed as he felt. Cas turned back to Dean and briefly touched his jaw.
“It’s alright Dean. I was just surprised. They were manifested more than I intended and the sensation of you touching them was unexpected.”
“Did I hurt you?”
“No, like I said it was just unexpected, not harmful. I apologize, I didn’t mean for them to be out for so long.” Dean was surprised to note that Cas looked embarrassed.
“I – I’m glad I got to see them. They’re fucking awesome Cas, the shadows were badass enough, but wow. If I had known you could manifest them like that, I’d have been begging you to show me for years.” Cas laughed and the tension between them evaporated. Dean got ready in the bathroom and found Cas back in his regular clothing hanging up the phone when he’d finished brushing his teeth.
“Rowena thinks she knows what happened, or at least some of it. She’s not completely sure about the role of the Wych Elm, but she did say that it’s likely we will need to use wood from the tree to kill the creature that was raised.”
“Did she say what it is?” Cas nodded in response to Dean’s question.
“She thinks Louisa was trying to make her own vampire. Ties of blood are necessary for control and the age of the corpse increases the power of the risen dead in a ritual like this. Rowena said that no one tries this type of thing though, because the amount of power and control needed are astronomical. She said she wouldn’t try it herself, that there are easier ways to get a loyal servant. Then she said something about how maybe Louisa didn’t have the ‘assets’ Rowena had?” Dean broke into laughter and Cas tilted his head in puzzlement. Dean always enjoyed Cas’ air quotes.
“Don’t worry about it, Cas. Okay, so Louisa was trying to make her own breed of vampire.”
“It would seem so. Obviously, she wasn’t successful, and not just in regards to her lack of control. Whatever the creature technically is, it’s not just drinking blood.” Dean chewed over Cas’ words as the angel did something on the laptop. All Dean could think is that this thing seemed to be some sort of zombie vampire. It didn’t really make a difference though, as long as they had a way to kill it. Or re-kill it as it were.
“So, Rowena said we can use the Wych Elm wood to kill the thing?” Cas didn’t even look up from the screen to answer Dean’s question.
“Not exactly. She said it had to be the specific tree that grew out of the grave. She also said it wouldn’t be enough by itself. I’m looking at the spell now.” Dean decided to leave Cas to it and work on getting their gear together. It was still a vampire after all, even if it was some sort of mutant version.
“Dean. I think this will work. Dead man’s blood should still help to incapacitate it. We also need the ashes of it’s creator and the blessing of the divine.” Dean widened his eyes at that list, but he supposed it was doable. They could steal Louisa’s body from the morgue if necessary. “We use the spell to seal the ingredients into the wood of the elm. Then we have to stab the creature with the elm wood through its heart.”
“So, we have to stake the vampire? Seriously?” Dean was amused at the idea of staking a vampire actually working.
“Yes, Dean. Afterwards I’d still suggest decapitation and burning whatever is left, just to make sure it stays dead.” Cas closed the laptop and pushed it aside.
“Sure. You have a plan for blessing of the divine?” Cas smiled at Dean.
“That’s easy enough.” Cas didn’t even warn Dean, one moment he’s standing there looking at the angel expectantly, the next he has a faceful of feathers.
“Um, I thought you didn’t want me touching them.” Dean couldn’t see Castiel, but he could hear him snickering. Dean pushed the wing away from his eyes in time to see Cas laughing at him.
“I said it was unexpected, not that I minded you touching. Anyway, this will work.” Dean watches as Cas runs his finger through the feathers and finds one that comes loose. In between one blink and the next the wings are hidden once again. Cas hold a single feather in his hand, the echo of his earlier laughter still present in his smile.
“What about the ashes? Do we need to break into the morgue?”
“We don’t need a specified amount; we can get away with most anything. Maybe just hair or something small, we needn’t steal an entire corpse.” Dean sighs in relief, that’s one less complication.
“Well let’s head out then, I’d like this taken care of before sunset. Wait, how are we going to find the thing anyway? You think it’s prowling around the cemetery?” Cas nods.
“Yes, Dean. Rowena seems to think it’s probably tied to the elm and with the other victim also being close to the area I’m inclined to agree with her. Using the tree for the spell may even be enough to draw it to us. If you want to drop me off at the cemetery, I can start preparing everything while you get the ashes.” Dean agrees and grabs his keys.
***
Cas is somewhat relieved to be dropped off at the cemetery. While Dean hadn’t reacted poorly to being draped in an angel wing this morning, or the fact that Cas was asleep in the same bed, he couldn’t help feeling that he had been pushing things too far. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep while also solidifying his wings. He needed to conserve his grace for more important tasks. While Castiel was truly content to just be a part of Dean’s life it was difficult to remind himself that he could not have more, especially with his poor control over the very human-like emotions he now experienced. What was really tipping him over the edge though, was how Dean kept reacting. Dean did not react with anger or defensiveness when he found himself in situations that hinted of a more intimate relationship with Cas. He acted as if it were normal and even welcome. It surprised Cas, but it also gave him some of the hope that he had never really allowed himself to have. It was distracting, which made it all the better that he would be prepping the spell by himself.
Cas collected a branch from the Wych Elm growing out of Captain Abbot’s grave, mindful of the tree’s reputation for dropping branches on unsuspecting passersby. Then Cas took a few moments to make sure the caretaker knew that he and his partner may be around afterhours because of the attack yesterday and was happy to find out that she had already decided to stay with a friend until she felt safer. Cas made quick work of the elm branch, pleased with how easy it was to shape into a stake. The sun would set soon so Castiel got to work engraving the sigil they would need directly into the tree trunk. Once Dean brought the last ingredient it should only take them a few minutes to complete everything. With any luck the vampire would come to them.
He was so absorbed in creating the sigil that he almost didn’t hear the movement behind him in time.
***
As usual, things had not gone according to plan. Dean had arrived to see Cas holding the mutant-vamp at bay, but clearly struggling to gain an upper hand over the creature they didn’t yet have the means to kill. Dean knew better than to jump into the middle of that fight, it was more important to finish Rowena’s spell. He dumped the ashes in with the rest of the material. Luckily Cas had left a copy of the actual spell out by the bowl with all the ingredients. The incantation was pretty straightforward and Dean quickly scooped up the resulting concoction on two fingers and began filling in the sigil carved into the tree. Dean picked up the branch Cas had sharpened into a stake and touched it to the sigil, running through the incantation one more time. In a brief flash of light, the sigil was absorbed into the stake.
“Cas!” Dean threw the stake towards the angel who managed to catch it neatly without even looking. Ducking down as the creature threw itself towards him, Cas pushed the stake up and underneath the monster’s rib cage with more force than a normal human could have managed. Dean breathed a sigh of relief too early, the vamp surged back up and made another run at the rapidly tiring angel.
“Rowena may have overlooked something.” Cas sounded remarkably composed considering how ragged he looked. Dean looked around them desperately for something they had missed. Then he saw how the tree was shivering and pulsing as if trying to reach out to the vampire. Of course!
“Hey asshole, leave my goddamn angel alone!” Dean knew the shotgun wouldn’t work against the creature but it got his attention, and with the impact to its shoulder and the stake still protruding from its ribcage the monster snarled as it barreled towards Dean. Dean was backed up against the tree as Cas turned on him with a horrified look on his face.
“DEAN!” Cas sounded both angry and devastated as he chased after the vampire, but Dean just yelled out instructions, all too aware what this probably looked like from Cas’ point of view.
“Stake it to the tree!” Cas caught on quick and as Dean threw himself out of the way Cas leapt after the thing that had once been Captain Abbot. Cas reached down to where the stake was sticking out and wrenched until the creature’s back was on the trunk of the Wych Elm. Pushing off from the ground Cas slammed the stake further in, until the vampire was stuck to the tree. It screeched as light pulsed from the stake into the tree. The Wych Elm seemed to come to life as it collapsed in on itself, dragging the mutant-vamp back to wherever the tree had come from. Within moments all that was left was a broken gravestone.
“Huh. Guess we don’t have to worry about burning it,” Dean quipped. Castiel rounded on him, clearly not feeling amused.
“What were you thinking? What if I hadn’t been fast enough?” Dean let Castiel rant at him for a few moments, standing up and dusting off the dirt from the back of his jeans.
“I’m sorry, man. I didn’t want to tip it off.”
“So instead, you made it look like you were drawing it away from me? Getting yourself killed for me!?” Castiel’s eyes flashed dangerously blue.
“Yeah, and it worked. For the record, I’d have done that even if it wasn’t to trick the thing though. Better me than you.” Dean was maybe angrier than he expected. He realized he’d been worried about how long Cas would last against that thing as he noted cuts that weren’t healing and the way the angel was swaying as he tried to hold himself upright. He also noticed that the blue in Cas’ eyes was in no way diminishing as he glowered at Dean.
“You. Are. Absurd. You are worth everything to me.” Then, rather abruptly, Cas fell over. Dean’s heart was pounding in his ears, both from what the angel had said and the sudden alarm he felt at a cosmic being fainting. He pulled Cas up into his arms, and damn, he was heavier than Dean had expected. Not just the muscle that Dean could feel, but he idlily wondered if the wings somehow added weight. Either way, Dean eventually made it back to their hotel room, although his back wouldn’t thank him for it later.
***
Cas woke up in the pajamas Dean had given him with an arm thrown over his chest. Confused, Cas turned slowly and realized that they were back in the hotel and Dean was asleep beside him, curled around the angel’s torso. As small rays of sunlight peeked through the curtains Cas could see his normal clothing folded nearby on a chair. He noticed that the wounds his grace hadn’t healed yet had been cleaned and bandaged, and that the blanket was pulled up around both him and Dean. As Dean let out a contented sigh in his sleep and burrowed closer, Castiel thought that perhaps he too was worth everything to someone. Smiling the angel allowed himself to drift back to sleep, happily thinking about how Dean had told the vampire to stay away from “his” angel.
The Destiel December 2020 Challenge looked like fun so I decided to jump in! I unapologetically write fluff, just FYI. Thanks for throwing this together @galaxycastiel and @jellydeans, it’s a great idea :)
On Ao3
Day 1: Fireplace
They’d come to Colorado on a case but by the time they had burned the bones of the ghost causing all the trouble the incoming storm had hit and the roads would be closed at least until tomorrow. On the upside, their accommodations were much nicer than usual. Investigating a haunting at a ski resort with private cabins had its benefits, including a small kitchen and a fireplace. Sam had turned in shortly after eating, but Dean was excited to make real hot chocolate. He had purchased the ingredients at the small gift shop off of the main cabin. He insisted Castiel try some and though Cas hadn’t been able to taste much since being restored to an angel, he appreciated that Dean wanted him to share the experience. Cas usually indulged Dean, especially when he saw some of the carefree person he must once have been slip through. Cas cherished the rare moments he could see such untroubled happiness on the face of the man he loved.
“We used to have hot chocolate whenever it snowed. Sammy doesn’t remember of course, but drinking something warm when it was cold and all the sound was muffled outside…” Dean trails off, almost as if he hadn’t realized he was talking out loud. Castiel knew that remembering the time before his mother died was hard on Dean, but this time the memory seemed to comfort him. Dean smiled brightly as he turned to Castiel. “What do you think of it, Cas?”
“I can appreciate that the contrast of hot liquid on a cold day would be soothing.” Dean rolled his eyes and sat down on the couch next to Cas. This close to the small fire Dean had put Cas in charge of building, the light from the flames cast the room in a warm glow. Dean finished his drink in comfortable silence. Dean stretched over Cas to put his empty mug on the small end table next to Cas’ half full cup. When Dean settled back down on the cushions he was even closer to Castiel, although the angel wasn’t sure if Dean was aware of it. Dean seemed lost in thought.
“Thanks for coming with us on this case, Cas. I’m sure you have other things to do.”
“You asked me. Of course I came.” Dean leaned back into the cushions and Cas couldn’t help but notice how beautiful the man next to him was. Cas knew he was staring but couldn’t seem to find the will to stop as Dean sleepily relaxed into the soft couch. “I’m not sure how much I was needed though. This was ‘cut and dry’.” Cas only continued to use air quotes around Dean because he had noted that Dean seemed to enjoy it. Dean huffed out a small laugh.
“Whatever man, I’m just glad you’re here.” Cas smiled softly as Dean began to drift off to sleep. It wasn’t long before Dean had nodded off and slowly slid down Cas’ arm and into his lap. Cas knew Dean wasn’t ready to acknowledge the bond between them. It didn’t matter tonight. All that mattered now was the soft sound of Dean’s breath, the softness of the blonde hair Cas gently ran his fingers through, and the knowledge that the man with the soul that shone more brightly than any the angel had ever seen was happy that Cas was here. As the firelight danced across Dean’s face, Castiel was content.
